Under the boss
by djem90
Summary: Summary:- Izaya has his own company, Shizuo is a hermaphrodite working for him, while hiding his secret. He hates his boss and wants nothing to do with him. What happens when his secret gets found out? Rating:- M. Pairing:- IZUO Izaya x Shizuo . Disclaimer:- I don't own Durarara. Warning:- Izaya, language, yaoi
1. Dear diary

Title:- Under the boss

Rating:- M

Pairing:- Izuo Izaya x Shizuo

Disclaimer:- I don't own Durarara

Warning:- Izaya, language, yaoi

Summary:- Izaya has his own company, Shizuo is a hermaphrodite working for him, while hiding his secret. Neither one knows much about the other and the blond hopes it stays that way. Too bad he's upset Namie then.

_A/N:- The title defiantly needs to be changed, so if anyone has any ideas let me know. Enjoy._

**Dear Diary**

Dear diary or maybe it should be dear Kasuka, since he was the one who brought this for me. I take a week off from work every month, laying on the sofa running out of things to do. Yes, it gets boring and it doesn't help my mood. So Kasuka suggested I waste time writing down my feelings, or maybe it's just to keep me occupied since I finished all the cake and chocolate in the apartment.

Where to start... My name is Shizuo Heiwajima and I'm a man, sort of. My name is Shizuka Hanejima and I'm a woman, soft of. See I was born as a hermaphrodite or Intersex. A limited number of people know, my parents for a start. We don't really get along, they don't know whether to call me their son or daughter. They prefer Kasuka and once this week is over, I won't mind.

Kasuka is my younger brother, the success of the family and all male. But funnily enough, I don't hate him for it. He's stuck by me through everything. He's the one that helped me with my second identity. I love Kasuka and I'll do anything to protect him.

Now where was I? I was born Shizuo Heiwajima, mainly male. I'm twenty three have two identities and two jobs. I grew up normalish, apart from the whole intersex thing. Oh and the strength, I still can't believe Kasuka forgave me for trying to crush him with a table.

School was okay, I dressed as a boy, was treated as a boy. Everything was fine. Changing for p.e and showering was a bit scary, you never knew when one of the other students would say. "Why do you have another hole?" That was the one thing I dreaded. I met Shinra, I haven't told him yet. As soon as he saw me lose it, he's been asking for blood samples and to dissect me.

His girlfriend Celty is my best friend, but she doesn't know either. Kasuka is the only one I would ever trust. Then came high school, I was still dressing and being known as a boy, while everyone had discovered my brother's talent for acting. The usually expressionless Kasuka, would become an actor. I had never seen my parents look so happy.

And then the mood swings started, my feminine hormones kicked in, making me confused, angry and crying all of the time. It was my mother that realized what was wrong and days later, I woke up screaming covered in blood. My period had started. The cramps were horrible, my moods were a mess, but for once my mother had stepped in to help.

She was the one that showed me how to deal with it, the painful cramps, how to use pads, because like hell I was using tampons. I was kept off school, until it eased off and was under control. But that was just the beginning, I felt confused, how should I have been acting a girl or a boy? The look on my dad's face was priceless when I asked him to buy me a dress.

I needed to see if it would work. I think my mum convinced him, since there were girls clothes on the bottom of my bed, when I had gotten home from school. I rushed into the bathroom, quickly getting changed, looking at my naked body, was uncomfortable. The dress was plain, cutting off below my knee. It was flat against my chest, but part of it felt right.

My parents argued trying to decide how I should be. It was Kasuka who spoke up for me. I carried on at school as a boy, Kasuka had become a child actor and was enrolled in a special school. They had made him pick a name for himself, for his acting career. He was now Kasuka Hanejima. I was the one who picked him up everyday. I dressed as a girl and called myself Shizuka Hanejima.

It worked for both of us, Kasuka had a sister he could rely on and I could be a girl for a while. I didn't have any girlfriends, they were mostly scared of me and the few that did ask me out, I turned down. I think there was a rumour I was gay going around.

I finished school, I didn't get high grades, but I didn't fail either. Kasuka started filming for his first film. Neither one of us saw each other for a while, so Shizuka had been put to sleep. I got a job as a bartender, learning how to serve drinks. I kept the job for about a month, until I lost my temper. It was horrible, just after a package from Kasuka had arrived. Bartender uniforms for both male and female.

It was at that time a new company opened. Shinra and Celty knew some people and had got me a job. All I knew was that it was an office job, I would be dealing with computers and paperwork. My would be boss was nice, his name was tom. I had known him in high school as well. He talked through everything with me and let me know that I had the job.

The owner of the company was Izaya Orihara. The same age as me. I've only seen him a couple of times, but he pisses me off. The company I work for is known as TGOI, it stands for The Great Orihara Industries. The man thinks he's god, he talks to us through the speaker every morning, calling us his precious humans. Everyone at work agrees there's something wrong.

I haven't quit yet, where else can I find such a good boss like Tom and flexible hours? I still have to take the week off whenever my cycle ends. So I put up with it, occasionally he walks past me with those annoying eyes of his. Luckily he doesn't know anything about me, I'm not on his radar. Which makes me both happy and relieved.

I've been working there ever since, I'm now twenty three. Back to my other job. Six months after I had started working at TGOI, my feminine side decided to come out. I lived in my own apartment, which Kasuka stayed at when he was back in Ikebukuro. Shizuka Hanejima was tired of being shut out.

Thanks to Kasuka and his manager, my other identity became official. I was known as Shizuka Hanejima. The bartender outfits came in handy, I got a part-time job in a bar called Artic. My boss was okay, but I didn't like the way he stared at me. Still he hadn't tried everything.

So that's how everything is now, I work five days a week as Shizuo Heiwajima, the weekend as Shizuka Hanejima and stay at home for a week, when I'm due on. It's tiring sometimes, but I'm managing. I can live a double life and keep both sides happy.

Which brings me to now, wearing nothing but my boxers and an oversized shirt, because I can't decide whether to be a man or a woman this week. My moods are a mess, I have dried tear stains on my face and I am out of chocolate.

Shizuo snaps the diary shut as the door is unlocked. Kasuka is finally back. "Nii-san. I'm back." The blond jumps from the sofa, grabbing the bags. "I didn't know what you wanted, so I got a bit of everything." He pulled open the first one, pulling out the first packet of chocolate bars. "Mm. Thanks Kasuka. I started using the diary you brought me."

They took the rest of the bags to the sofa. There was no point in packing anything. "Did it keep you busy?" Shizuo nodded. "I didn't destroy anything." He handed the diary to Kasuka. "Are you sure you want me to read it?" The blond smiled, nodding. "You're the only one I trust Kasuka." Kasuka flipped to the first page. "You wrote a lot."

Shizuo demolished the first chocolate bar, going onto the next. "Slow down, I'm not going out until tomorrow." The blond sighed. "It's been a week. It should be back to normal tomorrow." Kasuka looked up at him. "Did mum talk to you about going on the pill?" He blushed embarrassed, he couldn't help it. Why was his brother so straight forward? "She mentioned it. I need to see a doctor."

Kasuka nodded, his usual expressionless face, as he read through his brother's diary. It was a good idea. What Shizuo had written was completely honest. "You're going back to work tomorrow?" The blond nodded, his face lighting up as he pulled out a cake box. "Strawberry. This is the best." Kasuka sighed. His brother now had chocolate and cakes, he would be happy for the time being.

**Next – Double life**


	2. Double life

**Double life**

Shizuo hit the alarm clock, groaning as the bed side table went with it. He needed to stop doing that. Kasuka would probably be getting tired of buying replacements. Dragging himself out of bed, he headed to the shower. The blond snapped awake as the cold spray hit him. It was the same every morning.

Getting dressed, in his usual work suit. Smart smart, jacket, trousers, and tie, not forgetting the black boots he wore. He smiled as he checked himself in the mirror. The trousers had plenty of leg space, so you couldn't see how thin his legs were, That was for when he was Shizuka.

Kasuka had breakfast ready, so he sat at the table as they did every morning, when his brother was here. "When is your next shoot?" He took a bite of his toast and reached for the milk. "Next week, I'll be gone for two weeks, if everything goes okay." Shizuo nodded, draining the glass. "Are you feeling okay today?"

"If you mean, do I feel like a man, then yeah. It'll be okay until the end of the month." A small smile graced Kasuka's usually expressionless one. "That's great, nii-san. You'll need to talk to mum about any other problems." Other, being his girl issues. The one thing Kasuka had no idea about. He finished his last mouth full taking his dishes to the sink. "Leave it, nii-san. I'll do it."

Shizuo nodded, Kasuka had nothing to do for a week, so if he wanted to do it, he'd let him. "Do you need a lift?" As much as it was appreciated, he had to refuse. "Sorry Kasuka, I can't let anyone find out about me." His brother's face was blank. "Do you want to come to the bar on Saturday?" Where he was known as Yuuhei Hanejima's sister. "Yeah, okay. Have a good day, nii-san."

Luckily he lived close by, so the walking distance wasn't that long. Lighting up a cigarette, he made his way to where he worked as Shizuo Heiwajima. TGOI was a large building, with large letters across the top. The Great Orihara Industries. Ugh, even the name pissed him off. Shizuo leaned outside the entrance, finishing off his cigarette.

A stylish car pulled up outside, making him curse himself for not being quicker. Their CEO always arrived at the same time everyday and sure enough, Izaya Orihara stepped from the car. He moved like he owned the place, well he did. But the damn flea, believed he was god. He was slightly shorter than Shizuo, wearing trousers, a black shirt and a ridiculous jacket, that had fur along the edges.

As usual he strode into the building, crimson eyes took in everything, while acknowledging no one. Shizuo let a sigh of relief out, once he had gone. He gave it another minute, before putting out his cigarette and entering the building. He had another twenty minutes before work started. His hours were nine to five.

"Good morning, Shizu-chan." He groaned as Erika waved to him. She was a bit weird and into a lot of different things, the people that knew her, would tell you she had a pile of manga in her work desk. Anime she watched on her lunch break or if she got bored and some rather disturbing drawings, which everyone ignored, for their own sanity.

"Good morning, Karisawa." He got along with her, the only problem was the girlish name, she had given him. But he guessed it was fine as long as no one else called him it. The desks were put together in fours. On his one, there was Karisawa, Kadota and Mikado.

Kadota was usually quiet, surprisingly he was the only one who could stop Erika, when she got into one of her moods. Mikado was there on work experience. This would be his third week, his last day was on friday. It had taken Shizuo a week to learn the kid's name. "Good morning, Heiwajima-san. Are you feeling better?" Shizuo smiled. "I'm fine." Mikado didn't know he took time off every month.

Kadota glanced over at him. "Hey." Shizuo nodded, neither of them spoke much. Kadota groaned looking at his watch. "Here he goes." Right on cue, there was a click as the speaker came on. Izaya was giving his usual morning announcement. Shizuo ignored him, switching on his computer. When you have spare time, you learn a lot. Good teachers helped too.

_Good morning, my lovely humans. It's a new day, I hope you're all happy and ready to work. Work hard my precious humans. If you have any problems, you can come and see me. _

Izaya's voice sounded deceptively sweet, it made him shudder. He knew that everyone one around him, didn't believe a word of it. Well he wasn't sure about Mikado. Every time something interesting happened, the teen's eyes would light up.

The other one doing work experience was Kida, at lunch the two would sneak away together. He was on the other table, along with Walker, who he was sure, was Erika's boyfriend. And Seiji, who should be in school, but thanks to his sister, being Izaya's PA, he got special treatment. Tom, his manager had his own office.

"Was it just me or did he sound happier?" Kadota was the straightforward one. Erika shrugged. "You know what Iza-Iza is like." Shizuo shrugged, opening his emails. Izaya had a god complex, he popped up and disappeared any time he wanted. He didn't like him. At all.

"Guys, I was thinking." Kadota groaned, Shizuo felt the same. Erika was about to go into one of her crazy theories. "Do you think Iza-Iza and Namie are together?" Namie was Izaya's PA, her brother was sitting on the table next to them and Erika knew that.

"I mean, you don't see him with any female clients and we know he hasn't got a girlfriend." She was practically squealing now. "If he's not with Namie, then maybe he's gay." Kida laughed from the other table. "With that coat, he's gotta be." Mikado sighed, expecting Kida to say something.

"Sei-Sei. Is Izaya going out with your sister?" Shizuo watched Kadota tense. They all knew there was something wrong with the teen. He wasn't quite right in the head, little things seemed to send him over the edge. Shizuo and Kadota didn't trust him and were careful how they acted. Erika had no problems, blindly walking into bad situations.

"No. What's it to you?" Erika's smile dropped. Kadota quickly grabbed her arm, calming her down. "So does that mean he's gay?" Mikado blurted out, making her eyes light up again. "I would say so. Shizu-chan. Why don't you ask him?" The blond shook his head. He wasn't going anywhere near the flea.

"Wait Shizu-chan hasn't got anyone yet." There was a scary gleam in Erika's eye. "Are you gay? Shizu-chan." The blond sighed. "No." Which was true he was both male and female, so it wasn't really a question of his preference. Not that he could be in a relationship.

"Aw, damn. I was thinking you and Iza-Iza, could get together." Kadota covered his laugh, while the blond felt sick. "Even if I was gay, the last person I would be with would be Izaya." Mikado blinked, Erika looked sad and Kadota put his head on the desk laughing.

Lunch time came, so he logged off his computer. Erika did the same, leaving with Walker. Mikado left with Kida, leaving him, Kadota and Seji. "Do you want to get some lunch?" Shizuo nodded. "Cafe across the road?" They left Seji staring at his computer. The teen creeped him out. They both ordered, sitting at the table to wait. There wasn't a lot on the menu, so they both had chips.

The vibration in his pocket, let him know he had a call. He groaned as he saw the name on the screen. "I have to get this. I'll be back in a minute." Reluctantly he accepted the call. "Hello mother." He had a feeling he knew why she was calling. _Kasuka called me. He said you were thinking about contraception._

Shizuo groaned, checking that no one was listening. "Yeah." There was a sigh of relief on the other end. _Does this mean you've finally found someone. I would be happy with grandchildren, Shizuka. _The blond sighed. "I know. I have to go." _I'll let you know a good doctor. _Shizuo lowered his head, trying not to crush the phone.

His parents constantly argued about him. His mother addressed him as a woman, calling him Shizuka and only buying him female stuff. While his father treated him as a man, calling him Shizuo. Sometimes it hurt, how his parents treated him, both only accepting one half.

"Bad news?" Their order had arrived. Kadota was slowly eating his. "Family stuff." They didn't say anything else as they finished, their lunch. Throwing their rubbish away, they made their way back to the office. Tom was still in his office, Seiji was still at his desk. The others hadn't come back yet.

His phone beeped, sighing he read the message. It was from his boss at Artic, asking him to come in Friday night as well as Saturday and Sunday. He text back quickly, saying it was okay.

The rest of the day passed by quickly, as soon as it hit five o'clock, he switched off his computer. "See you guys tomorrow." Erika was logging off too. "I'll walk with you, Shizu-chan." The rest of them said goodbye as he left. They made their way along the corridor, to the lift. Erika was babbling about some anime she had watched.

They stepped outside of the building, Shizuo lighting up a cigarette. "I'll see you tomorrow, Shizu-chan." The blond nodded, giving her a small wave. "Shizu-chan? Are you a girl then?" He froze, he recognized that voice. Sure enough Izaya was standing next to him, a smirk on his face. Of all the days, Erika had called him that name. It had to be when Izaya was there.

He debated walking away and pretending he hadn't heard. "Shizu-chan? It suits you." The blond grit his teeth, cigarette bending between his fingers. "I don't like it when my precious humans ignore me." Shizuo sighed. "I'm not a girl. Karisawa made it up." There, the first words he had ever said to Izaya.

"Hmm. I think I'll call you it as well. Shizu-chan, Shizu-chan, Shizu-chan." Great, just what he hadn't wanted to happen. "My name is Shizuo." Izaya smirked. "I know, I know everyone's name." Why did he look so damn happy? "By the way, I forgot to inform everyone, that cctv was installed over the weekend. Have a good evening, Shizu-chan." His cigarette lay in two pieces on the ground, as he stared blankly after Izaya. Damn it.

Next:- Chaos in the office


	3. Chaos in the office

**Chaos in the office**

"Damn it. Stupid flea." He carried on cursing as he opened the door. "Welcome back, nii-san. Bad day?" Shizuo closed the door, trying not to break it. "It's that damn flea's fault." Kasuka looked up at him. "Tom or Orihara?"

Shizuo sighed, sitting next to him on the sofa. "Izaya. He let us go the whole day, without telling us he'd installed cctv." Kasuka stared at him, expressionless. "And that's bad?" The blond nodded. "Most of the time, we talk about him. Ugh, the things we said today. He probably heard everything. That's why he was so damn happy."

"And he told you all after work?" Shizuo shook his head, sinking back into the sofa. "No, just me. And thanks to Karisawa, he's calling me Shizu-chan." Kasuka patted him gently on the back. "He doesn't know, nii-san. You can ignore him."

"Thanks Kasuka. I'll warn the others tomorrow." His brother nodded, before standing. "I'll make dinner, you can have a bath first." Shizuo nodded, grateful for Kasuka's help. It had been an okay day, apart from his mother's call and Izaya. He didn't know what he would do when Kasuka left for filming.

Shizuo let the bath water run, grabbing what he needed from the bedroom. He could see Kasuka had replaced the bedside table and alarm clock. Apart from his bed and wardrobe, there was nothing else. He needed to be careful, in case anyone came around. The chest of drawers and make up table he used as Shizuka, were in Kasuka's room.

That was the only mirror he used, it was small enough for him to still see what he was doing, but not big enough to see his full reflection. He hated seeing himself in mirrors and refused to be in photographs. He couldn't accept his own image.

Shizuo turned off the taps, quickly stripping himself of his work clothes. He let himself relax as he sank into the hot water. Tomorrow he would get there early, so he didn't see Izaya. He would warn Kadota to keep Erika under control as well. If Izaya was watching them, they had to be careful what they said.

He wasn't sure how much time passed, when Kasuka knocked on the door. "Nii-san, dinner is ready." Shizuo grabbed the edge of the bath puling himself out, quickly drying himself. He didn't touch his own body, unless it was necessary.

"Thanks Kasuka." Now dressed, he sat down at the table to eat. "Are you going to have an early night? Or do you want to watch tv together?" Shizuo swallowed his mouthful before answering. "I'll watch tv with you. Thanks for the alarm clock and table." Kasuka nodded. "No problem,nii-san."

Shizuo woke up the next morning, groaning as his hand slipped from the covers, trying to shut the damn thing up. He stopped at the last moment, remembering what he was about to smash. He let out a sigh of relief, seeing the undamaged alarm and table. He had managed to avoid one disaster, maybe it would be a good day.

Kasuka was already up, sitting at the kitchen table. "Morning, nii-san. I made breakfast." Shizuo nodded, doing up the last buttons on his shirt. He quickly slipped the tie over his neck, pulling it tight. "Morning Kasuka, I'll eat on the way. I have to get there before the flea."

His brother nodded, going to open the fridge. "That's fine. I think it would be better if you ignore him." But he couldn't do that, Izaya demanded to be noticed. "Here, I picked one up for you." Shizuo had just finished with his jacket, when he saw the pudding cup in Kasuka's hand. "Thanks, Kasuka. I have to go."

Taking it, he slipped it into his pocket, with the small plastic spoon. Snatching up the toast, he quickly left the apartment, eating on the way. He felt the muscles in his legs burn as he quickened his pace. Just as he reached the entrance, Izaya pulled up. Damn it. Reluctantly he placed the cigarettes back in his pocket. He wouldn't be able to smoke this morning.

"Good morning, Shizu-chan." Ugh, the damn flea had caught up with him. Shizuo nodded in reply, he hated being nice to someone he didn't like or in Izaya's case, despised. "That wasn't an answer, Shizu-chan. Should we try that again?" He could see in that smirk, Mr god complex was enjoying this."

"Izaya. You have a meeting in ten minutes." Saved by the annoying P.A who hated him. Namie stepped in front of Izaya, blocking any escape. For once he was glad to see her, he didn't mind her glaring at him. Shizuo carried on walking, further and further away from him, until he was out of sight. That's two. Maybe this would be a good day.

Seji was already there, glued to his computer screen. Tom waved from his office. He was early, so he would need to wait for Kadota to come in. Sitting down at his desk, he switched the computer on and waited for it to load.

"Shizu-chan." Erika came up behind him, throwing her arms around his neck. He had shuddered, when she had called him that name, most likely because of Izaya. "Good morning, Karisawa." Erika was with Kadota and Walker. Mikado and Kida followed. All of them sat down. Erika and Walker started going through their draws, handing books to each other.

"Kadota, can I talk to you." Erika was too busy to notice them. Kadota raised an eyebrow. "Sure." The two of them stood, making their way to the kitchen. Kadota boiled the kettle, making himself a drink. "Izaya caught me yesterday." The other groaned. "Tell me you didn't hit him."

Kadota knew about his strength, like his gender, he had tried to keep it hidden. But keeping his strength under control was harder. He had lashed out against Kasuka, then again at school. Luckily he still remained unknown throughout Ikebukuro. The last thing he needed was attention.

"No, There's cctv in the building." Kadota groaned. "I'll try and keep Erika quiet. Why did he tell you?" Shizuo shrugged. "I don't know. To mess with me?" There was a small static sound, making them both sigh. It was time for Izaya's morning announcement.

_Good morning, my lovely humans, I hope you are having a good day. There has been cctv installed though out the building, for your own safety. Work hard and if you have any problems, you can always come and see me._

"Ugh, I think I need the dentist. Cavities." Shizuo grinned. "Same here. I suppose we should check on the others." Kadota nodded, finishing making his coffee. "No, way. Iza-Iza put in cameras?" Shizuo held his breath, noticing Kadota do the same. Please don't let it be a Karisawa melt-down. "Shizu-chan. Did you hear that?"

Erika was out of her seat, looking around the room. "This is great, no it's terrible. Agh! I can't decide." Shizuo sat at his desk, while Kadota tried to calm Erika down. "Iza-Iza, can hear everything we say and see what we do. I can't read my manga anymore." Then she squealed. "But then again, Iza-Iza can see what everyone does after dark. He can see employees, grab their co-workers and-" Kadota placed a hand across her mouth, not letting her finish. "Karisawa, Ryuugamine is still in school."

The teen was blushing, figuring out what Erika was talking about. "Oi, what about me?" Kida pouted on the other desk. "You're as bad as Karisawa-san, when it comes to that subject." The teenage blond smiled at Mikado. "I know. We still have to get you laid, Mikado."

"Hmm, I'm going to find the camera." Kadota lowered his head to the desk. They watched as she got up from her desk, wandering around the room. "She's going to get in trouble." Shizuo kept an eye on her. "Tell me about it." Kadota let out a long sigh. "I'll bring her back." Shizuo went back to his work, noticing Seji glaring at him.

"I found it. It's in the corner. Come see, Shizu-chan." He let her lead him to the damn think, passing Seji's computer on the way, his eyes took in what was on the screen, before Seji, turned around and glared at him. He knew the teen was crazy, but what he had seen... "Shizu-chan. See it's up there." He followed her gaze, glancing up at the small black object. That was watching them?

Erika grabbed one of the chairs, attempting to stand on it. Shizuo grabbed her before she fell. "You want it down that badly?" The otaku nodded. Grabbing the piece of paper, Erika was going to use to cover it, he held it up over the camera. "Karisawa, don't tell anyone." Her eyes widened as he twisted his wrist, tightening his grip. Erika blinked, amazed as shards fell to the floor, the camera now in pieces. "That was... wow, you're like a manga character."

Shizuo checked no one was looking, dumping the remains in the bin. Now happy, Erika went back to her desk. Kadota raised an eyebrow at him. Shizuo said nothing, going back to his computer. Erika kept glancing at him, before squealing and going back to her work.

Lunch time came, Mikado and Kida disappearing again. Seji was transfixed with his computer screen, Erika glanced at him, before dragging Walker with her. "You have lunch today?" Kadota took out a small lunch box. "I have a pudding." He happily opened it, savouring the first mouthful. "You got rid of it, didn't you?" Shizuo nodded. "She wouldn't have left it alone."

They didn't say another word to each other. Shizuo finished his pudding, throwing the empty pot away. "I need a cigarette." Since he had missed his morning one, he felt agitated. Kadota nodded. "I'll try and keep Karisawa silent." The last thing they needed was her telling everyone.

Unfortunately he didn't get that far. "Shizu-chan, you're not on lunch?" Kadota's gaze met his, the other was feeling sorry for him. "Just going." Crimson eyes gazed, straight through him. "Then, you can help me with something." He knew then, he had lost his chance to escape. "One of the cameras have stopped working." Ah, fuck.

He followed Izaya, as the flea looked up at where the camera, should have been. His eyes widened briefly, before the smirk he was used to seeing was back. Don't notice. Izaya reached for the bin under the desk. Damn. He held the broken camera in his palm. "Did you see anything, Shizu-chan?" The blond shook his head. "If that's all, I'm going on my break." He left Izaya staring at the broken camera.

There was no way Izaya, would think it was him. Ugh, he really should think before he acted. He finished his cigarette, lighting up another one, to make up for the morning. This was getting to be a bad day. He ignored the vibrating in his pocket, letting it go to voice mail. Everyone else was assigned a ringtone. If it was silent it was either his mother or father. He couldn't deal with either of them right now.

He finished his cigarette, heading back up. Kadota shook his head, as soon as he saw him. He didn't realize it was a warning until Seji rushed at him. The blond stepped out of the way easily enough. "What's his problem?" Kadota sighed. "He's been fired. Izaya saw what was on his screen." The way Kadota shuddered, he knew he'd seen it as well.

Everyday, Seji had been watching what looked like a live feed of a teenage girl, tied up. The first thing he had noticed was the scar running across her neck. "You did this!" Shizuo held him off, easily enough. "If they take her away from me, I'll kill you!" Kadota stood up, trying to help, but Shizuo waved him away. He winced as he felt something dig into his leg. Stupid brat. He picked him up with ease, throwing him across the room.

"Damn it." He looked down at the pen sticking out of his leg. "Shizuo. Are you okay?" The blond nodded, knowing it would be a bitch to take out. "What? What happened here?" Tom had come out of his office. "Shizuo, you have a pen in your leg." When he heard the small static noise, he knew the day was going to get worse.

_Hello, my lovely humans. Shizuo Heiwajima from admin, please come to my office._

Fuck. Of all the stupid. He had only wanted to help Karisawa out. How did it come to this? "Go. I'll let the other's know where you went." His boss sounded angry at him. Without another word he headed for the lift, taking him up to Izaya's office.

It was the first time, he had ever been up here. It wasn't as crowded as the other departments. Reluctantly he knocked on the door, hearing screaming behind it. It was thrown open, Namie glaring at him as she barged past him. What was that about? "Shizu-chan, close the door." Ugh, alone with the flea.

"Did you know you have a pen, sticking out of your leg?" Shizuo ignored him looking around the room. Izaya's office was big. He sat behind his desk, a large window behind him. Shizuo could see from here, how good the view was. Along the wall to the side were a series of screens, one of them was black. That must be the cctv. There was a smaller desk, right by the door, which he guessed belonged to Namie.

"Shizu-chan. I told you, I don't like being ignored." He realised the flea was talking. "I know about the pen, I would have taken it out, but you called me up here." Izaya smirked at him. "That's the longest sentence, you've said to me." His point? He needed to see Shinra or at least get some bandages. "Can I go now?"

Did his smirk just get wider? "No, Shizu-chan. I'll talk about that in a minute. First, I want you to watch this." He had a really bad feeling, when Izaya pointed a control at the screens. It was even worse, when an image of his department came up. Izaya looked happy as he rewound it, showing his and Erika's backs. He looked away, as he saw his image reach up and tear the camera down, then throw it in the bin. "There are two in each room." Damn it.

"You're quite strong, aren't you Shizu-chan." Ignore him, stay calm. "Now the other thing, relates to the pen in your leg. I've had to fire Seji-kun, the police will want a word with him as well." Izaya leaned forward against the desk. "As you saw before, Namie-san wasn't happy with my decision. She's quit. So I need a new P.A until I employ someone." No. No way.

"Starting tomorrow, you are to report to me instead of Tom-san." Shizuo grit his teeth. "No way." Crimson eyes flashed. "No? You don't have a choice, Shizu-chan. You damaged company property and made me lose two employees. You do this or I fire you."

Damn it. He could work full time at Artic, but the less he worked there the better. It was dangerous. "Fine. But only until you find a replacement." He held back the words he wanted to say. "Good. Go to the hospital and get that sorted. See you tomorrow, Shizu-chan." Shizuo bit his lip, using everything he had to control his temper. He didn't reply as he let the door close behind him.

Damn it! Stupid crazy teen, stupid woman, stupid flea. Why should he have to be his P.A? He stormed into the lift, resisting the urge to smash it. He counted as he went down each floor. He would need to say goodbye to his work mates, at least for the time being. When he reached his floor, he had calmed down enough to talk.

"Shizu-chan. Are you okay? Wah! There's a pen in your leg." Erika hovered over him. "I knew that guy was crazy." Kida looked at his leg. "That looks like it hurts." Shizuo forced a smile. "Where did he go?" Mikado spoke up. "A woman came in and grabbed his arm. They left before the police got here." Wait the police? "I think he's going to be charged with kidnapping."

"Shizuo?" Kadota could tell something was wrong. "How did it go with Izaya?" He sighed, telling them the truth. "I have to work as his P.A until he gets a new one. Damn flea." Kadota sighed. "You'll be back though?" Shizuo nodded. "Yeah, I've got used to you guys." Erika smiled. "We like you too, Shizu-chan. We can still meet up at lunch."

If Izaya let him. He knew the flea, was going to make his life hell. "Shizu-chan. We were thinking of going out Friday night, to say good bye to Mikapon and Kida-kun. Do you want to come?" Friday he was working, he had promised his boss. "Sorry, I promised to help Kasuka out." Erika's smile faded. "Oh, well we're going to this club, called Artic, so if you change your mind."

Shizuo groaned inwardly, this day couldn't get any worse. "I'd pick somewhere else." They all glanced at him. "I've heard some bad rumours about that place. Most of them say, it's run by Yakuza." Which he was positive was true. Mikado paled. "Maybe somewhere else then?" Erika sighed, before nodding. There, one crisis avoided.

Erika jumped up hugging him. "We'll miss you, Shizu-chan." He gently patted her on the back. "I'll see you when I can." Kadota held his hand out. "Pass me your phone. If Izaya gives you any problems, we'll stick up for you." Shizuo was speechless as his phone went around all of them, putting their numbers in. "Our emails are there as well." Shizuo took his phone back. "Thanks."

He didn't bother with hospital. He went straight home, trying not to smash anything. A couple of signposts got trashed, but that was the only damage. He made it home, not bothering to see if Kasuka was there. He went straight to his room and threw his wardrobe against the wall. He ripped the door from it's hinges and threw that as well.

"Nii-san?" Kasuka came into the room, watching him smash everything. "What happened?" It was then that he noticed the pen. "Nii-san. There's a pen in your leg." Shizuo stopped and looked down. "I forgot about that. Reaching down, he yanked it out, feeling blood flow down his leg. "Can you get me a bandage." Kasuka nodded, hurrying to the first aid kit.

By then Shizuo was laying back on the bed, his trouser leg rolled up. "What happened, nii-san?" Kasuka started dabbing at the wound. "Sorry Kasuka, I can't talk about it now. I'll get angry." His brother nodded. "It's fine. Tell me when you feel like it." Shizuo let his eyes rest, dreading the next day.

Next:- The new P.A


	4. The new PA

**The new P.A**

_A/N:- Thank you so much for the reviews._

_Eman- I based the whole period thing on five people I knew,so I thought that was normal. But then again it is my family._

_The Fujoshi – I tried basing Mikado on the anime version. I agree with you about Kasuka, I've reserved that bit for when he's Shizuka._

_Yo- Shizuo doesn't have boobs. He's mainly male, but has the whole should I be a girl or a guy thing going on._

_I hope that answers everything so far and on with the story. Enjoy._

Shizuo groaned, yes he could hear the alarm ringing, but today there was no point in getting up. He wasn't in a working mood. What was the point in making sure he was early to avoid Izaya, If he was now stuck with him all day? Instead of smashing the thing, he burrowed under the covers, ignoring it.

"Nii-san, wake up. You're going to be late." Ah, Kasuka was trying to get him up. "If you're late won't you be in more trouble?" But facing the flea? Ugh. Letting out a long sigh, he reluctantly got out of bed, reaching for his cigarettes. "Where are you going nii-san?" The blond rubbed a hand through his hair. "I need a smoke."

He took his time showering and getting dressed, sitting down to eat breakfast with Kasuka. "Nii-san, stop stalling. You're going to be late." The blond groaned, he felt bad letting Kasuka wake him up and drag him out of bed. "I should still make it." Kasuka shook his head. "I'll give you a lift." Shizuo sighed, knowing how stubborn his younger brother could be.

He was already in a bad mood, knowing what was to come. If Izaya was going to be nice, he wouldn't have made him his damn P.A. No, this was another way for the flea to mess with him. Pulling the door open, he got into the passenger seat, pulling his seat belt across. Kasuka closed the door, starting the engine.

"Thank Kasuka, sorry. I'm trying to keep my temper under control." His brother nodded. "It's fine, does your wound hurt any more?" Shizuo shook his head. "Not really, I've had worse." Now the bit, that he really didn't like asking. "Could you pick me some tights? I need to cover it up." Kasuka kept his eyes on the road. "Shiki-san isn't going to be happy with you."

"I have a bad feeling, Karisawa will turn up Friday night." His brother's face was still expressionless. "Did you tell her it was run by yakuza?" Shizuo nodded. "Do you mind if I smoke?" Kasuka shook his head, rolling down the window. Shizuo lit up, inhaling much needed nicotine. "Karisawa, isn't the type to listen."

He had no idea, how it happened. He was running late, Kasuka pulled up the car, the same time Izaya arrived. "So that's Orihara-san?" Shizuo breathed out, taking another drag. "That's the flea." Kasuka stared through the window screen. "I don't like him. There's something about him. Be careful, nii-san."

"I will, see you later Kasuka." He unbuckled his seat belt, opening the door. "Nii-san, you should go and see Kishitani-san about your leg and call mum back." Shizuo climbed out of the car, he knew he wouldn't do either. Closing the door, he crouched so he could see his brother through the open window. "Drive safe, Kasuka." He stepped back, watching him drive away.

When he turned around, Izaya was out of the car watching him. "Good morning, Shizu-chan." Shizuo busied himself, finishing his cigarette. "You really have no manners. You should call me Orihara-san or would you prefer Orihara-sama?" He was still talking? Shizuo put his cigarette out, knowing he was out of time. They walked into the building together, this time he couldn't continue walking, to the safety of his own department.

"Ne, Shizu-chan. You remember the way, right?" Of course he did. He had dreaded every step, yesterday and it was the same today. He followed Izaya into the lift, which most people seemed to avoid. Izaya had a smirk on his face, he was like a kid at a candy store. Shizuo knew he would spend the day doing ridiculous errands.

He was doing a pretty good job at ignoring the flea. The doors opened, Izaya leading them out. He had expected to be put in his own office or the desk outside. No, he wasn't that lucky. Izaya opened the door to his large office, stopping at the desk in the corner. The one he had thought was Namie's desk. Great.

"This is where you will be working, Shizu-chan." In the same room as Izaya? Not a chance. "What about the desk outside?" The flea shook his head, crimson eyes gleaming. "There's a chance you might not hear me. Sit down, Shizu-chan." The small twitch in Izaya's lip, made him guess, he was pushing his luck.

Cursing the flea, crazy teenage brats and camera's, he sat down. The desk was slightly lower than his own, the computer was set, for a short person. It was still set up for Namie. "It'll have to do for now." So he had to sit at a desk, his legs barely fit under? So this was where it started. Finding a more comfortable position, he turned the computer on.

The password screen, came up. He tried his own, sighing when it was rejected. The computer still had Namie's details. He supposed he could ask the flea, but not after he tried everything first. He wasn't going to give him the satisfaction. If Izaya wanted to pick at his faults, he wouldn't have any.

He could feel the other's gaze on him. He was waiting for him to screw up. Glancing up, he watched Izaya reach for the speaker. Ugh, here goes the morning speech. Only this time he got to hear it live. "Good morning, my lovely humans. I hope you are having a good day. Work hard and if you have any problems, you can come and see me." Same old, everyone had probably memorised it word for word. He could see Kida, tilt his head, looking serious as he mimicked Izaya. "Or my new P.A Shizu-chan, who will be more than happy to help."

Son of a -. So now the whole company knew he was up here? He felt his phone, vibrate in his pocket. Risking a glance, he saw he had five new messages. All from his work mates. He quickly opened them. The first was from Erika. _Shizu-chan are you doing okay up there? Maybe you and Iza-Iza can get together now. _He was ignoring that one. He had one from Walker. _Good luck. _

Another from Mikado. _Do you want to meet up at lunch? _He smiled at that one, knowing he was still part of the team. The one from Kida, was offensive towards Izaya. He wondered where the teen learnt that kind of language. The last was from Kadota. _Have you hit him yet? You have to come at lunch. _

"Shizu-chan, no phones in office hours, unless your answering that one." He hadn't realised there was a telephone on his desk. He hated answering calls. He always scared the person on the other end. Shizuo slid the phone back into his pocket. At least he would be away from Izaya, during lunch.

He turned back to the computer, glaring at the login screen. Namie would have chosen her own password, the same as the rest of the staff. What did he know about her? Apart from the fact she hated him and spent every moment glaring at him. No, she was known for being a little too close to her brother. But then again being Izaya's P.A, would she really make her password that easy?

Shizuo typed in Seji's name and clicked login. The hour glass came up, showing he had got it right. He waited until the desktop came up, seeing a wallpaper of the teen. That would have to go. Opening Namie's emails, he tried to figure out what he was doing. "Everything okay, Shizu-chan?" Izaya was smirking at him, watching his every movement.

"If you need the login-" Shizuo cut him off. "I've already logged in." Something flashed across the flea's face, but it was too quick to see. "Not so stupid then, Shizu-chan." So what now? I'm not as dumb as you think. He went back to opening task documents and calendars. He was surprised to see , Namie did her job properly.

"Make me a coffee, Shizu-chan." He was busy concentrating. "Get it yourself." He found a pen and pad in the draw,he could do this. Tapping the pen against the pad, he started making notes. "What was that, Shizu-chan?" What was what? It was then he remembered.

"You're the P.A, you make the coffee. Now, Shizu-chan." Izaya was standing in front of the desk, with that piercing gaze. "Where's the kitchen?" The smirk was back. "Through there." He pointed at the opposite end of the room, returning to his desk. Shizuo made his way, out of the small area. "What do you drink?" Izaya glanced up at him. "Guess."

Damn flea. Guess? He couldn't just tell me? Fine, Izaya most likely liked his things bitter. It was the opposite of his over sweet personality. Shizuo stepped into the kitchen. It was neat and looked like it wasn't used often. The kettle was on the side already plugged in. He filled it up and let it boil. He opened the cupboard above him seeing a number of different cups.

Picking one, he made the coffee, deciding to put milk in. Once the water had boiled, he added it in, stirring. There one coffee. He brought it back to Izaya, placing it on his desk. The flea said nothing as he made his way to sit back down. "You made it in the wrong cup." Shizuo felt his breath stop. "Re-make it Shizu-chan." Seriously? Damn it. Stay calm.

"Which is your cup then?" He held back 'stupid flea.' Izaya opened his draw, taking out a normal china mug. "This one. Be careful, Shizu-chan. I don't want you to break it." Shizuo tried to calm his breathing as he took, both mugs back to the kitchen. He held them over the sink, pouring the coffee from one cup to the other. Bringing the correct one back to the flea.

"I can't drink it. You didn't wash the cup. Re-make it Shizu-chan." At least he hadn't waited until he got back to the small desk. Without arguing, he took the mug, resisting the urge to throw it over the flea. Shizuo filled up the kettle, boiling it again. Emptied the mug and washed it out, before making the coffee. Pouring in the water he stirred it and brought it back to Izaya.

If it had been Shizuka, the cup and kettle would have been thrown at him. But as it was he needed to keep their identities separate, meaning he didn't hold back when he was dressed as her. "Shizu-chan. I don't have milk in mine." Scratch that, she would have thrown him out of the large window. "Re-make it." He was getting sick of those words.

"Anything else wrong with it?" Izaya smirked up at him. "I see you're learning Shizu-chan. No, just the milk." He tried not to smash the cup in his grip, as he went back to the kitchen. Again he filled up the kettle, repeating it step by step. Stirring the now black coffee, he knew it was right. He was allowed a little payback. Opening the sugar pot, he dumped a large spoonful in, letting it sink to the bottom. He took it back to Izaya, placing it in front of him. "Is this one okay?"

He watched Mr god complex look into the cup, taking a small sip. "It's fine. Next time be a bit quicker, Shizu-chan." Shizuo grit his teeth, making his way back to the desk. He went back to organizing his own work, figuring out what he had to do. He didn't glance up as he heard Izaya splutter and cough. "Shizu-chan. You put sugar in it."

He didn't let the smile show on his face, he looked up at Izaya. "How do you have your coffee then?" Izaya sighed, it seemed like he was getting bored of this game as well. "Black, no sugar. Remake it." Shizuo nodded, taking the cup from the desk. From the corner of his eye, he watched Izaya go through his draw, looking for something to get rid of the taste.

Again he boiled the kettle, remaking it. But this time he didn't mind. It was completely worth it. He walked to his desk, giving the flea his coffee first. From what he had figured out. Namie took calls, made appointments, while doing anything else Izaya asked for.

The first thing he did was delete the disturbing notes, she had typed up about Seji. The next was to change the wallpaper. He found an image of a cute white kitten and saved it. Shizuo re-arranged the layout, so it was similar to his system. He was ready to go.

"Shizu-chan, I'm bored." Is this what Namie had to put up with? He hated to even think it, but he was starting to feel sorry for her. Shizuo ignored him. He could feel that gaze on him again. He heard sound coming from the wall beside him. Izaya was watching the cctv. "Shizu-chan, look, lets see what the admin department is up to."

Izaya pressed a button on the control, the bigger screen, showing his department. You couldn't see Tom's office, but the two tables were in perfect view. It looked like he had destroyed the wrong camera. Erika was excited again, swinging around in her chair. "_Come on, Dotachin." _Now he felt like he was spying on them. _"Shizuo said the club was run by yakuza, we should stay clear." _

This was how the conversations usually went. Erika would realize she couldn't get around Kadota and try everyone else. _"What about you, Mikapon?" _Shizuo sighed. Mikado was easily interested, he knew he would go along with Erika and Kida would join them. "That doesn't sound like work." Izaya was staring at the screen. _"What about you, Walker? You want to risk the big bad yakuza and come to Artic? It will be like a manga." _

He didn't continue listening. Walker would agree with Karisawa, as he always would. He either needed to convince them not to go, get out of work that day or put his acting skills to the test. Either way it seemed they would be meeting Shizuka. He glanced over at Izaya, who was still staring at the screen.

"Ne, Shizu-chan. Have you been to Artic before?" The blond looked over at him. Izaya's full attention was now on him. "No." Crimson eyes were trying to see through him. "Why did you tell them it was run by yakuza?" This was bad, his two lives were becoming dangerously close. "It was a rumour I heard. I was advised to stay clear of the place." Izaya nodded, looking back at the cctv. Was he happy with that answer? Did he believe him?

It was finally twelve o'clock. "I'm going on lunch now." Izaya smirked. "Said who?" No, he couldn't keep him up here. "My contract. I'll see you in an hour." Without another word, he let the door close behind him. This was his time.

He pulled out his phone, texting Kadota. Shizuo met them at the entrance, before they crossed to the café. "So, Shizu-chan. How was Iza-Iza?" Shizuo couldn't help scowl. "Annoying the same as his voice." Erika squealed. "But now you two-" She didn't get to finish the rest of her sentence. Kadota placed a hand over her mouth, while Kida dragged her forward. "Please, don't talk about that bastard. We're about to eat. However if you want to talk about women, then that's another story."

They gathered around the table, Kida next to Mikado, Erika next to Walker and Kadota next to him. "He made you make him coffee? And you didn't hit him?" Erika squealed loudly, making everyone turn to face her. "Oops. Dotachin did you know about Shizu-chan? His strength is amazing." Kadota lowered his head, sharing a glance with him. "Don't tell anyone Karisawa." Kadota nodded in agreement.

"You need to ask for a bigger desk. What if you hurt yourself, with all the bending?" Shizuo grabbed another chip from his plate. "It's only temporary. I think if I ask the flea for anything, it'll make it worse." Erika shuffled out from her space. "I need a milkshake. Anyone else?"

"Strawberry please." Erika took everyone else's orders and went to the counter. "There were two cameras." Kadota didn't seem surprised. "Izaya was watching us then?" Shizuo nodded. "They have sound as well. Karisawa is still planning on going Friday." Shizuo felt his phone in his pocket vibrate. It was his mother again. "You know what it's like stopping her."

Yes he did, which was another reason he didn't want her there. His phone stopped vibrating, he gave a sigh of relief. "Shizu-chan, Dotachin." Erika stood with a tray in her hand, handing them their milkshakes. "Thanks, Karisawa-san." Mikado took the milkshake from her. "I'm going to miss you guys." Erika placed the tray on the table, throwing her arms around the teen. "Mikapon is so cute."

Kida grinned. "Don't worry Mikado, if we can't get you laid, you'll always have Karisawa-san." Walker's eyebrow twitched, glancing between the two. Mikado blushed, while the younger blond laughed. "No, wait. You have Anri-chan." The blush deepened. Erika's eyes lit up. "Oh, you have a girlfriend?" Shizuo and Kadota let Erika tease him. At least she was focused on someone else.

The hour passed quickly and then lunch was over, all of them returning to their work stations. Shizuo stopped at the lift, while the others carried on walking. "Shizu-chan is finally back." He sighed as he closed the door. Hearing Izaya's voice made him feel irritated and tired at the same time. "Coffee, Shizu-chan." You have got to be kidding.

One made cup of coffee later, he was sitting at his desk, waiting for Izaya to moan about it. "Ne, Shizu-chan. Did you go to the hospital?" Why was he asking about it? "It's been dealt with." The flea looked like he was going to say something else. "What?" Izaya smirked. "We really need to teach you some manners, Shizu-chan."

"I'm bored, Shizu-chan." Ugh. He wasn't getting any work done. He had come to the conclusion, Izaya was an overgrown kid, with a god complex. "Do your work then, fl-" He quickly cut himself off before he finished the sentence. "Ne, Shizu-chan. Your strength..." Ah, trust Izaya to choose, such a touchy subject. "It's not like a normal human, maybe you're a monster."

"Is Shizu-chan a monster? That's why you destroyed my camera?" Forget it. Kadota and Kasuka would have to forgive him this one time. Izaya was sitting on the edge of the desk, looking straight through him. "What do you want? You damn flea?" Izaya's eyes widened slightly, before the usual smirk was back. "That's not nice, Shizu-chan."

"What did I tell you about names?" Shizuo grit his teeth. This was going to end badly. "What do you want? Flea-san." He heard laughter echo through his ears. Izaya was laughing at him. "You really are a protozoan, Shizu-chan." The flea leaned forward. "I told you I was bored, you wouldn't answer me." The blond glared up at him. "You piss me off. Why would I answer you?" Izaya stepped back, still smirking. "Is that so? Well I'm your boss, Shizu-chan. I didn't think you'd act like such a girl."

The flimsy restraint he had snapped. Unknowingly, Izaya had said the worst thing possible. He picked up the small desk, with the computer and phone still connected, the wires from each pulling tight. The damn flea was smiling. There was a loud crash, as the table hit the wall on the other side. While the computer and phone, dropped to the floor.

"Thanks, Shizu-chan. I needed to get rid of those. Your new ones will be here tomorrow. Wait. What? "If you need me to sign you up for anger management classes, let me know." Izaya relaxed at his desk, spinning his chair. "Once you've tidied up, you can leave for the day." He stood there speechless as Izaya stood back up. "I'm going to see what my lovely humans are doing. See you tomorrow, Shizu-chan." What...just happened?

Next:- Its temporary


	5. Its temporary

**Its temporary**

_A/N:- Thanks for the reviews. Next chapter will introduce Shizuka._

Shizuo made his way back home, trying to figure out what the damn flea was thinking. Of course that was impossible, Izaya was crazy. He had a feeling he had been manipulated. Usually he held back. Shizuka was the hothead, always lashing out.

But he had destroyed the desk, the computer and phone with it. He was sure the flea had been smiling. He wasn't scared of the blond, he didn't react how everyone else did. It was like he was a new toy. Izaya was messing with him. Still at least he would have a new higher desk tomorrow. He hoped.

His phone was vibrating in his pocket. He knew he couldn't avoid her forever. "Hello mother." The woman on the other end sighed. _Shizuka, why haven't you been answering your phone? _Maybe when she accepted both halves of him. "I was busy with work." Another sigh. _You could have called back. Never mind, I've made you an appointment for Saturday at ten o'clock. _

There she goes again, trying to take control of Shizuka. "Thanks mother. I have to go." He didn't regret hanging up on her. He'd been lucky this week. His father hadn't called to take him to the gym or bars, to help make him manlier.

"I'm back." He unlocked the door, finding Kasuka cleaning the kitchen. "Nii-san, you're home early again?" His brother still had his expressionless face, but he felt like the other was glaring at him. "What happened?" Shizuo closed the door behind him. "I lost my temper and threw a desk at the flea."

"Did he fire you?" The blond shook his head. "No. He said he needed to get rid of the desk and I would have a new one tomorrow." He leaned back against the sofa. "Ugh, I hate the damn flea." Kasuka left the cloth on the table, sitting next to him. "You can't quit, nii-san." Yeah, he knew that. He liked working with the others. The problem was Izaya.

"How's your wound?" Ah. "It's fine. It'll heal on its own. I spoke to our mother." Kasuka waited for him to continue. "What did she say?" Shizuo sighed. "She has made an appointment for Shizuka on Saturday." Kasuka nodded. "She hasn't changed then. Roll up your trousers, I'll redress it."

Reluctantly he did as he was told, he had lied to Kasuka, he hadn't checked it. The old bandage was still on. His brother came back with the first aid kit. He didn't say a word as he unravelled the bandage, cleaning and redressing it. "You should have gone to Kishitani-san, nii-san." Shizuo nodded guiltily, rolling his trouser leg down.

"Since you're home so early, you can help me make dinner." Shizuo agreed, going to the kitchen. "What do you need?" He opened the cupboard taking out. "I was thinking of making curry." The blond smiled, finding the ingredients as Kasuka said them.

"And that's the curry blocks. I didn't know you brought so much." Kasuka nodded, grabbing a knife. "I brought plenty, last time I went. You should learn to cook, nii-san." His brother was right again, when Kasuka wasn't there he usually had anything from a convenience store or just had extra for lunch.

Kasuka handed him a knife. "You can peel the potatoes. Be careful." As his first attempt he didn't do too badly. He didn't cut himself and he still had all of his fingers. By the time he had finished peeling them and cutting them into cubes, Kasuka had done everything else. "Now we let it boil. Thanks for your help, nii-san." Help? He didn't do anything.

Shizuo sat down on the sofa, turning on the television. He flicked though the channels, stopping when he came to a martial arts film. "When are you leaving?" He glanced over, waiting for Kasuka to answer. "Saturday night. I need to be at the hotel Sunday morning." The blond nodded, turning his attention back to the film.

"It's done, nii-san." Shizuo turned the tv off, moving to table in the kitchen. He sat down, as Kasuka placed the plate in front of him. "I'll still be here to help you with Shizuka." The blond nodded. "I can't stop them, they'll see me as Shizuka Friday night." Kasuka sat down opposite him.

"Trust your acting skills. As far as everyone knows, you and Shizuka are two different people." Shizuo nodded, digging in to his food. "I know, but we've gotten close. If I make a single mistake, they'll pick it up." Kasuka looked up from his plate. "You trust them. I'm glad nii-san."

They spent the rest of the evening together on the sofa. Shizuo listened to Kasuka, talk about his new role. After he had finished, they went over Shizuo's role as Shizuka. Together they had made sure the two were different.

Shizuo groaned as the alarm went off, today he would face Izaya again. He would have a new desk. "Good morning, nii-san. Breakfast is on the table. The blond nodded, pulling himself out of bed and heading for the shower. Bring it on flea. He wasn't playing any games.

He was out of the door and on his way. Shizuo pulled a cigarette out of the packet, putting it between his lips as he lit it. He would be smoking a lot today, his last one would be tomorrow. Shizuka didn't smoke. Every weekend he didn't touch a single cigarette. That probably explained the temper.

Again, he got to the entrance as the flea pulled up in his car. He had managed to arrive at a different time every day. So why was he still seeing him? He had a horrible thought, that maybe Izaya had him bugged. Would he go that far for his precious humans? From what he had seen so far, most likely.

"Good morning, Shizu-chan." He nodded his head briefly, lighting up another cigarette. Izaya crinkled his nose. "You should give that up." Shizuo sighed. The flea was still standing next to him. "What?" Izaya shook his head. "Manners, Shizu-chan. I'm waiting for my P.A." He glanced at his cigarette. Tough. He needed all the nicotine he could get.

Once he finished, he thought about lighting another one. The flea was still there, so he returned the packet to his pocket. He followed Izaya to the lift and up to his office. "Ne, Shizu-chan. Your new workstation is set up." Already?"Don't break it this time."

The desk was in the same place as the old one, so he still was stuck in the same room as Izaya. It was the same height as his one. The computer looked like an upgraded version of his old one, there was still a telephone on the desk. Ugh, he still had to answer it then. "But first, coffee Shizu-chan."

The blond stepped past him, grabbing the cup from Izaya's desk. While he was making the coffee, he couldn't hear the morning announcement, over the kettle boiling. He made it properly, taking the cup to Izaya's desk. "If it was a repeat of yesterday, he didn't have a problem."

He sat down on his new chair, turning on the computer. Everything had already been set up for him. "Your login has been set up, Shizu-chan." He could see his login as ShizuoH. If it was set up by Izaya he could guess the password. He tried Shizu-chan. That didn't work. What else did he call him? Protozoan? Nope. "The password is monster." Shizuo grit his teeth. Entering it in.

Once it had loaded, he opened up the emails. Nothing. The email address was shizuoh . All of Namie's things were gone. He was starting from scratch. Everything he had done yesterday was pointless. Damn flea.

Izaya was fiddling with the cctv again. He watched his own department. Surprised to see only one desk now there. The desks had been rearranged so Kida and Walker were with the others. His computer and space were gone. "Oi, flea." Crimson eyes met his. "Manners, Shizu-chan." He ignored him. "Where's my desk? You said this was temporary."

"I can see my lovely humans better this way." That didn't answer his question. "You really are silly, Shizu-chan. After next week, Masaomi-kun and Mikado-kun, won't be here." Shizuo nodded. "When is the first interview?" Yes, he was trying to have a decent conversation with the flea. It was only to see when he would be back with his team.

Izaya rested his chin on his hand. "I haven't sent the job description out yet." So while the flea was wasting time, he was stuck as Namie's replacement? He locked the computer, standing up. "Where are you going, Shizu-chan?" The blond shrugged. "Cigarette break."

He made the long trek, to the ground floor. Lighting up as soon as he was out of the building. He knew he was too reliant on them, but he hadn't found another way to control his temper and lollipops didn't work. Shizuo smoked it, as far as it would go, before putting it out. He had a packet of twenty, so after today that was it.

"It's really rude, Shizu-chan. Bringing that smell into my office." Shizuo shook his head, sitting back down. "If you don't like it, hurry up and hire someone." Izaya interlaced his fingers, spinning around in his chair. "You really are a monster, Shizu-chan. Not like my lovely humans at all." The blond went back to his computer.

"Do you have any appointments I need to add?" Izaya leaned back. "No, I make my own appointments." Then why was he here? "Then what do you want me to do?" Izaya glanced at his empty cup. "You can make coffee." Shizuo sighed. Stay calm, he's doing it on purpose. "Anything else? What did that woman do?"

"Namie? She stopped me getting bored." Now he got it, he was up here as entertainment for the damn flea. "Other the than coffee anything else?" Izaya smirked. "Answer your emails and the phone calls. It should be simple, Shizu-chan."

One coffee later, no emails and no phone calls. He could feel Izaya watching him. Was that his new game? Making him snap from boredom? He smiled when he finally got an email. He recognized it as Kadota's email address. _How are you holding up? _Now how was he supposed to answer that? _I'll tell you later. _

"Do you want me to write the job description?" The quicker it was done, the quicker he was back downstairs. "Is Shizu-chan bored?" Izaya stepped from behind his desk. "All of Namie's emails were redirected to you." The flea came up behind him, grabbing the mouse from his grip. "Oops, looks like they were filed away."

Shizuo grit his teeth as Izaya clicked on a blank folder, all of the emails were stored there. All forty three of them. "You're running behind, Shizu-chan." And whose fault was that? Damn it. Izaya went back to his own desk. Shizuo opened the first email.

He focused on getting rid of them. Any appointments he added to the calendar. If he didn't know what it was about, he forwarded it to the flea. Since he didn't look like he was doing anything. Thankfully the phone hadn't rung yet. Shizuo wasn't sure how much time had gone by. He had managed to get down to twenty two. "Coffee, Shizu-chan. I'm going to see my lovely humans." Izaya walked by his desk, leaving the office.

Shizuo let out a sigh of relief, letting himself relax, head on the desk. It was nearly lunch time and he hadn't lost his temper, he hadn't thrown anything. He had done his work, there was nothing the flea could fault him for. And then the phone rang. After the third ring he picked it up. "Good morning TGOI." He hated phones.

_That was horrible, Shizu-chan. _Izaya was testing him. _You need to be happier, can monsters be happy? _The great thing about phone calls is you can hang up. He felt satisfied as he put the phone back, cutting the call. If the flea said anything he was busy making him a coffee.

As soon as the time changed to twelve o'clock on his computer, he locked his computer, leaving the office. Everyone was waiting for him at the entrance. "Shizu-chan. I miss you." Erika threw her arms around him. "Any better?" Kodota was walking beside him. "I threw my desk at him yesterday." The other shook his head. "You didn't hit him then? He's been bothering us for the past hour.

"I think he's okay." Kida stared at Mikado as if he had grown another head. "He's a jerk, I don't see how anyone can like him." The black haired teen shrugged. "Stay away from him Mikapon." He didn't need to say anything as they crossed. "Can we get something other than chips?" Walker rarely spoke up. "Cheese burger?"

"Are you sure you can't come tomorrow? Erika was back to persuading him. "Come on, Shizu-chan." He shook his head, taking a sip of his milkshake. "Sorry Karisawa, I promised Kasuka." Erika lowered her head. "You have to come to the next one though." She was back to her usual self. Shizuo nodded. "Let me know when it will be."

"Where should we meet up? I want to get changed first." Now he felt left out, they were definitely going, he had failed to change their minds. Not to mention Kida and Mikado were both under age. Either way he was going to have a night of chaos on Friday. He glanced at his phone seeing the time. Thinking about chaos, he still had the rest of the afternoon with Izaya.

Next:- Welcome to Artic


	6. Welcome to Artic

**Welcome to Artic**

_A/N:- Thank you for the reviews. Since I don't wear make-up or wigs, I did this by google and wiki. Enjoy._

The rest of the day went by quickly, he found Ignoring Izaya was the best way, unless the other got too annoying, trying to mess with him. There were now finger marks pressed into the wood of his desk. The constant smoking breaks helped.

But his mind was on other things. Mainly his two lives colliding, the chances of his work colleagues finding out about him and Shizuka being the same person. It was his own acting he doubted, after all Kasuka had made everything perfect. He had given Shizuka her own identity, her own background. There had been no mistakes, his brother had made sure of it.

"Shizu-chan. You can leave now." He hadn't realized the time. He had managed his first full day as the flea's P.A. He quickly logged off, shutting his computer down. "See you tomorrow, Shizu-chan." The blond grudgingly nodded, heading out of the door.

He smoked two cigarettes on the way home, looking at the two left in the packet, they were all he had left. "I'm back." Kasuka was finishing laying the table. "Welcome home, nii-san. You didn't leave early?" Shizuo closed the door behind him, heading towards the table. "No, I ignored him like you said." He sat down, grabbing his knife and fork.

"So you didn't hit him then?" Shizuo shook his head. "There's a few marks in my desk, but I didn't touch the flea." Kasuka nodded. "Are you going to work tomorrow?" That one was still undecided, it took a long time to get Shizuka ready. "I was going to." His brother waited for him to continue. "I think it would be better if I didn't. Shizuka needs to be perfect."

Kasuka stared at him, a moment before nodding in agreement. "I'll help. Do you want to do it now or tomorrow?" Shizuo finished his mouthful. "Tomorrow morning." His brother nodded, turning to his own food. "Don't worry, nii-san. You've been doing this for years." The blond nodded, still feeling nervous.

He spent the rest of the evening with Kasuka, watching one of his brother's films. Before he went to bed, he made sure to smoke his last two cigarettes. Taking his phone out, Shizuo scrolled down his list of contacts, selecting Kadota. The other picked up on the second ring. _Shizuo? _He didn't sound like he had disturbed him. "I thought it would be better to call you." There was a small pause on the other end.

_What do you need? _Shizuo smiled. "Can you let Izaya know I won't be in tomorrow?" He heard Kadota sigh. _What reason do I tell him? _The blond paused. What excuse did he give. If he said he was sick, the other's might come over and check. "Something urgent came up, with my family." He could imagine Kadota nodding in understanding.

Shizuo had lost count, at the amount of times Kadota was there when his parents called. _I'll let him know. If you're lucky he won't say anything during the morning announcement. _No, he would wait until he was back in on Monday. "Thanks Kadota." He knew the other would make up a better excuse if needed. _Good luck, Shizuo. _He was smiling as he ended the call. It felt good that he had other people he could trust.

He undressed, putting his work clothes in the laundry, his empty cigarette packet in the bin. Shizuo switched off his phone, since it wasn't needed, leaving it on the table. He slid under the covers, closing his eyes. No one apart from Kasuka would see him until Monday.

His alarm rang, letting him know it was time to get up. Now came the annoying part. Shizuo left his room, going into Kasuka's one. His brother was already awake. The blond avoided looking in the mirror, opening the first draw. The first draw was full of underwear and anything else he would need as Shizuka. The second had his uniforms in and the last one had his casual clothes. Women's shoes ran along the front of the chest.

Shizuo rummaged through, selecting the pair of panties, that would constrict him uncomfortably for the whole day. He picked up one of the razors, there was no chance in hell, he was waxing again. Grabbing the towel, he headed for the bathroom.

He washed quickly, gliding the razor over his legs, this was what he hated about becoming Shizuka. The amount of time he had to spend on his body. Yes he was mainly male, the only difference was the extra hole. Except that his waist was slim, as were his legs. He had first noticed the differences in the changing room, which is why he made every excuse to get out of physical education.

His work clothes were fitted, so they made him looked slightly wider and more muscular. His work jacket covered any sign, that he was thin. The same with his trousers, they were made so his legs looked bigger. Not forgetting his shoes were a size bigger than they needed to be.

He grimaced as he had to run his hand close to his leg. He made sure they were hairless, before doing his under arms. Once he had washed his hair, he stepped out of the shower, grabbing the smaller towel, he had brought with him. He scrubbed his hair dry, reaching for the bigger towel, to dry himself with.

Kasuka was waiting for him in his bedroom. Shizuo walked in a towel wrapped around his waist, getting used to the way the silk dug into him. "I brought something to help cover up that wound." The one he had been ignoring. Hmm, he might of grazed over it with the razor. "You'll have to do this again yourself, nii-san."

Shizuo nodded, making sure his hair was dry. "I've been watching you, I know how to to it." Kasuka stared down at him, his face expressionless. "Did you use moisturiser?" The blond looked away. "You need to accept your body, nii-san." He watched as his brother left the room, returning with the bottle of lotion.

"Put your leg out." Shizuo did as he was told, taking off the towel and keeping it on his lap. Kasuka was the only one who could touch him, without him feeling disgusted. He watched as his brother squeezed the lotion from the bottle, massaging it into his leg and soothing any irritation. "There's nothing wrong with you, nii-san."

No, just the way he looked and felt. Kasuka ran his fingers over the healing wound. Surprisingly he didn't say anything, moving onto his other leg. Once he was done, Kasuka clicked the cap on, putting the bottle to one side.

Kasuka placed another plaster over the wound. Instead of the usual bandages, he started wrapping black cloth around it. "The white might show through." That was true. He was lucky his brother was an actor. Anything his brother showed him, had been learnt watching his make-up artist.

His uniform had been laid out on the bed. Reaching over, he grabbed the newest item to his uniform. Kasuka moved away, letting him put them on. Shizuo rolled them up his legs, standing up, so they were at his waist. He looked down, seeing if the bandage showed through. Luckily it didn't.

"Do you want me to do your make-up first? Nii-san."

Shizuo nodded. "It was less messier." Kasuka pulled up the chair, he kept in his room, placing the make-up kit on the bed. He held back Shizuo's hair, pining it back in place. "Close your eyes, nii-san." He knew what Kasuka was doing, his brother had talked him through it step by step, so he could do it himself. First was foundation primer, he felt Kasuka, smoothing it into his skin. Next was the foundation. Thanks to the make-up artist, the colours suited him perfectly.

Kasuka's fingers stopped past his throat. He felt another brush all over his face. "You remember all the steps, right nii-san?" Shizuo gave a small nod, not wanting to disturb his brother. He could tell Kasuka was putting on the blusher. "You can open your eyes now."

This was the bit he hated, when he did his eyes, he always pressed down too hard. Kasuka did it perfectly, tilting his chin up. "Close your eyes again." Something pressed lightly against his eyelid, once it was done, his brother moved onto the next and then it would be that damn lash curler.

"Open your eyes, nii-san." Kasuka ran his thumb against his lip, he reached for the pencil, doing the outline. "Light or dark?" Since he had gone for dark last time. "Light." He watched his brother pick up the lighter pink lipstick, moving it over his lips. "Done. Here nii-san." Shizuo took the sheet of tissue, folding it, so he could dab at his lips.

Next was his chest. He wore a specially made bra, that mad it look like he had real boobs and a cleavage. Kasuka held it out to him,so he could put his arms through. "I could get them made bigger." Shizuo shook his head. "This is fine, I don't want to feel top heavy." And he didn't need the extra attention. He reached behind him, still struggling to clip it up. Kasuka reached around, doing it for him.

The last bit, was the wig. Which of course he always managed to mess up. He let Kasuka pin his hair to his head, reaching for the wig cap. It still felt weird as it was pulled over his head. "Almost done nii-san." Kasuka opened his wardrobe, taking out the head stand on the top shelf. The hairstyle had taken the longest, Shizuo couldn't decide, how he wanted it.

The wig was long and blond. Shizuo bent his head forward, as Kasuka put it on. It looked and felt real, a few bits sticking up, a messy fringe and the way it settled on his shoulders. "You can get dressed now, nee-san." It was finished. He was now Shizuka.

Kasuka left her to get dressed on her own. She pulled the shirt on, starting to button it up. Her clothes were all fitted, made to cling to her figure. Once she had done the last button up, she slipped on the waist coat and bow tie, doing that up as well. The skirt was loose at the top, cutting off just above her knees. Shizuka glanced over at her shoes deciding which ones to wear. She picked her black strapped high heels. They fit her feet perfectly.

She ran a hand through her hair, trying to smooth it down. Now, she had to fool everyone else. She walked over to the chest of draws with ease, after years of practice, opening the first draw. Shizuo smoked, she had her lollipops. She took two from the packet, sliding them into her pocket. Shizuka went to close the draw and stopped.

Changing her mind, she took the whole packet, going to find Kasuka. "How do I look." She spun in half circle, waiting for his comments. "You look perfect, nee-san. Do you want a drink?" Shizuka nodded, unwrapping her lollipop. "I'll have milk." Though she tried to keep everything different, the one thing that would stay the same was her sweet tooth and love of dairy products.

She happily drank her glass of milk, sitting next to Kasuka. "What time do you start work?" Shizuka put her glass down, she was always expected to turn up at different times. "He wants me there at six. Vorona is on holiday." Meaning she would have to do most of the work. "Do you want to go out for lunch?"

As Shizuka she didn't have a problem, hanging around with him. Her whole identity was originally based on being his alter ego's sister. Kasuka nodded. "We could go to that bakery you like." The blonde went back to Kasuka's bedroom. Taking her bag down. It was a small, plain black over the shoulder bag, that held everything she needed.

It had her phone in. Both she and Shizuo had phones. The only ones that had both numbers were Kasuka, his parents and Shiki. Shizuka folded the packet of lollipops, putting them in the bottom of the bag. "Can we go now?" It was hard to tell who was younger and who was older.

As Shizuka she could be a clingy brat, a volatile hothead, with a very short temper. She didn't accept excuses, if someone had a go at her, out they went, no questions asked. "It's nearly twelve. Let's go nee-san." She checked she had enough money, following Kasuka out of the door. The blonde held on tight to his hand. What she lacked when she was Shizuo, she made up for as Shizuka. That included showing her brother affection.

Shizuka would have preferred to walk, but Kasuka insisted on driving. Opening the door, she climbed inside, strapping herself in. "Do you know what you want yet, nee-san?" The blonde rested against the window. "Maybe strawberry cheese cake. No I had that last time. I'll see when we get there." Kasuka nodded, starting the engine.

Shizuka waited while her brother ordered. In the end she had asked him to pick. Kasuka came back, placing it in front of her. "Chocolate eclair, with extra cream." She was glad he had picked. "Nee-san, I got you something to help." She held out her palm, as he dropped silver into it. He had brought her jewellery.

The first was a simple, heart shaped locket. She gently opened it, seeing what Kasuka had done. Inside was a photo of the three of them. Her, Kasuka and Shizuo. A large black mark crossed him out. That was part of her story. She was Yuuhei Hanejima's older sister. But for everyone who knew he was Kasuka, she was Shizuka Heiwajima, sister to Kasuka and Shizuo.

The photo was photo shopped, adding her in, so it looked like they were separate people. Shizuka and Shizuo were never seen together, since they had a fierce sibling rivalry. It was perfect. Kasuka stepped behind her, holding her hair back as did the clip up. The second was a simple chain like watch. "In case your phone dies." She smiled up at him. "Thanks Kasuka."

"Did I pick right?" Shizuka nodded. "Tastes so good." Kasuka nodded, biting into his own. "When we get back, I'll do your nails for you, nee-san." The blond looked down at her blunt nails. "Can you do them silver?"

At five, she started making her way to the club. Shiki wouldn't be happy if she was late. Shizuka had only just realized, if Shizuo had gone to work, she would have never made it on time and everything would be over.

She stopped outside the building, that had 'Artic' in large silver letters. No one was guarding the door. It looked like she was early. Swirling the lollipop in her mouth, Shizuka made her way down the stairs and opened the door. There were two floors to Artic, joined by a silver, spiral staircase. Everything was either light blue or silver. In front of her was the bar, a large area, the wood curving to form a messed up semi-cirle. Behind it were the bottles of alcohol. On one side of the room were tables with four stools on each one. On the other side, there were smart leather sofas. Along the bar, there were seven stools spaced out around it. On the floor above her was a large dance floor.

She drummed her newly done nails against the counter top, no one was in yet. Well maybe Shiki was, but he would be in one of his meetings. She still thought he was yakuza. Shizuka, lifted the panel up, stepping behind the bar. She had to get set up, see who Vorona's replacement was. Then there was whether Shizuo's work colleagues would turn up. She glanced around, looking at the empty club, that would soon be full and noisy.

Next:- Acting and deception


	7. Acting and deception

**Acting and deception**

It had taken her years to become who she was now. She had learnt how to do her make-up from Kasuka, he had practically taught her everything. The one thing she had managed to perfect was her voice. As she grew up, she constantly changed her voice, when she was dressed as a girl. Singing songs by female singers helped, gradually her voice settled into a pitch she was happy with, she could now easily switch between the two voices.

Shizuka leaned against the bar, swirling her lollipop in her mouth. No one was here yet, surprisingly she was on her own. She bit down, breaking the candy and throwing the stick away. Reaching into her bag, she took another one out unwrapping it, this one was strawberry.

The door at the side of the bar opened and as expected her boss came out. "Hanejima Shizuka." She still said he was yakuza. She had her temper and strength, but the man in front of her scared her. Shiki was a stern looking man, wearing a dark grey shirt and a white suit jacket, with a gold chain around his neck.

He was polite to every one, she had heard him speak to, but the icy aura around him never disappeared, she could admit he was intimidating. Behind him stood his two bodyguards, that always seemed to follow him around. Which had made her think he wasn't normal. Even her brother didn't have any.

"Shiki-san." He was one of the ones,she made sure to be polite to. "Has Vorona's replacement been sorted?" Shiki gave her a peaceful smile, she was torn between relaxing and running. "Akabayashi, will bring her in shortly." She nodded, as he walked past her. Once he was gone, she relaxed.

Shizuka started to get ready for opening. She checked everything was stocked up, so there wouldn't be a rush when she started. Next, she checked all the glasses were clean and started to stack them, so they were easy to grab. Still she was the only one there. Getting slightly bored, she went to clean the tables, making sure everything was tidy.

An hour later, she was back to leaning against the bar, as Akabayashi finally walked in. He looked older than Shiki, a scar going vertically down his right eye. He moved like he didn't have a care in the world. As usual, he was wearing his black suit, with a red shirt. In his hand he held what she thought was a hand crafted cane.

Everyone that worked in Artic was completely different. Shiki was polite and intimidating, Akabayashi was relaxed and laid back. She was short tempered and hot headed and then there was Vorona. Vorona was Russian, as far as she knew. She was nice enough, but she had a habit of talking in robotic sounding sentences.

"Ah, Hanejima no nee-chan." Akayabashi smiled over the counter. "Miss Beautiful isn't in today?" Shizuka shook her head, he was asking about Vorona. "I brought some one to help." The blonde turned her attention to the teenage girl, standing beside him. She had short black hair, glasses and she was well endowed, a lot bigger than she was. She wore a pink dress, with a black vest over the top.

"This is Anri-chan." She could tell in his voice how much he cared about her. Which didn't make sense, this was a bar, where dangerous things happened and she looked under-age. The teen bowed slightly in front of her. "Pleased to meet you, Hanejima-san." Shizuka nodded, suddenly feeling awkward. "It's Shizuka."

"You stay here, Anri-chan." Shizuka watched as Akabayashi made his way to find Shiki. The teen stood there head lowered, staring at her shoes. Shizuka reached into her bag. "Lollipop?" Anri was silent, shaking her head. Hurry back Vorona.

"How old are you?" The teen finally looked up at her. "Sixteen." The same age as Ryugamine and Kida. "Since you're under-age, you can make sure the tables are cleared." While she would stay behind the bar, serving everyone. "Okay." She received a nod from the girl.

After showing the girl, where everything was and making sure she hadn't forgotten anything, she opened the door, flipping the sign to open. Artic was now open for the evening. Music blasted from the upper floor, before it went down in volume. Surprisingly Akabayashi was the one who dealt with the sound system.

The girl, what was her name? Ah, that was the biggest problem she had. She could disguise herself, change her attitude, but she couldn't do a thing about her terrible memory when it came to remembering names. Oh well, she would listen to someone else say it, she was sure it began with an A.

The first few customers came in, coming up to the bar. Shizuka looked them over. They were all middle aged, looking like they had just come from work. She drummed her nails against the bar, waiting for them to order. "Three Carlings." She nodded, reaching for the glasses. She held the first under the correct pump, pulling the lever. She did the same with the other two, placing them on the counter. They paid, going to one of the tables.

The more time that passed the busier they got. She pulled pints and made cocktails, while the girl went around collecting glasses and cleaning the tables. She relaxed into her focused state. She pulled another lollipop out of her bag, unwrapping it and popping it into her mouth. The girl passed the bar, holding an empty tray of glasses.

The door opened again, making her breath catch in her throat. Here we go. Kadota walked in first, then Mikado and Kida, followed by Erika and Walker. Kadota was the first to notice her, pausing to stare at her. She did nothing, drumming her nails on the counter. "Heiwajima-san?" Kida had noticed her. The younger blond stared at her, before shaking his head. "Ah, sorry. You look like someone we know."

Shizuka raised an eyebrow. "Oh, who?" Mikado looked up at her. "Our work collegue, Shizuo Heiwajima." The blonde stopped tapping, twirling the lollipop. "That's a man's name. Are you saying I'm a man?" Kida stepped back. "Of course not my princess, you are the most beautiful woman, I have ever seen." Shizuka grinned leaning forward. "And you're under-aged."

Erika was staring at her now. "What's your name?" The blond shrugged. "Shizuka Hanejima." The otaku nodded. "Another Shizu-chan. No. wait. You can be Shizu-Shizu." She squealed, throwing her arms around Walker. "You really look alike. You should meet Shizu-chan." Shizuka watched as she pulled a phone out, dialling Shizuo's number.

"Hey, Shizu-chan. We just met someone who looks like you. Call me back. Bye." She hung up. "It went to voice mail. "Can I take a picture?" Shizuka froze. What did she do now? Luckily their attention was diverted. Mikado and Kida, looked in shock at the girl who had returned from the kitchen. "Sonohara-san?" Oh? So they knew her. "What are you dong here, Anri-chan?"

Anri Sonohara, she needed to remember the girl's name. "Mikado-kun, Kida-kun." Erika's eyes lit up, her eyes running over the teen. "It's a love triangle. Ah, I need some paper and a pen." She squealed as she glanced over the three teens. Anri blushed, looking back down at her feet. Mikado knew what Erika was like, but blushed anyway. Kida put his hands behind his head. "You're embarrassing them, Karisawa-san."

The attention was now away from her, focused on the three teenagers. When she glanced up, she noticed Kadota staring at her again. Was it just her or was his face redder than usual. "What can I get you?" Kadota shook his head. "I'll have a pint." Shizuka smiled at him. "Of?" She had never seen him flustered before.

Unfortunately, instead of going to a separate table, the group had decided to sit on the stools in front of the bar. Mikado was conscious of Ari, was it? The teen's eyes following her around the room. Erika had found some paper and was writing furiously, Walker was next to her, offering suggestions. While Kida was hopelessly trying to flirt with every girl he saw, including her.

"Um, Hanejima-san." Shizuka turned to Mikado. "Yes?" He teen's face was full of worry. "I think, Sonohara-san is in trouble." She followed where he was looking, seeing the girl at one of the tables, silver tray, held against herself. By the looks of it, she was trying to collect the glasses from that table. Her eye twitched as one of the customers, touched the girl's butt. "I'll handle it."

She was the reason, they didn't have any bouncers. Both she and Vorona could handle themselves. She lifted the wooden panel up, stepping from behind the door. Shizuka stormed towards the table. One second the group were laughing, the next they were picked up, one by one and thrown through the open door. She didn't know how far she threw them and she didn't care.

"Are you okay?" She stared down at girl. "Thank you, Hanejima-san." Shizuka nodded. "Do you want to continue?" She didn't want to deal with Shiki and Akabayashi if anything happened. "I'll be fine." The blonde made her way back to the bar, ignoring the gawking customer. Erika was squealing again. "Just like Shizu-chan."

Mikado and Kida left their seats, staying with the teen. As long as someone was looking after her. Kadota narrowed his eyes. "Are you related to Shizuo?" He always was sharp. This grabbed the otaku's attention. "I'm Kasuka's sister." Kadota nodded slightly. "So, your name is Shizuka Heiwajima then?" Grudgingly she nodded. "I prefer Hanejima."

He watched Kadota visibly relax. "We're your brother's work mates." Shizuka cracked the candy between her teeth. "Nice to meet you, but me and my brother don't get along." She watched Kadota's expression flicker, before he was back to normal. "So, Shizu-Shizu has super strength as well?" She opened her mouth to answer, but was cut off by Erika's squealing.

She went back to serving drinks, watching Erika scribble over the sheet of paper, moving onto the next one. So far so good, she had fooled the people she had been with for years. "Do you want to be friends?" She glanced over at Kadota. Had he really said that? Things would be complicated. Her one rules, was to keep the two lives separate.

The group stayed for another hour, before they left. Shizuka had all their numbers on her phone and they had hers. She cared for them. Shoving another lolly in her mouth, she checked on Anri. She had finally remembered her name. Before the night was over, she would throw a few more people out.

"Hanejima Shizuka." She glanced up from the bar as her boss walked over to her. "You can leave for the evening, thank you for your work." Her gaze went to Anri. "Don't worry, she will be safe." It was weird how easy Shiki could read her. "I'll see you tomorrow, Shiki-san."

Shizuka waited outside of the club, sucking on her current lollipop. She never walked home on her own. Kasuka always came to pick her up. She smiled as his car pulled up. "Hello, nee-san." The blonde opened the door, climbing in. She rested her head on her brother's shoulder. Kasuka gently patted her head. "Did it go okay?"

Shizuka nodded, pulling herself away. "They believed I was a girl. We're now friends." She placed her hand over her mouth, as she yawned. "Go to sleep, nee-san. I'll wake you." Nodding, she closed her eyes, resting against the window.

Kasuka gently shook her, when the car stopped. "Nee-san. We're here." Shizuka stretched, following him to the apartment. "Do you want anything to eat?" She shook her head, all she wanted to do was sleep. The blonde, made her way to Kasuka's bedroom, sitting on the bed. She slipped the bag off her shoulder, waiting for him to come in.

Minutes later he came in, holding the facial wipes. His fingers brushed back her hair, as he cleared the make-up from her face. She closed her eyes letting him go over her eyelids. "It's done, nee-san." Shizuka opened her eyes, as Kasuka threw the wipe in the bin. She undid her bow tie, sleepily undoing the buttons on her shirt.

Kasuka helped her take her high heels off, as she took the skirt off. "Can we go somewhere tomorrow?" She only had one day, before he left for a while. "Where do you want to go?" She didn't care, as long as they spent time together. Kasuka rummaged through the draw, pulling out one of her nightdresses and throwing it at her.

Shizuka slipped it over her head, rolling her tights off. She yawned again, pulling back the covers to her brother's bed. Kasuka was watching her. He should have expected it, she stayed in his bed frequently. The blond stifled another yawn, smiling sleepily at him. "Night Kasuka." Minutes later, she felt the bed dip, as he climbed in. "Good night, nee-san."

Next:- Unexpected visitor


	8. Unexpected visitor

**Unexpected visitor**

Shizuka woke up with her arms and legs over Kasuka's. Ah that was right she had fallen asleep in his bed again. The place she felt safest. Kasuka was still sleeping next to her. She sighed happily, snuggling closer and going back to sleep.

She didn't get to for long. Her phone started vibrating on the table. Reaching out, she grabbed the phone looking at the caller I.D. It was her mother. She pressed the accept button, speaking as quietly as possible. "Hey mum." There was a happy sigh on the other end. _Shizuka, hello dear. How have you been? _

As usual her mum was happier speaking to her. "It's been fine." She didn't want to go into detail. _I was calling to remind you, about your doctor's appointment today. _She remembered. "Yes, I know. It's later this morning." Kasuka stirred beside her. _Make sure you let me know, how it goes dear. You should come for dinner, we don't see enough of you._

"I have to go, I'll call you later." She ended the call, putting the phone back on the table. "Morning, nee-san." Shizuka sighed, she hadn't wanted to wake him up. "Good morning, Kasuka. Can you come with me to my doctors appointment today?" She stretched, climbing out of bed. "Mum called you then?"

"Yes, as a reminder." She made sure her wig was in place, checking her breasts as well. "I'll drive you." Shizuka smiled. "Thanks Kasuka." She made her way to the fridge, grabbing the milk carton and tipping it back. He rummaged through the cupboards, taking down a box of cereal. She needed sugar. "Kasuka, do you want any cereal?"

Her brother poked his head around the door. "I'll make some toast, nee-san." She nodded, making her own, pouring some milk into the dish. Taking a spoon from the draw, she used her hip to slam it shut. The blonde sat at the table, eating her breakfast.

Kasuka joined her once he was dressed, putting the slices of bread in the toaster. "Are you going to do your make-up? Nee-san." Shizuka shook her head, smiling at him. "I prefer you doing it." Besides she had nothing to panic about today. She had fooled Shizuo's work mates. Everything would be back to normal.

If any of them called her, she would deal with it. But until then. She had the entire day to herself. She finished eating, putting the dish to one side. Shizuka waited until Kasuka had finished his. "Have you decided what you're wearing today?" She only had to wear her bar tending uniform when she had work. Though it was quicker to put it on, since she was so used to it.

She didn't buy her clothes. Either her mum or Kasuka brought them for her. It was her brother who had brought all the make-up. "I was going to stay with my uniform." He didn't look disappointed, at some point she would wear her new outfits. "Lets do your make-up, nee-san."

Kasuka finished applying her lipstick last. "It's done." Now she had to get changed. Shizuka pulled the nightdress over her head, sitting in her underwear. An item of clothing was thrown at her, which she caught and started to put on. Wait, this wasn't her work uniform. "Kasuka?" Her brother turned to her still expressionless. "Try them on, nee-san."

She did as she was told, buttoning the blouse up. It was white, with ruffles where the buttons were, she left the two top buttons undone, showing a flash of her cleavage. Next were the tights and a new skirt. If she was right, Kasuka had brought it for her. The skirt was a dark navy, with a small silver belt. Choosing a pair of heels, she slipped the first one on, wrapping the ribbon around her leg and tying it in a bow. She did the same with the other. "How do I look?" She stood from the bed, turning around. Kasuka nodded. "You look good, nee-san." He handed her a navy jacket, to put on.

She leaned against the window, as Kasuka found somewhere to park. She waited until he had finished and cut the engine, before she got out. She didn't want to do this. But if it made things better, then she had no choice. "Do you want me to wait? Nee-san." Meaning she was on her own.

Kasuka didn't deal with her female problems, it wasn't fair on him. "Thanks Kasuka, I'll be out soon." Unwrapping a lollipop, she headed towards the entrance of the doctors. It wasn't packed, but it wasn't empty either. Shizuka stopped in front of the receptionist. "I have an appointment." The woman nodded. "Name?"

"Shizuka Hanejima." The receptionist typed something on the computer. "Please take a seat, your name will be called." She chose an empty seat, close by, so she could hear her name. Five minutes later, she wished Kasuka had come in with her. She had nothing to do.

Ten minutes passed and her name hadn't been called. She had gone through three lollipops and was about to lose her temper. Why was she waiting so long? _Shizuka Hanejima. Room 14. _Finally. She made her way to room 14 and knocked on the door.

Her mum's doctor was a balding middle aged man. He sat in his chair, pointing for her to sit down. "What can I do for you?" She twirled the lollipop in her mouth. "I'm thinking about contraception." The doctor nodded. "I see. Are you sexually active?" What kind of question was that. She shook her head. "I haven't had sex."

"I'll prescribe these for you. Follow the instructions on the packet." Her doctor filled in a green slip, signing it at the bottom. "Start taking them when you are ready. The different coloured pills, are dummy pills. Those are the days, you'll be on your period." Shizuka nodded, taking the prescription. She quickly made her way out of the room, twirling the lolly.

She let out a deep breath as she got back into the car. "Are you okay? Nee-san?" The blond smiled, leaning against Kasuka. "Just embarrassed. "Her brother patted her head, waiting until she moved on her own. He then started the car. "Make sure to call mum. Do you want to go to the chemist?" She shook her head, Kasuka would be leaving. She wanted to spend all of today with him.

Shizuka was glued to his side, holding his hand. "Do you know when you're be coming back yet?" Kasuka shook his head. "Not yet, I'll call you to let you know." They stayed together on the sofa, passing time. "What time does Shiki-san, want you in?" The blonde tapped her nails, against her leg. "Today it six again. Tomorrow, I'm on the lunch time shift." She couldn't work late, since she had to go back to being Shizuo.

For lunch Kasuka ordered them pizza. He wasn't happy about it, since it was greasy food. But this was her choice. Opening the box, she took out a large slice. Kasuka was eating a lot more slowly. For desert she had one of her puddings. They were wasting the day away, but she was happy.

"I'll be leaving Sunday morning, do you want me to wake you up?" Shizuka put her hand on her hips. "If you leave without saying goodbye, I'll get mad." Kasuka nodded. "I won't. Do you remember how to take your make-up off?" Her brother was checking she knew what to do before he left.

"Using the wipes." That was an easy one. "Make sure you eat. I'll make some notes for you. You know how to make curry." She nodded. "Make sure you don't buy fast food again, nee-san." She gripped his arm, leaning into him. "I know Kasuka. If not, I can call you." Kasuka nodded. "Make sure you do."

Hours later she sat on Kasuka's bed, taking off her casual clothes. She needed to get ready for work. Everything else was already done, so it was just her clothing. She slipped on the darker tights and skirt. Next was a clean shirt and black waistcoat. She looked around for the last item. "Kasuka. Have you seen my bow tie?"

He was in the kitchen, washing up the plates. "Have you checked the draw?" She went back opening the draws, rummaging through them. "It's not here." Damn, Shiki had a strict code when it came to uniform. She pulled back the covers searching for the small piece of material. Checking under the bed, she still couldn't find it.

"Any luck?" Shizuka shook her head. "I can't find it. I have to go or I'll be late." Kasuka nodded, drying his hands. "I'll have a look for it, nee-san." She smiled, throwing her arms around him. "You still have to come to the club later." She slipped her bag over her shoulder, hurrying out of the door.

"Hanejima Shizuka." She was out of breath, as she made it to the club. Shiki was standing in front of her, with his two bodyguards. "You just about made it, on time. Akabayashi-san, is upstairs. Work the same as usual." Shizuka nodded. "Yes, Shiki-san." He hadn't said anything about her uniform, but if she had been late. It would have been another story. She would have been standing in his office, head bowed, while he politely told her off.

The same girl as yesterday was standing behind the bar. She had forgotten her name. The girl smiled as Shizuka made her way to the bar. "Good evening, Hanejima-san." The blonde lifted the panel up, going behind the bar to join her. "Good evening. Are you doing the same as yesterday?" The girl nodded. What was her name. Ari, no that wasn't right.

"Yes, I'll start cleaning the tables." Shizuka smiled, checking everything was stocked up. And so it began again. Still Kasuka would be here later. She pulled a lollipop from her bag. She was running out. The girl was more sure of herself today, her head wasn't lowered all the time.

Time moved on, customers were at the bar ordering their drinks. Shizuka took their orders, filling up the glasses. There were a lot of older teens coming in and heading to the upstairs floor. A few looked like trouble, but that was Akabayashi's problem, if she interfered Shiki would have a go at both of them.

She kept an eye on Anri. She had finally remembered her name. She didn't want another incident. Unfortunately, she seemed to attract the wrong attention. "Can I have a-" Shizuka smiled. "Sorry, I'll be back in a minute." She headed over to the flustered girl. Again. She picked up the idiot who had tried touching her, throwing him out of the club.

"Thank you, Hanejima-san." Shizuka sighed. "You need to learn to protect yourself." She'd have thought Akabayashi would have taught her. Anri lowered her head. "I know." She headed back to the bar. "Sorry, what was it you wanted?" The man blinked. "Uh, a cider please." Shizuka, opened the fridge taking one of the bottles out. "Do you want a glass?" He shook his head, taking the opened bottle and paying her.

The music changed upstairs, Akabayshi was in control of the sound system. Actually he was in charge of any technology. He preferred it that way. She moved her hips to the beat, while she poured the drinks. Anri, placed the empty glasses on the counter. "All the tables are clear." Shizuka nodded. "Can you wash the glasses up then?" The teen nodded, heading for the kitchen. Now she wouldn't have to worry about her for a while.

She should have known, everything was going to well. Someone hated her to do this. First it was her work colleagues. The door opened as she was serving another customer. She saw him before, he saw her. A familiar black haired and crimson eyed man walked into the club. The only difference was he had jeans on instead of his usual suit.

So he did have a personal life, his gaze met hers, looking straight through her. Izaya Orihara had just spotted her. She twirled the lolly faster in her mouth. A habit she had picked up when she was nervous. What was he doing here? This was the worst thing that could've happened. No, she had fooled the others, she could fool him.

She finished serving her current customer, placing the pint in front of him. She was now face to face with Shizuo's boss. "I didn't know Shizu-chan was a cross dresser." It was the same irritating voice. "Do I know you?" Crimson eyes were watching her every move. "You work for me, Shizu-chan. How did you change your voice?"

Shizuka's eye twitched. "You're the second person to call me by that name and refer to me by that name. I've never seen you before. Now what do you want?" Izaya smirked. "Then who are you?" The blonde twirled her lollipop. "I don't give my name out to strangers." She wasn't letting him get to her. "Izaya Orihara. We're not strangers now."

"Shizuka Hanejima." That damn smirk was back. "So it is Shizu-chan. Hmm, Hanejima. You would be related to Yuuhei right?" How did he know that. "He's my brother." Izaya was still watching her. "Which would you make you, Shizu-chan's sister." She glared at him. "I only have one brother." Why did this feel like it was going nowhere? "It sounds like you don't like Shizu-chan."

Just go away. He was ruining her peaceful day. "Why is that?" Shizuka sighed. "Are you going to order?" Why was he here? He didn't look like the type to drink. "Ne, are you a monster too?" Her hand lashed out grabbing the front of his jacket. "Do you want me to throw you out?" He laughed at her, she stared at him angry and confused. "Is the whole family like this?"

"Leave, bug. Now." She picked him up one handed, before dropping him. "I think I'll stay. I like you." Shizuka blinked. Out of the office, Izaya was even more annoying. "I'm looking for a P.A. It pays more than your job here." She laughed bitterly. "I like my job here thank you. Shiki-san is a better boss, than you would ever be."

Izaya leaned towards her, opening his mouth to say something. "Orihara-san." She had never been so glad to see Shiki. He made his way to the bar, with his two bodyguards, everyone clearing a path for him. "Shiki-san. I have what you asked for." She watched as her two bosses, walked back together. What was that about? It seemed she wasn't the only one living a double life.

Anri was back to cleaning the tables, while she made the drinks. Izaya and Shiki still hadn't come back out. Did that mean her boss was working for yakuza? Her life was getting more complicated. She leaned against the counter. The others had believed her easily. But the way Izaya watched her said he still thought she was Shizuo. Tricking the bug was going to be a lot harder. The night just got a lot longer.

Next:- On our own


	9. On our own

**On our own**

_A/N: Thank you for the reviews and onto the next bit. Enjoy._

Maybe she could take the rest of the night off. No, Shiki would scold her. She could ignore him, but then he might catch on. Her nails drummed against the counter, while her other hand twirled the lolly. Why was she worrying so much. It was one guy. Was she really that scared about Izaya finding out?

"Hanejima-san. Do you know that man?" Anri looked up at her concerned. Shizuka smiled, shaking her head. "I've never seen him before. He's mistaking me for my brother." The teen nodded. "If he bothers you, I can ask Akabayashi-san to take care of him." She stopped tapping her nails. This was her problem. "It's fine."

She was in the middle of serving a customer, when she noticed him. So their meeting had finished. She pretended she hadn't seen, filling up glasses. "I'm back, Shizu-chan." His expression irritated her, everything about him annoyed her. "Are you ordering this time?" She wasn't running from this one, it wasn't what she did.

The bug sat on the bar stool, directly in front of her. "I wanted to know, why Shizu-chan was cross-dressing." Shizuka glared at him. "Haven't we gone over this? I'm Kasuka's sister." Izaya smirked. "If you don't like Shizu-chan, why have you dyed your hair the same colour." The candy between her teeth shattered.

"If you must know, I changed mine first. Who are you exactly?" Why was he so persistent? "I can't be worried about my precious humans? Working with yakuza is dangerous, Shizu-chan." So they are yakuza. Maybe she needed a new job. But Shiki and Akabayashi had never tried to hurt her. Though sometimes they had sent her and Vorona on their breaks early.

"I have customers to serve. Order or get lost." Izaya stayed where he was. She could feel his eyes on her, looking through her, observing her every action. He doesn't believe me. Damn it. "Do me and... him really look alike?" I know how to fix it. "Exactly the same, Shizu-chan. Right down to the eyes." Reaching up, she unclipped the locket, showing Izaya the photo.

His expression changed for a split second, but she knew she had given him doubt. "You scribbled over, Shizu-chan's face. That's not nice, Shizu-chan." The same nickname, was that all he could come up with? She clipped the locket back up, serving someone else. Izaya was silent, but still focused on her.

"Ne, Is that photo really real?" Seriously? The bug was still at it. What would it take for him to believe her? She unwrapped another lollipop, shoving it into her mouth. Izaya leaned forward, getting in her face. "I can't smell any smoke." Then that smirk was back. "There is one way you can prove it." What was he up to now?

The bug grabbed her shirt by the collar, yanking her forward. Shizuka held onto the counter, to stop herself going over. She felt a sharp sting near the top of her throat, she took a few seconds to recover, to realize what Izaya was doing. "You damn bug." He jumped out of the way as she launched her fist at him. "Such a monster, Shizu-chan."

She noticed the teenage girl, run up the stairs. But she couldn't care, she needed to smash the nuisance in front of her. He was quick, he dodged all of her punches with ease, she hadn't noticed that her floor had been cleared, leaving the two of them alone. Shizuka picked up one of the tables, sending it straight at him.

Izaya was smirking, his eyes gleaming. Why wouldn't anything hit him? The bug had ducked, letting the table sail into the wall behind. "You missed, Shizu-chan." She blinked as Izaya reached into his pocket, flicking open a knife and pointing it at her. She shouldn't have been surprised.

It didn't stop her temper, she picked up the table next to it hurling it at him again he dodged, this time he ran forward, slicing the blade through the air. "They look real." She followed his gaze, finding he had slashed her uniform, right where her fake breasts were, revealing her cleavage. She used her arm to cover herself. "Happy now? You perverted bug."

"I'm an informant, Shizu-chan. I'm never wrong." She grit her teeth, clenching her fist. "I'm going to kill you." The chairs were easier to throw with one hand. She heard the door open, but ignored it. They would soon run out again. She hated him, the arrogant bastard. She ran at him, swinging her arm, he quickly moved out of the way. Why can't I beat him.

"Nee-san." Shizuka froze, turning away from Izaya. Kasuka stood by the door, watching her with those expressionless eyes. She let her anger drain out of her. He walked up to her placing, his hand on her shoulder. "Calm down, nee-san." She nodded, her head low. She had acted out in front of him again. "Sorry, Kasuka."

She didn't know why Izaya affected her so much. "It's okay. I'll take you home." She nodded, unwrapping one of her lollies. She knew that Izaya was watching how they were together. Kasuka ruffled her hair, whilst his expressionless gaze, met the bugs. "Orihara-san. Please stay away from my nee-san."

Neither one of them looked away, staring at the other. "Oh? You've made quite a mess down here." The girl came down the stairs, Akabayashi behind her. "Hmm, You're that informant. Does Shiki-no-danna, know you're causing trouble?" Izaya broke the gaze turning to the carefree man. "Akabayashi-san. I was talking with Shizu-chan." He smirked looking over her again. "She doesn't seem to like me."

Kasuka shrugged off his jacket, handing it to her, so she could cover herself. She smiled at him, before realizing the damage she had caused. Shiki was going to get angry. The girl stopped in front of her. "Hanejima-san. We'll handle things here, you can go home." She stared at the usually shy teen. "You've always helped me. I want to return the favour." She went back to staring at her shoes.

"Lets go, nee-san." Shizuka nodded, taking Kasuka's hand. She couldn't stop herself looking back and meeting Izaya's gaze. He was still watching her. "See you Monday, Shizu-chan." She had tried everything, did this mean he still didn't believe her? She sighed, gripping her brother's hand tighter.

She got into the car, saying nothing as she did up her seatbelt. This was bad. "Are you okay?" Kasuka climbed in the other side. "What was Orihara-san doing there? Nee-san." She smiled bitterly, trying to rearrange her clothes. "He knows Shiki. He's decided I'm Shizuo. I even showed him the photo." Her brother nodded. "Did he do anything?"

"He bit me and slashed my uniform." The one of many Kasuka had brought for her. Her brother was silent, gently taking her chin and tilting her head. "He's left a mark." Shizuka brought her hand up to her throat. He would find out, on Monday, it would still be there. She couldn't get out of this one. She went through the rest of her lollipops, before they made it home, crunching them between her teeth.

"What do I do?" Kasuka stopped the car letting them out. "What was he thinking? He bit me." Her brother locked the doors, taking her hand and squeezing it. "Think of it as a bruise. It can be covered up, nee-san." She unlocked the door, closing it behind them. Shizuka handed him back his jacket. Her uniform was beyond repair. Her hand went to the mark. She could still feel it. His lips on her skin. It was the first time, anyone had been that...intimate.

"Nee-san, I'll show you how to do it." She sat on Kasuka's bed, as he rummaged through the make-up kit. He threw the wipes on the bed, next to her. "You'll need to apply this when you go to work, on Monday." He held up the concealer. "Tilt your head, nee-san." She did as she was told, while he rubbed it along her throat.

"Take a look." She stared at the mirror in his hands. Shizuo couldn't stand looking into one, but she could. Shizuka smiled, the mark was gone. "It will cover it up, but don't let anyone touch it." Kasuka reached for the make-up wipes. "Close your eyes, nee-san."

Once her make-up had been removed and she had done everything else, she climbed into Kasuka's bed. She could only cover the mark as Shizuo, which meant everyone would see it at Artic tomorrow. "Good night, nee-san." She snuggled closer to him, as her brother climbed in. "Good night, Kasuka. Don't forget to wake me up tomorrow." As she closed her eyes, her hand automatically went to her neck.

She sat up as she heard a rustling noise. "Kasuka, you said you'd wake me." He was at the end of the bed, packing a small bag. She climbed out of bed, throwing her arms around him from behind. "I was going to, once I finished, nee-san." He patted the top of her arm, finishing his packing. "I'll make you breakfast."

She followed him to the kitchen, not leaving his side. In less than an hour, he would be gone. She sat down eating, as Kasuka went through everything she had to do. "Make sure you eat, nee-san." Shizuka smiled as he went through everything. "I'll be fine, Kasuka." Kasuka nodded. "I worry about you, nee-san."

Kasuka looked at his watch. "I need to go now." She nodded, standing up and hugging him tightly. "I'll miss you." He ruffled her hair, looking at her expressionless. "I'll miss you too, nee-san. If anything happens, call me." He picked up his bag. "Please be careful of Orihara-san." She shook her head as she thought of what had happened. Why was she still thinking about it. "Goodbye, nee-san." He kissed her forehead, leaving the apartment.

She stared at her empty cereal bowl. Kasuka was gone, she was on her own, left to deal with Izaya. Her hand moved from her cheek, to her throat. She didn't get why he got to her so much. The damn bug was getting under her skin.

Looking at her own watch, she sighed. She would need to get ready for work soon. It was her last day as Shizuka until next week. The blond grabbed her bowl, placing it in the sink. She would have to do everything for herself now. Shizuka ran the hot water, cleaning her dish and Kasuka's plate. She didn't know how long he would be gone for.

Shizuka sat in front of the table, looking into the mirror. She pinned the wig back, so it didn't get in her face. She would have to do her make-up on her own. Going through the make-up kit, she reached for the foundation, remembering step by step, what he kasuka had taught her.

She managed to apply everything correctly, but it didn't look as good,as when Kasuka did it. Not to mention, she had jabbed herself in the eye, with the mascara brush. She finished with the lipstick, putting the cap back on. That was it for now.

Shizuka picked up the slashed uniform, holding it out in front of her. Damn bug. Why couldn't he leave her alone. Did he have to interfere in both lives? Placing it on the bed, she went through her draws, pulling out a new one. She would need to throw the other one away.

The blonde finished with the last button, noticing her bow-tie on the table. She smiled as she put it around her neck. So Kasuka had found it. Once she had slipped her heels on, she was ready. She lifted the mirror up, seeing if her collar covered the mark. It didn't. It was there clear as day. Letting out a long sigh, she went to the cupboard, getting another bag of lollipops, unwrapping one.

This was her first day without Kasuka, she could do it. She relied on her brother way too much. Once she got home, she would cook for herself. Throwing her bag over her shoulder, she left the apartment. Now to see if she was in trouble with Shiki.

Next:- Its never easy


	10. Its never easy

**Its never easy**

_A/N:- Thank you for all the reviews and onto the next part. Enjoy._

Shizuka took a deep breath, before opening the door to Artic. Please don't let Shiki be in. Please don't let him be in. Knowing she had to go in at some point, she pushed open the door. She smiled as she looked around the room. Everything was neat and tidy, exactly the same as it had been before... the bug.

Vorona's replacement was cleaning one of the tables. She looked up as Shizuka walked towards the bar. "Hanejima-san." The blonde smiled at her, but she still couldn't remember her name. "You did a good job. Thank you." The teen blushed, lowering her head. "I'm sorry, we didn't do it quick enough."

Ah, fuck. She could sense an icy feeling in the room. "Hanejima Shizuka. My office, if you please." She turned around, facing her boss. "Yes, Shiki-san." She followed him and the two bodyguards into Shiki's office. "Please sit down." There were two sofa's in the room, with a coffee table between them. She took a seat, twirling her lollipop, nails moving along the arm of the sofa.

Shiki took the seat opposite her, his two bodyguards standing behind him. She felt like a child about to be scolded. Her boss was silent, observing her, similar to how Izaya watched her. "You made quite the mess in my club." She lowered her head. "Sorry, Shiki-san."

"I understand Orihara-san, can be troublesome. However that doesn't excuse the damage you caused." So Izaya had gotten her in trouble with her other boss. The next time she saw him... The next time, she'd... "Your face has turned red. Are you fit to work?" Shizuka placed a hand over her face. "I'm fine, Shiki-san. It won't happen again."

"Make sure it doesn't. You won't be let off with a warning next time." She nodded, standing up slowly. "Hanejima Shizuka. I understand everyone is entitled to their secrets. You should know I have a background check done on all of my employees." She froze, eyes wide. Did that mean? "I won't ask for your reasons, But I won't tolerate any trouble. You may go back to work."

She nodded numbly, making her way to the door. Shiki knew? Since when? She closed it behind her, slowly walking to the bar. Since the beginning? Why hadn't he said anything?But if he hadn't said anything, did that mean it didn't matter? Why was everything getting so complicated?

"Hanejima-san. Are you okay?" The teen was hovering by one of the tables. "I'm fine. Lets get the club open shall we?" The girl still looked concerned, by she nodded anyway. Kasuka knew, her parents did, Shiki knew and now Izaya knew. The list was growing, she needed to be more careful.

For the last time that week, she checked everything was full, the glasses were in the correct place. By the silence on the upper floor, Akabayashi wasn't in yet. He always was late on Sundays. He spent most of the day sleeping. It was lucky that the club was peaceful on Sunday.

She needed to brush everything off. Shizuo was the one constantly worrying, it shouldn't be her. Shiki hadn't treated her any differently, he had respected her privacy and said nothing. Izaya was Shizuo's problem. It was nothing to do with her. She wouldn't allow him to affect her, no matter how many damn marks, the bug left.

The day went by quietly. The upper floor was open late, while the lower floor opened in the morning, closing at three in the afternoon, then opening again at night. On Saturdays she was on night shift, on the Sunday it was the morning shift. She had wondered why Shiki had accepted her hours, being so flexible. Now she knew.

The girl seemed more relaxed, getting used to her role. It was a shame, she had been getting used to her. Next week, Vorona should be back. She twirled the lolly, between her lips. "Sorry, I'm bad at remembering names." The girl gave her a small smile. "Anri Sonohara." Shizuka nodded, repeating it in her head, over and over. "Thank you for your help."

She didn't see Shiki for the rest of the day. He had left her and Anri running the club. Akabayashi strolled in as they were finishing up, cane loosely over his shoulder. "Good morning." Shizuka shook her head. It was already the afternoon. "Oh? Are you leaving? You might want to be careful with that informant." Shizuka sighed. Everyone was saying the same thing.

She left the bar making her way home. As usual people stared at her as she passed. Probably because she didn't look like a cross dresser, she looked like a female, her clothes fitting her slim body perfectly. Several guys had asked her out, but she had turned them all down, for obvious reasons.

Shizuka walked past the convenience store, not going inside. She had promised Kasuka, she would eat properly. She wasn't going to break that promise now. The blonde went home, opening the door to her apartment. "I'm back." She didn't receive an answer, but it was a force of habit and when her brother returned he would say welcome home again.

As soon as she started cooking, she knew she would fail. Kasuka had made everything look so easy. She spent forever cutting up the ingredients, making them look like ruined chunks instead of the smooth blocks her brother added to the pot. She turned the heat up to much, burning the bottom. Still, it looked edible. She made the plate for one, staring at the remaining curry, left in the pot. She had made too much.

Shizuka placed the lid on the pot, keeping it covered. She would eat the rest another time. She sat down on the sofa, as she did when Kasuka wasn't here, eating as she turned on the tv. She grimaced as she ate her failure, it had no taste, unlike her brothers. Maybe she should get a cook book.

Shizuka glanced at her watch, knowing her time was up. Washing up, she headed for Kasuka's room, though it was practically hers as well. The blond sat on the bed, taking off her bow-tie and undoing her waistcoat and shirt. She hated this part. The changing back to Shizuo. After she had finished undressing, she unclipped her bra, taking off the fake breasts and pulling the wig from her head.

Next was the wig cap, the tightness of it flattening down the short blond hair. He grabbed the make-up wipes, scrubbing the gunk off his face. Next was the nail varnish remover, but he could snap the fake nails off. Without looking down at his body, Shizuo headed for the bathroom, running the water.

Once the bath was full, he let himself relax, trying to bring life back into his flattened hair. Tomorrow he would go back to working for the flea. He would be stuck in Izaya's office, doing work and making coffee, while his boss watched over his department. He should be allowed back now that Ryugamine and Kida had returned to school.

Once he had finished, Shizuo pulled himself out, drying and getting dressed. He made sure everything was put back properly. Shizuka's clothes were put in the wash. The make-up set was closed for another week. The last thing to do was put the wig back, placing it on the head stand, in Kasuka's wardrobe and switching off Shizuka's phone.

Shizuo straightened out the sheets, used little strength to fluff the pillows, making the bed. There everything was back the way it was. Shizuo slipped the concealer into his pocket. It was the only thing he would need. He closed the door to his brothers room, moving over to his own room. It was as he left it. Shizuo opened the draw, taking out his phone and switching it back on. He waited for the start up screen to finish. He blinked at the phone. Ten missed calls and five new messages.

There was two from Erika, one from Kadota, one from Shinra. Two from Ryugamine and Kida. The rest were from his father. He didn't have Shizuka's number, because to him she didn't exist. Karisawa and Kadota could wait, he would see them tomorrow. His father, he really didn't feel like talking to. First things first. He really needed a cigarette.

After three cigarettes, he decided it would be enough nicotine until tomorrow. Shizuo relaxed on the sofa, holding his phone. He didn't know what Shinra wanted. For now he would call Ryugamine and Kida. Hopefully they were together. The blond selected Mikado's number, selecting call.

The phone rang four rings, until someone picked up on the other end. _Heiwajima-san? _Shizuo smiled, Mikado still sounded nervous. "You called me." There was a slight pause on the other end. _Ah, that's right. Thank you for calling me back. Me and Kida wanted to thank you for taking care of us...Kida-kun it's Heiwajima-san. _He could hear rustling in the background.

_We were both, well I was nervous when we started our work experience. Thank you for taking care of us. I'd like it if we could see each other in the future. _The kid sounded nervous, the odd stutter in his words. But he had called him, he wanted to stay in contact. Both of them didn't think he was a monster. "Its fine. We have each others phone numbers." He could practically see the teen smiling. _Thank you, Heiwajima-san. _

Shizuo hung up the call, leaving the phone on the table. His life was changing, people were relying on him, he was creating bonds. But he was lying to them. The Shizuo they knew was only half a person. The same with Shizuka. Neither one of them were complete. Neither of them were completely happy.

The blond flicked through the tv channels, seeing there was nothing on. He didn't want to continue his current line of thought. He needed to distract himself. In the end, he switched on one of Kasuka's dvds.

His phone vibrated on the table. He knew by the tone, it was his mother. Shizuo left it ring. First his father and now his mother. Switching off the dvd, he headed to his room. The bed was neatly made, from where he hadn't slept in it. The sheets were cold. Closing his eyes, he allowed himself to sleep.

Shizuo awoke to the alarm clock, pulling himself out of bed. He hopped into the shower, his eyes closed, so he didn't have to look at his body. Unfortunately he had to cover the damn mark, the flea had left. Opening the door to Kasuka's room, he reluctantly took the small mirror, checking that he applied the concealer correctly.

His eye caught his own reflection after he had finished, covering the mark up. Shizuo grimaced throwing the mirror on the floor. He turned away as it shattered, slamming the door behind him. The blond made himself breakfast, eating slowly, he still had plenty of time to get to work.

Once he had finished, he made sure he had his cigarettes, before leaving the apartment. He took the long way to work, knowing he was stalling. After today he would have caught up on his missed weekend of nicotine. As he finally reached his workplace, Izaya stepped out of his car. Damn.

"Good morning, Shizu-chan." The flea walked closely beside him. He could feel crimson eyes on him and knew what Izaya was searching for. The proof that he and Shizuka were the same. At one point he thought he saw his boss's eyes narrow, clearly Mr god complex, didn't like being wrong. "Did Shizu-chan have a good weekend?" Shizuo ignored him, leaning against the elevator. "I thought we talked about your manners?"

"We did. You said I didn't have any." Shizuo closed his eyes waiting for it to stop at their floor. "Can't I be worried for my precious humans?" Nice try flea. Izaya didn't say anything else for the rest of the time. He opened the door to his office, letting the blond in. Shizuo sat at his desk, turning on his computer.

"Shizu-chan, coffee." He got up, grabbing the flea's cup. Izaya was watching him again or more his neck. When was he going to let it go? As he made his way to the kitchen, Izaya pressed the button on the speaker, getting ready for his morning announcement. Everything was the same. Nothing would change. His live as Shizuo would be unchanging.

Next:- Didn't see it coming


	11. Didn't see it coming

**Didn't see it coming**

_A/N: Thank you for the reviews and onto the next chapter. Enjoy._

He wished the flea would stop staring at him, he was beginning to feel uncomfortable. He was trying to concentrate on his work, but he could feel that unwavering gaze on him. "Ne, Shizu-chan. I'm bored." The blond ignored him continuing to type.

He wasn't replying to emails, no he wasn't going along with Izaya, playing his games. He was going behind the flea's back, creating the job application for the P.A position. As soon as it was finished, he could send it out. Izaya would have no choice but to interview them and he would be back in his department. Everyone would be happy.

And he would be away from him,his two lives wouldn't be in danger from colliding. Because for all the time he had been working here, nothing had changed. Now Izaya was involved, he felt like it would. He had met both him and Shizuka. Something that wasn't supposed to happen.

"Shizu-chan, I met your sister at the weekend." His typing slowed. "She looks a lot like you." Shizuo ignored him, picking his speed back up. "Shizu-chan. Shizu-chan. Don't ignore me." He should have learnt his lesson. His boss, spun around in his chair.

The next time he looked up the flea was hovering over his desk. "Is everyone in your family monsters?" There was that annoying smirk. "...No. I'm trying to work." But he had given Izaya an opening. If possible, the smirk widened. "So it's just you and Shizu-chan?" Come on Shizuo, he'd been pretending for years.

"Shizu-chan? You call her the same stupid nickname?" Izaya was leaning against the edge of the table. "It's not stupid, Shizu-chan. It's an endearment for one of my precious humans." The blond shook his head. Izaya leaned forward, his hand reaching out. Shizuo rolled his chair back moving out of the way. "What are you doing?"

Izaya closed his fingers around the edge of the computer screen, turning it around. "That's not nice, Shizu-chan. You're my P.A." It was only temporary. "I need to go back to my department." He cursed as Izaya closed the document, without it saving. "My precious humans can handle themselves."

Was the flea trying to get as close as possible? "Ryugamine and Kida aren't there. Why can't you re-hire that woman?" Izaya shook his head. "Silly protozoan, the police haven't managed to catch them yet." Then what about the girl that was tied up? "I'm going for a cigarette." He pushed himself off of the chair, moving around the flea.

He slowed his pace, trying not to rush. Once he was in the lift, he rested his head against the metal. That was too close, he had thought Izaya was trying to touch his neck. He was letting his panic slip through. He needed to calm down. How long had he been acting? How long had he been suppressing his temper? Only for Izaya to ruin everything.

Shizuo leaned against the outside wall, lighting up his cigarette. Stay calm, stay focused. He didn't have Kasuka to help him. He took a deep breath, returning to his usual self.

The blond returned to the office, he could handle this, damn flea. Izaya was sitting at his desk, fingers moving quickly across the keys. "Shizu-chan is back." He finished up, getting away from the desk. What was he doing? "I have an appointment later today. I added it to the schedule." Shizuo sat back at his desk.

Finally it was lunch time. The flea stayed where he was, messing around on his computer. He met Kadota, Karisawa and Walker at the entrance. "Shizu-chan." Erika smiled, waving at him. She was holding a book in her hand. "I miss Mika-pon." Kadota and Walker agreed. He had been with the three of them less than five minutes and he could see how different things were.

Without the kids, it was more serious. Karisawa and Walker were the same, Kadota was quiet and kept to himself. Ryugamine and Kida had brought life to the department. The others would be feeling the same. "Did Iza-Iza, say anything about them?" Shizuo shook his head. He would ask when he got back.

"He didn't say anything." Kadota was quieter than usual, he hadn't said a word. The four of them took their seat in the café, Karisawa grabbed Walker. "We'll order for everyone." She dragged the other off, leaving him and Kadota alone. The silence was uncomfortable. "Sorry, I didn't call you back. Was it important?"

Kadota nodded. "We went to Artic on Friday night." So this was about Shizuka. "We met your sister. She said you two didn't get along." Shizuo nodded. "What about her?" Kadota took a deep breath. "She's still your sister. I wanted to ask if you were okay with me being around her." Shizuo froze, Shizuka had already given them her number.

"Its her decision." Kadota nodded. "Thanks Shizuo." At that point Erika and Walker, came back placing their food in front of them. "Shizu-Shizu, did Dotachin tell you he was in love?" Erika was squealing. "He fell for her at first sight, it's like a manga." Shizuo blinked, finally catching on to what Kadota was asking him.

"Oh, I brought the latest manga. You can borrow it if you want. Its about..." Shizuo wasn't listening as she went into her over excited explanation. Kadota had fallen for his sister. Someone that didn't exist. His work colleague had fallen for an act. Damn it. He didn't think it was possible.

He and Kadota ate in silence, Shizuo looked out of the window, seeing Izaya get in his car. So he did take a lunch break. "Shizuo?" The blond faced Kadota. "We don't talk to each other, you can do what you want." He wasn't sure whether he sounded bitter or not. Letting out a sigh, he went back to eating.

Was he feeling guilty about lying to them or Jealous of Shizuka being loved? He didn't know. It was a new feeling, that he didn't understand. "Thanks, Shizuo." The blond made sure his mouth was full so he couldn't reply.

There was no sign of Izaya's car, meaning he wasn't back yet. Shizuo took his time making his way back up to the office. He sat back at his desk, logging back in. It was quiet without Izaya bothering him. He happily went through him emails, doing his job as Izaya's P.A.

The flea got back two hours later, his expression serious for once. Probably something to do with the Yakuza. "Did anyone call? Shizu-chan." The blond shook his head. "No. You're appointment is in Twenty five minutes." The flea nodded. "Coffee, Shizu-chan." Shizuo got up to make it, wondering what Izaya was like without the caffeine.

He was sitting at his desk, when there was a knock at the door. The flea's appointment was here. The area by his desk, was made of glass, so he knew immediately who was there. So that was the flea's game. Izaya didn't say anything as he opened the door. "Shiki-san, what brings you here?"

Shizuo kept his eyes on the screen, trying to be invisible. Shizuka's boss walked into the room, followed by his bodyguards. Instantly he felt Shiki's gaze on him. "I see you have a new P.A, Orihara-san." Izaya nodded. "Shizu-chan is Namie's replacement." He knew, the way he turned away, meant Shiki knew. If he had been anyone else, Shizuka's boss would have asked for privacy.

"What can I do for you? Shiki-san." Izaya sounded slightly politer than usual. "Two of the documents, you were supposed to bring me were missing. I expect you to do your job correctly." He was surprised, even the flea got scolded. "Ah, My apologies, Shiki-san." He picked a file from his desk, handing it across.

He didn't know what was in it, but Shiki looked satisfied with it. "Make sure this doesn't happen again, Orihara-san." The man looked at him again, as he passed. He didn't say anything, maybe he was leaving that for Shizuka? While he was Shizuo, he didn't need to listen to Shiki. The door closed, leaving the two of them alone again.

"Ne, Shizu-chan. What did you think of your sister's boss?" Shizuo forced himself to keep his usual expression. "Is he dangerous? He had bodyguards." Izaya smirked. "Worried for, Shizu-chan? She could work here." Shizuo shrugged. "Like you said, we don't get along." So leave it alone you damn flea. "Hmm, I should have asked Shiki-san, what days she works." Shizuo ignored him.

By the looks of things, Izaya was actually working. Well he was doing something. Shizuo was now up to date with all of his. "I met Kasuka-kun." The blond looked up. Izaya smirked, happy he finally had his attention. "He's overprotective of Shizu-chan." Shizuo paused. Which one was he referring to? Him or Shizuka? Or was this another trick, to make him slip up?

"Kasuka-kun is shooting a movie at the moment." If he hadn't known he was an informant he would have lost it. "How do you know that?" He and Shizuka were kept apart. If Shizuka knew who Izaya was, then he would pretend not to know. "I make it my business to know about my precious humans, Shizu-chan."

"Its creepy." Izaya smirked. "Is the monster scared?" Again with calling him a monster? "No." He didn't have a reason to be, he could smash Izaya to bits. It didn't matter if he was his boss, or an informant for the yakuza. He was still the annoying flea, with a god complex and over inflated ego. He probably had stalker issues as well.

"That's good. It wouldn't be fun otherwise." Fun. Is that what he called messing with his life? Damn flea. Change the subject, if it went on, he'd say or do something he'd regret later on. "What about Ryugamine and Kida?" Izaya's smirk faltered briefly."Both of them, will have a job here once they leave school." Shizuo smiled. They only had a couple of years.

Shizuo allowed himself to smile as he made his way from the building. He had gone through his day, without hitting or lashing out at the flea and he had protected his identity. He had gotten all his work done as well. The only bad thing was Kadota and Shiki. But neither of them were his problem. They were Shizuka's problem, to be dealt with at the weekend.

When he got home, he reached for his keys, before finding the door was already unlocked. He could have sworn, he had locked it this morning. He had a bad memory, but not that bad. Not that it mattered. Who would be stupid enough to break into his apartment.

Slipping his keys back into his pocket, he opened the door, seeing everything exactly as he left it. Maybe he had forgotten. Just in case, he opened Kasuka's room. Nothing had changed. The same with the kitchen and his own room. No sign of a break in and nothing missing.

Shizuo heated up the remaining curry, spooning it onto a plate. Tomorrow he would have to find something else to make. Something easy and didn't take too long. He did his usual showering and getting dressed in his pyjamas. He rested on the sofa, letting his eyes close for a while. What was it that he did, before Kasuka had stayed with him? He had become too dependent on his little brother, it was difficult to tell who was who.

It was getting late, when there was a knock at his door. It was most likely Celty, or Shinra for ignoring his call. He'd know if it was his parents. They would call first, making sure he was their 'preferred' gender, before visiting. Pulling himself off the sofa, he stretched is limbs, opening the door. Ugh. Damn it. "Hello, Shizu-chan."

Next:- Discovered.


	12. Discovered

**Discovered**

_A/N:- Thank your the reviews. I'm thinking of writing the next chapter like the first chapter but as Izaya. Let me know what you think. And onto the next bit. Enjoy._

What? Someone must really hate him. He was holding the door frame, in his pyjamas. Standing in the door way was the flea. He was wearing the same clothes as when Shizuka had seen him. What was he doing here? Hadn't he bothered the blond enough at work? Damn it. Why was he here?

His first thought was to close the door, Izaya wasn't his boss outside the office. He didn't have to talk to him. "What do you want? Flea?" That damn smirk was back. "So, you still have no manners outside of work? Shizu-chan." Close the door, shut him out. Don't...let...him...in. His fingers itched to slam the door. All his instincts telling him, to stay away from the man in front of him.

"What do you want?" Izaya moved closer to the doorway entrance. "I'm here to see, Shizu-chan." Shizuo scowled, shaking his head. "She's not here." Crimson eyes glinted up at him. "I'm here to see you." The blond sighed. "Why? You've had all day to bother me." He kept his body, firmly blocking Izaya entrance. His instincts had never let him down before.

"I came to return something." Shizuo didn't trust the look in the flea's eye. "What?" He was getting a bad feeling. The door being unlocked, maybe... Izaya smirked. "Let me in, Shizu-chan." The blond glared at him, who did he think he was, ordering him around? He froze as he realized what was in the flea's hands. How?

His grip loosened from the door frame, Izaya took his chance ducking under the blond's arm. He had been stupid, Shizuo thought he had been so smart tricking everyone, keeping his double life a secret. He had thought, Izaya would only bother him during work. He was wrong. "Shizu-chan, aren't you going to close the door?"

Izaya was smirking, holding the diary, Kasuka had brought him. The only time he had admitted what he was. The damn flea knew. It was there written in ink. The flea had got into his apartment and found proof. "Get out." He didn't turn to look at Izaya. He could feel the thin line keeping his double life separate, start to crumble.

"Shizu-chan?" How could he be so stupid? "Get the hell out!" He spun around, leaving the door wide open. "Ne, Shizu-chan. Is this anyway to treat your boss?" Shizuo glared at him. "I quit." Izaya's smirk faded. As he took a seat on the arm of the sofa. "I'm not letting that happen, Shizu-chan."

The damn flea had broken into his personal space. He knew when Izaya had done it. Why the car had sped off, while he was eating his lunch. Shiki had warned Shizuka, he was an informant. Coupled with his god complex, he should have known the flea, wouldn't let it go. "You – Where did you get it?"

Izaya balanced the diary on his knee. "It was under your pillow, Shizu-chan. Not really the safest place." He felt his anger simmering under the surface, wanting to be let out, at least sending the intruder to the hospital. "You broke in?" Shizuo glanced around the room, looking for anything that he had missed. The flea shrugged, not showing any regret for his actions.

"What now?" He finally looked at Izaya. Just like his double life, his feelings were split. He wanted to smash the flea, keep his mouth shut. But he wanted to run, his home was no longer safe, He knew Shiki wouldn't make a big deal about it, but Izaya... What if he told everyone? Put it over the morning announcement? The flea already looked at him like he was a monster. "Nothing, Shizu-chan." The blond looked up at Izaya, not believing a word he said. Shizuo laughed bitterly. "This is you, we're talking about flea. Why else would you be here?"

Izaya shook his head slightly, his piercing gaze never leaving his own. It was unnerving. "Believe it or not Shizu-chan. I don't plan on doing anything." The blond could here a 'yet' at the end. "Why did you break in?" The flea didn't blink or look away. "I'm an informant, Shizu-chan. Call it curiosity." So that was it?

Izaya had thought he was Shizuka and decided to proof it? For what his own self satisfaction. He was scowling again, his mind going around in circles, rage bubbling. "Did you leave anything?" Anything to spy on him? He knew what the flea was capable off. "No, I went in Shizu-chan's room."

Shizuo finally had control of his body, still trying to suppress his temper. He moved dangerously close to Izaya, snatching the diary from the loose grip. Izaya didn't seem to mind, continuing to watch him. "I won't be part of your games. Get out!" His voice was low, anger managing to seep through. Izaya hopped off the arm, a centimetre away from him.

He felt the flea's fingers touch his neck, touching where he had applied concealer, covering the mark up. He felt pressure, as Izaya pressed down, his fingers coming away, with some of the cover-up. "Believe it or not, I want to help. Shizu-chan is Shizu-chan." Shizuo clenched his fist, letting Izaya walk past him. "Don't be late, Shizu-chan."

He stayed where he was, not bothering to check Izaya was gone, or that the door was closed. He didn't care. His grip tightened, the diary bending in his hand. He should never of written it down, he should have kept all of it inside, the same as everything else. But the diary had been a gift from Kasuka.

Shizuo moved slowly to the sofa, dropping down on the cushions. What now? He didn't trust Izaya. His secret wasn't safe, the flea was up to something. How long had he known? When he had seen Shizuka or before? He knew the meeting with Shiki at the office had been on purpose. Another way to try and catch him off guard. He had slipped up.

Or maybe Shiki had told him. Who knew what they had spoken about. Both of his bosses knew his secret. It wasn't supposed to be that way. They were supposed to stay apart, it was safer for him and her. Now, everything was getting muddled. All the time he had spent on their identities, was now wasted.

The arm of the sofa screamed as his grip tightened, the wooden frame under the fabric, splintering. This was who he was. A monster because of his strength. Confused, because of his gender. He was a freak. He released his grip on the sofa, burying his head in his hands, consumed by his self loathing. This was what Kasuka had tried to help him through, being the only one to accept him. When not even he could accept himself, or herself.

He wasn't sure how long he sat there, not moving, not touching anything in fear it would break, using all his will power to keep the lid on his overflowing temper. The room was getting darker, The only light came from his phone, vibrating on the table. Why couldn't his parents leave him alone? it wasn't like he had chosen to be born like this. He finally glanced at the call screen, about to smash the device.

It was Kasuka. His brother, who always listened, never judged him. The opposite of him, he was always calm. The one that accepted him, wasn't scared of him. The only one he could rely on. But that would only last so long. Eventually he would mess up and lose his brother's faith in him.

"Hi Kasuka." He wasn't sure what he sounded like. _Nii-san. Is everything okay? _Shizuo was silent, thinking of what to say. Kasuka had his own career, he couldn't worry the other with his problems. "Yeah, everything is fine." There was a long pause on the other end, as there always was when he spoke to his expressionless sibling. _Have you eaten? _Shizuo allowed himself a small smile, in his depressed state. "Yeah, I made too much curry." Another pause. _That's good. How was work? Did Shiki get mad? _Slowly he could feel himself relaxing.

"No, he let Shizuka off, with a warning." A shorter pause on the other end, he could barely hear his brother breathing. _What about, Orihara-san? _Shizuo bit his lip, he was getting wound up again at the mention of the flea's name. "Nothing has changed."

_I see. Be careful, nii-san. _Shizuo sighed, leaning back against the cushions. "I will, goodnight Kasuka." _Good night, nii-san. _The blond ended the call, gently placing the phone on the table. He didn't want to break it. He felt slightly better, Kasuka always had that affect.

Shizuo picked up the diary, bending it the other way, so it was sort of straight was securely in his grip as he went into his bedroom. He wasn't risking putting it back under his pillow. Opening the wardrobe, he placed it under his clothes, right at the bottom. It couldn't be seen, or easily found. He didn't think anyone would be stupid enough to search for it, but just in case.

Once he had finished wiping the concealer off, he got into bed. He wasn't sure how long it had taken him to get to sleep, he had spent ages, just staring at the ceiling. Shizuo finally closed his eyes from exhaustion. He dreamed of shattered mirrors, footsteps running and two loosely bound strings, becoming tangled.

The next morning he awoke, his feet were cold. The covers wrapped around his upper body, proof that he hadn't slept well. He rubbed a hand through his hair, trying to mentally prepare himself for work. For facing the flea. After he had finished showering, he looked at the concealer. Was it worth bothering with? The whole point of it, had been to hide it from the one who had given it to him.

But if Karisawa happened to see it... he didn't wanted to think about that conversation. He quickly applied the concealer, along his throat. Once again covering the mark. Since he didn't have a mirror, it would have to do. If he had made a mistake, someone would point it out, whether it was his work colleagues or Izaya.

He didn't feel like eating, but forced himself to have a slice of toast anyway. It was plain and didn't taste of anything. Then again it was food, it counted as breakfast. He slipped on his suit, checking where everything was. The door to Kasuka's room was closed, as was his. Anything important had been hidden. He would need to buy some draws with a lock on for Shizuka's belongings.

Finally stepping from the apartment, he made sure to lock his door. Shizuo placed a cigarette between his lips, reaching for his lighter. He tilted his head back, looking at the clear sky, taking a deep breath. The blond started down the steps, grimacing as he noticed the car. Not just any car, it belonged to the flea.

Izaya was leaning against the side, facing his apartment. "Good morning, Shizu-chan." Shizuo ignored him, trying to walk past. "Shizu-chan. It's not nice to ignore people." The blond grit his teeth. "It's not nice breaking into other people's apartments either." The flea smirked, probably happy that he had gotten a reply. "I came to pick you up."

Shizuo scowled. "I'll walk." He felt Izaya grab onto his thin wrist. The material bunching up. If the flea was shocked, he didn't show it. "Ne, Shizu-chan. I came all this way to get you." The blond snatched his wrist free. "Get lost flea, unless you want that car on top of you." Izaya's eyes met his, a crimson steady gaze. "I can't do that, Shizu-chan." Shizuo sighed, walking away. He didn't know what Izaya was up to, but he wouldn't be a part of it.

Next:- Either – Precious monster (Izaya) or Everything scrambled (Continuation of Shizuo)


	13. Precious monster

**Precious monster **

_A/N:- Wow. Thank you for all the reviews._

_Rai Rai Blue – I agree with you, I think the summary sucks, it was referring to him becoming a P.A, so I am thinking of changing it, I don't think the title suits it either. But until I make up my mind I'm leaving it or I'll forever be changing it until I'm happy._

_This chapter will be Izaya's information log. If you don't want to read this one and want to stay with Shizuo, skip this chapter. It only acts as an extra, summarising Izaya's feelings._

Just when you think you know everything about your precious humans, they do something unpredictable. I never get tired of their actions. I'm always watching over them. One of my precious humans, stands out from everyone else. Then again, I'm not sure he's entirely human.

How long has it been since I met Shizuo Heiwajima? The blond who always surpasses my expectations, never acting as a good puzzle piece should. He was a challenge, trying to figure out what the protozoan was thinking.

When I opened The Great Orihara Industries, it was me who wanted the blond. Shinra had gone on about a violent blond, with monstrous strength. What a great way to kill time. Shizu-chan was nothing like I expected. His blond hair stood out, apart from that he was quiet and smoked a lot. I thought maybe Shinra had lied to get back at me.

But I treat all my precious humans the same, Shizu-chan was no different. I gave Tom-san, permission to hire the blond, putting him in the admin department. Still there was something different, no matter how normal he acted, I could sense something else under the surface. The feeling grew as he asked Tom-San for a week off every month.

So I watched him, observing his actions, finding out everything about him. Shizu-chan had a mother and father, a brother who was a famous idol and a sister. The protozoan hates me, he avoids me every time, sometimes I deliberately walk past him to see his reaction.

Tom-san's reports say that he gets along well with the others in his team, I thought about putting camera's up, but it's not as much fun as personally seeing my lovely humans. When was it that, I had changed my mind? I started to watch Shizu-chan more closely, my gaze was always drawn to him. Since I was an informant, it was only natural.

I had noticed that he always wore clothes slightly bigger. Anyone else wouldn't have picked it up, but then again, I'm not just anyone. From our 'unexpected' crossings, I learnt to read his moods. If Shizu-chan was in a bad mood, he would arrive late the next morning. If he was in a good mood, he would be early. I timed my arrivals, according to his moods. One more glance, each day helped me understand him better.

It wasn't until Shizu-chan was away again, that I decided about the camera's. I was in a chat room as Kanra, with Tanaka Taro, who was of course Mikado-kun. I was the one who invited him. The teen liked Shizu-chan and was worried that he was sick, of course he hadn't known the blond took time off every month. The way Mikado-kun described the blond, I hadn't yet seen him interact with everyone else.

I had the camera's set up, for when Shizu-chan returned. Of course, I didn't tell anyone, his humans tended to act, when they realized they were being watched. There were two camera's in the admin department, with sound. I can easily see him on the screen. He doesn't talk unless necessary, he sits slightly slouched. When I'm bored, I sit at my desk observing him, making notes on how different he is from my precious humans.

I couldn't resist, so I told him, to see his reaction. One more expression to add to my memory, pure shock. Shizu-chan had stood there unmoving. I was surprised when he pulled Dotachin aside to tell him. Finally after years of watching over him, Shizu-chan showed his strength.

Seeing the camera ripped from the wall like that, sent shivers of excitement through me. Shinra was right. The blond was a monster, he didn't belong in my group of precious humans. Shizu-chan had given me an opening, one I intended to use.

Being so close to him, gave me a chance to observe him more closely. The trousers he wore, was bigger than they needed to be. The shirt bunched up as he walked. At the time I hadn't known why he had chosen to wear a bigger size. I needed to find out why that was.

Namie was annoying me at the time, so it was perfect. I had known what Seji-kun was doing. There's a programme installed, that lets me see what my lovely humans are doing. Namie quit, taking her brother with her, she would be running for a long time.

Ah, the look on Shizu-chan's face, as I told him his new job. Now I had a chance to observe him at a closer distance, he would be in front of me, until I said otherwise. I pushed him, angering him as I gave him orders. It was amusing to see the blond get stressed over coffee, even better to see that satisfied smirk as he put sugar in my drink.

I witnessed his strength personally, as he picked up his desk, with the computer and phone. He had held it above his head, lifting it easily. He didn't struggle or gasp for breath. Shizu-chan's face was clouded with rage. It was exciting and interesting. What could I manipulate him into doing next?

Then came the weekend, where I took a break from being in charge of a company, working as an informant for Shiki-san. I had stepped into the bar, instantly spotting her. I knew as soon as she looked up it was Shizu-chan. She had the same features, exactly the same eyes. I had been watching the blond everyday, studying and recording every expression.

Shizuka as she called herself, wore tight fitting clothes, showing every curve. I could see why Shizu-chan wore loose clothes. I briefly thought that he was a cross dresser, but with a figure like that, the protozoan could easily pass as a woman.

I teased her just a bit, her personality was completely different from Shizu-chan. Shizu-chan was quiet, didn't lash out unless pushed too far and he ignored me. The woman in front of me carried confidence and rage, she was hotheaded and didn't hold back. She had tried to lie about who she was, even showing me a photo shopped picture.

Seeing Shizu-chan like that, I couldn't hold back. Pulling her forward, I sank my teeth into her soft skin, claiming her as mine. Her rage was amazing, her bravery admirable. Who else would start a fight in a club owned by Yakuza? Unfortunately our fun was cut short, by Kasuka-kun. Shizu-chan calmed down, leaving with her expressionless brother.

Shizu-chan had two jobs, one as a man the other as a woman. Why would the blond, go so far to create a new identity? I had missed some information somewhere. When Shizu-chan had come back to work, there was nothing on his neck, I could easily see the difference in colour. I was disappointed, Shizu-chan had thought I would be fooled.

Looking at him again, now that I had met both of them, the differences between their frames stood out. I could see exactly how much bigger his clothes were, trying to bulk himself out. It seemed the blond wasn't as stupid as he had first thought, or maybe it was Kasuka-kun.

Shizu-chan flinched backwards as I reached to brush his neck, it seems he doesn't like others touching him. Instead I checked to see what he was doing, trying to write up a job application. Silly protozoan, he should know, I wasn't planning on returning him to his department.

I had thought of every reason, every possibility of what the blond was hiding. Reverting back to my ways as an informant, I entered my P.A's apartment, he really should get a better lock. Shizu-chan's apartment was neater than I thought it would be. There were two closed doors.

The first room, had a bed, that hadn't been slept in, a chest of draws, with a make-up kit on top and a shattered mirror on the floor. I found the wig in the wardrobe, proof they were the same. I could have left, instead I went into Shizu-chan's bedroom.

His room was neat and tidy, it didn't suit the blond at all. I checked the wardrobe, finding his clothes. Shizu-chan had kept their identities separate. I found the diary, hidden under his pillow. The protozoan had chosen the easiest place to find.

Sitting on the bed, I opened the diary, only a couple of pages had been filled. I was surprised as I read Shizu-chan's secret. Unpredictable as usual, this hadn't been in any of my scenarios. Shizu-chan was intersex. I had stayed where I was, thinking of what I could do with this information. A secret like this, I could've made him do anything I wanted.

It changed as I carried on reading. I rarely hated my precious humans, I couldn't stop the irrational hatred I felt for his parents. Closing the diary and taking it with me, I returned to the office. Shiki-san arrived confirming my suspicion. He knew about Shizu-chan. He hadn't asked for his name, or asked him to leave.

Once I had caught up with my work, I opened a new programme, starting this document. I now knew everything about Shizu-chan, but it's still not enough. I want to see more, observation is no longer enough, I want to touch him and be by his side.

Shizuo Heiwajima – Quiet, seems to be suppressing his anger, doesn't like people touching him. Judging by the shattered mirror and lack of others, he is filled with self hatred. Works Monday to Friday. Ignores me, rather than talking back.

Shizuka Heiwajima/Hanejima – More open, hot headed. Easily angered. Seems to listen to Kasuka-kun. Uses her strength, without holding back. Only works weekends. Kasuka acts overprotective of her. Dotachin has feelings for her?

Izaya finished typing, his log entry up, re-reading the notes he had added. Shizuo was more closed off, he would be harder to get to. Shizuka on the other hand was open and not afraid of anything. He had managed to get past her guard with ease. He would have better luck waiting for the weekend, going after the feminine side first.

Izaya picked up the diary, reading over the blond's handwriting. Making his mind up, he saved the document, shutting the computer down. He would involve himself more closely with the two sides, bringing them together. Shizu-chan was Shizu-chan, he would help him accept who he was.

He had spent too long watching over him, the blond was different from his lovely humans, he was a monster. Izaya's precious monster. Something had changed over time, he could no longer just stand back and watch. Izaya left the office, locking the door behind him. He wondered if returning the diary, would make Shizu-chan lose control, displaying his anger. Either way, something would change. He would make sure of it.

_A/N:- And that was Izaya's summary so far. Next chapter is back to Shizuo._

Next:- Everything scrambled


	14. Everything scrambled

**Everything scrambled**

_A/N:- Thank you for the reviews and now back to Shizuo. Sorry about any grammar mistakes, I can barely stay awake today. Anyway enjoy._

No matter how fast he walked, Izaya kept up with him, slowing the car down, or driving normally. What was the flea playing at? He could feel his gaze on him, making him uncomfortable. Why couldn't the flea leave him alone. "Shizu-chan, I can get there quicker." The blond ignored, looking straight ahead. He had already slipped up, letting Izaya get close enough, to find out.

Shizuo lit another cigarette, carrying on with his power walking, his slim legs, taking wide strides. He wouldn't run, he wasn't giving the flea the satisfaction. Izaya was still next to him, he did his best to tune him out. It was him and his cigarette, a normal morning, walking to work on his own. "Shizu-chan, you're wasting energy. I'm offering you a lift."

But he wouldn't trust him, he wouldn't fall for the flea's manipulation. He wasn't Shizuka right now, he was calm and harder to anger. Though the thought of picking up the expensive looking car and hurling it into TGOI, with him in it was tempting.

He had always hated traffic lights, they changed too slowly when you wanted to cross. This morning he was grateful, Shizuo waited for the light to change, allowing him to cross and making Izaya wait behind the line. Once he reached the other side, he pressed the button again, hoping to keep him there a while longer.

Izaya caught up to him moments later, but by then he was already putting out his cigarette and entering the building. While the flea, would be parking his car, he made his way to the lift, happy to see he was the only one there. He didn't like unnecessary physical contact. It was why he didn't use public transport.

Shizuo pressed the button, that would take him to Izaya's floor. He allowed himself a sigh of relief, leaning against the side. It was short lived, when a shoe held the doors open, before it's owner got in. Crimson eyes fixed on him and he couldn't tell whether Izaya was angry or amused. Most likely amused. "You could have waited for me, Shizu-chan."

Ugh, was this what he had to put up with now? Izaya's constant annoyance. "Shizu-chan, you shouldn't ignore me." How many times had he heard that? Izaya stepped forward, a few centimetres away from him, Shizuo pressed himself against the side. "Don't get so close." Izaya smirked. "Answer me the first time and I won't have to, silly protozoan."

The blond let out a deep breath as the flea, stepped back, giving him his space. Damn it. The lift stopped, the doors opening. He pushed past Izaya, getting out first and keeping his distance. "Shizu-chan, I didn't think you'd be so eager to get to my office?" The flea was smirking at him, crimson eyes twinkling.

"Shut it,flea." Izaya opened the door. "Your manners again, protozoan." Shizuo shook his head, ignoring the comment. He quickly sat at his desk, before the flea could get any closer. Switching on the computer, he waited for it to load, so he could type his password in. Izaya was at his desk, logging into his own. "Shizu-chan."

Yeah, he was used to it now. Izaya wanted coffee. The blond stopped at the flea's desk, reaching for the cup, his fingers brushed against Izaya's, who was still holding the handle. Shizuo pulled back, knowing the flea had done it on purpose. He took a deep breath, snatching the mug from the other's hand, marching into the kitchen. _Good morning my precious..._

Luckily he had missed the announcement again, the less he had to hear Mr god complex's voice the better. Shizuo carried the coffee to Izaya's desk. As he went to place it down, Izaya reached for it, their skin touching. The blond fought back the urge to step back, trying to hand the cup to the flea. Izaya let go since it was too hot, Shizuo could feel the heat and he was holding the handle.

The mug hit the wooden desk, spilling coffee over paperwork and dripping a puddle into Izaya's lap. "Ow!" Shizuo put the mug upright, caught between glaring and concern for his annoying boss. He came back to the desk, with a roll of paper towels from the kitchen. Shizuo handed some to Izaya.

"Shizu-chan's not doing it for me?" The blond scowled, his face slightly pink.

"Do it yourself." Damn flea. Izaya sighed, reaching for the towels. "Shizu-chan is so mean." Yeah, he had heard it all before. Not bothering to reply, he set to cleaning the desk. Once it was done, he took the towels and mug to the kitchen, to make another drink.

He was in the middle of replying to an email, when his phone went off. Izaya glanced up from his desk. "You can answer it, Shizu-chan." He didn't know whether to be happy or disappointed. The blond glanced at his screen, it was his mother. He stood up, ready to leave the office. "Do it here, you wouldn't want my precious humans, thinking you were getting special treatment."

With a low growl, he answered the phone. _Shizuka, dear. How are you? _Shizuo groaned inwardly. "I'm fine." He looked up, seeing if Izaya was watching him. _Have you found anyone yet? _Crimson met his own. "No, you asked me this last week." He kept his voice low, but he knew the flea could hear him perfectly. _I know dear, but a lot can change in a week. _Just like they went through a similar conversation every week.

_Did you go to the doctors? _No, he couldn't talk about this in front of the flea. "Yes, sorry mother I have to go." The voice on the other end carried on. _What did they say? _Shizuo froze, he couldn't say it. Not while Izaya was listening. _Shizuka? Honestly dear, it's nothing to be shy about. _It was embarrassing, taking the pill would be another thing to prove, he wasn't a normal male.

"I have to go, mother." He cut the call, knowing that wasn't the end of the conversation. He turned to glare at the flea,stepping back from his unwavering gaze. Shizuo put the phone back in his pocket, pretending nothing had happened. Izaya said nothing, he had made sure to answer the best he could.

An hour before lunch, Izaya had decided he was bored. Shizuo was currently watching his department on the cctv. Kadota looked down, not saying anything. Erika and Walker were talking among themselves. "When can I go back to my department?" Izaya looked away from the screen. "Once I have a replacement, silly Shizu-chan." Shizuo watched his team, for a few minutes more.

"What do you want? Flea." It didn't make any sense. Why was he so fixed on messing with him? "What do you mean? Shizu-chan." Shizuo shook his head. "Why me? Why am I the only one?" Izaya was quiet, ignoring him for once. "Izaya!" The flea smirked. "You finally said my name." Ugh. He really needed a cigarette. "Shizu-chan stops me getting bored."

That was it? He was there for entertainment? "Can't you pick someone else?" His boss shrugged. "It has to be, Shizu-chan." Why? Why did it have to be him? "Then how can I go back to my department?" He waited for Izaya to answer him, when he didn't, Shizuo sighed, leaving the office.

The blond stood outside the building, inhaling his cigarette and breathing out. He wasn't going back until after lunch. He waited for the trio at the entrance. "Shizu-chan." Erika smiled, waving at him,even though she was right in front him. "How's Iza-Iza been?" She had two books in her hand, while walker carried seven, in his arms. Shizuo nodded to Kadota, he couldn't blame his work colleague, for falling for Shizuka. "Kadota." The other nodded back. "Shizuo." Erika was squealing as she unwrapped a sealed book. They made their way over to their usual café, it was Walker's turn to order."

"Shizu-chan, where's your sister?" Shizuo shrugged. "She does what she likes." Karisawa stopped fiddling with the book. "Dotachin has been trying to call her, she's not picking up and she hasn't replied to his texts." Shizuo glanced over at Kadota. "Knowing her, you won't get a reply until the weekend."

Kadota nodded, but he still didn't look any happier. "You said it was okay, Shizuo. Does she have a boyfriend?" The blond shook his head, making Kodota smile. "Is she in love with anyone?" Again he shook his head. Kadota took his phone out and started texting.

The rest of lunch passes quickly. Walker and Karisawa, were talking about manga as always,while he and Kadota were talking about Izaya and Shizuka. Not that he was comfortable with either subject. Shizuo looked outside, to see Izaya's car outside. At least he wouldn't be breaking into his apartment again.

Shizuo smiled as he headed back to the building with the rest of his department."See you tomorrow, Shizu-chan." The blond nodded getting into the lift. He waits for it to get to the correct floor, before stepping out. Izaya looks up as he comes in. He doesn't say anything, so Shizuo sits back at his desk. "Ne, Shizu-chan. Do you really want to go back and stay with my precious humans?"

Shizuo nods without hesitation. Izaya sighs, looking at the cctv footage. "Okay." The blond froze, his fingers above the keys, in the middle of typing his password. "What's the catch?" He wasn't stupid, he refused to be manipulated. Izaya smirked. "You accept a lift to work, every morning and a lift home." The blond sighed. Less than hour with Izaya or the whole day?

"Fine." The smirk widened. "Since I don't have a P.A. I'll call you if I need you." Who knew how many times he would annoy the blond. "Still want to go back, Shizu-chan?" The blond nodded. The smirk faded, before it re-appeared. "You can go back, next Monday." Shizuo smiled at the screen. He only had to stay up here until the end of the week. "Shizu-chan, coffee."

Although he had said next week, Izaya was starting his request today. Shizuo logged off, waiting for the flea to do the same, since he would be driving him home. The flea was taking his time, his gaze never leaving the blond. "Ready? Shizu-chan." He had been for the past five minutes. He followed Izaya from the office, keeping a safe distance between them.

This time the lift wasn't empty, there were a few other employees, in there with them. Shizuo kept to the corner, Izaya standing close to him, but not too close. Together they walked out of the building. Izaya led him to the car, opening the door for him. "I can do it myself." Izaya raised an eyebrow. The blond let himself sink into the leather seat.

Izaya stood there staring, as he shut the door, going around to his side. Shizuo looked away, focusing on doing his seat belt up. The flea started up the engine, sending the car forward. They didn't say a word to each other, making him wonder why Izaya wanted him in the car in the first place.

He sat there staring out of the window or down at his hands. He could occasionally feel Izaya watching him, but he still didn't say anything. The flea pulled up outside of his apartment, making him want to smack his head against the dashboard. A woman with the same colour hair as Kasuka stood outside his apartment. He groaned as he recognized her. It was his mother, someone else he shouldn't ignore. "That wasn't so bad, was it? Shizu-chan." Shizuo ignored him, trying to see if anyone else was with her.

Izaya's face was close to his, as he moved forward. "Don't ignore me, Shizu-chan." The blond threw himself back in his seat, undoing his seat belt. "See you tomorrow, Shizu-chan." Shizuo got out of the car, closing the door behind him. He waited until the flea had driven off, before walking to the door.

"Mother, what are you doing here?" He could guess why. "Shizuka, dear. Who was that just now?" Shizuo inwardly cursed. "My boss. Why are you here?" He unlocked the door, letting her in. "To continue our earlier conversation. Do you like him?" She had seen the flea once and she was already matchmaking. "No. I hate him." His mother smiled. "There's a thin line between love and hate, Shizuka."

Shizuo shook his head, searching for the prescription that Shizuka had been given. He finally found it, handing it to his mother. "I'll pick these up for you dear. You can get them, when you come to dinner on Saturday." Shizuo sighed. "I'll be busy as Shizuka, I can pick them up on Saturday." His mother shook her head.

"You haven't been home in ages, Shizuka. It's time you stared thinking about the future." Oh no, she was going into full matchmaking mode. "Bring that man with you, I'd like to meet him. You need to think about settling down. I want grandchildren, before I get too old." Shizuo clenched his fist. "Mother -" She cut him off, taking the prescription. "No excuses, dear. I expect to see you on Saturday." His mother made her way from the apartment. Shizuo groaned, throwing himself, down on the sofa. He shouldn't have ignored her.

Shizuo started on dinner, while checking his phone. The first was from Ryyugamine. _Hi Heiwajima-san. What's the office like without us? _Shizuo smiled. The second was from Kasuka. _Nii-san, have you eaten today? _The last one was from Karisawa. _Shizu-chan. Kadota really likes Shizuka. Can you do something? _The blond groaned at that one.

He replied to Ryugamine's text, since it was the quickest. "It's quieter, Izaya wants you two back after you finish school."

Next was Kasuka, instead of replying, he dialled his brother's number. Shizuo listened to the options as it went to voice mail. "Kasuka. I'm making dinner now, don't worry so much about me, everything is fine. Will you be back in time for the dinner on Saturday?" He ended the call, reading the last message again.

He should leave it, Shizuka would deal with it at the weekend. But he remembered the look n Kadota's face. Damn it. The blond turned down the heat, heading for his brother's room. Rummaging through the draw, he did what he had promised himself not to do. Shizuo and Shizuka were two separate people, living two separate lives. That was how it was meant to be.

Shizuo turned on Shizuka's phone, waiting for the messages to pop up. There were five from Kadota and three missed calls. He stared at the screen wondering what he should do. He couldn't lead him on, but he couldn't break his work mate's heart. Damn it. He made his way back to the kitchen, seeing that his dinner was ruined as well. Ugh. He needed a cigarette.

Next:- Collision course


	15. Collision course

**Collision course**

_A/N: Thank you for the reviews. _

_Rai Rai Blue – Shizuo doesn't have an eating disorder. It's more the case he can't cook and Kasuka doesn't want him eating from a convenience store._

_The Fujoshi – Ah, this one is hard to answer. It will be both, but Izaya is attempting to seduce both of them, in their double lives. I hope that makes sense._

_And onto the next chapter. Enjoy._

What now? It was getting late and he still didn't know what to do. He should text Kadota back, if his work colleague was depressed because of it, it should be okay. The only problem was, he would be breaking his own rules. Shizuka wasn't supposed to be out until the weekend. He had made sure they were both different. Though Shizuka was automatic, he didn't know how to act like her.

He could text back, but it would be from him and not Shizuka. Shizuo read through the first message. _Hi Shizuka, we met at the bar yesterday. Let me know when you're free. _Shizuo sighed, he could easily answer it. He scrolled through the last message. _It's me, I wasn't sure if you got my last messages. Can you maybe give me a call? _That was out of the question, he wasn't spending ages getting ready, for one phone call.

Placing Shizuka's phone on the table he took out his own, replying to Karisawa's message. It was a lie, but then again he had been lying to everyone. _Shizuka lost her phone, she won't be available until Saturday. Kadota could go to the club. _He re-read the message, taking a breath before clicking send. It was an excuse, a way to stall. Now it really was Shizuka's problem.

He thought about crushing Shizuka's phone, making his excuse real. If Shizuka took her phone with her at the weekend, it would let Kadota know she was lying. Or she could say she had left it at the bar. After all Shizuka only worked on weekends.Shizuo turned her phone off, putting it back where he had found it. For the time being everything would be okay until the weekend.

Now he had to deal with his mother, as usual she hadn't let him make his own decisions. Shizuka had to go to the 'family dinner' not that it could be called that. Kasuka might not be there, his mother wanted Izaya there, no way that was happening. He wouldn't be inviting the flea. Then there was his father, as soon as he saw Shizuka, he would leave the room, treating her like she wasn't there or that she didn't exist.

If they had chosen a weekday, he would sit and eat, acting like a father. Kasuka hadn't replied to his voicemail, s he didn't know what would happen. His mother didn't know who had been in the car, maybe he could pick someone else. Maybe he could ask Shinra, he already had Celty and his mother would leave him alone.

Shizuo sighed, switching off his own phone. He had wasted hours, thinking about his double life. It was getting late. Leaving both phones on the table he headed to the bedroom. As soon as his head hit the pillow he was asleep.

The next morning, he too his time getting ready. Shizuo had just finished getting dressed, when there was a knock at the door. He knew immediately who it was. Running a hand through his hair, he opened the door. Standing there with that annoying smirk, was Izaya.

"Good morning, Shizu-chan." Shizuo sighed. He could shut the door in his face or let him in. He didn't have any more secrets. "I haven't eaten yet." The smirk stayed where it was. "I'll wait here." Shizuo shook his head. "Wait in the car." Izaya stayed where he was. The blond sighed, he should have slammed the door. Instead he left the door open, heading back to the kitchen.

Izaya took it as an invitation, following him in. Shizuo looked up, to find him in the kitchen. Without a word, he boiled the kettle, making himself a glass of milk and some toast. Once the kettle had finished boiling, he placed a cup of coffee on the table, sitting down to eat his breakfast.

"Shizu-chan, made me a drink." He ignored Izaya, not looking up as the other chair was pulled back, his boss sitting opposite him. "Don't ignore me, Shizu-chan." The blond recoiled as he felt Izaya's foot touch his leg. "Shut up, I let you in because the neighbours would ask questions." Izaya smiled at him, taking a sip of his coffee. He had fallen for his manipulation again. He finished his toast quickly, feeling Izaya's gaze on him, his legs were safely out of reach.

Once he was done, he drained his glass of milk, putting the dishes in the sink. Izaya was taking his time on his coffee. "Hurry up, flea." His boss got up from the chair, carrying his own cup to the sink. He shuddered as Izaya reached his arm over, brushing against his own. "We should go now, Shizu-chan." Shizuo shook his head. Apart from the occasional teasing, they hardly spoke. The blond ignored him every time, so why would he waste time, sitting in his apartment?

Izaya was already standing by the open door waiting for him. Shizuo grabbed his phone off the table, following after him. He still didn't know what the flea was up to. He scowled as Izaya held the car door open for him. He could do it himself. Sitting in the passengers seat, he closed the door, putting on his seat belt. Izaya got in next to him. What was the point of all of this? Was it to keep an eye on him.

He was sure the flea was messing with him, being more annoying than usual. Izaya drove slowly, taking his time. Shizuo sighed, looking out of the window. Did he have to do this everyday? Izaya pulled up outside the building. Shizuo undid his seat belt, getting out of the car. Izaya followed locking it up. He took a cigarette from his pocket, lighting it up.

For a few second he thought Izaya was waiting for him, before he made his way into the building. At least he had his privacy to smoke. How much was the flea planning to involve himself? He was now picking him up and taking him home. He still worked as his P.A for the rest of the week and somehow they had breakfast together. He was letting Izaya get dangerously close.

He breathed out a long line of smoke, his thoughts still on Izaya. Shizuo knew he hadn't let his guard down, yet the flea was managing to get through. He put out the rest of his cigartte, heading to the lift. Next week, he wouldn't have to deal with the flea so much. He could deal with being in his car, rather than stay with him in his office all day.

Whilst he was in the lift, he could hear the loud noise, signalling the start of Izaya's announcement. _Good morning, my lovely humans. We are half way through the week.. Work hard and If you have any problems you can come and see me or my lovely P.A Shizu-chan. _The blond coughed, making the few people in the lift with him look up. That was what Izaya had been saying everyday? Damn flea.

He pushed the door to the office open, glaring at Izaya. "You took your time, Shizu-chan." The blond settled at his desk. "Shizu-chan." He was already out of his seat. "I know." He took the flea's cup, heading for the kitchen. "Are you sure you don't want to be my P.A.?" Shizuo ignored him walking away. He glimpsed Izaya getting ready to get up. "I'll be glad when this week is over." Izaya sighed, sitting back down.

Shizuo sighed in relief, he would have to make sure to answer Izaya. Every time he ignored him, the flea used it as an excuse to get close to him. The blond placed the coffee on the desk, away from Izaya's waiting hands. He didn't need another accident like yesterday.

The blond finished his work easily he had gotten used to juggling his work and Izaya's annoying demands. The flea was typing at his own computer, occasionally watching the cctv recordings. He left it on his department. He could hear, Walker and Karisawa laughing and talking excitedly. It sounded like they had a new anime to watch.

Soon it was lunch time, he logged off, getting up from his seat. Izaya was watching him again. "You're going to lunch, Shizu-chan?" The blond sighed, the flea knew where he was going. "Yes." Izaya smirked, getting up. "I'm going to get something. Do you want to come?" Lunch with Izaya? Pass. "I'm going with the others."

Izaya shrugged, following him to the lift. he was watching him again. They waited, not saying anything as the doors opened on the ground floor. He wondered why the flea was silent for once. He should have known. The trio was waiting for him outside the entrance. "Shizu-chan." Erika smiled at him, as did walker and Kadota nodded. Well he seemed in a better mood.

"Shizu-chan." The other three in the group had noticed Izaya standing beside him now. "I'm going to Russian Sushi. Do you want to come?" The blond blinked, the flea had already asked him. Why would he change his answer? "Eh? Iza-Iza likes Sushi?" Oh. Damn it. Erika was smiling her eyes sparkling as she glanced between the two of them.

"Fatty tuna is the best. Did you want to come?" Erika squealed. Kadota gave him a look, Shizuo sighed, helplessly. Izaya had gotten Erika on side. The most stubborn one out of the team. Izaya looked up at him, crimson eyes dancing. "Are you coming? Shizu-chan?" Damn it. Kadota and Walker climbed into the back of the car, with Erika sitting between them. Leaving Shizuo to sit in the passenger seat.

Shizuo rarely went to Russian Sushi. He preferred his cakes. He sat in silence, looking out of the window. Erika was talking to Walker, while Kadota was silent. Izaya had that damn smirk on his face. What would it take for the flea to leave him alone. "Shizu-chan. Is Shizu-Shizu working on Friday?"

The blond froze, his arm leaning on the window. Kadota had sat up, now that they were talking about his crush. "No. As far as I know, it's Saturday night and Sunday morning." Erika nodded, turning to Kadota. "Dotachin, why don't you go Saturday night?" He shifted his position. Wishing he wasn't with the trio, especially with Izaya in the car. "I can go on Sunday." There was a small pause. "Shizuo, are you sure you're okay with me asking your sister out?"

No, he wasn't. Kadota was going to get hurt. There was a chance of him finding out and everything collapsing. "She has nothing to do with me." Kadota nodded. "You two really don't get along?" The blond sighed. "We never have." His work mate left it at that. Izaya parked the car outside, letting them all climb out. Shizuo was one of the last. "It would have been better if you had said no, Shizu-chan." It was muttered under Izaya's breath, but he heard it.

He knew Izaya was right, not that he would admit it. If he had said, Shizuka had a boyfriend from the start, it would have been left alone. Kadota would give up and move on. "Buy Sushi, Sushi good." They walked past Simon outside, trying to sell Sushi. The flea led them to the back table. Karisawa, Walker and Kadota sat on one side, leaving him and Izaya sitting next to each other. The flea had decided to pay for everyone's lunch. He got up to order for them. "Why is he here?" Shizuo shrugged. "You could have said no." Kadota shook his head. "He's our boss. I like having a job."

"Iza-Iza is making an effort for Shizu-chan." Erika's eyes were gleaming. Walker joined in. "He's paying. We get a free lunch." So the only one on his side was Kadota. He ignored Karisawa's comment. Izaya was messing with him again.

Izaya sat down next to him, a receipt in his hand. Erika was smiling. "We should have invited Mika-pon." Kadota shook his head. "They aren't supposed to leave during lunch." Erika nodded. "It would be nice to see them again." Her smile was back as she turned her attention to Izaya. "Iza-Iza. Will Mika-pon be coming back?"

Shizuo tuned them out, talking with Kadota. "We haven't liked each other, since I can remember." They were back to talking about Shizuka. "She hasn't answered any of my calls." Shizuo paused. "Karisawa didn't give you the message?" Erika stopped talking at the mention of her name. "Ah, Dotachin. Shizu-Shizu lost her phone." Kadota seemed to relax. "So she's not avoiding me?" The blond shrugged.

Their sushi arrived, everyone reaching for what they ordered. He had the same as the flea. Shizuo blinked at how happy Izaya looked. He was biting into it, like it was the most delicious thing in the world. Shizuo tasted his own, it wasn't sweet enough, but he ate it anyway. He could feel someone watching him again, turning to glare at Izaya.

Izaya had another two pieces before everyone had finished. They got back into the car. "That was delicious." Erika was smiling. Kodota nodded. "It's better than the café everyday." The flea started the car, taking them back to the office. Why was Izaya getting involved? What was point of taking them to lunch? He didn't get it.

"See you later, Iza-Iza, Shizu-chan." Erika waved at them as they got into the lift. "Shizu-chan?" The blond ignored him. "Shizu-chan . Are you ignoring me?" The blond glared at him, to stop him coming any closer. "What do I have to do, for you to leave me alone?" Izaya smirked. "There's nothing you can do, Shizu-chan.."

Next:- Accidents and coincidences


	16. Accidents and coincidences

**Accidents and coincidences**

_A/N: Thank you for the reviews. There will be a little smut in the next chapter. We all know what Izaya is like when he wants something. _

_The Fujoshi:- Please do, there needs to be more Izuo._

_And onto the next chapter. Enjoy._

Nothing he could do. What did that mean? Was Izaya going to continue messing with him? Wasn't it enough, that he knew his secret? The lift reached their floor, letting them out. "What do you mean?" He was walking slowly behind Izaya. The flea looked over his shoulder. "At the moment, you wouldn't understand, Shizu-chan." So he was calling him stupid?

Izaya opened the door, letting him in. He sat at his desk, the flea stayed by the door. "You look like you want to say something, Shizu-chan." The blond ignored him, making Izaya get closer. "Why are you always holding back?" The blond froze. It was a question with too many answers. "Shizu-chan?" Shizuo got up, moving around him. "You want a coffee, right?" He could feel Izaya's gaze on him.

"I want an answer, Shizu-chan." Why was he being do damn persistent? Shizuo turned on the tap to fill up the kettle. He put the kettle back, as water sprayed everywhere. "Damn it." He tried turning the tap off, it didn't do anything. "Can't you turn off the tap? Shizu-chan." He was making fun of him again. "It's broken." Which one was he referring to, him or the tap? He had just given Izaya the answer to both questions.

"Try turning it again." Shizuo glared at Izaya, standing in the door way. He tried again, the damn think snapping off in his hand. Water now sprayed everywhere, he reached over clamping his hands over the broken part, water filtered through the gaps between his fingers, spraying over him. He cursed as he felt his clothes stick to him. "Wait here, Shizu-chan." What else could he do?

After minutes of getting drenched, the water finally stopped. Hesitantly he let go, nothing happened. He let out a sigh of relief, glancing down in horror at the state of his clothes. His shirt was soaked, clinging to him perfectly, you could see every outline of his torso. Shizuo grit his teeth, feeling his trousers the same way. His hair was flattened, droplets of water running down his face. He looked like he had just come from a thunderstorm without using an umbrella.

"Shizu-chan. They switched the water off." He was panicking inside as Izaya came back into the office. The voice got louder as he stood at the doorway. "You got soaked, Shizu-chan." Shizuo stayed where he was, not moving. What did he do now? If anyone saw him like this... "Shizu-chan?" He tried not to flinch as he felt Izaya's hand on his shoulder.

The flea pulled his shoulder, forcing him to turn around. Izaya was staring at his current state. Shizuo wished the ground would swallow him. You can finally see what a freak I am. "You should get changed, before you catch a cold. Shizu-chan." He didn't think he'd need anything. "I'll drop you off home."

For once the blond felt grateful to the flea. He couldn't stand here or sit at his desk, in his soaked clothes. He tried covering himself with his suit jacket. It was as wet as the rest of him. Instead, he took it off, holding it in front of him. "Thanks." Izaya smirked. "Shizu-chan is thanking me?" The blond ignored him, trying to peel his clothes from his skin, at least so his body shape wasn't noticeable.

He followed Izaya into the lift, pleading that no one else saw him like this. Izaya looked like he wanted to say something, but he was keeping quiet, just watching him. The lift opened at ground floor, The flea, made his way out of the building, unlocking the car. Shizuo followed tuning out everyone around him. He climbed into the passenger seat, closing the door. No one had said anything to him.

He leaned against the window, giving up on his clothes, they had decided to act like a second skin. Izaya turned the corner, taking a road he hadn't seen. It was different from the route Izaya took him home. "This isn't to my apartment." The flea nodded. "I'm not going to you apartment." The blond turned to him, knowing he had been tricked. "You lied." Izaya smirked, shaking his head. "I said I'd take you home, Shizu-chan. I never said who's.

Damn flea, but right now, he couldn't get out of the car. Not in his state. No doubt Izaya knew that. He sighed in resignation, knowing there was no way out. "I hope you see Shizuka again." So she could wipe that smug look off his face. "Is that an invitation? Shizu-chan." The blond ignored him, looking out of the window.

Izaya pulled into a car park, reversing into a reserved space. He stopped the car, Shizuo opened the door getting out. Where was he? Izaya locked the doors, moving past him. "This way, Shizu-chan." He had no choice other, than to follow the flea. They got into a lift, taking them up to the top floor. Mr god complex loved his heights. "Here we are."

Izaya unlocked the door, letting him in. Shizuo resisted the urge to throw him through the large window. The flea had manipulated him into coming here. He looked around the room, it was cleaner than Izaya's office. There was a large tv on the wall, probably watching the whole of tokyo. He wouldn't put it past him. There was a bookcase on either side, all the shelves were filled.

The large window was the same as the office, as was the desk in front of it. A black corner unit was spread out, a distance away from the tv. A glass coffee table was between them, what looked like a chessboard sat on top, from here it looked like pieces of different games. "Don't just stand there, Shizu-chan." Izaya made sure he was in the room, before closing the door.

"Bathroom is up the stairs." Wait what? He could barely stand to shower in his own apartment, let alone anyone else's. "Leave your clothes, outside the door." Izaya tuned around to face him. "Shizu-chan?" Ugh, what should he do? "Do you need help getting changed?" Damn it. Leave the sofa where it was.

"What do I wear for the time being?" Izaya moved past him, up the stairs. He returned with a towel and a dressing gown, one that looked like it would fit him. "Shizu-chan, you're getting my carpet wet." The blond looked down at the small mark on the floor. Since he had no choice. Somehow Izaya was behind that water incident. He forced his temper down, heading up the stairs.

Once he was behind the door, he took deep breaths, taking off one piece of clothing at a time. He didn't look down at his figure. Shizuo scooped up his work uniform, dumping it outside the door. Checking the door was locked, he got into the shower.

The hot water felt good, much better than the ice cold shower, that had brought him here. He picked a point out on the wall, staring at it, while he ran the cloth over his body. Baths were a lot easier to deal with. Once his skin had warmed up, he reached up turning the shower off. He was half expecting it to break, like the one in the office kitchen.

Shizuo sighed in relief as it turned off. Stepping out of the shower, he reached over to grab the towel, his whole body tensing. He was standing in front of a full body mirror, he should have known the flea would have one. The blond could see his reflection clearly. His long but thin arms, his flat chest, thin stomach,his male part, slim hairless legs and tiny feet. He could see the anger in his eyes, the confusion. It was wrong. All wrong. He scrunched his eyes up, even as he knew what he had done.

The shattering sound that filled the bathroom, told him something had broke. The pain in his hand, told him he was the one who broke it. Sure enough, when he opened his eyes, he couldn't see his reflection, the top half of the mirror had been shattered. The pieces now laying on the floor. He tried to calm his breathing, how was he going to explain this to the flea?

Speak of the devil. "Shizu-chan? Did you break something?" Izaya was standing outside the door. He ignored him, he couldn't trust himself to speak. Besides the door was lock-. He heard rattling, before the door swung open, the flea standing in the doorway. Crimson eyes taking in the damage.

"Shizu-chan." He wondered how he must look, standing in front of a broken mirror, completely naked, blood dripping from his fist. "Sorry, about the mirror." Izaya moved away from the door frame, coming closer. He moved the broken pieces out of the way, standing back up. "Seven years bad luck, Shizu-chan."

Shizuo watched as Izaya wrapped ,the towel around his hand, throwing the dressing gown around him. Taking his other hand he led him to the room opposite. It looked like it was Izaya's bedroom. There was a wardrobe against the wall, the flea's bed filled most of the room, a large famed picture of what looked like warrior women on horse back.

Izaya let his hand go, moving past him. "Stay there, Shizu-chan." What was he a dog? But he could tell Izaya was trying to help him. He shouldn't have lost control, he shouldn't have smashed the mirror. Shizuo sat down on the bed, his mind full of self loathing again.

He looked up as the flea, came back into the room carrying a first aid kit. Shizuo reached out his other hand, he could take care of it himself. Izaya placed it on the bed, unwrapping the towel. "Does it hurt? Shizu-chan." He didn't answer. His hand was red, a couple of splinters sticking out of his hand. "Don't ignore me, Shizu-chan."

He didn't wince as Izaya pulled the pieces out, they were small, but had gotten stuck, between the flesh of his knuckles. His wounds started bleeding. Shizuo hissed as the antiseptic, was put on. He looked away, as crimson eyes, met his own. Once his hand was cleaned and disinfected, the flea took his hand, wrapping a bandage around it. "Thanks."

Izaya was still holding his bandaged hand. "Do you do that a lot? Shizu-chan." Of all people it had to be the damn flea, asking questions. "No. I don't have any mirrors in my apartment." Izaya's eyes darkened, he may have said too much. "Shizu-chan, doesn't like his reflection?" How much should he tell him? How much wouldn't be used against him?

"Shizu-chan?" The blond was looking down at his hand. Slowly he shook his head. Izaya rested a hand on his knee, making him remember, he was still naked, in front of Izaya. "Don't." Shizuo brushed the flea's hand away. "Shizu-chan, doesn't like being touched?" The blond sighed. "Can you leave it?"

"I can't do that. I told you before I wanted to help." But the flea had been teasing him. "Let me in, Shizu-chan." He knew about his double life, the diary and now he knew how much he hated his reflection and what his body looked like. He didn't have any secrets from him. Izaya practically knew everything.

Izaya had known what he was for three days, but his attitude hadn't changed. If anything he had tried to get closer. He hadn't treated him any differently, he still bossed him around. But he hadn't brought his gender issue up at all.

Did he really want to help? Or was this a way to mess with him? He looked up, his gaze meeting Izaya's. Neither one looked away. The flea was the first one outside his family, apart from Shiki, who knew. Should he trust him?

Next:- Learning to trust


	17. Learning to trust

**Learning to trust**

_A/N:- Thank you for the reviews. And onto the next bit. This one contains a bit of smut. Enjoy._

All he could do was stare at the flea. Could he trust him? The flea hadn't given him a reason to. "Shizu-chan?" The whole time he had been following after him, what did he have to gain. The blond lowered his head, closing his eyes. "What game are you playing?" He flinched as Izaya lifted his chin, forcing their eyes to meet. "I'm not, Shizu-chan."

He could see it, Izaya was letting him see, that he cared. But he knew that he was a monster. _Shizu-chan is Shizu-chan. _The flea had said that. Those words had stuck into his head. Izaya knew what he was and had accepted him. Why was it under everything, he felt like he should trust him? _I can't do that, Shizu-chan. _ He still didn't understand those words.

He had thought the flea was going to continue messing with him. But what if that wasn't the case? The flea still hadn't broken their gaze. "Shizu-chan." The blond sighed. There was too much doubt, which meant Izaya wasn't as bad as he had thought. Just annoying. Though, if he was wrong...

"Fine." He turned his head looking away. "Shizu-chan?" Was he really going to drag this out? "I said...fine. I'll try and trust you." He thought he might have made a mistake as the words slipped from his mouth. The flea's smirk was back, but it looked more like a smile. It was rare that he saw a smile, especially from the people around him.

"Can I see then?" No, it was definitely a mistake. "What?" He flinched as Izaya rested his fingers against his leg, it didn't go unnoticed. "What you think makes you different. Show me, Shizu-chan." He was naked in Izaya's bedroom, on his bed. How did it end up like this? "No, go away flea." He tried brushing Izaya's hand away, but the other was too quick.

Instead he felt the warm palm against his chest. His mind short circuited. Why was the flea okay with touching him? Why did his stupid body feel so sensitive? One touch and his body felt strange, maybe it was because no one had touched him "Don't touch me!" He pushed the flea back, wincing as he hit the wall. He really was a monster.

Crimson eyes stared up at him, making him back away. Why was the flea's gaze, so straightforward, he was looking through him again. "Shizu-chan, really doesn't like to be touched." Shizuo couldn't say that he deserved it, Izaya had only been trying to help, or so he said. "Do you want to take care of that?"

The blond wondered what he was talking about. He followed where Izaya was looking, his face paling. He was hard, but that didn't happen. He found anything to do, with his own body disgusting. So why was his lower half standing? Now what did he do? He could feel Izaya watching him. He was always watching him, seeing what he was doing.

"Shizu-chan?" Izaya was standing over him. "Stay back, flea. I'll use the shower again." Izaya's hand rested on his shoulder, pushing him back down, as he tried to stand. "Why would you need to shower? Shizu-chan." He could feel his eyes, burning into his head. "You've never touched yourself before." He tried standing again. "Shut up."

No, he had never felt like this before. He had never needed to. All he had ever felt was disgust and wrong. Who he was, what he was, felt wrong. "Let me show you, Shizu-chan." That smirk was back, He could feel Izaya's hand on his abdomen. "Look, Shizu-chan." He didn't want to. He should have stayed in his drenched clothes.

He let himself drop to the bed, Izaya moving his fingers up his length. He shuddered at the new sensations, his body had never felt. "Look at what I'm doing, Shizu-chan." He looked away, ignoring him, trying not to notice, the new feeling trickling through his body.

His chin was cupped roughly, making him want to punch the damn flea. Shizuo was forced to look down at Izaya's hand, what it was doing to his male anatomy. The flea's fingers did nothing but trail up and down, before his fingers curled around him, squeezing lightly. "Get off me." The damn flea, ignored him, moving his hand slowly up and down.

His body was feeling weird, was this something new? He could feel something tighten in his stomach. "Nn." His hand flew to his mouth. He hated being touched, so why would he moan like that? Why did Izaya touching him, feel good? The feeling was getting worse. "Izaya. Stop." His voice came out different, there was something wrong with his breathing.

"Cum for me, Shizu-chan." The flea's hand moved faster, his thumb touching the tip. "Ngh." He bit his lip, as the feeling became two much, his eyes closed as he let go. What was that? That feeling. He lay back on the bed, trying to calm down. "That's thick, Shizu-chan." He didn't get what Izaya meant. Wasn't this normal? Or was there something else wrong with him?

He couldn't bear to look at the flea any more, he closed his eyes, trying to calm himself. He felt a hand on his thigh, moving to sit up, as it was moved slightly apart. "So this is what makes, Shizu-chan different?" The blond flushed, no one had seen that place, not even Kasuka. "Don't touch it." He gripped Izaya's wrist pulling him away.

"Shizu-chan. You're going to break it." He could see the slight look of pain in the flea's eyes. He quickly let go, feeling like the monster he was. Shizuo strode from the room, closing the bathroom door. He needed another shower.

He stepped under the spray of water, washing off his first release. His head rested against the tiles. He shouldn't have done that, it wasn't right, his body was wrong. It should have felt disgusting. But he had enjoyed it, the feel of Izaya's warm hand. He had liked it, part of him wanting more. It shouldn't be that way.

Once he had made sure he was clean, most of his self pity, lost in the spray, he wrapped the towel around him, being mindful of the broken shards of the mirror and what was left of it. He took a deep breath, before opening the door. Izaya's bedroom was empty. He had no clothes. Was he really expected to walk around the apartment like this? Damn flea.

Gripping the towel tightly, he made his way down the stairs. "Izaya?" His boss came out from the kitchen. "Shizu-chan. You didn't break anything else?" The blond sighed. Should he be trusting someone like this? "Shut up. Where's my clothes." Izaya smirked. "Why would I give them back to you?

He could feel his anger building again, he shoved it down, keeping it suppressed. Izaya disappeared into another room, coming back with his clothes. Shizuo took them in one hand, the other holding the towel. He made his way back, upstairs into Izaya's room, dumping them on the bed. He quickly got dressed, covering up his naked body.

"Oi, flea. Are you going to take me home?" The flea looked up. "You can stay here, Shizu-chan." The blond shook his head. There was no way he was staying here. "No w-" He was cut off as Izaya took a phone from his pocket, which he recognised as his own. "Hello?" How did he manage to sound so happy over the phone?

"Ah, Kasuka-kun. Shizu-chan has just come out of the shower." Shizuo gaped, taking the phone. What was he planning now? "Kasuka." Izaya was smirking at him. _Nii-san, who was that? _How did he answer that one? _It was Orihara-san, wasn't it? _Ah, he had forgotten that they had met. But would he really lie to his brother? No. "Yeah."

There was a sigh on the other end. _Be careful around him, nii-san. What will you do if he finds out? _It was a bit late for that, but maybe he was a little glad. "I will." Izaya was still watching him. _Have you eaten yet? _Shizuo smiled, it was always the same questions, making sure he was okay. "Not yet. I'll have something in a bit."

_Make sure you do. I got your message, nii-san and mum called me. _Here we go, he hadn't forgotten about the family dinner. _I'm still filming that day, I won't be able to come. _So it would just be Shizuka and their mother. _Nii-san, mum says you're bringing someone with you. _There was a pause on the other end. _Is it Orihara-san? _The blond sighed. "I'm not taking anyone." He didn't want to get any closer than they already were. _That's good. Goodnight nii-san. _Shizuo smiled. "Good night, Kasuka."

He hung up the call, glaring at Izaya. "Shizu-chan, does know how to smile." Stay calm, breath. "Can you take me home now?" The flea shook his head. "Stay here, I've made dinner." The blond tuned away, he could find his own way back. "Are you going to break your promise to Kasuka-kun?" That did it, his shoulder dropped. He didn't know the way back, most likely he would be wondering around the whole night.

He sat down opposite the flea. "What do you think? Shizu-chan." The blond swallowed his mouthful. It was a lot better than his attempt. "It's fine." He didn't want the flea's head getting any bigger. "I didn't know you could cook." Izaya smirked. "Is Shizu-chan curious about me?" The blond ignored him, eating his food. Izaya surprisingly was a good cook.

"I make my own food, Shizu-chan. The amount of times, Namie has tried to poison me." He probably deserved it. "Where am I sleeping?" He put his plate to one side, watching as Izaya put it in the sink. "My bed, silly protozoan." He hadn't expected that. "Then where are you sleeping?" Izaya smirked. "My bed."

Shizuo shook his head. "I'll take the couch." He got up, when Izaya spoke. "No, Shizu-chan has to be in the same room. Who knows what else you'll break." Keep calm. "Fine, I'll sleep on the floor." He made his way upstairs, to Izaya's bedroom. There was enough space on the floor. He took two of the pillows, from the bed, placing them on the floor. He left the covers where they were. He was fine sleeping without them.

He lay down on the floor, staring up at the ceiling. So much had happened today. None of it was normal. He had finally taken a step forward, agreeing to trust someone that wasn't his brother. The flea was still annoying, but he seemed like he wanted to help. He closed his eyes, letting himself fall asleep.

Shizuo opened his eyes, blinking in the dark. How long had he been asleep? It wasn't morning yet. There was something on him, he felt the covers that had been thrown on top of him. Stupid flea, he didn't need them. Besides if Izaya caught a cold because of him... Why was he even thinking about it? Ugh.

He stood up, throwing the covers back on the bed. Izaya was sleeping in the centre. Settling back down on the floor, he closed his eyes. He felt something hit him in the face, knowing it was the covers. So maybe the flea wasn't sleeping. He sighed, getting up again. "I don't need them, flea."

Shizuo lay down, only to have them thrown on him again. Now he was getting annoyed. Damn it. Stay calm. "Get in the bed, Shizu-chan." He couldn't, have someone else accidentally touch his skin. "I'm fine here." And there was the flea's annoying laugh.

"Then the covers stay with you, goodnight Shizu-chan." Damn it. "Fine." Izaya moved over, letting him lay down, his feet, by Izaya's head. This was the only way he was sleeping. He covered them up, closing his eyes. "Shizu-chan enjoyed it earlier."

Shizuo pulled the covers over his head. That's why it was wrong. He should have felt disgusted, but he had liked it. Even now, he didn't mind being this close to the flea. Things were changing and it was the damn flea's fault. He regretted meeting him. He was glad he had met him. Damn it.

Next:- Nothing but confusion


	18. Nothing but confusion

**Nothing but confusion**

_A/N:- Thank you for the reviews. Just to clear things up, Shizuo is mainly male, so he has his parts, back and front and one extra hole between, as well as a womb. I looked it up on Wikipedia, kinda creeped me out, they had a picture. And onto the next chapter. Enjoy._

Shizuo groaned in his sleep, turning over. He was having that dream again. Two pieces of string, once tightly bound, unravelling faster and faster, disappearing into the darkness. He chased after them, reaching out to grab them...

What the? He blinked as he was woken by a sharp pain. Seconds later he felt it again, something had hit him in the face. Shizuo reached forward grabbing his attacker. He felt something stir under the covers, remembering he was in Izaya's bed. "Hmm? Shizu-chan. Why are you holding onto my foot?"

"You were kicking me in the face." He couldn't see the flea, clearly in the dark. "If Shizu-chan, slept properly, he wouldn't get kicked." He let go of Izaya's foot, letting it drop to the bed. "Damn flea." He turned back over closing his eyes, just he was relaxing, Izaya kicked him again. He inhaled sharply, stay calm. He had always been much more dangerous, when he was just waking up.

This was the person he had decided to trust, Shizuo sighed. He really was stupid. "Stop it." He couldn't see it, but he knew the flea was smirking. The blond grabbed his foot, holding it in place. "Cut it out, flea." Izaya laughed, a short maniacal sound. Scowling he lifted the flea by his leg, half of his body hovered above the bed. "Such a monster, Shizu-chan."

The blond dropped him, hammering the lid down on his rising temper. Why had he decided to trust the damn flea? He had forgotten his original reason. No, that was a lie. _Shizu-chan is Shizu-chan. It_ was because Izaya was the first to say that. That one comment that gave him, some hope of being accepted and confusion.

"Shizu-chan?" Shizuo lay back down on the pillows. "Go to sleep, flea. I'm not playing your game." He closed his eyes, falling into a dreamless sleep. He thought he head the flea's voice. "You can't see that you're changing, Shizu-chan."

Shizuo swatted the annoyance away, he was trying to sleep. He felt something poke his cheek again., every time he went to hit it, his hand glided through thin air. His eyes snapped open, glaring at the smirking informant. "Good morning, Shizu-chan." The blond blinked. That was right, he was at the flea's home.

He pulled himself out of bed, looking down at his now creased suit. "I made breakfast." The blond ran his hand through his hair. Maybe the flea, was bi-polar? It would make sense. One minute he was being nice, the next he felt like throwing him through a window or maybe into a wall. Whatever did the most damage.

Shizuo followed the flea down the stairs, so Mr god complex was the same as he was, at work. He sat down at the table, opposite to Izaya. Out of everything he pictured in his head, having breakfast with his boss, wasn't one of them. "I only made toast, since we need to get back to your apartment, Shizu-chan." Ah, that was right, he needed to shower and get changed.

Even though he knew the flea, was drinking his coffee, he could still feel that gaze on him. He quickly finished his toast, the uncomfortable feeling settling back in. Izaya placed their dishes in the sink, before dramatically throwing his coat on. The blond shook his head, making his way out of the apartment first.

It was annoying, Izaya was keeping in step with him. They made their way to the car, the flea unlocking the door. He tried his best to smooth out his shirt as he climbed in, doing up his seatbelt. The blond stared out of the window, looking up at the sky. He didn't say anything and neither did Izaya.

Damn it. He closed his eyes, as Izaya pulled up outside his apartment. It was early, but there she was. His mother stood outside his door, hand curled into a fist. "Stay in the car, flea." Shizuo unclicked his seatbelt, climbing out of the car. Maybe he could make up an excuse.

Since when had things gone right for him? As he walked closer, he could see her eyes looking him up and down, taking in his wrinkled clothes. It didn't help, when he heard a car door slam behind him. The flea had got out of the car. Immediately his mothers gaze, focused on behind him, a small smile on her lips. Damn it.

"Shizuka, dear. Are you just getting home?" He groaned inwardly, it was hopeless. His mother wasn't hiding the happiness in her voice. "Shizu-chan was at mine last night." And Izaya was there to make things worse. His mother glanced between the two of them, the flea now standing at his side. She broke into a wider grin. "I see, I'm happy for you, Shizuka."

Wait, what? What did she think he and the flea had done? "I'm Shizuka's mother. You can call me Namiko." He couldn't watch as the flea took her hand. "Izaya Orihara." Everything was over, the flea had charmed his mother. "I need a shower."

His mother took his hand. "I'm proud of you dear, make sure you wash inside. You don't want to get infected." She thought they had...? Ugh. "No, I -" She patted him on the back, while Izaya smirked. "It's nothing to get embarrassed about, Shizuka." Shizuo groaned, unlocking the door to his apartment, she wasn't listening, to him."Orihara-san, are you okay to come on Saturday?" The blond froze. Damn it. He pushed open the door, closing it behind him.

Shizuo shrugged off his clothes, stepping into the shower. First Izaya and now his mother. This was going to be a bad day. He washed quickly, knowing they would be late. It was the flea's fault anyway. The blond pulled on his clothes, slipping his shoes on as he opened the door. His mother and Izaya were still there. "Shizuka, dear. Are you leaving?"

The blond nodded. "I have work. See you, mother." His mother wrapped her arms around him. Her hugging him was rare, usually she only touched him, when he was Shizuka. He waited until she let go of him. "I'm happy for you, dear." Shizuo walked quickly past her. The only time she was happy, was when she thought he had slept with someone. It summed his parents up. "I'll see you both on Saturday."

Shizuo nodded, being careful not to rip the car door off. He slumped in the seat, pulling his seatbelt across. He watched through the window as his mother and the flea talked. This wasn't happening. Stay calm. A minute later, the door on Izaya's side opened. A smug looking flea climbed in. Shizuo glared at him. "Shut it."

"I didn't say anything, Shizu-chan." But he was smirking, waving to his mother as they drove away. And this was the person, he had chosen to trust. "So mean, Shizu-chan. You didn't tell me about my invite." The blond looked away, staring out of the window. "You're not coming." But he knew the flea would find a way. His mother was now expecting them to go together. "So, Shizu-chan-" The blond growled, trying to stay calm. "Shut it, flea."

As soon as the car stopped, he was out of there, taking a cigarette from his pocket. He leaned against the wall, exhaling the smoke and hopefully his worries. Too bad it wasn't that simple. He could see Izaya leaning against the car, watching him. Damn flea. After finishing two cigarettes, he was tempted for a third.

Instead he headed into the building, Izaya now beside him. The flea moved quickly. Shizuo calmed down, he was at work now, it was a weekday. Saturday and dinner with Izaya and his parents was Shizuka's problem. It was the first time, he had forgotten that. It wasn't a good sign.

He was Shizuo, She was Shizuka. Monday to Friday were his days. Weekends were Shizuka. He had never needed to remind himself. Both sides fit into their roles. Why was it changing now? "Stop looking at me, flea." Izaya smirked, as he glared at him.

As soon as Izaya opened the door, he grabbed his cup from the desk, heading into the kitchen. Slowly he turned on the tap, the water ran fine. Filling up the kettle, he flicked the switch, leaning against the counter as it boiled. He didn't listen to the flea's announcement. One more day and he wouldn't have to deal with him.

The day passed quickly, while he was constantly thinking about his life. "Shizu-chan. Aren't you going to have lunch?" He glanced at the time on his screen. It was lunch already and he had done nothing. "Why, are you coming?" Izaya smirked. "Will Shizu-chan get lonely?" The blond opened his mouth, before closing it sharply. Deciding it was better to ignore him, he left the office.

Erika sighed as she placed another chip in her mouth. "I was hoping Iza-Iza could take us to Russian Sushi again." Shizuo sighed. Another one had been converted to follow Mr god complex. He was happy with his strawberry milkshake. Kadota shook his head. He seemed the same as usual. Walker gently patted Karisawa on the back.

She cheered up quickly as she squealed, looking at Kadota. "Shizu-chan, We're going to act as back up for Dotachin." That didn't sound good. "We're inviting Mikapon, Kida-kun and Anri-chan." Shizuo smiled, it would be nice to see them again. "You can come too." The blond shook his head. "Sorry, Karisawa. I have other plans." She opened her mouth, closing it as Kadota stopped her.

"It's fine. I'll let you know how it goes, Shizuo." The blond finished his milkshake. It didn't taste as good. "I can't wait to see Mikapon." Erika was squealing with happiness, as crossed the road. "I need to know if everything is going okay between him and Anri-chan." She stopped, her eyes lighting up. Or maybe Mikapon and Kida-kun." Shizuo shook his head. Some people never change.

_You can't see that you're changing, Shizu-chan. _Why was it Izaya's words kept sticking in his head? He made his way back up to the office. But he wasn't changing. He was still suppressing his anger. There was still the line between him and Shizuka. The only difference was the flea. He had allowed him to touch him.

_Shizu-chan is Shizu-chan. _That wasn't true. They were their own person. Him and Shizuka were different. Separated. Two different people, with two different lives. They weren't the same. Izaya was wrong. He stepped out of the lift, heading to his desk.

The blond sighed, he was now behind. Ignoring anything Izaya had to say, he kept his eyes glued to his screen, playing catchup. Once he was finally done, he took a deep breath relaxing against the back of his chair. "Shizu-chan." He stood up, grabbing Izaya's cup. Why couldn't he make it himself?

Work finally ended, he smiled shutting down his computer. "Ready to go? Shizu-chan." The blond walked from the room, Izaya quickly catching up. "Don't try anything." The flea smirked. "You think I'd do anything to you? Shizu-chan." What was everything so far then? Stupid flea.

Izaya climbed in the car first, while he opened the door. "Drop me off at my apartment." He wasn't being tricked again. "Sure, Shizu-chan. I'll drop you off at my apartment." Shizuo grit his teeth, climbing in. He could always knock the flea, flying. _You can't see that you're changing, Shizu-chan. _

He wasn't ignoring Izaya so much. He was always calling him 'flea'. Shizuo was thinking of hurting him. The damn flea was right, he was changing. But now that he knew, he could stop it. The blond looked at Izaya, from the corner of his eye. Was this the flea's fault? Was it Izaya that was changing him?

It was still okay. Shizuka shouldn't have changed, she had only seen Izaya once. Everything was crumbling, but it was still there. _Shizu-chan is Shizu-chan. _Shizuo glared at his driver. If he was changing. Then who did that make him? "Shizu-chan?" The blond held his head in his hands, he needed a cigarette. Who or what was he becoming?

Next:- Second meeting


	19. Second meeting

**Second meeting**

_A/N:- Thank you for all the reviews. Sorry about any Grammar errors. I really need an early night. And onto the next bit. Enjoy._

It was stupid, how many years had he been like this? The damn flea had appeared and everything was getting messed up. "Shizu-chan?" The blond shook his head. He had been so careful, his acting was near perfection. "Take me home, flea." Crimson eyes blinked, he thought he could see concern, but it didn't matter.

He waited until Izaya, pulled the car up outside his apartment, trying not to rip the door off. "I'm not coming in tomorrow, flea." He didn't wait for an answer as he climbed out, slamming the door. Too much had happened. He was angry at Izaya, for interfering in his life. At his mother, for only accepting Shizuka.

He was angry at himself, for not realising sooner. Not listening to the warnings in his head. He had let the flea in, and this was what had happened. He couldn't hear the engine, so he knew Izaya was still in the car, behind him. It was getting harder to contain his temper. He was at his limit. Digging the key from his pocket he opened the door, still feeling that he was being watched.

Shizuo slammed the door behind him, wincing as he heard a loud crack. The door was fine, it was the lock that had snapped. He needed a break, he needed to rest, to calm down and figure out what he was going to do, from now on. Kasuka had never guessed this would happen and he wasn't here to help. He was on his own.

That was why he wouldn't be at work tomorrow. He was giving her an extra day. Shizuo sighed reaching for his cigarettes, he should have spent the entire day smoking. It was too late now. The blond opened the door, checking to see if Izaya had left. He sighed in relief as he saw an empty space, where the flea had parked.

Stepping outside, he lit up a cigarette. He wasn't a chain smoker, but this was necessary. The blond stared up at the sky, thinking of all the problems, Shizuka would have to deal with. And she only gets two days. He finished the first, moving onto the second. He could slowly feel himself calming, but it wasn't enough, he was confused, he would make mistakes. Ones that he couldn't afford to.

After finishing the entire packet, he took a deep breath, heading back into his apartment. This time he managed to close the door quietly. Shizuo ran a hand though his hair, knowing he wouldn't be able to lock the door. Then again who would be stupid enough to break into his apartment?...Apart from the flea.

He didn't have anything urgent to deal with tomorrow, if there was Izaya would have to sort it. Turning off his phone, he walked into his bedroom, placing it on the bedside table. He wouldn't need it until Monday. Shizuo took one last look around his room, before closing the door. It was time for Shizuka to come out.

It was a lot harder, doing it himself, rather than have Kasuka help him. He stepped into the shower, making sure he was clean, gliding the razor across his skin. It felt a little less disgusting, another sign he was changing. Once he was done, he rubbed body lotion into his newly shaved skin, before stepping out of the shower.

Shizuo grabbed a large towel from the side, wrapping it around his waist, the water from his damp hair, dripping down onto his chest. He made his way to Kasuka's bedroom. Once he had dried himself properly, he removed the towel, choosing a pair of panties from the draw. Sliding them over his legs, he reached for the filled bra. Shizuo cursed as he failed to clip it up, making it too tight or connecting the top to the bottom. He cursed, wishing Kasuka was there to help. Eventually he got it right, letting his arms drop from their awkward position.

He didn't need to worry about the make-up, since he didn't plan on going anywhere tonight. Opening Kasuka's wardrobe, Shizuo reached for his wig. Taking down the long blond hair. He lowered his head, stretching the cap over his head, scowling as a stray lock stood out. His brother made this look so easy.

He tucked the lock of hair underneath, smoothing the cap out. Shizuo picked up the wig, pulling it onto his head. Shizuka lifted her head, straightening her hair out. She looked around for her bag, finding it by the side of her draws. The blonde took out her phone and one of her lollipops.

She pressed the button, waiting for it to turn on, whilst unwrapping the lolly. Shizuka rummaged through the draw, looking for some nightwear. She found a plain white, silk nightdress, letting it slip over her head and over her figure. Taking her phone, she left the room. She had to eat something.

Not surprising, there wasn't a lot in the cupboard. She needed to go shopping. Taking two slices of bread from the packet, she popped them into the toaster. She was still eating, it counted. She waited until they popped up, quickly putting the slices onto a plate. She found the jam in the cupboard, spreading it thickly.

Shizuka curled up on the sofa, her plate in hand. She would need to do her nails, for now it didn't matter, she wasn't doing anything tomorrow. She smiled as she text Kasuka, using one hand. Less than a minute and her phone rang. "Kasuka, I miss you." There was a small pause on the other end. _Nee-san? Did something happen? Shizuka shook her head, lowing the plate onto the table. _"I decided to be here for an extra day."

_As long as you're okay. I won't be back for a while. _Shizuka sighed, she hated being away from Kasuka. "Can't I come and see you?" There was silence on the other end. _I'll let you know, when I get back, nee-san. Stay out of trouble. _Shizuka smiled. _What did Shiki say, last time? _The blonde sighed, she didn't want to worry him. "He gave me a warning. He knows I'm different. He had a background check done."

_I see. Be careful, nee-san. _Shizuka smiled, talking to her brother down the phone, about anything."Don't you have work now?" _No, I'm done for the day. _Shizuka re-adjusted her position, that meant she could talk to him. _Sorry nee-san, I have to film a scene as soon as the sun comes up. _She twirled the lolly in her mouth. "I'll let you sleep then. Good night, Kasuka." _Goodnight, nee-san. _

Shizuka checked the time, before deciding it was late enough. She stood up stretching as she made her way to the front door. She still needed, some sort of security. In the end, she moved Shizuo's bedside table, using it to block the door. It was either that or the sofa. The blonde went into Kasuka's room, pulling the covers back and sliding underneath them. She closed her eyes, curling up as she fell into a dreamless sleep.

Her eye twitched as she heard a loud knocking. Who was up at this hour? She didn't have to work until tomorrow. She wanted to sleep. Th noise persisted, making her climb out of the bed, smoothing down her nightdress. Shizuka reached the door, moving the table out of the way. She opened the door, to Shizuo's boss.

The man stood there, his eyes running over her figure. "Good morning, Shizu-chan." She didn't like the way he was looking at her, her hand went to her neck. The mark was gone, but she knew that it had been there. "Aren't you going to let me in?" She grit her teeth. "No, I'm not." He was watching her, he knew what she was thinking. Shizuka smiled. "I owe you for last week." She threw a punch, straight into the informant.

It was satisfying to see, that he hadn't dodged. She looked down at him, as he sat on the floor, holding his stomach. "Now we're even." Shizuka smiled, taking the lollipop from her mouth. She closed the door, heading to the kitchen. Ah, it was a good morning. Luckily she still had some cereal left. Today she would go shopping.

The blonde took the milk carton from the fridge, pouring some over her breakfast. After she was done, she tilted the carton back, drinking from it. Shizuka sat at the table, taking her time to eat her cereal. Once she was done, she placed the bowl in the sink, heading for Kasuka's bedroom.

She had pulled the nightdress up half way, before she shivered, feeling someone watching her. She let it drop, back onto her figure. "Why did you stop? Shizu-chan." She glared at him, as the bug stood in the doorway. "How did you get in here?" Izaya smirked at her. "Silly protozoan, did you forget the lock was broken?"

Izaya didn't move as she pushed past him, out of Kasuka's room. "Get out, before I throw you out." The bug didn't move. She looked around the room, trying to find something to throw. Shizuka slid her fingers under the sofa, lifting it with ease above her head. "Get out!" If anything the bug's smirk widened.

"Would you really destroy, your own furniture? Shizu-chan." Yes, she would. If it got rid of annoying bugs. She let it fly, sending it crashing into the wall. She grit her teeth, as Izaya dodged it. Still standing on his feet, knife now held out, in front of him. "Shizu-chan is such a monster." Every word the bug spoke, only pissed her off.

"I hope you aren't going to act like this on Saturday." She paused, her search for something else to throw stopping for the moment. "Did Shizu-chan, forget our date?" What was he talking about? Oh, no way was she going. She could call her mum later. "Die, bug." She gave up finding things to throw, aiming to punch his head instead.

She could tell the bug, was quicker than her. But if she managed to get in one punch, it was over. No one got up from one of her hits. She lashed out, as he ducked underneath her punch. Why couldn't he stand . . . He was dodging every punch. They circled each other, Izaya now stood where she was before, while she stood where he had been.

Shizuka picked up the sofa, aiming it at him again. She threw it straight at him, watching as he balanced his hand, vaulting over it. "Have you thought about, anger management? Shizu-chan." What was the point of making her angry? The bug had nothing to gain, except for a trip to the hospital.

She launched herself at him, turning around as he shot past her, nicking her arm with his knife. It wouldn't scar, but that wasn't the point, she charged after him, picking up the nearest thing, she could get her hands on. The bug was trapped.

She smirked at him, blind rage taking over. "Shizu-chan, what will Kasuka-kun, say if you break that? She wondered what he was talking about. She stopped as she noticed Izaya looking around the room, she followed his gaze, groaning as she realised where she was.

She was in Kasuka's room, she hadn't wanted to stay in here. The room belonged to her precious little brother. She wouldn't break anything in here. It was a trap, but it wasn't Izaya who had been caught. She held the draws above her head, getting ready to lower her arms. She didn't want to break them.

The bug had tricked her, he smirked as he moved into her personal space. She couldn't lower the chest of draws, until he moved out of the way. She could feel his hot breath, on her neck as he leaned close. Was he going to bite her again?

She wanted to crush him, but she was holding herself. The chest was filled with everything she and Kasuka had worked for, to give her an identity. "Move out of the way." Once she put it down safely, she could force him from the room. "If I move, Shizu-chan will act like a monster." Why did the bug, look like a kid with a new toy?

Shizuka felt his fingers, run along her collarbone. She glared at him, as he lifted his knife. Was he going to cut her? "I'm going to kill you." She watched as Izaya cut through the strap to her nightdress, doing the same to the other. The material slid down her skin, pooling at her feet. She watched as Izaya shook his head, the smirk was still there.

"Shizu-chan hates himself." She blinked as he put the knife away. "If I push too far, nothing will happen." She tried stepping back as, he ran his finger down her throat. "But you, Shizu-chan. Are a monster. You need to be tamed."

Next:- Meeting the family


	20. Meeting the family

**Meeting the family**

_A/N:- Thanks for all the reviews. In answer to Rai Rai Blue, at some point there will be another Izaya log as well as a dear diary, since it has been two weeks. Ah, Spoilers._

_Completely random, but I am trying to calm down, so I can write this chapter. Most embarrassing and awkward moment of my life – today. My dad found out I read Yaoi. Didn't see that coming._

_Dad:- "You didn't say hello, when you got in." (Sits at the bottom of my bed.) I'm trying to type this so I get an early night. "I didn't know you like acdc." (Gets bored and starts looking at my stuff.)_

_Me:- "I'm seeing if I like them."_

_Dad:- "Shards of affection." Yes, I froze. "Sounds like porn."_

_Me:- "Sort of"_

_Dad:- "I might have to borrow it." You can see where this going._

_Me:- "Um, I wouldn't."_

_Dad:- "Why not?"_

_Me:- "It's... the other."_

_Dad:- "...It's gay? You read gay books? ... I'm going to have a look." He then picks up Our Kingdom and flicks through it. "Hmm, it's not that bad." One shelf up and he would have picked up Finder._

_Ignoring that. And onto the next bit, Enjoy._

Shizuka hated that look, the way the damn bug's gaze ran over her form. Before it had been biting her neck and leaving that mark, now he was trying this? She had her uncontrollable anger, her incredible strength. So why was she helpless, in front of him? Standing in her underwear, arms held high above her head.

She wanted nothing better, than to wipe that smirk off his face. If they had been in any other room, this wouldn't have happened. She glared at him, wishing he would disappear. Shizuka, felt the chest of draws shake, as Izaya placed his hand on her stomach. She was going to kill him. The bug moved closer, pressing his body against hers. All she felt was anger.

Then his lips were on her neck. So he was going to bite her? She felt something wet against her skin. "Did you just...lick me?" She wanted the bug flattened and out of her apartment. She could feel him smirk, before he sucked harshly. That was going to leave another mark. She grit her teeth, wondering if she could catch the chest, if she dropped it.

The bug's hands wandered over her skin. "It's a shame these aren't real, Shizu-chan." She didn't feel anything, but his hand was cupping one of her fake breasts. Shizuka shifted her weight, gently lifting her foot, from her fallen nightdress. The silk caught between her toes, the bug's other hand on her lower back.

She smirked as she finally got her foot free, kicking Izaya in the abdomen. As he fell back, she lowered the chest, safely in front of her, running from the room. Shizuka lifted up the sofa, with ease. Waiting for the bug to follow her. "Get out!" She shouted as a warning. The bug hadn't come out of Kasuka's room. Maybe she had actually hurt him.

Shizuka smiled lowering the sofa. It served him right. She strode into the bedroom, getting ready to deliver the final blow, landing the bug in hospital. The room was empty, Izaya had left. She hoped. The blonde shivered as a cold breeze on her skin, gave her goosebumps. The bug had left the window wide open. At least he was gone.

She quickly closed the window, opening one of the draws. What should she wear today? Her fingers ran against where Izaya had bitten. It was the second time the bug, had marked her. Next time she saw him, he would get more than punch or a kick. She would send him flying across Ikebukuro.

Shizuka chose to stick with her uniform, taking out a skirt and a shirt. She slipped them both on, doing the buttons to her shirt up. The collar didn't cover the mark, the bug had left. She had gotten used to the tights now, they kept her a bit warmer, so she wore those as well. The blonde put on her shoes, opening another lolly, whilst reaching for her make-up.

Putting her phone in her pocket, she made her way to the door of her apartment. She had almost forgotten the lock was broken. Throwing her bag, over her shoulder, she left. If anyone was stupid enough to break in, she would find them. She was wearing more sensible flat shoes today, Shizuka made her way down the steps.

People stared, she was used to it. It wasn't a 'you're a freak' stare, it was lust filled gazes, that roamed up and down her figure as she walked. If anyone got too close, she sent them across the road, into the nearest building. Shizuka stopped outside the supermarket, heading inside.

The blonde had found a cooking book, placing it in the basket. It would help her out. Placing the ingredients inside, she made her way past the biscuit and cake aisle. Shizuka stood there, before she twirled the lollipop, licking her lips at the selection of cakes. She couldn't choose what she wanted and she hadn't reached the dairy aisle yet.

The basket overflowed, but she held it with ease. Placing the basket on the check out, she started putting everything onto the conveyor belt. The blonde had been sensible, buying the cookbook and ingredients, the recipes said. Next she placed the cakes she wanted on there and more than enough pudding. This was why she didn't do the shopping.

Shizuka carried everything back home, pushing open the door to her apartment. She dumped the bags in the kitchen, checking that no one had broken in. She smiled as she unpacked everything, filling half of the cupboard with cakes and the fridge with pudding and milk.

Her phone told her, she had a call. Shizuka took it from her pocket, glancing at the screen. It was her mum. _Shizuka, dear. I wanted to make sure you hadn't forgotten, about tomorrow. _"I'm not going." There was a pause on the other end. _Yes, you are dear. And you're bringing Orihara-san with you. _She couldn't be in the same room, as him longer than five minutes, without trying to kill him.

"Mum, we hate each other. We'll wreck the dinner. " As well as the room and wherever else they chased each other to. _You're getting older, now Shizuka. You can't be picky. _Which meant she wanted grandchildren. "Kasuka's not going. Neither am I." She heard a sigh from the other end, of the line. _Kasuka has his career. See you tomorrow, dear. _The blonde crushed the phone, beneath her fingertips. She wasn't going.

She spent most of the day, going through the cookery book. Kasuka would be happy, when she told him, she could now cook. Turning the page, she read up on the next one. If only she could remember them. Searching through the pots and pans, she found the frying pan. She had the book in front her, while she cracked an egg into the pan.

She had brought more than enough vegetables, to last her. Choosing a tomato to start with, she started chopping. After doing the best she could, shizuka added them to the pan, mixing everything up. She turned off the heat, tipping her creation onto a plate, The blonde took a bite, tasting her cooking. It wasn't actually that bad.

At five o'clock, she glanced at the door, checking the bug wasn't there. Luckily he wasn't, but it didn't stop her from getting angry and ready to beat him up. Two hours later and the bug, still hadn't bothered her. She smiled in relief, leaning against the sofa. He had left her alone. She allowed herself to relax, continuing to read her bar tending book, since she had finished her cooking one.

She flicked through the tv channels yawning, she wasn't meant to stay inside on her own, it was boring, she wanted to be with Kasuka or at Artic. Her Fridays were boring. She went though another lollipop, watching a documentary on kittens. Although she was always angry, it didn't mean she didn't like adorable things.

The next morning, Shizuka woke up in another nightdress, this one was baby blue. Another one Kasuka had brought for her. Today was going to be a nightmare. If she didn't go, her mum would turn up, moving the dinner to her apartment, or forcibly dragging her. She wasn't an actor like Kasuka, she had no choice.

She was dressed in her normal uniform, applying her make-up. Once she was done, Shizuka headed to the kitchen, making herself a dish of cereal. She sat at the table, thinking about texting her brother. She didn't want to go, she didn't want to be anywhere near the bug.

There was a knock at the door. She knew who it would be. Sure enough, when she didn't answer, Izaya pushed the door open, smirking at her from the doorway. She needed to get the lock fixed. "Get out!" The bug was still smirking as he moved as close as possible. "So mean, Shizu-chan. Namiko-san asked me to get you."

"Why are you in contact, with my mum?" That was the last thing she needed. She twirled a lollipop, keeping herself distracted. There was nothing to throw at the bug. "She's worried, you wouldn't come. Bad Shizu-chan, trying to let your mother down." Forget it, she had never been able to keep her temper and she wasn't going to attempt it.

The bug dodged her punch, as she aimed straight for his face. Izaya had his knife pointed at her. Less than five minutes and they were trying to hurt each other. "Let's go, Shizu-chan." The blonde glared at him. "Don't tell me what to do, bug." She aimed for him again, this time she watched as he shot forward, dodging her punch. She felt her breath leave her as she fell back, hitting the floor.

She looked up, at the chair she had fallen from, seeing Izaya straddling her waist. Her heart was pounding, adrenaline rushed through her. She glared up at him, her hands reaching for his shoulders, ready to push him away. She felt, rather than saw the knife at her throat. "Don't be a monster, Shizu-chan."

She didn't move her arms, keeping them still, as the bug used his free hand, to run his finger tips over the mark he had made. "If Shizu-chan, doesn't want to go." She didn't like the look in his eye. "We could stay here." She looked at their positions, Izaya weighing her down, knife pointed at her throat. "Fine. Get off me, bug."

Surprisingly Izaya did as she said, moving in front of her. She was going to kill him, stupid annoying bug. As they walked past the sofa, she picked it up. She threw it at him, as his back was turned. At the last moment, Izaya side stepped it, letting the sofa crash into the door. How did he manage to dodge that?

She hesitated as she stood by the car, fingers resting against the door. "Get in, Shizu-chan." She would rather pick the car up, than get in it. "Shizu-chan." She could hear a warning in the bug's voice. It wouldn't end well. She got in the car, closing the door. Shizuka turned away, not wanting to see his smirking face. She let him drive

The car pulled up, outside his parent's home. Shizuka opened the door, slamming it behind her. She was satisfied at the noise it made, wondering if she had broken it. If she had, it served the bug right. No one asked him to interfere with her life. He had just done it. Walked in doing whatever he wanted, charming her mum and now forcing her to come here.

The door to her parents house, was already open, her mother waved to them. "Come on, Shizu-chan."Izaya smirked, as he walked past. She wasn't a dog. The nearest objects to her was the bug's car or a lamppost. As her hand reached out, he turned around grabbing her wrist.

By that time her mum, had made her way from the step, to them. There was no escape. "Shizuka, dear. Orihara-san. I'm so glad you could make it." Shizuka watched as she started talking to Izaya, walking them towards the house. She shook her head, Her mum was in charge here.

Her mum talked non-stop, while she could see Izaya, taking everything in, observing the house he used to live in. "Dinner isn't ready yet, there's about another hour. Make yourselves comfortable." She disappeared into the kitchen, leaving her and the bug alone. She took a deep breath, opening the door to the living room.

Sure enough, there was her dad, sitting on the sofa. "Hi Dad." The man didn't acknowledge her, his head tuned away. She didn't know why she bothered. Shizuka twirled her lollipop quickly, turning around and bumping into Izaya. She had thought he would leave, so he could be annoying to someone else. Or searching through the house "Shizu-chan?"

By the look on the bug's face, he had just seen, what had happened. Was he angry? She felt him grip her wrist, pulling her into the room. She now stood in front of the tv, blocking her dad's view. She tried again. "Hi, dad." The man turned his head, looking straight through her. She snatched her wrist, from Izaya's grip. She shouldn't have bothered.

She never could handle her dad's rejection. She felt like smashing everything, causing as much damage as she could. She felt like crying. "Shizu-chan?" So the bug still wanted to annoy her. "Tell mum, I left." She felt his fingers on her again. How stupid was Izaya? Didn't he know how strong she was?

She looked down, seeing Izaya move his thumb across her wrist. His other hand found it's way into her hair, pulling her forward. What was he doing now? She wasn't in the mood for his games. Everything stopped, as his lips brushed against hers. Wha? How?

"Shizu- They stopped as the front door opened. He wasn't supposed to be here, she had asked him. But there he was. Her brother stood in the doorway, with his usual expressionless face. She looked down at the position she and the bug were in. Breaking away, she ran to the new arrival, throwing her arms around him. "Kasuka. I missed you."

She felt his arms, wrap around her. "Me too, Nee-san." Shizuka smiled. "You said you couldn't come." She could feel an intense stare on her back, she wasn't sure if it was directed at her or not. Since they had met, the bug had been rough and forceful. So what was that? "The shoot was cancelled." She buried her head, into her brother's shoulder.

Next:- Trouble at the table


	21. Trouble at the table

**Trouble at the table**

_A/N:- This one is a bit later today, I fell asleep mid-type. Anyway thank you for the reviews and onto the next bit. Enjoy._

Shizuka smiled, she was glad Kasuka was here. His hand was rested on her back, their arms around each other. "Cancelled? That was lucky, Kasuka-kun." She had almost forgotten, Izaya was behind her. Almost. She felt her brother's grip tighten, around her.

"Why are you here? Orihara-san." Kasuka was now looking over her shoulder. She let go of him, standing by his side. "I was invited." Her brother remained expressionless, while Izaya kept his smirk. "Have you spoken to dad?" Shizuka nodded, not trusting herself to say anything. Kasuka's hand rested in her hair, making gentle movements. "Don't let him get to you, nee-san."

She nodded, resting her head on his shoulder. "When do you have to go back?" She heard footsteps from the kitchen. "Shizuka dear, I heard the door." The blonde stepped away from her brother knowing what was going to happen. Her mum saw Kasuka, enveloping him in a hug. "Kasuka, Isn't this a surprise."

As her mum gushed about how happy to see him she was, and how proud she was, the door opened. Her father didn't look at her, his eyes fixated on Kasuka. "It's good to see you, son." She couldn't see what her brother's reaction was. Her two parents hovered closely to him, she stood away from them, not a part of the family. She felt sick.

She blinked, as she felt someone touch her hand, turning her head to see Izaya. Her breath hitched at the look, he was giving her. His gaze was focused on her, not her parents or brother, her. It kept her frozen in place. No one had ever looked at her in that way. His fingers curled around hers, turning her body to face him.

Why wasn't she pulling away? Was it because she was upset? She should be angry and throwing something at him or Izaya himself. His other hand moved to the side of her face. Why wasn't she getting angry? The bug brought her head down to his height. "So unpredictable, Shizu-chan. It seems I was wrong." She felt his lips on hers, she was scared.

She was caught, but she was stronger, so why? His lips were soft, she had never had this sort of comfort. "Nee-san?" Ah, it seemed her brother had finally broken away from their parents. She broke away from Izaya, turning to face him. "Are you and Orihara-san -" He was cut off by her mum. "Kasuka, leave them be." She smiled at them both, her dad was finally looking at her, but it was with disgust.

"Kasuka, help me with dinner. Shizuka dear, show Orihara-san, your old room." What? Hadn't they gotten rid of it? She had thought her dad would of changed it. "Go on dear, I'll call you, when dinner is done." Her mother talked to her as if, she was still a child. Her dad went back into the room, slamming the door.

She looked helplessly at Kasuka, but his expressionless gaze, wasn't on her, but the bug beside her. "Come on, Kasuka." Her brother was dragged away, into the kitchen by her mum. They had left her alone, she could leave and they wouldn't know until dinner. But Kasuka was here, she had to stay. With an angry sigh, she started up the stairs.

She knew Izaya was following her, but he wasn't saying anything yet. Shizuka stopped in front of a door. There was a poster of some random anime, she had found in a magazine. She had put it up to cover the large hole, she had made with her fist. Since it hadn't been replaced, she wondered if her parents knew. Maybe they did, but didn't care.

Her fingers ran over the name plate on the door, her dad had brought one for Shizuo and one for Kasuka. Underneath was her name, the one her mum had brought her. "So this is, Shizu-chan's room?" She glared at him. "My old one." She pushed open the door, feeling like she had been thrown back in time. They hadn't touched anything, it was still the same as she had left it.

She stepped in, the bug following. She closed the door behind her, looking at another anime poster, covering up this side. The room was clean, but everything was the same. Her bed was in the centre of the room, the blue covers, had a line drawn in permanent marker, all the way down. She had only ever slept on the right side of the bed. The line continued, splitting the entire room in half.

On Shizuo's side of the room, everything was neat and tidy. There was a bedside table by his bed, a few books, anime and his wardrobe, but nothing much. One of the wardrobe doors were open, She glared at him, as Izaya hopped across the line, opening one of the doors. There should be a mirror, along the length of the door, but Shizuo had smashed it along time ago.

While the bug was being his usual annoying self, looking through Shizuo's things, she turned to her side of the room. Instead of a wardrobe, she had a small chest of draws, it was a lot smaller than the one she had now. Her first make-up kit, where she had tried to find out, what colours suited her. She had entered up looking like a clown, until Kasuka had stepped in to help.

Next to that was her old stereo, a microphone, was wrapped around it, her cd's were stacked up a little further away. They were all female singers, ones in her pitch of voice. She moved away, sitting on the right side of the bed. This room brought back memories.

Her dad used to talk to her. _When are you going to get out of this phase? _He had thought she was joking, trying out new things. _Shizuo, this isn't funny any more. _He had never called her by her name. _Are you serious?_ _No son of mine is going to be a girl. _But she was, she had been learning from Kasuka and his manager. _Dad? Dad, this is who I am. Dad say something! _

But he hadn't said a word to her since, he only ever spoke to Shizuo. She hated this room, hated her memories. Worrying about this was stupid, she had only stayed for Kasuka's sake. She got off the bed, picking it up with ease, Slamming it into the wall on her side of the room. Why had her parents invited her over, if they hadn't accepted her?

The bed hadn't fully broken, so she picked it up again, flinging it, across Shizuo's side of the room, the bug jumped out of the way. It wasn't enough, her foot went through her cd player, she smashed the cd's leaving broken bits of plastic everywhere. She spun around, her full of rage. "And you. Why the hell aren't you doing anything?" She stormed over to Izaya, picking him up by his coat.

"What game are you playing now? Why aren't you saying anything?" She hated being rejected, she hated being ignored. "Was Shizu-chan getting lonely?" He was smirking down at her, but it didn't reach his eyes. "Shut it bug. What game are you playing?" She dropped him, as he brought out his knife. "Hmm? I was rethinking my strategy. Not that Shizu-chan, would know what that means."

She moved back, as Izaya slashed the knife, at her. The bug, swept his leg, making her lose her momentum. She fell back, landing on the floor. He had beaten her again. Shizuka opened her eyes, to see him staring down at her. Why was he looking at her like that? "Stop that." She glared up at him.

"Stop what? Shizu-chan." She grit her teeth, leaning on her elbows, to sit up. No way was she risking, showing her back to the bug. "That. Stop looking at me like that." The bug knelt down, so he was still hovering over her. "This is the way, I always look at Shizu-chan." Shizuo not her. She found herself, laying back down, Izaya's hands touching her, while his lips remained on hers, coaxing her to join in.

Why were his kisses so damn gentle? She moved her lips, to tell him to get off her. Her own, brushing back against his, she liked the feeling. She tried it again, she kept her eyes open, locked with crimson above her. If this was his new game, she wasn't going to lose. She could feel him, smirk against her lips. But she wasn't backing down.

She jolted as she felt something else, prod her lips. She opened her mouth, allowing Izaya to slide his tongue in, it was wet, sliding against her own,she shivered at the new feeling. Her own muscle joined his, not wanting to lose. Their hands held onto each other, while their mouths remained joined, saliva ran from her lips, as they continued their battle.

Their tongues danced around each other, wrapping around one another. Her breath hitched, she needed to come up for air. But she wasn't giving up first, Shizuka bit down on the bug's lower lip, drawing blood. The metallic liquid filled her mouth, mixing with their fluids, neither one of them stopped. "Nee-san, Dinner -"

Shizuka blinked, looking at the door, where her brother stood, with his usual expressionless face, his mouth slightly open. She pushed Izaya away, standing up and smoothing her uniform down. "What were you doing? Nee-san." Shizuka wiped the blood away with her thumb. "We were fighting. You know how much I hate the bug."

She looked over her shoulder at the bug. "That one was a draw." Her gaze met his, taking in the small trickle of blood running down his lips, one part of his lip was red, where she had bit him. "Dinner's ready, nee-san." She nodded, wishing she could leave. "What should I do about the room?" Kasuka took in the damage. "Leave it, Nee-san."

Shizuka followed her brother from the room, reaching forward, so they held hands. Kasuka's fingers folded over hers, as he led her down the stairs. "So mean, Shizu-chan." Izaya was coming down the stairs behind them. "Is dad, joining us?" Her brother gave a slight nod. She sighed making her way into the dining room. It was just as she remembered it. Cream wallpaper, sandy carpet and pine table, that they used to have all their meals at.

"Shizuka dear, Orihara-san. Take a seat." Her mum smiled over at them. A white table cloth, had been thrown over the table, her mum sat at one end, her dad at the other. Shizuka took one of the side seats, waiting for Kasuka to sit next to her. She glared at Izaya, as he took the chair instead, leaving Kasuka to sit on his own, opposite her, their plates sitting in front of them.

"It's good to see the family like this again." Is that what it was? "Shizuka dear, how has everything been?" She turned away. "Fine, I've mainly been working." Her mum nodded. "With Orihara-san?" She shook her head. "No, with Shiki-san." Why was she asking about things she already knew? She caught her dad looking at them. Oh, so it wasn't for her benefit.

"How did you meet, Orihara-san?" Shizuka grimaced at the memory, raising her hand to her neck. "He's Shizuo's boss." Her dad finally spoke up. "Why isn't Shizuo here?" It wasn't directed at her. She clenched her fists under the table. "He isn't here." She was ignored.

"Shizuka dear, how did you two meet?" The blonde sighed. "He walked into the bar, I was working at." Her mum clapped her hands. "So was it love at first sight?" Shizuka shook her head. "No, we aren't like that." Izaya rested his hand on hers. "So mean, Shizu-chan. You should be more, honest." She brushed his hand away. "Orihara-san, what are your intentions, towards my daughter?"

Shizuka gave him a warning look, the bug rested wrapped his arms around her arm. "For now, I'm happy staying at Shizu-chan's side." He looked up at her with mischievous eyes. "I'm sorry, Namiko-san. The room got messed up." She watched as a faint blush appeared on her mum's cheeks. "Not to worry, I'll clean it up. Shizuka dear, do you need to shower?"

Not again. The bug was deliberately misleading her. "Mum, nothing happened." She could see her brother staring at her, her dad had tensed up. She moved her mouth to Izaya's ear, hissing at him. "Stop messing around." She received a smirk in return.

"Do you two have any plans for the future?" Her mum beamed at them. "I am expecting grandchildren." Which meant her mum, wasn't going to give her, her prescription. She had come here for no reason. "There is no future for us." She spoke before the bug could. "Shizuka dear, it may not work out in the beginning, but if you give it a chance."

She glared at the bug, Izaya seemed happy enough to let her make her own mess. "Nee-san, Is everything okay at work?" Shizuka settled back down, turning her attention to Kasuka, while her mum stood, going to get dessert. "It's good, Kasuka. Vorona will be back tonight." Her brother nodded. "What about Shizuo's work colleagues?"

"They should be coming to the bar tomorrow. When are you going back?" Kasuka looked away. "Desert is here." Her mum placed the gateau on the table. Shizuka licked her lips. "Shizuka dear, I was thinking we could go clothes shopping together. Now that you have a boyfriend, you should wear something other than that uniform."

Shizuka looked down at herself. "Mum, Kasuka brought these for me." Her mum nodded. "I know that dear. You're a grown woman, you shouldn't be relying on your brother. He has his own career." Kasuka looked up, still expressionless. "I like looking after, nee-san." The blonde smiled. The table shook as her dad punched it. "Enough. How long are you going to pretend he's a girl?"

"Now dear, Shizuka is in a delicate place at the moment." Izaya reached for her hand. "Shizu-chan. Do you want to go now?" She blinked looking down at him, didn't he want to see everything mess up? "We have gone over this. Shizuo is a man, it's your fault he's become like...that!" His finger pointed at her. "Nee-san. We should leave." She looked between her parents and nodded.

"I'm not done. Sit down!" Shizuka hovered in her seat. Her dad walked around the table reaching for her. She was saved by the bug, pulling her out of the way. She tripped over the chair, sitting in his lap. "If Shizu-chan wanted to get closer, you only had to ask." It only seemed to piss her dad off. more "This joke has gone on long enough. I raised a son."

"I want Shizuo out here, now!" She shrugged out of Izaya's grip, standing on her own feet. "No, I'm Shizuka." She felt his hand wrap around her throat. And squeeze "Do I have to knock some sense into you?" Her dad had never hit her, he had only ignored her. There was a first for everything. "Nee-san." Kasuka stayed where he was, concern in his eyes. "Shizuka dear." Her mother had come around the edge of the table, stroking her dad's arm. "Let her go, dear."

"Shizu-chan." She blinked as a line of red, appeared on her dad's wrist. He hissed in pain, letting her go. Her hand went to her throat, gasping for breath. She couldn't see past the black coat in front of her. "You dare try and harm me in my own house?" Ah, she had never heard her dad sound so angry. If she couldn't handle the bug, there was no chance he could. "Shizuo, get out here now!" Enough, she could finally breath. "Get out of the way, bug." Izaya stayed where he was, knife out.

She didn't need a knight in shining armour, she could protect herself. But if she did have one, she hadn't expected it to be Izaya. It was almost laughable. "Izaya, move!" She pushed him out of the way, facing up to her dad. "I don't know why I still count you as my dad."

"Shizuo isn't here and he won't be coming back." It had been in the back of her mind, since she friday, when she became Shizuka. Shizuo was changing, he was becoming corrupted, getting weaker. He would drag both of them down. She was stronger, she could handle anything. "What did you say?"

She placed the gateau on the chair, she wasn't wasting a perfectly good desert. "Nee-san. Don't." Shizuka picked up the table, watching her mum scramble out of the way. "You really are a freak, do what you want. I don't have a daughter or a son." The blonde smirked. "I plan to old man." She threw the table at him, not caring about the damage.

"Sorry Kasuka. Mum can I have my pills now?" He mum removed the box from her pocket. "Are you s-sure dear?" She took the box, smiling at her. "I'm sure. Goodbye mum." She turned walking from the house.

Next:- Taking over


	22. Taking over

**Taking over**

_A/N: Thank you for all the reviews. Wow, everyone hates the parents. Exactly like I was hoping. But at least Izaya will be more sympathetic now. And onto the next bit, Enjoy._

Stupid parents. Shizuka stormed from the house, she didn't know why she had bothered. They didn't care about her. She could only rely on Kasuka, but even he hadn't stepped in to help her, when he dad, had his hand around her throat. But that wasn't fair on him. He was an actor, not her protector.

So what about Izaya? He had cut her, bit her, constantly teased her and made her angrier than she had ever been. But the odd moments where he was gentle, didn't make sense. While she had thought she was on her own, he had stepped in to protect her. What was his game?

She stopped in front of the car, leaning against the door to wait for him. He hadn't followed after her, she didn't know why he was taking so long. Any longer and she was going to start walking. Where was he?

Shizuka sighed, it had been five minutes. What was the bug doing? Ugh, forget it. She stepped back from the car and started walking. She reached into her bag, unwrapping one of her lollipops. How she had gone the day without one, she didn't know. Hmm, strawberry and cream, her favourite. She didn't know where she was heading and she didn't really care.

The sound of a car horn, made her look behind her. Well it was about time. Shizuka stopped walking, the car pulling up in front of her. She opened the door, climbing in. She twirled the lolly as she closed the door, reaching for her seatbelt. "Shizu-chan, should have waited." The blonde shrugged. "You should have been quicker."

Shizuka sighed. "Why did you take so long?" Izaya's gaze met her own. "It's not for you to know, Shizu-chan." The blond leaned against the window. She was starting to calm down, there was horrible ache in her chest. "I expect Shizu-chan at work on Monday." So that was it, he wanted Shizuo as well. "I don't work for you."

"It's not healthy." Shizuka turned to Izaya. "What?" But the bug didn't say anything else. She went through three lollipops before Izaya stopped the car. "Why are we outside your apartment?" She glared at him. She wasn't playing his game. "Come on, Shizu-chan." Shizuka stayed where she was. "Take me back to my apartment." The bug shook his head. "That's not your home any more."

"What are you talking about? What have you done? You damn bug." The bug opened the car door, climbing out. The door slammed shut leaving her alone. So she didn't have a choice. She climbed out, hearing the car beep behind her, as Izaya locked it,already walking into the building. "Oi, wait up."

She followed him up to his apartment. "What did you mean?" She was ignored as the bug unlocked the door to his apartment. "Coming? Shizu-chan." Shizuka sighed, following him in. The door closed behind her, the small click told her she had been locked in. Great. "Why are you locking the door?"

"Shizu-chan should check their phone." Shizuka reached into her pocket, taking her phone out. She had a missed call from Kasuka. The bug was watching her. She pressed the redial button. Kasuka answered straight away. _Nee-san, are you okay? _The blonde smiled. _I'm fine, Kasuka. It took me a while to calm down. _

_Are you with Orihara-san? _Now she was getting a bad feeling. "Yes, I'm at his apartment." There was a pause on the other end. _I have to get back to the shoot. Nee-san, for the time being you'll be living with Orihara-san. _What? "Kasuka, you said you hated him. Why can't I stay at my own apartment? I'm learning to cook."

_It's not that. Please nee-san, stay with Orihara-san, for me._ Shizuka sighed, she had never rejected any of Kasuka's requests. "But Kasuka, I -" Kasuka cut her off. _Please, nee-san. _Damn it. "Fine. But only until you get back." She hung up the call, turning away and heading for the door. "Is Shizu-chan leaving?"

"What did you do to Kasuka?" She was angry, she knew the bug was annoying and manipulative. But now he had gotten her brother involved. "What do you mean? Shizu-chan." Shizuka turned back from the door, with the intention of putting the bug in hospital. She noticed Izaya hadn't taken out his knife. "Why does he think I should stay here, with you?"

Crimson eyes looked straight through her. They pissed her off, why was he looking at her like that? "It doesn't matter, does it? Shizu-chan. You'll do whatever Kasuka-kun says, won't you?" Shizuka grit her teeth, crouching down. "If I find out, you did anything to him, I'll -"

The bug stayed where he was, he still hadn't drawn his knife. "Yes, Yes. I know. Put my coffee table down, Shizu-chan. I doubt you have the money to replace it." She glared at him, she should throw it and leave. She watched as Izaya pulled his phone from his pocket. "Do I have to call Kasuka-kun? Shizu-chan." Damn him.

Reluctantly shizuka let the table down. "I'm going to work." If she stayed any longer, she would find something else to throw, like maybe his expensive looking sofa. "Shizu-chan doesn't have work until later." Shizuka glared at him. "It's none of your business. Goodbye bug." She was left alone until she opened the door. "Shizu-chan, forgetting something?"

"What?" She turned around, finding him right in front of her. She drew back in shock, as his hand held the back of her head to him, his lips against hers. He was smirking when they broke apart. "See you later, Shizu-chan." Shizuka opened her mouth, ready to yell at him. She blinked as the door was closed in her face. What? What the hell was that?

Shizuka rummaged through her bag, taking out a lollipop. This one was apple, the slight bitterness fit her mood. She scrolled through her phone, searching her brother's number. If Izaya had threatened him in any way... The blonde jabbed the elevator button repeatedly, listening as the call tried to connect. _The person you are trying to call is busy. Please leave a message after the beep. _

"Kasuka, please call me back as soon as you get this." She slipped the phone back in her pocket. The doors finally opened, Shizuka stepped inside. As soon as the door closed, she wondered why she hadn't bothered to take the stairs. The way down was slow. Another thing she had realized. She didn't know where to go from the bug's apartment.

Not that she was going to ask for his help. He had done something. She didn't know what, but the bug had been in her parents house too long after she had left. She turned another street, recognizing the name. Ah, now she knew where she was. If she carried on down this one and turned left, she would be at TGOI.

Instead of going to Artic, like she had told the bug. Shizuka made her way back to her apartment. She ran down the street as she saw the large van outside. They were taking her stuff. That was her chest of draws. "Oi! What do you think you're doing?" The two men jumped as she stormed up to them. "We're the moving men." Shizuka grit her teeth. "Why are you taking my stuff?" One of them blinked. "This is our job, please miss, can you step back?"

"Who hired you?" Though she already knew who it was. "Izaya Orihara." Him again. How much longer was the bug going to interfere? "Stop it, I didn't accept this." She was twirling the lolly like crazy. "No, it was accepted by Kasuka Heiwajima." Shizuka froze. Her brother had agreed to it. "Where are you taking everything?"

"I'm sorry, we can't tell you that." Shizuka crushed the candy between her teeth, walking away. They couldn't tell her. They had told her who had arranged it, who approved it. But not where everything was going. Her home had been taken away. The bug had made Shizuo weak and taken away her home. How much further was he going to go?

_The person you are trying to call – _Shizuka cut the call, she still wasn't getting through. Had Izaya threatened him or was this his own decision? Kasuka had always looked out for her, he had only done something, if he thought it was in her best interest. But if it was to help her, how? She hated the bug.

She spent ages walking around aimlessly, trying to calm down, trying to figure out what was going around her brother's head. She wasn't going to try guessing what the bug was thinking. She finished her current lolly, reaching for another, her fingers brushing the empty plastic wrapper. She had run out. _The person you – _Still no luck, he must be on one of his shoots.

Shizuka stopped by the nearest convenience store, heading around to the sweets aisle. She licked her lips, looking for the lollipops she usually buys. She took one of the bags down, this should be enough to last her usually, but with everything that was happening... Shizuka took down another bag, carrying them to the check out.

The man behind the counter was watching as she approached, giving her 'those' eyes. The blonde counted out the correct money, while he scanned them. She handed the money across, placing the two bags in her own. She smiled at the man, leaving the store. She had wasted enough time, she had half an hour to get to work.

Shizuka crossed the road, seeing a familiar figure standing outside. Vorona was back. Her colleague was younger than her. She had real blonde hair, which went to her shoulder and icy blue eyes. Vorona's uniform was different to hers. Instead of a vest, she wore a black looking bikers jacket, that clung to her figure, it would have shown of her breasts, if not for the white top, that dipped low, still revealing a small cross shaped scar. There was a thin black collar around her neck, with what looked like a thin piece of metal dangling down.

She liked Vorona, the Russian wasn't afraid of her. If anything she constantly challenged her to fights, The blonde liked proving how strong she was, there was a few times, where she might have won. If she didn't have her strength, Vorona would have beaten her easily. Which was why she was working here. She could handle herself. In a way there were quite a few similarities between them. The biggest being, her colleagues huge sweet tooth.

She could see Vorona waving at her, she raised her hand waving back. Sometimes Vorona could be like a child, she was always polite and knew a lot. Some of the questions she had asked the blonde, were answered by a paragraph, instead of a sentence. And her voice sounded slightly robotic.

"Welcome back, Vorona." The teen smiled. "Before exchanging pleasantries Shizuka-sempai. I must inform you Shiki-sempai has instructed we are not to enter the premise, until his business has been conducted." Shizuka looked at the closed door. If she went in she would no doubt be met by yakuza. "How was your holiday?" Vorona was smiling up at her. "Productive. I have the confidence that everything was finished correctly to standard." The blonde returned her smile used to the way she spoke.

"Have you been out here long?" Vorona nodded. "Affirmative, I have been ready here for thirty minutes." Shizuka shook her head, offering the younger blonde a lollipop. "Appreciated. Shizuka-sempai." The door finally opened, Akabayashi stood in the door way. "You can come in now, miss beautiful." Shizuka let Vorona walk in first following behind her.

She twirled the lollipop as she tried yet again to contact her brother. _The person you have called is busy. Please leave a message after the beep. _Still no answer. "Kasuka, please give me a call back. We need to talk." Shizuka dropped the phone back in to her bag. Vorona was staring up at her in curiosity. "There is now a case, I am concerned about. Has everything been satisfactory to Shizuka-sempai, since I was absent?

The blonde shook her head, both Vorona and Akabayashi were looking at her. The door closed to Shiki's office. "It's been fine, Vorona. I'm glad you're back." She led the younger teen to the bar. She didn't have time to worry about her bother or the bug. She had a job to do. She could figure out everything later. After all she had all the time, she wanted.

Next – Living with a bug


	23. Living with a bug

**Living with a bug**

_A/N: Thanks for the reviews and onto the next chapter. Enjoy._

She could feel someone watching her as she started getting the bar ready. She turned around, seeing the younger blonde gazing at her curiously. "Vorona?" Icy blue eyes blinked, still not looking away."Observation and evaluation, show Shizuka-sempai is not the same as previous." Shizuka sighed, Vorona was sharp.

"It's nothing I can't handle. Do you want to start on the tables?" The younger blond nodded, picking up the cloth. Shizuka went back to stocking the bar. The younger blonde had seen straight through her. A bit like someone else. No, she shouldn't be thinking about it. She needed to keep it together, she had a job to do.

The glasses were cleaned, the tables were spotless. Vorona stood behind the bar, Akabayashi was turning the music on upstairs. They were ready to open. Shizuka flipped the sign, opening the door. Artic was now open. She made her way back behind the bar, standing next to the younger blonde.

Within minutes they had their first customers, splitting them between her and Vorona. The night was going smoothly so far, no under-age drinkers, no fights and no one trying anything on her or Vorona. Akabayashi changed the music on the upper floor, Vorona tapped her foot to the beat, while she served.

"Request. Stock has run to empty, Shizuka-sempai." The blonde nodded, heading to the stock room. She found which one she needed, easily lifting it and carrying it back to the bar. Shizuka refilled the correct pump, turning her attention to the customers. "What can I get you?"

She unwrapped a lollipop, letting out a sigh. She had nearly gone through a whole bag. They weren't working any more. She needed something else. Something to try and keep her calm. Well calm-ish. A group of teens entered, Shizuka sighed. She could tell from here they all belonged in high school. "Shizuka-sempai." Of course, Vorona would notice as well.

They held one of their fists out, this is how they usually decided who dealt with trouble makers. She couldn't control her anger, so she wanted to take care of them. Where as Vorona was a fighting addict, she challenged anyone who she thought was stronger than her. Both of them shook their fists. "Rock, paper, scissors."

As usual they drew. Both of them had scissors. "Rock, paper, scissors." Shizuka groaned looking at her hand. She had paper, Vorona had scissors. "They're all yours." The younger blonde nodded. Vorona would throw them out if need be, but she got to serve them. "Vodka and coke for me." Shizuka nodded. "Can I see some I.D?"

She could tell he didn't have any. The teen made a show of rummaging through his pockets. "Ah, I seem to have left it at home. Can you let me off this time?" Shizuka shook her head. "I can't serve you without any I.D." One of the girls in the group stepped forward. "I don't have any I.D, but I'm twenty one. Can't you just serve us?"

Vorona was flexing her fingers, getting ready to jump in. "Look lady, I'm paying for my drink. Just serve us." Shizuka twirled the lollipop. It was a shame she had lost. Maybe next time. "Since you don't have any I.D, I'm going to have to ask you to leave." The boy who had first spoken, grit his teeth. "Why can't you serve us?" Shizuka tapped on the poster in clear view. "What if we pay you extra?" The blonde was getting bored of this now. She tapped the poster again.

"I consider the necessity of questioning. Will you attempt another pointless act, to purchase alcohol? The risk is high, that I will kick you out of the premises." Shizuka stepped back, letting the winner of their little game, take control of the situation. "Are you threatening us?" Shizuka lifted the hatch, walking out from behind the bar.

She grabbed the cloth, starting to clear the tables. She picked up the empty glasses, taking them back to the bar. The blonde saw a flash, as Vorona jumped over the bar, doing as she had promised. She easily took down the main teen of the group. "Suggested action is that you leave." The other teens nodded, dragging their friend away. "Shizuka-sempai. Situation status, neutralized."

Shizuka smiled, taking the empty dishes into the kitchen. Ah, she was really glad Vorona was back. She finished washing them, placing everything in the dishwasher. She then returned to the bar, serving customers. The rest of the night, went by quickly and smoothly.

As her shift had just about ended, the annoying bug that had been in the back of her mind. No matter how much she tried to get rid of him, had just walked through the door. So he wasn't even giving her the chance of escaping? Stupid bug. "Shizuka-sempai. Is the living being, in front of us someone important to you?"

"No, he means nothing to me." She glared at the bug, who was now standing by the bar. "So mean, Shizu-chan." Vorona was giving her a questioning look. "I consider the necessity of questioning -" Shizuka shook her head, cutting her off. "Vorona, he's no one. I'll see you tomorrow." She hopped over the bar, heading out of the door. "Hm, she's an odd one." Shizuka twirled her lollipop. "So are you, bug."

She climbed into the car, pulling her seatbelt across. Izaya got in the other side. Shizuka pulled her phone from her bag. _One missed call – Kasuka. _He had finally called her back and she had missed it. "Shizu-chan?" Should she call him back now? Or wait until she was alone? _Sorry Kasuka, I missed your call. I'll try again later. _She pressed send, slipping the phone back in her bag.

"Where did you send my things?" She leaned against the window, glaring at him. "Kasuka-kun arranged where everything went. What you need, has been delivered to my apartment." Shizuka turned away from him. "As soon as I talk with Kasuka, I'm leaving." Izaya smirked. "So mean, Shizu-chan." She didn't trust that look. He was up to something.

It was too late for her to run, they were outside the bug's apartment. They climbed out of the car, making their way to his apartment. The doors closed leaving them in the elevator together. "What game are you playing?" She found herself staring into crimson eyes. "What makes you think I am? Shizu-chan."

"Do you ever give anyone a straight answer? You're annoying." Izaya shrugged, moving from the rail, his hand, rested beside the head. She hated it when he got so close. He made her blood boil, like it was now. She had very little control as it was, Izaya took that last bit away from her.

"Someone like you, wouldn't understand my reasoning, Shizu-chan." Shizuka glared at him, even as he placed his other hand, on the other side by her head. "Try me, bug." Crimson eyes got closer, as Izaya pressed her against the side of the lift. Ah, it was happening again. That uncontrollable feeling. Izaya's lips were almost touching hers, just a little more and they would be kissing.

She groaned in frustration as he didn't move, his breath covering the distance. She didn't know why she wanted him to continue. She hated him, but the teasing... Shizuka grabbed the back of his head, covering the distance. Izaya smirked into the kiss and she knew she had somehow lost again. Damn bug. Both of them fought against each other, Izaya's tongue wrapping around hers, she felt a slither of panic as he pressed his knee, between her legs. This was getting dangerous. The lift doors opened, she blinked as Izaya stepped back with ease, leaving the elevator.

The door was open when she reached his apartment, she stepped in, closing the door behind her. She was stuck now. "Shizu-chan should get changed. I'll reheat your dinner." She shook her head, she hadn't eaten since the disaster at her parents, but she wasn't going to trust the bug. "I'm not hungry." She pulled out her phone. _I'm free now at any time, we should talk nee-san. _

"Where's my room?" And again with the smirk, which meant this wasn't going to go well for her. "You'll be staying in my room, Shizu-chan. Kasuka-kun already knows." Shizuka blinked. "You took away my apartment, just so I could stay in your room?" The annoyance shrugged. "Why don't you return your precious brother's call? Shizu-chan." The blonde shot him a glare, before storming up the stairs. "Don't break anything, Shizu-chan."

She threw herself on the bed, reaching for her phone and another lollipop. _Nee-san. _Shizuka looked at the time, it was getting really late. "Did I wake you? Kasuka." There was a slight pause on the other end. _No, I'm fine. Are you at Orihara-san's apartment? _Shizuka grit her teeth. "He's really not threatening you?"

_No, I think this will be best for you, nee-san. Since I'm not there, it's better if you live with someone you trust. _Shizuka shook her head, this was a stupid idea. "I don't trust the bug. I hate him." Another pause. _Nii-san trusts him. _So that was it. She was here because of Shizuo. "You're trying to get Shizuo back?" She should have known. It was the only reason Kasuka would accept help from someone he hates. _Nee-san - _

Shizuka hung up the phone, switching it off. She couldn't deal with this at the moment. Even Kasuka was choosing Shizuo over her. She lay back against the covers, wondering what she should do now. She was the stronger of the two, but everyone wanted Shizuo. If Shizuo lifted his life, they would both collapse. After all the time, they had lived like this, something had gone wrong.

"Shizu-chan. Come and eat." Shizuka glared at him. "I know what you want." Crimson eyes met her own. "And what's that?" The bug was leaning against the door, expecting a stupid answer from her. "You want Shizuo back. You're like the rest of them." She kept her eyes on him, he didn't move and nothing told her she was right.

"Why should it matter? Shizu-chan is Shizu-chan. I expect you at work on Monday, whichever one you choose to go as. Though you may have some explaining to do, if you turn up like that." Shizuka blinked. He wouldn't... No he would. He was serious, somehow he would get her into that car. "Like I said, Shizuo isn't coming back." The bug shrugged. "Then I guess you're going to work like that. Eat something, Shizu-chan."

She waited until he was gone, before closing the door. Annoying bug. Shizuka slid under the covers, pulling them over her head. This was stupid. Maybe...Maybe she was changing as well. It was only natural, that both sides crumbled. She had one more day left. After that, she didn't know who to be.

She wasn't sure when she had fallen asleep, she had only meant to rest for a moment, to sort her thoughts out. The room was dark, she was still under the covers, but there was someone next to her, an arm around her waist. She peeled his arm off her, dropping it on his chest. Izaya had meant it then, he was sleeping next to her. They would be sharing this room.

She could tell he was asleep, by his soft breathing. She could kill him now, he had let his guard down completely. Her fingers rested lightly on his face, tracing over the lips that had been gentle, forceful and had caught her by surprise every time. She hated him, didn't she? He was her enemy, an annoying bug. But now... Now, he seemed to be the only one apart from Kasuka that gave a damn about her. It filled her with happiness, knowing she could have someone else.

Someone that didn't want to use her, she didn't know what the bug was up to, what game he was playing. But she knew she was losing, she had probably already lost. The bug shifted and she quickly removed her hand. The same arm wrapped around her, this time she didn't move it.

Well since he was practically offering and the fact she was cold. She let herself move closer, nearly touching his chest. Izaya didn't show any sign he was awake or waking up, then again he was manipulative, she didn't know what he was thinking. "Good night, Stupid flea." Ah! That wasn't good. It looked like Shizuo would be back, quicker than she thought. She was slipping.

Next:- Shizuo's workmates


	24. Shizuo's workmates

**Shizuo's workmates**

_A/N:- Thank you for the reviews. Chapter 26 will be Izaya's log, so you'll get to see what happened. And onto the next bit. Enjoy. This chapter contains a bit of smut._

Shizuka blinked, she had slept well. She blinked again, rubbing the sleepy dust from her eye. There was another body, pressed against her own. Ah, that was right. The fl- bug. She was living in Izaya's apartment. She rolled away, keeping space between them. She should just smash him to a pulp. No, this was what Kasuka had asked her to do. No matter what her brother's reasons were, she wouldn't break a promise.

But it didn't mean they had to get along. As long as she was staying here, her promise counted. Shizuka stared at his sleeping face, how could someone so annoying, look so innocent? She was thinking about him again. Laying back down she closed her eyes, just a few more minutes.

Shizuka rolled out of bed, using her hands to straighten her hair. She had to get ready for work, sometime while she was asleep, she had been stripped down to her underwear. She glanced around the room, looking for her chest of draws or the uniform she had on yesterday. She turned, glaring at the sleeping bug.

She had work today, she needed her clothes."Oi, bug." Izaya kept on sleeping. Was this one of his games? Shizuka climbed onto the bed, leaning over, the bug. "Izaya." No answer. Fine. She jabbed him in the ribs, hard. Anyone else would have been, seriously injured. She was quickly finding out, he wasn't anyone else.

"That's not the way to seduce someone, Shizu-chan." Her face heated up, as Crimson eyes opened, taking in her near naked state. "You get points for effort." Shizuka glared at him, she flailed as she was brought down on top of him, her curtain of hair, sprawled over his chest, their lips meeting. So he wanted to play this game.

She broke away first, lifting her head up. "Where are my clothes?" The man underneath her smirked. "If Shizu-chan asks nicely." Like that was happening. Shizuka gripped the bug's chin, taking control, their lips touched, her tongue, pushing past his lips. Her fingers entangled in his hair and still she wondered why she was doing this.

She hated him, she had since they had first met at the bar. The main question that came to her, was why she had agreed so damn easily. Yes, it was a promise to Kasuka, but if it hadn't? If the bug had asked her to move in for a while. Would she have answered with a straight no? "Give me back my clothes." Right now, this man was the only one who showed, any sort of caring towards her, even if he was an asshole.

The bug ignored her, his head in the crook of her neck. She winced at the sharp bite to her neck, Izaya's hands stroked along her waist. So forceful, yet so gentle. But not for her. Or maybe it was, those crimson eyes, were back. They spoke more than Izaya, ever could. "What is this?" She looked down at the bug, waiting for an answer. "What the hell do you want?"

It was confusing, irritation flooded through her. And why did he keep biting her? Small droplets of blodd ran to her shoulder. Stupid bug, lets see how he likes it. Shizuka gave him her own smirk, leaning down, to cause damage. She shivered as Izaya's hand, brushed along the front of her belly. His fingers pulling on the elastic of her panties.

She felt a small twinge of panic go through her, slapping his hands away. "Don't touch that!" That bit wasn't hers, it was Shizuo's. "Oh? Does that mean I can touch the other part? Shizu-chan." She caught herself before she nodded. It didn't stop the bug, moving his hand underneath her, touching her through the material. No one had ever touched her there. "Bug! Cut it out."

His lips were on hers again, dragging her deeper under. She really was crumbling, she should be punching him and walking out. Instead she was arching her back, pushing against his wandering fingers. She was getting caught again. Izaya was winning this game as well. "Does Shizu-chan really want me to stop?"

Shizuka rolled her hips, grounding down on the annoying bug in answer. Lust filled eyes, gazed back at her. This one scared her. "I have work today." The bug, pressed harder. It was unfair, what he was doing to her body. "Hurry up." Saliva ran from her swollen lips. She was surprised how strong Izaya was, her back hit the mattress, as she was pushed back.

It didn't matter what game Izaya played, she would fight back, just as hard. She was worried that the bug would remove her underwear, she didn't know what would happen then. Her thighs were spread, Izaya down by her legs. What the hell was he doing? She felt his fingers against her inner thighs. She groaned as he pulled the bottom of her panties aside, catching the material.

"What are you doing? Fl -bug." She couldn't see Izaya smirk, but she knew it was there. "Shizu-chan will enjoy this." Ah, the bug was so sure everything was going to go well. She felt something wet run across her entrance. "Oi, bug. Wa-" Her fingers clenched into the covers. Oh! Fuck. Her eyes rolled back, before finally focusing, so she could see what the bug was doing.

"Nn." She felt herself stretch slightly as the wet muscle pushed past, the tight ring of her entrance. She could feel his tongue, moving inside her. Oh! God! She had never felt anything like this. She had heard some people talking about sex at the bar, but this was...

Her body jolted, she was becoming aroused. Oh. "Izaya, enough!" They couldn't go any further. The bug ignored her, continuing what he was doing, bringing her to the edge. But her body didn't work that way. She couldn't orgasm, well as far as she knew. But Shizuo could and since she was currently Shizuka, that would be a big problem.

She brought her fist down on his head, catching his attention. "You need to stop bug." She sighed in disappointment, if only she had a fully working female body. She crossed her legs, meeting Izaya's gaze, once he pulled back. "Was it too much for Shizu-chan?" She climbed off the bed, hoping he didn't see her legs shake. That was close. Way too close.

A cold shower and she was back to normal, no panties or uniform, wrapped in a towel. "Izaya! I need my clothes." She found them folded neatly on the bed. Izaya wasn't in the bedroom. She quickly picked up each item, getting dressed before he came back. Shizuka made her way downstairs, looking for the annoyance.

He was at his desk, logging onto the computer. She made her way past him, into the kitchen. She found a carton of milk in the fridge. "Shizu-chan, pour it in a glass." She glared at him, tipping her head back, drinking from the carton. She gave him a smug look as she finished. "I still hate you." The bug stepped into her personal space, wiping the milk from her lips. She didn't move at the touch.

"I'm going to work, see you bug." Izaya was smirking as he waved, Shizuka shivered. "See you leater, Shizu-chan." She left the apartment as quickly as she could, throwing her bag over her shoulder. She was no doubt early, but she needed to get away from the flea, no bug. She was doing it again.

Maybe she was wrong, maybe she wasn't the strongest. Shizuka shook her head, twirling her lollipop, as she opened the door to the bar. Vorona waved at her. "Shizuka-sempai. Morning pleasantries." She smiled at the younger blonde. "Good morning, Vorona. Let's get things set up."She started heading to the bar. "The case of the living human yesterday. Friend or enemy?"

Shizuka lifted the wooden panel up, taking her place. "I don't know." She smiled at the curiosity in Vorona's eyes. "Analysis, Shizuka-sempai is exhibiting abnormal symptoms." She shook her head. "I'm fine Vorona. My turn on kicking out the first idiot." Vorona sighed at losing the first prey.

As usual it was quiet on Sundays. Well, that was until she heard a familiar squeal, the group she had been expecting, entered Artic. Surprisingly enough, Kadota was standing at the back. Erika and Walker were at the front. In between them were the three teens. Mikado,Kida and Anri. She had managed to get all their names right. "Shizu-Shizu." Erika beamed up at her.

"Karisawa, right?" The female otaku, squealed again. "Shizu-Shizu, remembers me." A big calculating grin appeared on her face. "But. Do you remember who this is?" Shizuka knew where this was going. Erika pulled Kadota forward. "Kadota." The man nodded. "It's good to see you again, Shizuka." Ah, there was still 'that' little problem.

Shizuka flicked her hair back behind her ear, twirling her lollipop. Erika gave a small gasp. Kadota was gazing at her intently, but not her eyes. She wondered what he was looking at. Ah. She had showed them the mark Izaya had left. The one that he kept on leaving. "Eh? Shizu-Shizu has a boyfriend?"

She shook her head, staring at the bar. How did she get out of this one? "Correct assumption. Shizuka-sempai has another." The blonde blinked at Vorona. She hadn't expected the younger to cover for her. "Hanejima-san, are you still not speaking to your brother?" She turned her attention to Mikado. "Not really, why do you ask?"

It was Erika that answered. "We're worried about, Shizu-chan." Shizuka closed her eyes. She shouldn't be listening to this. "He's been different lately and he wasn't in on Friday. We miss him." Ah. "Will he be in on Monday? Iza-Iza, says he'll be back in our department." Ah. Mikado stepped forward. "It will be nice to see him again, he helped me a lot." Kida nodded next to him in agreement.

Her mouth was dry, She tried licking her lips, nothing worked. They cared...about Shizuo. A lot, she could hear in their voices. "Shizuka-sempai?" And now she was worrying Vorona. "I'm sorry, I haven't spoken to him. What can I get you?"

Shizuka poured their drinks, taking them over to the table closest to the bar. "Shizu-Shizu, come and sit with us." She shook her head. "I have work to do." Vorona smiled over at her. "Situation, handled with ease." Which meant she was staying here. Erika squealed moving over, to let her sit down. Next to Kadota.

"I'm going to check out the dance floor." Erika looked between her and Kadota and squealed. Walker and the three teens followed after her. Leaving the two of them together. "Aren't you going to go with them?" She twirled her lolly, resting on the table. "I prefer to stay here."

"That hickey on your neck, was it from your boyfriend?" Shizuka shook her head. "He's not my boyfriend, he never will be." She noticed the small smile appear on his face. "Then a sex friend?" She quickly grabbed the lollipop stick, before she choked on it. "What? No. It's a bug bite." Kadota was still staring at her. "Are you looking for anyone at the moment?" A small light bulb in her head, told her Izaya had tried to help her out, by leaving a mark. But it was too late now, she had said everything wrong.

"No, not at the moment." There would never be anyone for them, no one would accept her. So why was she thinking of the bug again? It was annoying, her hand rested gently on her neck. "But in the future?" Shizuka shook her head, the candy crunching between her teeth. "I'm not looking for anyone, but If you want to be friends, it's fine.

Kadota was silent, before nodding. Shizuka let out a sigh of relief. She wouldn't have to deal with a complicated relationship. "It might make you mad, so I'm sorry if I say anything out of place." She nodded, waiting for him to continue. "You and Shizuo aren't really that different." She blinked, who was he watching then? The two of them were as different as night and day.

"There is the same look in your eye. I've known Shizuo since he first joined. He's kind, to all of us and he'll help out when he can." She shouldn't be listening. "When he smokes, he stares up at the sky. Shizuka, your brother is lonely, there's a sadness in his eyes." He reached over to touch her. "It's the same as what I see now, in yours."

Shizuka pushed her chair back sharply. "I'll be back soon." She made her way past the bar, into the ladies toilets. She felt sick, lonely? Sadness? She didn't feel any of that. She just wanted to be accepted. She leaned against one of the sinks, looking at the row of mirrors.

She could handle her reflection, it was Shizuo that couldn't. So why did the image looking back at her, disgust her? Was that what everyone else could see? She winced as her fist went through the mirror, shards falling into the sink. It wasn't enough, she smashed the other five, ripping the sink from the wall. Shiki was going to hit the roof, but she couldn't stop. Everything was...becoming too much. Everything was... crumbling. It looked like Shizuo was stronger after all.

Next:- Switch-over


	25. Switch-over

**Switch-over**

_A/N:- My laptop has gone to scrap yard heaven. My old one lasted me seven years, this one has lasted...two months. So it's back to currys at the weekend, luckily I have insurance but I didn't register back up cloud. Brilliant, lets see how that works. Anyway, I am now using my sister's one, I have until she gets out of the bath and takes it to read Fairy tail fan fics. Yeah, clearly didn't happen, I had to wait until she went to bed._

_And onto the next bit. Enjoy._

She was a lot stronger than Vorona, but in her current state it was different. The younger blonde had her pinned to the wall. She shouldn't be in here, they had left the bar empty, anything could happen. "Shizuka-Sempai." Her hands were bleeding, it was laughable, shards covered the floor. This wasn't what she did. This was Shizuo.

The male version who was filled with self loathing, who couldn't manage looking in a mirror, without smashing it. Their lives were corroding, that was the only thing she could think of. They had both messed up, letting their lives mix, it was expected that everything would shatter. Shizuo was slowly becoming more violent, while she was being dragged down, by whatever this was.

Her time was up, she had let the control slip from her grasp. She had tried to take over, shouldering both lives. "Shizuka-sempai, situation status?" She looked down at her bleeding fingers, smiling bitterly. "I'll be fine, thanks Vorona." The younger blonde nodded, letting go of her. Shizuka looked at the mess she had made. "Is Shiki-san outside?" She grimaced at the nod.

Vorona offered to clean up, advising her to see her boss quickly. Shizuka wrapped tissue around her hands, it wouldn't hold long, maybe until she was out of Shiki's office. She had promised him, this wouldn't happen again, but she couldn't keep it contained, she wasn't Shizuo.

"Hanejima Shizuka, follow me." Shiki was waiting outside, his two bodyguards behind him as usual. "Yes, Shiki-san." His aura was like ice, it cut deep, making her wounded fingers shake. The blonde gingerly reached into her bag, pulling out one of her lollipops, held between two fingers. The cuts she had made stung, as she bent her fingers, getting it open.

She could see Kadota watching her, his gaze on her hands, his face one of concern. Shizuka turned away, making her way into Shiki's office. He took his usual seat, she sat opposite him. In less than a month, she had been called in here twice. "Do you remember our previous conversation?" The blonde nodded, lolly twirling. "You've made a mess of my club, again."

"I'm sorry, Shiki-san." Her boss crossed his hands. "This is the second incident, Hanejima Shizuka. The damage you have caused, will be taken from your wages." Shizuka nodded, he wasn't firing her? "You may leave for today." The blonde held back the sigh of relief. "Shiki-san, I won't be in next weekend." He was looking right through her. She watched him give a slight nod.

"I may not know about your full situation, however if you don't make a decision, you may find yourself lost with nothing. Remember that." She sat frozen at that gaze, such polite and confusing words. "Goodbye Hanejima Shizuka." Shizuka shook off the icy feeling, "Thank you, Shiki-san." She left the office, feeling the room, warm instantly.

Kadota had moved tables, he was now sitting closer to Shiki's office. Vorona was back behind the bar, icy blue eyes warmed, as they focused on her. "Is everything okay?" She turned back to Kadota. "It's fine, I had a slight accident." Shizuo's collegue was out of his seat, reaching for her hands. "It looks sore."

"It doesn't hurt." She cut their conversation short, making her way over to Vorona. The younger blonde raised a questioning eyebrow. "Shizuka-sempai, There is a case -" The blonde smiled cutting the younger off. "I'm leaving early today. I won't be in next weekend." Vorona nodded, in understanding.

"Goodbye Vorona." Blue eyes blinked back at her. "Goodbye indicates leaving and not returning. Is this the case?" Shizuka couldn't answer, with everything that had happened, something inside her, said she wouldn't be coming back. "Shizuka-sempai?" She shook her head, wrapping her arms around the other.

Without saying another word, she turned around, looking up at the dance floor. She couldn't see Akabayashi, but she could hear his music. Hear Erika's squealing and the other's having a good time. Twirling her lolly, she pushed open the door, letting it close behind her. She heard it open a second later, knowing it was Kadota.

"Are you leaving?" Shizuka started walking, Kadota kept in step with her. "You should take care of your hands." The blonde nodded. "When I get back." Back to Izaya's apartment. It wasn't home. "I can walk you." She turned around to face him. "You don't know where I live." Kadota shrugged. "It doesn't matter."

Ah, he really did have a crush on her. "If I said I lived in Shinjuku?" She knew he didn't need to go that far, he lived in Ikebukuro after all. "I could -" The blonde twirled her lolly, shaking her head. "It's fine, Kadota. I won't be around for a while, so it's better if we don't go any further." She watched his expression turn blank, it could almost rival Kasuka.

"I see, I should check on Karisawa and the others." She nodded, watching him turn and walk back. Shizuka watched him go, before Kadota had opened the door, he had turned back to look at her. He was hurt, she had been so careful and still hurt him. The candy was crushed between her teeth, her strides longer, as she got as far away as possible.

She ended up outside the bug's apartment, staring at the numbers on the door. Izaya hadn't given her a key, she had no way to get in. What were the chances the fl- bug was still inside? Hesitantly, she knocked on the door, wincing in pain. The door was opened, Crimson eyes travelling over her body, taking in everything.

The blonde felt her face heat up, pushing past him. "Shizu-chan is home early." She shook her head,. "I will never count this as my home, bug." The bug's gaze was fixed on her hands, the tissue had started to come off. "Hmm, You hurt yourself? Shizu-chan."Shizuka turned to walk away. "So mean, Shizu-chan. Especially after earlier." Something inside her jerked, her tongue dry. "Shut it, Izaya."

She made her way to the bug's bedroom, closing the door behind her. Looking at the bed reminded her of this morning. Shizuka sighed in relief, Shizuo's wardrobe was next to Izaya's one. There was no sign of her chest of draws, but it didn't matter. She opened the doors wide, pulling out clothes for Shizuo.

Shizuka held the small bundle in her arms. Izaya was outside the door. The next second, her hand was in his, as he checked over the cuts. She snatched it back, the tissue ripping. "I don't know what game you're playing, bug. But it ends here." The bug calmly looked back at her, a trace of that damn smirk on his lips. She found herself up against the wall, his fingers playing with her hair.

"What makes you think I'm playing a game? Shizu-chan." She shook her head, trying not to become aroused from his touches, his other hand, resting on her belly. It didn't matter. She didn't need to care any more. She smirked at him, ignoring his question. "You'll regret it, getting involved with us."

"Why would I?" Her fingers, stilled his, not letting go. "You'll see, after next Saturday, you'll suffer." Shizuka opened the bathroom door. Her lips stealing his, not letting him take control, not this time. As soon as she felt the tables would turn, she broke apart. "Goodbye Izaya." She closed the door, locking it behind her.

Shizuka ran the hot water, waiting for her bath to fill up. The bug didn't own any bubble bath. She stared to unbutton her vest, thinking back on today. She stopped as she caught her reflection, the mirror had been replaced. She didn't smash this one. She moved closer, placing her fingers against it, her reflection doing the same. "Good luck, Shizuo."

The blonde removed each piece of her clothing, dressed in her underwear, Un-clipping the bra, she let it fall to the floor. Her panties followed. Shizuka removed the wig, letting it join the rest, trying to straighten out flat hair. The blond picked up the dirty clothes, placing them in the basket. He made his way over to the bath, switching off the tap, with a loud sigh, Shizuo slid into the water.

He jumped slightly as water, washed over the cuts on his hands. He should have dealt with them first. He let his body soak, trying to tolerate looking at it. The sight of his skin, made him close his eyes, when that didn't work, he looked up finding the ceiling much more interesting. A lot had happened, he glanced down at his hands. He was supposed to be back in his department tomorrow, how was he going to hide this from Kadota?

Shizuo reached over, looking at the shampoo and conditioner. They were surprisingly normal, he had thought the flea would have candy floss or some other childish scent. His fingers tugged at a lock of hair, looking at the bottle, then his hands. Was he really going to do this? Yeah, he was. He hissed as he rubbed the shampoo into his scalp. He should' have taken care of the cuts first.

The blond made sure not to look at the mirrors, as he dried himself and got dressed. Scrubbing his hair dry, he left the bathroom. The bedroom was empty, Shizuo went inside, searching for his cigarettes, he usually had a few packets hidden in his draws. He slammed it shut, in disappointment. He had no cigarettes.

He found Izaya on the sofa watching the news. "Flea, did you take my cigarettes?" Mischievous red eyes looked over at him. "Enjoy your bath? Shizu-chan." The blond ignored him, he still didn't know how to deal with the flea. There in Mr god complex's hand, were his cigarettes, both boxes.

"These are bad for you, Shizu-chan." Shizuo watched as he threw them in the air catching them, then back up. His eyes followed, each throw of his cigarettes. "Hand them over, flea." He reached out, trying to snatch them, his boss easily dodged him. No, there was no point in getting angry. "See you later, flea."

"Where are you going? Shizu-chan." The blond shrugged. "The convenience store." He watched Izaya blink. Damn flea, wasn't expecting that, was he?" Why play Izaya's games, when he could go and buy a new packet? The flea stopped throwing them, the packet in between his fingers. "Ne, Shizu-chan. Why waste time?" But the blond wasn't falling for it. "I'm not Shizuka, flea."

He watched as Izaya smirked, an unsettling feeling in his stomach. "Shizu-chan is Shizu-chan." It was those words that hurt him the most, making him feel more confused than he ever had been before. Maybe it was true, but not yet, not for a long while, he couldn't accept it. He would be throwing away years of practice. "Do you have my phone?" He only had Shizuka's and he couldn't use that, it would bring up too many questions.

"Did you look in the draw?"No he hadn't. Why would his things be in with Shizuka's? Still he went to check anyway, finding nothing there. It was an odd feeling going through, Shizuka's things. They had kept everything separate. For the time being, it looked like he would have to use Shizuka's phone.

He didn't blame Kasuka for getting him into this situation, it wasn't his brother's fault. He knew he only meant well, thinking it was the best for him, though he didn't see how living with the flea would do any good. "Find it? Shizu-chan." He didn't have to turn around to know, Izaya was leaning against the door frame.

"No, Where is everything else?" He turned around to face the flea. "I told you, Shizu-chan. Kasuka-kun was taking care of it." Shizuo shook his head. He didn't tell him, he had told Shizuka. They kept a line between them for a reason. Though that line was cracked and faded, two lives bleeding into one.

The blond stood, making his way past the door, using surprise, to snatch his cigarettes from Izaya's hand. It was still day time, he made his way down the stairs. "Later, flea." He felt the other staring at him as he left the apartment, he needed to get his hands seen to.

Next:- Precious monster part 2


	26. Precious monster part 2

**Precious monster part 2**

_A/N:- Sorry for the delay on this one, I had to read back through the last 13 chapters, making notes. Thank you for the reviews, this chapter is Izaya, so if you wanted to stay with Shizuo, skip this one. Oh and I have a new laptop. Enjoy._

Ah, the look on Shizu-chan's face when I showed up. It was another expression to add to my memory collection. Shock, distrust, I could see his fingers shake, the silly protozoan was going to try and keep me out. I couldn't allow that now could I? Still the blond tried and failed to block the door.

His defences shattered as I showed him, the item I had acquired earlier, Shizu-chan's diary. I easily ducked under his guard, as my precious monster stood frozen. Once he had snapped out of it, the blond had attempted to get me out of the apartment. Not that it worked, Shizu-chan even tried quitting. I wasn't letting him go that easily, it was too much fun.

I stepped closer to my precious monster, wiping the make-up from his neck, Shizu-chan was so mean for hiding my mark. I noticed the flinch as I touched him, so he didn't like being touched or maybe I had that effect on him. The protozoan didn't trust me, even when I explained I wanted to help. Shizu-chan is Shizu-chan.

I left him with the words that would haunt his mind, digging themselves deeper and deeper into his heart. My precious humans, were so easy to manipulate. They listened to the words they wanted to hear, letting them seep through, like poison. Now to see if my monster is any different.

Shizu-chan is reluctant to get in the car,as I offer him a lift. He ignores me carrying on. It's easy enough to keep in pace with him, that is until the traffic lights. I've catalogued the look of relief in my mind. My precious monster looks so happy in the lift, he thinks he left me behind. Hmm, the protozoan is really underestimating me. But I don't correct him, the more slips ups he makes the easier it will be.

I play out the game in my head, thinking of my next move. Shizu-chan is unpredictable, never following my strategies. First was words, the second is slight touches. I know what I'm going to do as soon as he takes my cup from the desk.

Grabbing the cup, we both refused to let go,fingers touching, leading to the coffee, being spilt. I admit that plan didn't work out, The drink was hot and burned. Shizu-chan refused to help me clean up.

I didn't let Shizu-chan out of my sight, even when he had a phone call. One that he clearly didn't want me to hear, it was something embarrassing, judging by the blond's expression. By the end of the phone call, I knew he was speaking to his mother.

It wasn't working, Shizu-chan was acting in the role of a P.A, I needed to be closer. Watching the cctv, seeing Shizu-chan and my precious employees walking from the building, I came up with another idea. One that the protozoan accepted. He could go back, as long as I gave him a lift to and from work. Another puzzle piece slotted into place.

The first journey was quiet, Shizu-chan didn't say anything, he was ignoring me. His face dropped as he looked out of the window. The protozoan left quickly, before I drove away, I got my first glimpse at Shizu-chan's mother. I rarely dislike humans, but this one, I can make an exception for.

Shizu-chan doesn't want her there, his shoulders drop, I reluctantly drive away, after all its not in my plans and there are no early moves in this game. When I turn up the next day, the blond isn't ready. Shizu-chan is distracted,leaving the door open for me. I take full advantage of the opening, getting him to make me a coffee. The table is small, my foot 'accidentally' touching his leg, when he ignores me.

Does my precious monster know how close I'm getting? Small touches, always being by his side. Does he realize how much of it is his own fault? This isn't a well thought out game of chess, The protozoan was twisting things, making it a child's game. What's the time? Shizu-chan.

It's fun and interesting watching his reactions, or sometimes lack of. I'm getting impatient, but my precious monster would run and as much fun as it would be to chase him, its not what I want or what he needs. Instead I'm breaking down his walls, making him come to me.

I ask him to lunch, which he turns down. But it's fine, the best way to get to Shizu-chan is through my other precious humans. The yaoi obsessed one in particular, from the gleam in her eyes, she's already on my side. Which means our first lunch together, Shizu-chan doesn't stop me. We sit together in Russian Sushi, Dotachin is talking about female Shizu-chan.

My precious monster looks confused, he's agreed for the two to meet. Silly protozoan, he's only digging a deeper hole for himself. Now here's my next move, Shizu-chan 'breaks' the tap, covering himself in water, once we return to my office. I leave it a few minutes, before calling the plumber, who is downstairs after 'fixing' the tap in the first place.

Shizu-chan is soaked through, clothes clinging to his slim frame. I let my eyes trail over his body, taking in every inch, the blush on his face on makes him look more delicious. My fingers itch to touch him, but no, it's too early. He doesn't trust me yet, but he will.

He's shaking as he follows me, knowing he doesn't have a choice. I don't mind him getting water on my car seats, I need to get my precious monster changed, before the protozoan catches a cold. It takes him a while to realize I'm not taking him back to his apartment, but mine.

I give my precious monster enough time to take in his surroundings, I rarely let anyone in my apartment. Seeing him standing there dripping water on my carpet, no, not yet. I direct him to the bathroom, with a towel and a dressing gown.

Shizu-chan hates his reflection, he's standing there, blood dripping. My lovely mirror has been smashed. The protozoan was ignoring me again, taking his uninjured hand, I led him to my bed room. This could go quicker than I had planned. I helped the blond bandage his hand, getting him to open up and trust me. I could play nice, when it was needed.

Ah, the look on his face, when he said he'd try and just me, sitting there naked on my bed. I couldn't help but ask to see what was different. My precious monster needed me to push him. He shivered every time I touched him, Who knew Shizu-chan would be so sensitive? Then again, my precious monster has never let anyone touch him, not even himself.

I'm the one taking all of his firsts, the one breaking his walls down. It's me that's corrupting my precious monster, bringing him closer into my arms. The expressions he made, as my hand was bringing him pleasure, made my pants tighter. The small noise he let out, the guilt that showed in his eyes. I drank it all in.

While Shizu-chan was coming down from his high, I took the opportunity to have a closer look. This was what my precious monster hated? It wasn't gross, it was part of him, simply another hole for me to pleasure, with the ability to have children.

Izaya stopped typing looking up at the door, Shizu-chan still hadn't come back. He knew there would be side effects as the wall separating them fell, but the blond had been acting strange. He hadn't ignored him, but he hadn't lashed out or got angry. The way Shizu-chan was acting, was too calm, almost like Kasuka-kun. Maybe he had gone too far.

He thought about following the blond, read his body language, try to see what was going on in his head. It wasn't often Izaya worried over his precious humans. Ne, Shizu-chan. Can you see what you're doing to me? Making himself a coffee, he returned to his typing.

I didn't let Shizu-chan leave, not that he didn't try. I stopped that line of thought, by answering the phone to Kasuka-kun. The two were close, I could use them against each other. By the time the call had finished, I had already made dinner. Shizu-chan wasn't leaving. My precious monster refused to sleep in the same bed as me. That wouldn't do, I teased him throwing the covers over him repeatedly, the protozoan wasn't giving up.

Finally he decided to climb in the bed, he was sleeping the wrong way, but for now it would do. We were getting closer, Shizu-chan fell asleep, there was only centimetres between us. My precious monster was tossing and turning, I'm a light sleeper, I was awake at the first groan. Ah, he was having a nightmare. I could change position, so we were side by side...

Instead I kicked him, waking him up. The second time was to see his reaction, I found myself held above the bed, by my ankle. My Shizu-chan was such a monster. I teased him, making him angry, reminding my precious monster that he was changing. Already he had let me get closer than anyone else he knew.

Shizu-chan looked miserable as I pulled up outside his apartment. His mother was already outside. I could tell he didn't want her there, So I climbed out of the car to help. Not once did she call him by his name, it was Shizuka, dear or my daughter. She had only accepted one of Shizu-chan's lives. She wasn't helping, she was one of the reasons, Shizu-chan had separate lives.

If my precious monster was going to accept himself, this woman needed to disappear. Shizu-chan left us alone, probably trying to cover his embarrassment, seeing how red he was. She asked the usual questions parents do. His name, what he was to her daughter. Then she went on about marriage, children and how he should forgive her daughter's flaws. To her Shizu-chan didn't exist.

The only useful information from that conversation, was the invitation my precious monster had neglected to tell me about. I'm not going to turn down the chance to see Shizu-chan's family. The blond was quiet for the rest of the day. His side was breaking down. Once we were back at his apartment, he told me he wasn't coming into work.

Shizu-chan was suppressing his anger, he could hear the door slam, with the window up. He was bringing out the female Shizu-chan early. I gave him enough time to get changed before going back the next morning. As I predicted it was Shizu-chan. She didn't look happy to see me, her hand going to the faded mark. Ah, Shizu-chan remembered then.

I had watched my precious monster throw things, but I hadn't been on the receiving end of one of those punches. Shizu-chan didn't hold back, It was lucky I hadn't eaten or I would have lost my breakfast. This only made things more interesting.

Shizu-chan had forgotten the lock was broken. The door opened with ease. I stepped in just in time to see my precious monster getting changed. I never would have thought Shizu-chan looked good in a bra and panties, I've reconsidered, my lower half agrees.

I dodged the sofa she threw at me. When that didn't work Shizu-chan resorted to her fists. I wasn't taking another of those punches. The blonde was getting angrier and more reckless, I tossed a few more comments her way. There was a smug look as she thought I was trapped. The chest of draws above her head, were probably from Kasuka-kun.

The way Shizu-chan froze, proved I was right. My precious monster had left an opening. I quickly removed her nightdress, bringing us closer. Her reactions were different, instead of the she blush and panicky voice, there was a cold anger. What Shizu-chan had done wasn't healthy. Any further and it would be a split personality.

My precious monster was unpredictable, the kick was just as painful. With a sigh, I climbed out of the window. It was enough for now. Shizu-chan's mother called, reminding me about the invite. She didn't stop talking, repeating the same words as last time. My precious human was boring me.

Shizu-chan didn't want to go. When she's nervous she twirls the lollipop. It took a while to 'persuade' her, though I was happy enough to continue our little battle. When we arrived Namiko-san was overly happy to see us.

I met the second part of Shizu-chan's problem. The man she called her father. Another of my precious humans, who I felt dislike for. The blonde's face dropped as she was ignored, turning and crashing into me. I admit, this may be another situation where I was wrong. Shizu-chan looked like she would cry.

I had to make sure, Shizu-chan had fought back every step of the way. Taking her wrist I dragged her back into the room. It was the same, this time she made her way to the front door. Her voice was weaker, her head low. Ah, it was a defence. Shizu-chan is Shizu-chan. Apart from the temper, everything else was the same.

I took her hand, bringing her close. My precious monster was so unpredictable, she almost had me fooled. Now that I was past her guard, I had to treat her the same as Shizu-chan, How far would she let me go? Then Kasuka-kun interrupted, the look of sadness was gone, replaced by relief as she clung to him.

It seemed the only one Shizu-chan truly trusted was Kasuka-kun. That might be a problem. They were separated once her parents realized he was there. The blonde was back in my arms, not watching the happy family behind her. Unfair, Shizu-chan. Looking so fragile. She didn't pull away or lash out, she stared at me, looking almost scared.

Again the moment was ruined by Kasuka-kun. By his lack of expression, I couldn't tell if it was deliberate. The actor was led away by his mother, while Shizu-chan headed up the stairs to show me her old room. There were two names on the door. At what age had they had separate lives? The room was split in two, one for male and the other female. This wasn't healthy.

My precious monster had bad memories here, the bed was thrown against the wall, then at me. Shizu-chan was getting frustrated, her anger was getting out of control. I gave her a closer look as she lifted me up, screaming at me. So many cracks, that I had missed before.

I had her underneath me, pinning her down. Our lips joined, unpredictable as usual, She joined in kissing back just as much. Her side was falling, I had both sides now. Of course the younger brother had interfered, letting us know dinner was ready. I had met both parents and seen Shizu-chan's room, I could see why he had turned out this way.

Namiko-san was her usual happy self, already talking. Shizu-chan's father was silent. I took the seat next to my precious monster, leaving Kasuka-kun to sit on the other side of the table. The mother was asking the same questions again. Judging by the way she was looking at the father, the answers were for his benefit.

Shizu-chan flinched as her father stood. Kasuka lowered his eyes. I observed their actions, watching them argue. Now I understood everything. The blonde looked crushed, I needed to get her out of there before something bad happened. Too late, her father had her by the throat. Namiko-san tried to calm him down. While Kasuka-kun looked helpless.

My knife was out, slicing through the air, as I stood in front of my precious monster. I had never disliked one of my precious humans so much. But these two were the cause of Shizu-chan's problems. They were pushing and pulling, manipulating my Shizu-chan.

Shizu-chan lost it, declaring that she would stay as she was, before the table was thrown at her pathetic parents. I stayed where I was, watching the blonde walk away. I ignored the two on the floor, still arguing about Shizu-chan.

Izaya stopped typing, looking at the time. Shizu-chan still hadn't returned. He looked back at what he had written. Whenever he thought back to Namiko-san and her partner, he felt disgusted, that they were counted as humans. More and more he had learned, that his Shizu-chan wasn't a monster. And now that he had broken both barriers, he didn't know what would happen.

He remembered every last word that was spoken at the Heiwajima house. Kasuka had looked up from the mess his sister had left. "Orihara-san, why are you still here?" Following Shizu-chan would be pointless, while she was in this mood. "Let me ask another question, Kasuka-kun. Why are you still here? Your manager is looking for you, isn't he?"

"I couldn't leave Shizuka alone, you can see what my parents are like." The actor lowered his head. "I don't like you, Orihara-san." Izaya had shrugged, he didn't like how close Kasuka-kun was to Shizu-chan. "That's not what you want to say, Kasuka-kun." He could see it, the words on tip of the actors tongue.

"I don't like you, but nee-san seems to trust you and you did protect her." Kasuka cut the distance between them. "How nee-san is living, it's dangerous." Izaya flicked his knife closed. "You want me to bring back Shizu-chan." The actor nodded. "And if it meant Shizu-chan living with me?" Kasuka's mouth opened, before it snapped shut.

"Only until nii-san is back. I don't trust you Orihara-san." To Shizu-chan, Kasuka-kun was the only one that mattered. The actor had given him permission. "Goodbye Kasuka-kun." Izaya left the actor with the parents. Someone ran into the house, he carried on going, but he could still hear. "Yuuhei, You can't walk out of a shoot."

Since then I caught up to Shizu-chan, taking her to my apartment. I let her know the good news, which she took better than I expected. Kasuka-kun had a strong hold over her. Our conversation was cut short as Shizu-chan walked out, heading to work. It was fine for now, I had work for Shiki-san to catch up on.

The food he had made, had gone cold since Shizu-chan had fallen asleep in my bed. Sliding under the covers I put my arm around her, pretending to sleep. Shizu-chan removed it, dropping my arm. I didn't move as fingers traced along my lips. Shizu-chan moved closer, I could feel the heat from her. She didn't do anything as my arm wrapped around her again. The blonde slipped, she called me flea instead or bug.

Just a bit more, Shizu-chan was trying to wake me up. I decided to tease her, leading to another intimate moment between us, but this time we were on a bed and my precious monster didn't object to me continuing. I left another mark, that would put Dotachin and any other pests off asking my Shizu-chan out.

Shizu-chan clung to me, letting me go as far as I wanted. It wasn't until her face became flushed, Shizu-chan ran from the room, heading for a cold shower. A bit more and little Shizu-chan would have been up.

Shizu-chan came back early from work, tissue wrapped around her hands. Someone had a bad day. Shizu-chan sounded upset, her actions screamed that she was stressed. It was earlier than I had expected. The blonde tried to resist him, her fingers clenched, teeth gritted. After a cryptic warning, she closed the door. Once the door opened again, Shizu-chan had returned.

Izaya finished typing, saving the document. Shizu-chan still hadn't come back. He took the phone from his pocket, looking at the screen. "What can I do for you? Kasuka-kun." Shizu-chan hadn't gone to his brother then. _Nii-san is back isn't he? Orihara-san. He doesn't have to live with you now. _

Izaya logged off the computer. "Ah, that's not true, Kasuka-kun. Shizu-chan is mine." There was a pause on the other end. _Orihara-san, stay away from my nii-san. You've done your part. _Izaya smirked. "Ne, Kasuka-kun. Are you jealous? My old secretary was in love with her brother. Is it the same for you?" No answer. "Goodbye, Kasuka-kun. I'll take care of Shizu-chan." He hung up the call, making his way to the door. He needed to find his precious monster.

Next:- Confide in a friend.


	27. Confide in a friend

**Confide in a friend**

_A/N:- Thank you for the reviews and back to Shizuo. Enjoy._

Ah, he needed to talk to Kasuka. He needed to tell him everything was okay and he didn't blame him. He was in the middle of trusting Izaya as well. It didn't mean he would live with him. Shizuo looked down at the cigarette between his fingers. It felt different, he had expected to go back to his stressful life, maybe be angry.

But this, he felt an odd sort of calm. It hadn't been like this before, maybe it was because they were both crumbling him and Shizuka. He brought the cigarette to his lips, inhaling. It didn't make a difference. He used them as a way to get rid of his suppressed anger, they couldn't work if he didn't have any. Instead, he looked up at the sky, as he walked.

His hands hadn't stopped bleeding, each cut was sore and painful. Trust Shizuka to finally lose it. He had thought it would be easier to stay as one side. Instead it was him who had been left to face everything. He who had always suppressed everything, the weaker of the two.

Shizuo made his way to the door, using the less damaged part to knock. "Coming." He smiled as he looked at his old friend. "Shizuo, it's been a long time." Yeah it had, he didn't like keeping his closest friends in the dark. "Sorry Shinra, I came about this." He held up his hands for the doctor to see. Shinra whistled, leading him into the apartment. "You finally lost your temper again?"

Shizuo shrugged. "Something like that." It wasn't actually him that had caused any damage. He followed Shinra into what looked like a makeshift clinic. He took a seat on one of the beds, while Shinra brought a trolley around. The blond hissed as the first of the antiseptic was spread across his hand.

As always Shinra did a perfect job, he looked down at the cleanly wrapped bandages covering his hands. "As payment, can I have a blood sample?" The blond snatched his hands away. "I'm kidding, Shizuo." At that point the door opened, making a wide smile break out on the doctor's face. "Ah, there you are my beloved Celty."

His best friend walked into the room. Celty Sturluson, the one Shinra was infatuated with. She was wearing her usual black biker jumpsuit and yellow helmet with cat ears. She took her helmet off, revealing her brown hair and green eyes. He didn't know how old his friend was, but she looked young. He watched as she typed a message onto her phone.

Celty was mute, she had been for as long as he had known her. But she was the one he always went to for advice and now was no different. _Shizuo, it's been so long. How have you been? _See was already concerned about him. "Do you mind if we talk?" It was mainly directed towards Shinra, he was very protective and jealous over his fairy as he called her.

Celty set her lips in a thin line. It was too late, she had seen his hands. _I'll be back soon. _Shinra nodded, watching as they both left the apartment. The last words he heard were his friend's declaration of love. The faint blush on Celty's cheeks told him, she had heard as well.

He waited until she pulled her motorcycle out from where she had parked it. She had named it Shooter, treating it like it was the most precious thing in the world. _Climb on. _Shizuo nodded, climbing on, holding onto the sides, taking the spare helmet offered. Celty was smiling as she started the engine, hearing it roar to life.

She drove fast through the streets, until they were at a park. He hadn't been here for ages. Celty stopped the bike, letting him climb off. The bandages were still perfect. They made their way to the park bench, Shizuo rested his arms on the back of it, staring up at the sky. A tap on his shoulder, made him turn to read the message. _What did you want to talk about?_

Where should he start? I ignored Kasuka? I live with a flea, with a god complex? I was born as both male and female? He didn't know, but at the moment it didn't matter. "So much has happened lately, I should be angry, but there's nothing there." _Did you ask Shinra? _Shizuo shook his head. "He doesn't know about things like this." His friend dealt with physical wounds.

_Maybe you're depressed? _He didn't know, maybe staying with this new mood was better. _Shizuo? _She had a concerned look on her face. "I don't know, Celty." He looked up as she rested her hands on his. _Why haven't you visited sooner? _Shizuo lowered his head. She didn't understand, she couldn't understand since she didn't know. So why not fix it? "There's something about me, that I haven't told anyone before."

The blond stared at her, trying to get his message across. _I won't tell anyone, including Shinra. _Ah, he could always count on her. But he couldn't say it, not yet. He had never said it out loud. "Can you pass me your phone?" Celty handed it over. He typed out the basics of what he was, handing it back. Celty was the the first person he was willingly telling.

Green eyes widened at each word. She blinked looking over at the blond. _Does anyone else know? _Shizuo shook his head. "Just my family." And Izaya. Her hand squeezed his. _Thank you for telling me. _Shizuo nodded, he hadn't said the words, but she knew now. He didn't regret telling her, if anything he felt better.

_So Shizuka got upset and did that? _Celty gestured at his hands. "Yeah, then it was back to me." His best friend was quiet for a while. _Maybe this is what's left. If everything has fallen, then you need to rebuild. _Shizuo blinked. That was true, he had given up and passed things to Shizuka. In the end she had given up and passed it back to him. But he hadn't been ready.

He hadn't wanted to come back, he wanted to stay asleep and let her handle things. _Shizuo? _The blond shook his head. It was that simple. "I think you're right, Celty. What do I do now?" Celty tilted her head, before she started typing. _Do you still want to live the same lives? Now is your chance to create a new one. _

He was still there, long after she had left. He was a mess, as was Shizuka. So where did he go from here? First things first. He took his phone from his pocket, scrolling through the contacts. He selected Kasuka's name, listening as it connected. _The person you are trying to call... _Ah, just when he wanted to apologize.

He was still staring up at the sky, watching it turn dark, when he heard a car pull up, the slamming of the door and the familiar rustle as someone sat next to him. He didn't have to turn, to see it was Mr god complex. "I thought Shizu-chan had ran away." In a way he had, away from himself. "Were you worried? Flea." Those crimson eyes were looking through him. Can you see what you've caused? You damn flea.

"Ah, Shizu-chan is supposed to be trusting me." The blond pulled out a cigarette, lighting up. "Yeah, I'm not staying with you. Give me back my apartment." He felt the other shift closer. Still he felt nothing. "Shizu-chan's being boring." Maybe, but it was safer. "Don't ignore me, Shizu-chan." He hadn't forgotten, don't ignore the flea, you'll regret it.

His eyes widened as he found himself looking into crimson eyes. A pair of lips against his. What the hell? Damn flea. They were out in public. Mr God complex was climbing into his lap, arms wrapped around his head. "Get off me Izaya." The damn flea ignored him, continuing what he was doing. He didn't feel like pushing him off, he couldn't gather up the strength.

"Shizu-chan isn't saying no." He flinched as the flea moved lower, undoing each button, working his way down his chest. He flinched slightly, as he was touched. But that hand didn't stop, working it's way down. Yes he had agreed to trusting Izaya, not like this though. Ah, he could feel it, a small spark inside him.

Maybe he hadn't lost everything. With each touch it was growing, turning into rage, even though his body was reacting in a completely different way. He let it fill him, not bothering to control it. It was pathetic that the one who had caused the destruction to his lives was Izaya, but now he was the only one that could bring that spark back.

Shizuo grit his teeth. Finally there was some emotion, it wasn't much but it was a start. Izaya must have sensed what he was about to do, since the damn flea broke away, hopping from his lap. "Ready to go? Shizu-chan." Ah, there it was the urge to rip the bench from the ground and aim it at the annoyance.

He climbed into the car, knowing he had no where else to go. For the time being he would stay with Mr complex, until he spoke to Kasuka, until he got everything back, he would stick with the annoyance. He slammed the car door, watching as Izaya winced at the sound. The flea climbed in after, pulling on his seat belt.

"Ah, Shizu-chan's back to ignoring me. You should ignore me." Shizuo turned away, resting his arms on the window. "Shut it, flea." It was quiet on the way back, on his part. Izaya didn't stop with his annoying comments. He covered his smile as he felt that urge again. All it took was being around the annoyance. If that was the case, then staying with Izaya was the best thing he could do.

He only had to live with him, tomorrow at work he wouldn't have to see him, he'd be flea free for the entire day. The hidden smile faded as Izaya pulled the car up outside his apartment. The flea smirked as he stood by the lift. "I'll take the stairs." He didn't watch to see if the expression dropped. If he was staying here, it would be by his own choices and his own rules.

He was halfway up the second flight, when his phone rang. He smiled as he looked at the call screen. "Kasuka." There was a pause on the other end. _Nii-san. Is everything alright? _The blond nodded, before remembering his brother couldn't see him. "Yeah, I wanted to tell you, I don't blame you."

_Nii-san? I'm sorry. Nee-san said you wouldn't come back. _Shizuo sighed, Kasuka had made the right choice. "I don't think she's coming back." Another pause. _Is this because of Orihara-san? _Maybe, nothing had happened until he got involved. "It was because I mixed the two. It should have been separate. _Nii-san, I'll find us a new place to live, you don't have to stay with him. _For now he felt like he needed to. Until he found someone else that made him feel like this.

"Kasuka, it's fine for now." He could hear the small sigh his brother made at the other end. _Whatever Orihara-san told you – _Shizuo smiled, shaking his head. Kasuka was still trying to protect him. "I'll be fine." Another sigh. He had never seen or heard his expressionless brother sigh so much. _Then Orihara-san knows everything? _Everything in the diary he did. _Did you tell him your period starts next Saturday?_

Ah, he hadn't attempted to tell him, he wondered how long it would be until, the flea tried to kick him out. He had seen him, he had seen Shizuka. Yet he hadn't seen when they were together, confused about who they should be and very high maintenance. "No, I haven't told him yet." There was a pause on the other end. _Nii-san, Don't tell him. _Well he hadn't expected that from his brother. _I don't like him, nii-san. If he's forced you to live with him, he should deal with the consequences. _Congratulations Mr god complex, you managed to piss Kasuka off.

Next:- Back to work


	28. Back to work

**Back to work**

"Yeah, thanks Kasuka." Everything was fine between them now. _Good luck, nii-san. I'll try and see you soon. _Shizuo smiled as he ended the call, making his way up the rest of the stairs. He found Izaya waiting outside, leaning against the door. "Shizu-chan is finally here. The lift is a lot quicker." The blond shrugged. "I felt like taking the stairs." Who knew what the flea would try to do to him when they were alone.

He watched Izaya unlock the door and followed him in. Shizuo turned away as his stomach grumbled. It was getting late and he hadn't eaten lunch or dinner. "Ah, Shizu-chan hasn't eaten." He winced as mr god complex grabbed his hand, pulling him towards the sofa. He really needed to stop punching mirrors.

Shizuo was left on the sofa, as the flea disappeared, minutes later he was back, handing him a tray. Ah, so Izaya had made him dinner. He picked up the fork, wincing at every movement he made. Of all places to damage, why had he chosen his hands? It would have been easier to kick, but he hadn't been in the right frame of mind, he hadn't been calm like this.

"That looks painful, Shizu-chan. Do you need some help?" That smirk was back, Shizuo couldn't stop him as the fork was taken from his loose grip. "I can do it, flea." Mr god complex was already scooping food up, hovering the fork near his mouth. Damn it, this was humiliating. He could feel his face heat up, as he opened his mouth, accepting the first mouthful. He could handle it, this much. But if the flea blew on his food, he was going through a window. Ah, it was still there. That small spark. For now, he was hungry and needed to eat.

He didn't flinch as he felt a hand on his leg. He accepted another mouthful, chewing and quickly swallowing. "What game are you playing? Flea." Izaya had said he wanted to help, but how far was he going to go? He had moved him into his apartment and now he was feeding him. "Like I said before, Shizu-chan." The blond shook his head. "You didn't say anything to me, flea."

"Shizu-chan is Shizu-chan." His breath hitched, damn it. The look in the flea's eyes told him, he knew exactly what he was doing. Those words ran through his veins, stayed in his head and every time he finally managed to get them out of his system, the flea said them again. "Stop saying that."

"Does it bother you?" Izaya was back to watching him, his movements and reactions. "I'm going to bed." He stood up, making his way past the flea. "Good night, Shizu-chan." Shizuo shook his head, making him way up the stairs. Yes, it bothered him. Each time it was said, it made his situation more real.

Pulling the pillows onto the floor, he laid down, leaving the covers where they were. His eyes closed, but he didn't sleep. The way he was now, he didn't feel awake. He was stuck in between. He finally managed to doze off, his mind still awake as he heard footsteps coming into the room. "Shizu-chan, really?" He heard rustling and then something was dropped on his head. Damn flea. "What are you doing? Flea."

"Oh, Shizu-chan is awake?" Even in the dark, he could see him smirking. "We agreed to share a bed." Shizuo yawned. "You agreed, I'm fine here." More movement, it got warmer as he felt someone lay down next to him. Panic running through him, as an arm was thrown over his waist. Ignore it, but the heat in those fingers, the fire it sent along his skin. "Good night, Shizu-chan." He shuddered at the hot breath against his neck.

"Get off me, flea." They were too close, the bed would have been a safer option. "There's only one set of covers, Shizu-chan." He was doing it on purpose and fuck he was getting aroused, each little movement, he could feel Izaya grinding against him. "Fine, the bed it is." Shizuo broke free of the flea's grip, climbing onto the bed and throwing the covers, over himself. He had a feeling that no matter what option he had picked, the flea had won.

He slept at the edge of the bed, but he could still feel him, there next to him. He finally calmed down enough, to relax, his eyes closing and sending him to a world of dreams. Shizuo dreamed of a world split in two, falling rocks and smashed mirrors.

The blond groaned as he woke up, the other side of the bed was empty. It was the start of his new life. He had two weeks to decide who he wanted to be and if Shizuka was coming back or not. He was already running out of time, now he had to re-build his life and he knew he needed the flea for it, whether he wanted him involved or not.

Izaya was sitting at the table, already eating when he came down the stairs. "Good morning, Shizu-chan." The blond nodded, sitting on the other side of the table, where the flea had placed his food. "You could still be my P.A. Until your hands heal." Shizuo shook his head. "Nice try, Izaya. I'm not hiding from Kadota."

There was less pain in his hands now, but they still hurt. He could lift a spoon and use it, he didn't need mr god complex to feed him. Shizuo ignored anything he said as he made his way to the bathroom, showering was slow and annoying, he had to make sure his hands weren't under the spray. He got dressed and met Izaya at the door.

He didn't know what he would say to his workmates about his hands, he still hadn't come up with a story and he knew they would talk to him about Shizuka. The journey to work was silent. He was back to ignoring the flea and Izaya didn't push him.

Shizuo climbed out of the car, slipping a cigarette from his packet. He leaned against the wall, surprised to see Kadota there, waiting for him. Damn it. "Morning Shizuo." The blond nodded, leaning against the wall. "Morning." There was an awkward silence between the two. "Have you spoken to Shizuka?" Shizuo shook his head. "We don't talk." He concentrated on his cigarette.

"She's not answering any of my calls, Shizuo. I think I said something wrong." He didn't want to look at the guilt on Kadota's face. "We went to see her on Sunday. I told her she looked lonely and I compared her to you. Shit, Shizuo. She got in trouble with her boss and when she left, she was in a really bad way. Her hands were bleeding." Shizuo shook his head. "She'll be fine, Shizuka was always the strong one."

He didn't see where the flea had gone, it wasn't his problem any more. Stubbing out the last of his cigarette, he followed Kadota into the building. "I know you two don't get along, but maybe if you can get hold of her? Shizuo, she punched through every mirror in the ladies toilets. What if she's used to self harming?"

Shizuo stopped, pulling both hands from his pockets. Self harming. Is that what everyone thought he had done? Shizuka had taken her aggression out, she hadn't been able to hold back. Was everyone worried about her? Vorona, Shiki-san, Anri? There were so many people he had made relationships with, both as himself and Shizuka. "What did you do to your hands?"

Kadota had a similar expression on his face, when he had seen Shizuka's hands. "Kasuka tried to teach me how to cook, I messed up." Kodota whistled. "You burnt yourself? Are you sure you should be working today?" The blond shrugged. "They don't hurt as much as they did yesterday." Kadota opened his mouth to say something, he was cut off by a high pitched squeal. "Shizu-chan. Welcome back. I missed you." Erika's arms wrapped around him. "What did you do to your hands?"

"Cooking accident." Erika reached for his hand, holding it in hers. "Poor Shizu-chan. Does Iza-Iza know?" Kadota dragged her away, letting her spout nonsense about him and Izaya. At the moment, she wasn't that far off. Still it was good be back, they had kept his desk cleaned. Shizuo sat down, switching on his computer. He knew exactly where the camera was and that Mr god complex was probably watching him.

The blond typed his login in, slightly confused when it was rejected. Ah, he was trying to use the one Izaya had given him. He typed in his old password, waiting for his login to be accepted. It was just the four of them now on one desk. Kadota, Karisawa, Walker and him. Just like how it was in the beginning.

_Good morning my lovely humans. I hope you enjoyed the weekend. Please work hard and if you have any problems, let me know. _Even now, he had to listen to the flea's voice. "So, Shizu-chan. What was it like being in Iza-Iza's office?" It was obvious all of them didn't know about the second camera. Was Izaya watching him or doing his work? Better yet who would make his coffee?

Shizuo shook his head, he shouldn't be worrying about the flea, he had his own job to do. "A lot harder than working down here." Erika squealed, pen and paper in front of her. "Did he make any demands?" The blond sighed, opening his emails. Every press of a key, made him wince. "Just making coffee. Did anything happen while I wasn't here?"

Walker shook his head. "Nothing much, that annoying client phoned in asking for Tom. You could hear him yelling in his office." Shizuo looked over, seeing his boss sitting at his desk. "And I got a warning for reading manga while on the phone. Some people don't appreciate it." Erika pouted, opening her draw. "Oh, Shizu-chan. I drew something."

Before he could look, it was snatched from her hands, by Kadota. "I don't think you should be showing, Shizuo that." Erika pouted again. "Shizu-chan should see it. Shizu-chan and Iza-Iza are made for each other." She was back to squealing, spinning in her chair. "We should go to Russian Sushi again, you can ask Iza-Iza." Kadota shook his head, sending him a sympathetic look. "Ignore her, Shizuo."

The day passed by quickly and smoothly, no interruptions from Izaya asking for coffee, no sign of him at all. But he knew the flea was watching, he could feel it. He had seen just how much time he spent watching CCTV. Soon it was lunch time, all four of them logged off their computers, making their way out of the building. Not one of them commented on him acting any different. Either they were being polite or they hadn't noticed.

Shizuo looked around, just to check the flea wasn't following them. Nothing and his car was still there. That should be a good thing. So why was he still thinking about him. He shook his head, following the others into the café. He didn't really feel like eating, maybe he should have another word with Celty or Kasuka. No, he didn't want them to worry about him.

He ordered a small portion of chips, which he played around with and a strawberry milkshake. Walker and Karisawa were talking to each other about manga, while Kadota was checking his phone, probably seeing if he had any messages from Shizuka. Shizuo twirled the straw, drinking the strawberry liquid.

The rest of the day passed in the same way, quiet and smoothly, no mr god complex, the sound of typing and the occasional manga or yaoi reference between Karisawa and Walker. Everything was back, to how it was supposed to be, so why did he feel so restless? He wasn't smoking as much either. He had two, one when he started and one during lunch.

"Ah, it's been a good day, Shizu-chan. It's like old times." Shizuo smiled at Erika, seeing the time. His first day back was over. "Yeah, I'll see you all tomorrow." He closed down his emails, logging off and shutting down his computer. "Shizuo, do you mind if we talk?" The blond waited for Kadota to log his off, the two of them walking together.

"It might be because you were with Izaya, that we haven't seen you much. It's just you seem different and you haven't had as many smoke breaks." Shizuo shrugged, there wasn't much he could do. "I mean, are you going through the same thing as Shizuka?" So that's what it was about. "No, me and Shizuka are two different people. She has her own life." Maybe not any more. _Shizu-chan is Shizu-chan. _He didn't want to think about that right now.

"Okay, but if there's anything-" Shizuo patted him on the shoulder, forgetting about his hands. "I'm fine, Kadota. I'm sure Shizuka will be too." Kadota nodded. "See you tomorrow, Shizuo." The blond watched him walk away. He had a bad feeling, Kadota had put everything together and now he knew, that at least they were the same person. Twice now, he had said he and Shizuka were the same.

Shizuo stood by the car, waiting for the flea to leave the building. Nearly ten minutes later, mr god complex made his way out of the building, still looking like he was above everyone else. "Shizu-chan, you waited." Crimson eyes were widened slightly. Shizuo shrugged climbing into the car, and putting on his seat belt. "Unpredictable as usual." The blond hid his smile as he leaned against the window.

His smile faded as the flea concentrated on driving. His first day had gone well. But it didn't change anything. He had four days before the last of that crumbled line came down, he and what was left of Shizuka would mix and he wouldn't know who he was. Four days and then Izaya would find out, the full extent of his problem and what high maintenance really meant. Eleven days and he would need to decide, where his life would go from here. Whether or not Shizuka would be back and return to Artic. _Shizu-chan is Shizu-chan. _He let out a sigh, ignoring the flea's questioning gaze. Maybe he was.

Next:- Back into routine


	29. Back into routine

**Back into routine**

_A/N:- So yep, it's been a long time. Anything that can go wrong has. Oh, I found an app on the iphone called pocket fiction, which is a link to . Its really handy. And on with the next chapter. Enjoy._

Not that he wanted to admit it, but he had spent all day expecting Mr god complex to bother him. Shizuo sighed leaning against the window, he glanced over at Izaya, wondering what his boss was up to. He jumped as he realised those crimson eyes were already watching him. "Shouldn't you be watching the road?"

"Is Shizu-chan embarrassed?" The blond scowled. "No, Keep your eyes on the road. Before we end up in an accident." He reached over, pressing one of the buttons, ignoring Izaya's questioning gaze. Once the window had wound down, he let go, resting in his usual position. Trying to cool down his unusually warm body. He hoped he wasn't coming down with anything. "Shizu-chan?" He cursed the fact his boss was so observant.

When Izaya parked the car, he undid his seatbelt, feeling into his pocket, as he stepped outside. He needed something, usually it would be his cigarette, but in his hand lay, his usual packet of cigarettes and a strawberry and cream lollipop. He wasn't sure how it ended up there, but it wasn't a good sign. Especially as he put the cigarettes back in his pocket, unwrapping the lollipop.

Shizuo wrapped his tongue around the small candy, tasting the sweetness, instead of inhaling the bitterness of nicotine. His fingers twitched, unconsciously twirling the lollipop. It was probably be a bad sign. He turned around hearing the closing of the car door and the beep, letting them now it was locked. Crimson eyes narrowed. "Is Shizu-chan quitting smoking?"

He shrugged, walking with Izaya to the lift. "Its nothing to do with you." He didn't get a reply as they entered the lift, waiting for the doors to close. Shizuo closed his eyes, leaning against the thin rail running along the side. He could feel Izaya watching him. Mr god complex was directly on the other side.

Should he really be picking up Shizuka's habits? That could only end badly. He was rebuilding his life, but should they be separate again? Since he was mainly male he should accept who he was and stay as Shizuo. But he couldn't. He had never been able to, he was different from everyone. Though he supposed he could ask about surgery, it didn't feel right.

He was part female, he couldn't just get rid of Shizuka. He had tried before and it was thanks to Kasuka, the situation had calmed down, before it had gotten out of hand. Then there were his parents, if he got them involved, they would take sides like usual. And what about Vorona and Shiki?

He hadn't realized he was staring at nothing, until he felt a sharp poke at his shoulder. "Shizu-chan." Shizuo recoiled from the touch, swallowing the flavour of strawberry and cream, that now tasted metallic, he hadn't noticed Mr god complex had gotten so close. He blinked as Izaya closed the space between them. "Oi, what are you doing?" He was feeling warmer by the second and closed in. "You're bleeding, Shizu-chan."

Shizuo blinked, not moving as he felt Izaya's thumb on his lip, hand on the wall behind him, blocking him in. "You didn't realize?" He didn't nod or shake his head. He couldn't look away from that gaze, the one that saw though him. The lollipop was gone from between his lips, now in Izaya's fingers, that had moved away from his mouth.

He shivered at the feel of Izaya's tongue against his lip, licking away any blood. He didn't want this, he wasn't ready for anything like this. It wasn't fair to his partner, as of yet no one had accepted him. Apart from the one currently asking for entrance to his mouth. _Shizu-chan is Shizu-chan. _His lips parted, letting the other in. He wanted to feel more of this new sensation. A feeling of self loathing shot through him. Another thing he was indecisive about.

The hand on the wall, moved to caress his cheek, while that other hand, was dangerously low, but not doing anything. His own hands lay idle at his side, trying to figure out whether he should push Izaya away or pull him in closer. His body was heating up,as Izaya explored his mouth, gently prodding his own wet muscle, trying to get him to join in. He didn't understand why the other was kissing him, especially when his saliva tasted of blood.

Shizuo jolted as he felt the other hand move, sliding over his clothed growing erection. He threw his head back, breaking the kiss, wincing as he hit his head. "What the hell are you doing?" Mr god complex looked at him, hand resting on his shoulder. He was too close. "I could ask you the same thing, Shizu-chan. You agreed to trust me, if there's something bothering you, you should tell me."

The blond shook his head. "I said I would try, I'm not Shizuka any more, so why are you bothering?" He didn't get an answer, not even a smart ass one. The lift finally arrived at their floor, doors opening. Shizuo pushed past Izaya, a little rougher than he should have. He didn't stop as he heard a small thud, knowing that he was losing control.

But it was Mr god complex's fault. He was the only one that could bring life back into him. But that didn't mean he was in control. He was starting from scratch, building a new life, with nothing but the wreckage from his old ones. Shizuo slumped down on the floor, once he got to the apartment. He really was a monster.

"That wasn't nice, Shizu-chan. You could have waited." He didn't look up, he could tell by Izaya's voice, he was fine. He could hear the key turning in the lock, the door opening. As he stood, feeling sorry for himself, he felt the phone vibrate in his pocket. He walked through the door, taking it out and looking at the screen. He didn't need this. Not now.

Sitting on the sofa, he left the phone vibrating on the table. It was annoying, the only time his father was persistent was when he was Shizuo. He was the parent that would be glad, Shizuka was gone. "Aren't you going to get that?" The blond sighed, shaking his head. "He'll get the hint." He watched the other shrug, taking off his jacket. The phone finally stopped. "What do you want for dinner? Shizu-chan."

Shizuo shook his head. "I'm not hungry. Goodnight." He picked the phone up, turning it off, before making his way up the stairs. He closed the bedroom door, stripping as he made his way to the bed. He huddled under the duvet, feeling sick to his stomach. Maybe a good night sleep would help. He closed his eyes, trying to get rid of the stress he was feeling again. Maybe it would be safer for everyone if he stayed away from Izaya.

He dreamed of a child with messy brown hair, he was building a tower, placing each block on top of each other. Once it got to a certain height, the child lashed out knocking it down again. There was nothing else in this dream, no string, no rubble, just this child and a shattered mirror. He watched as the tower was rebuilt again, wincing as the pieces flew off in different directions, as the child's arm, lashed out. It was when the child looked up, he realized it was him. Tears streamed down his face, his mouth opening. _It won't stay standing, if you don't try to keep it up. _His dream self smiled. _Shizu-chan is Shizu-chan. _

Shizuo shot up, sweat dripping from his forehead. What was with that dream? He would have preferred to stay with the falling rubble. He bent his knees, placing his head between his knees, breathing sharply, as if there was no oxygen left in the room. He flinched as a hand rested on his shoulder. "Shizu-chan?" He could faintly hear the sound of footsteps, a click and then the room filled with light.

He felt the bed dip, that hand on his shoulder again. He couldn't breath, it was too fast, it hurt. His vision blurred, black spots covering his eyes. "Shizu-chan. What's wrong?" He didn't know. He shook his head. "I...can't ...breathe." He felt sick and faint. "Shizu-chan, lower your head. HE felt two hands, either side of his head. "Take a deep breath, nice and slow." He blinked, trying to follow Izaya's instructions.

Ah, now he remembered. This had happened before in front of Kasuka. "Shizu-chan?" Shizuo didnt look up, he kept his head, between his knees, keeping his breathing even. He had showed Izaya, yet another weakness to use against him. "What time is it?" His voice sounded dead, even to him. "Twenty to twelve." The blond nodded, reaching for his phone. "Do you want me to call Shinra?" Shizuo shook his head. "I'll call Kasuka."

The phone was snatched from his fingers, he glared into crimson eyes. "Go to sleep, Shizu-chan. I'll help you." He was about to protest, when Izaya put an arm around him, pulling him onto the bed beside him. "What are you doing? You damn flea." Those eyes met his own, but he couldn't see the mischief or any hint that it was a joke. "I'm comforting you, Shizu-chan."

"Get off me." He could easily remove Izaya's arm from his side, but the warm comforting feeling he currently had, wouldn't let him. "Go to sleep, Shizu-chan." Shizuo sighed, half-heartedly pushing the other away. He closed his eyes, leaning on his arm to hide the small smile. "Good night, Shizu-chan."

Shizuo felt horrible when he woke up the next morning. His head was pounding, a growing pain in his stomach. He pulled himself out of bed, gripping his head as he swayed. Maybe he should have eaten yesterday. "Ah, Shizu-chan is awake. Breakfast is ready." Shizuo held his stomach as he made his way to the bathroom.

Maybe he should skip today and see Shinra. Something was wrong. He climbed out of the shower, slipping on his work clothes. Making his way down the stairs, he saw Mr god complex was already eating. Shizuo made his way to the table, sitting in one of the chairs. "Shizu-chan. Are you okay?" He didn't move as Izaya's hand touched his forehead. "Stop that, I'm fine. Flea."

He wasn't the only one that had changed. The flea was acting nicer, almost as if he cared. He ate in small bites, not looking up. He knew Izaya was watching him. "Hurry up, flea." He bit his lip as more pain rippled through him. "I didn't realize Shizu-chan wanted to get to work so badly." Shizuo shook his head, leaving the apartment.

If he stayed still, as Izaya drove, the pain wasn't as bad. The more he moved the worse it got. He had a really bad feeling, knowing what it might be. After all he had the same symptoms every month. But he still had time, he wasn't due yet. So he must be coming down with some sort of sickness.

He wasn't sure what Mr god complex said, he closed his eyes blocking out the pain. It was nothing, he dealt with it all the time. A hot water bottle and a rest and he would be as good as new. Which meant... ah, fuck. His eyes snapped open, Shizuo jolted back startled, meeting that crimson gaze. "Oi, flea. What are you looking at?"

Crimson eyes narrowed. "What's wrong? Shizu-chan." Was he really that bad at covering his problems up? "Stop the car." He waited until the car slowed at the traffic lights, before undoing his seatbelt. "Let me out now." He grit his teeth, hearing the child lock. "Do you want me to take you to Shinra?" Shizuo shook his head. "Not Shinra. I'll be fine, just let me out."

He could see Mr god complex wasn't about to let him out, he moved his leg, ready to kick the car door off. He shot Izaya a glare, showing he was serious. "Shizu-chan, if you break my car, you'll regret it." The flea was calm, sitting there, looking through him with that damn gaze. The light changed to green, he groaned as the car moved. "Let me out. Let me out now." Great he sounded like a child.

"Shizu-chan, stay still, I'll take you home. The blond shook his head. "You took my home, flea. Take me to Kasuka." He crossed his arms, leaning against his seat. "Ne, lets get you in bed first." He slapped the flea's hand away, as he tried to do up the seatbelt. "Ha, I knew it was one of your games, stupid flea." He blinked, feeling like crying. "Like anyone cares." He lowered his head. He felt a sharp jerk, as the car swerved, pulling into a closed road.

He didn't flinch as he felt a hand rest on his cheek, nor when Izaya got closer, unbuckling his seatbelt. "Such a silly protozoan." He blinked feeling warm lips on his own. He felt his heart speed up, pushing the other away. "Stop that." Now he knew it was definite, his moods were a mess. He moved to open the door. "Where are you going? Shizu-chan."

The blond blushed, turning away. "The shops." He could feel Izaya watching his every move. "If you're sick I can-" He cut him off, glaring. "It's fine." This time he did flinch, when Mr god complex grabbed his hand. "Shizu-chan. I'll go. Tell me what you need." Shizuo sighed, snatching his hand back. "Sweets, chocolate and..." He could feel his face heat up. "And?"

Damn nosey flea. "And...pads." Silence filled the car, until he finally looked up, meeting Izaya's gaze. "Why would you need- oh." It was humiliating, letting the flea know. "Shut it, flea." For some reason he was earlier than usual. He was out of time. "I didn't say anything, Shizu-chan." Shizuo sighed. He didn't have to. _Shizu-chan is Shizu-chan. _The damage had already been done.

Next:- Dear diary part 2


	30. Dear diary part 2

**Dear diary part 2**

_A/N:- Thank you for the reviews, follows and favourites. Here's the next chapter. As usual let me know what you think and enjoy._

He didn't know whether to be surprised, disappointed or angry. The look of surprise had quickly faded, replaced by his usual poker face. Mr god complex arranged everything, going to the shops, driving him back to the apartment, leading him to the lift. This wasn't what he expected. He had been looking forward to seeing the flea lose his composure, seeing those eyes filled with surprise and confusion.

Instead he was faced with calm acceptance and desire to help. And he had gone along with him. He was the one left confused, surprised and... he didn't know what the other feeling was. Every step of his life had caused problems, no one had accepted him or if they did only one part. And here was the flea who had accepted everything, every knew thing Mr god complex had learned about him, he had nodded and treated him the same, as if it didn't make a difference.

He waited until Izaya unlocked the door, the flea leading him to the bedroom. "I can take care of myself." He grit his teeth when he was ignored. "Get in bed, Shizu-chan." He found himself pushed onto the mattress, while the flea left the room. Still Izaya knew his problem, he had the next week off.

Mr god complex came back into the room, holding a hot water bottle. "This should make you feel better." Shizuo blinked, taking it from his hands. "Uh, thanks." He was laying down on the bed, placing the hot water bottle on his stomach. "You can go now." This was a little more than embarrassing on his part. "If you need anything -"

"I'll call the office. Go flea. Oh and get some more chocolate on your way back." He didn't wait for the other to turn away, he closed his eyes, resting where he lay. His eyes flicked open as he felt a soft pressure on his forehead. "What are you doing?" He shrank away, seeing the flea's expression. "I'll be back at lunch, Shizu-chan." And then he was gone. Shizuo's fingers touched his forehead, where Izaya had kissed him.

Shizuo climbed out of bed, opening the doors to his wardrobe. He took out a shirt that was way too big for him and his more comfy boxers. Then he dug right at the bottom of the wardrobe and took out his diary. Kasuka had never steered him wrong, so if he thought writing his feelings down, was the best option, then that was what he would do.

Throwing the diary on the bed, he reached into the bag Izaya had left. The flea had brought him everything he needed. Taking out the packet of pads, he headed for the bathroom. He still wanted to know why he was earlier than usual, how it was possible. But he had no doctor to go to for advice, at least not Shinra.

He walked into the bedroom, wearing the over grown shirt. Shizuo smiled as he emptied the contents of the bag onto the bed. There were numerous chocolate bars, all his favourites. He climbed back into the bed, pulling the covers over himself, ripping open the wrapper of the first one. This was the only time he ever ate any chocolate. This way he didn't feel like he was pigging out, he was just catching up on a months worth.

He savoured the first bite, reaching for his diary and flicking through to where he had last left off. At the moment he was still himself, he was Shizuo Heiwajima, but after today everything would become a mess, he wouldn't know who he was, who he should be. He wouldn't be able hide anything from Izaya. He took another bite of the chocolate and let out a sigh, as took the lid off his pen.

_Dear diary, Its been just under a month, since I last wrote in here. A lot of things have happened. Firstly I'm only one person at the moment. Shizuka is gone for the time being, I don't know when or if she will be back. For now there is only me, Shizuo Heiwajima, a male._

_Things got a little complicated when Kadota had feelings, but its smoothed out now and since Shizuka is no longer here, he has no way of contacting her. I have no intention of revealing myself to him. I'll miss Shiki, Vorona and Anri, but this is how things have worked out._

_I'm not sure if me and Kasuka have got further apart or not. At first I only relied on him, now that has changed and he's not here, I don't know what he's thinking. He agreed to have our apartment sold and me move in with the flea. Though everything he does is for my sake and I have forgiven him. I miss the two of us living together._

_I went to see my parents for the first time in a long while. They were the same as always. My mother was overbearing and dictated a future, I didn't want. While my father ignored my existence completely. Then again, I was Shizuka at the time. He has tried to contact me since, but I've ignored his call. I don't want to see them for a long time. Neither one has accepted me, the best thing they can do is leave me alone._

_I told my best friend Celty, what I am. She knows the basics, I'm glad I told her, there is no one else I'd rather trust. I still haven't told Shinra. Although he's a friend, he is slightly abnormal and might try and dissect me. But one day I'll tell him, as long as Celty is there as a precaution._

_And that leaves Izaya. I haven't written about him yet, because that's how this all started. Everything I wrote in here the first time was read by him, after he rudely broke into our apartment. He did come straight out and say that he knew, the flea came to return the diary, saying that he wanted to help. I hadn't believed him at first, but now..._

_I have several things I could call him, but I stick to flea or Mr god complex. Since then he hasn't left my side. All he's managed to do is throw my life into chaos. He tricked me into becoming his personal assistant, then conned me into getting a lift with him. On top of that he had lunch with us, confusing my work mates and getting them on his side._

_But he never treated me any differently, no matter what he has learned about me, its always been the same. Where was I? Ah, then he met my mother and got invited to a family dinner, I wasn't even going to attend. That's where things really went wrong. My parents acted like usual and Shizuka flipped. I'm not sure what happened after she left the house. Izaya was there, looking like he actually cared._

_Then he took over. Kasuka was shooting for a film, so he couldn't stop it. My brother had agreed to it. Izaya had everything from our apartment taken and moved the most important things to his own, where I'm now forced to live. At first it was a nightmare, now its more tolerable. The two of us could actually live together. _

_Its confusing, how Mr god complex acts. One minute he's acting like a smart ass, the next he's gentle and caring. I mean he's the only one who has touched me that intimately in, well forever. No one has ever wanted to be that close to me. And there's Izaya who won't go away, always watching me, staying by my side. _

_Its embarrassing, how many things he knows about me. How many things he has done to me. He's kissed me, multiple times now. Every time, I want to give in and let him carry on. It feels nice. The flea saw me naked and drenched in soaking wet clothes, gave me my first – He touched a place not even I've touched myself._

_Its irritating how well he knows me now, how he can handle my moods. I think he likes it when I ignore him, that way he can do...things to me. He knows when I'm sad or angry. Izaya has managed to get past all of my barriers, crawling underneath my skin. He knew when I needed comforting and wasn't afraid to touch me._

_But I don't know what his game is. He asked me to trust him, when all he's done is get rid of Shizuka and forced me to rebuild my life. I can't read what's in those crimson eyes of his. I just know he's there, always watching me. Its annoying and irritating and pisses me off so much, why do I love someone like him any-_

Shizuo stopped writing, the grip on his pen, nearly snapping it in two. He was looking at the page, his brain catching up to what he had written. He blinked and then blinked again, crossing out the last line. He was useless with picking up other people's feelings, why should his own be any different?

He took another bit of chocolate, quickly chewing, taking another bite, once he was done, he glanced back down at the page. Of all the feelings he felt for Izaya, love had never been on the list. It hadn't crossed his mind. What right did he have to love someone? A monster like him. This was probably a game, Izaya would come back laughing, telling him to get out.

Love. Izaya. The two didn't go well together, but he was completely honest when he was writing, which only meant one thing. He was in love with the flea. He was in love with Izaya Orihara. He blinked again, screwing up the wrapper and throwing it across the room. He felt like crying.

He watched the ink smudge as the page became damp, Shizuo wiped his cheek, it wasn't good when he started crying, he could never stop, this was bad. He picked the hot water bottle up, placing it on his stomach, while he stared up blankly at the ceiling, tears rolling down his cheeks. He was just putting his life back together, he didn't need to know it yet.

He didn't know who he was, let alone start a relationship, especially with Izaya of all people. But it was there. The flea had been different from anyone he'd met. Everywhere he looked, there he was. And the way he touched him, made him want to be aroused. _Shizu-chan is Shizu-chan._ He trusted Izaya. He loved him, he wanted to stay with him. It was unfair, so unfair. He wasn't ready for love.

Shizuo groaned opening his eyes, he must have fallen asleep. He yawned, pulling himself up. He heard the sound of a door open and then footsteps. "Shizu-chan, I'm back." The blond blinked seeing the flea enter the room, another bag in his hand. "How are you feeling?" He shrugged, meeting Izaya's gaze. "Fine, why are you back?"

"It's midday, I said I'd be back. I brought you some take away, you need to eat." Shizuo scowled. "I've already eaten." He grimaced at the sigh coming from his boss. "Chocolate isn't food, Shizu-chan." He took the box, without a word, placing it on the bed beside him. "I picked you up some more chocolate."

The blond nodded, feeling tears prick his eyes. Oh no, he was going to cry again. He looked away, not wanting to see the flea's face. He could feel his tears, making warm tracks down his cheeks. He didn't know why he was crying, he just couldn't stop. "Shizu-chan? What's wrong?" He shook his head, trying to explain nothing was wrong, his emotions were a mess and out of control, it shouldn't have become like this until tomorrow, no scratch that, he shouldn't have been in this situation until next week, everything was early.

Shizuo felt his cheek cupped and lifted to meet, the flea's concerned gaze. "Shizu-chan. Why are you crying?" He shook his head again, he hated feeling like this and it would only get worse, until it was over. He hated the way Izaya made him feel, the way he got through everything. The way his thumb caressed his cheek, wiping his tears away.

"Shizu-chan, don't cry." He didn't know why Mr god complex cared about whether he was crying or not. He felt the other get too close, like he always did, a single movement, away from their lips, he could feel his breath against them and then they were connected, only this time Shizuo joined in, he could feel the faint surprise in Izaya.

Then it was gone, the flea back in control, prodding his lips, with his tongue. He opened his mouth letting him in, wanting to get as close as possible, he wrapped his tongue around Izaya's wanting to go further. It was the flea who broke away, staring straight through him. "Shizu-chan, are you going to tell me what's wrong?"

Shizuo shook his head. "Its nothing to worry about. Go back to work, flea." He lay back down, putting the hot water bottle back in place. "Well then, since Shizu-chan refuses to tell me, I'll have to read this." At the last second, he realised too late what Izaya meant. He sat up reaching for his diary, that was already in the flea's hands.

Next:- Losing control


	31. Losing control

**Losing control**

_A/N:- Thank you for the reviews and onto the next chapter. As usual let me know what you think. Enjoy._

No, no, no, no. "Izaya give it back." He moved to sit up, to snatch his diary from Mr god complex's hands. At the moment the pain kicked in, making him grumble returning to where he was laying down. He knew Izaya had read his diary before, but he wasn't there to see it. Now he was looking at his boss flicking to the newly written page, that crimson gaze skimming the page, probably taking in the tear stained paper and smudged ink.

He couldn't do anything but watch the small changes to the flea's expression as he read each word. Of course he would read it. What was he thinking, this wasn't his apartment, it belonged to his boss, anything here belonged to Mr god complex. He looked away, hearing the pages rustle as the diary was closed.

He closed his eyes, as an awkward silence filled the room, stretching out making him feel very uncomfortable. There was a dip in the bed, underneath him, he was sure Izaya had just sat down. Why wasn't he saying anything? Where was the laughter or the flat out rejection? He opened his eyes, so they were half lidded, seeing Izaya next to him. He let out a sigh. "You aren't saying anything."

"No, I'm not." And that was it. Shizuo opened his eyes fully, cursing as he moved, trying to sit up. "Why not?" He felt his face heat up. "You aren't ready to listen, Shizu-chan." He grit his teeth, what did that mean? He wasn't ready to listen? "What are you talking about flea? If you have something to say, say it."

He blinked, seeing Izaya hovering over him. How did he move so fast? He flinched as he felt those fingers resting on his cheek. "You're too close." He shrank back seeing the look on Izaya's face. It was dangerous. That look was dangerous. "You already know, you're in love with me." Shizuo blinked, a pain shooting through his chest. "Izaya, get away from me."

"Stay away, it's dangerous." He wasn't in control. But he couldn't do anything as the flea straddled him, forcing him to look and pay attention. "Shizu-chan is Shizu-chan." Those words again, the same damn words, the undoing of everything, messing with his head and heart. His vision became blurry, he blinked, realising that he was crying again.

"This is pathetic." He pushed Izaya off of him, being careful to watch his strength. He brushed his hand across his eyes, shaking his head. He reached for one of the chocolate bars, taking a bite. "Shizu-chan, is this to do with your period?" The blond blushed. "Don't say it like that. I'm not a damn girl." He sat down on the edge of the bed. "But, yeah. You read my diary, you know I'm going to lose control. If it gets any worse, I'll stay in a hotel or something."

"That won't work, I'm not letting you go. You've never been on your own in this state have you?" Shizuo shook his head. "Kasuka is always there." He didn't move as Izaya sat next to him. "Ugh, I really don't get you." He didn't get an answer, Mr god complex seemed happy enough for him to keep on talking like an idiot. "Fine, Don't blame me if I accidentally kill you."

"I don't think you have it in you, to hurt me." Shizuo turned, looking at the flea, trying to see if there was anything to say he was joking. Again, he found himself pushed back on the bed, so he was laying down. "Push me away, Shizu-chan." The blond shuddered, seeing how close to the edge of the bed they were. "No, you would hit the floor or the wall."

He shivered as that crimson gaze was fixed on him. "See, you can't hurt me." Damn it was he right. "Is this what you wear, when you're like this?" Shizuo opened his mouth to answer, dropping his guard and feeling soft and warm lips on his. The flea was playing with fire, but he was kissing him, it didn't count as a rejection. He kept his eyes opening, sticking his tongue out, to keep the intrusion away.

Shizuo glared at him as the flea, forced his way in, curling his tongue around his. He reached out, gripping Izaya's suit, ready to push him away, while moving against the other, forcing him out. The blond froze, blinking and finally taking in his surroundings. He was on the bed, the flea straddling him, arms either side of his head, tongue down his throat.

Now that he thought about it, he was kissing him back, wasn't he? Every time he brushed the flea's tongue away with his own, he was making it worse. He let out a groan, as Izaya moved, his knee between his legs, far too close and oh, that felt good. He could feel both his face and body heat up, no doubt his boss could see it too.

His fingers loosed, his arms moving around the flea's neck. He gasped, breaking away, feeling the pressure against this clothed erection. "Damn. Move your kne-ah." Why was he so sensitive? "Lay back and enjoy it, Shizu-chan." He didn't move, as each button of the large shirt was undone. "Izaya, stop." His eyes closed, he wanted more, but he couldn't. He couldn't handle a relationship, he didn't know how the flea felt about him.

He knew he was crying, knew he was a mess. "Calm down, Shizu-chan." He bit his lip, shaking his head. The blond gasped as he felt the flea continue, moving down his chest, that sinful tongue flicking out, against his nipple, teeth following as the flea bit down, sucking at the sensitive nub. Damn that felt good. "Ahn." His back arched, the other moving lower, making a wet trail, down his slim belly.

Shizuo threw his head back, another moan escaping him, the flea moving back up his body, skilful fingers tweaking his nipples. "Ah!" His skin was burning, Izaya's lips hot on his skin, moving up to his chest, just over his heart, before he felt a sharp pain. He opened his eyes, not sure when he closed them, seeing teeth scrape along his skin, he watched the faint trace of blood pool on his skin.

"Ahn. What?" His arms found themselves wrapped around Izaya's neck, one trying to pull him closer, while the other was stiff, trying to keep him back. Still the flea managed to play with his body, the wet muscle lapping at the blood, slowly moving up. "Nn." Each movement Mr god complex, made, only caused friction to his groin, his growing erection, straining against his boxers.

The part screaming at him to push the other away, was being over taken by the lust and the knowledge that he didn't want Izaya to stop, he wanted the flea to continue, to keep making him feel the way he was right now, the pleasure racking his body. "Shizu-chan, do you trust me?" The blond froze, his eyes staring up into Izaya's. "I'm trying, flea." He couldn't look away, the flea was looking straight through him, demanding his honest answer.

Shizuo swallowed, his mouth dry, his tongue feeling swollen, he couldn't form the words, such a simple answer and it weighed on his heart like a lead weight. The flea was attacking his neck, nipping and sucking, making more marks, that he knew wouldn't fade for a while. Marks of possession, he didn't understand what Izaya was up to. Finally his tongue came unstuck, from the roof of his mouth, allowing him to speak.

"Y-yeah." He wasn't sure how he sounded to the flea, but in his own ears, his voice sounded foreign, like a small child, hesitant and unsure. Crimson eyes twinkled and then Izaya smiled, a soft smile he had never seen before, appeared on his face. It made him blush, a warm feeling in his chest. If he was right, the flea was happy he trusted him. It left him speechless, gazing up into those eyes, he couldn't see any ill intent. "W-why are you smiling?" And then it was gone, Izaya was back to his usual poker face. Shizuo smiled, realising he had seen something, he wasn't meant to.

"Come on." He watched as Izaya climbed off of him, leaving him panting for more and unknowing how to deal with it. He pulled himself up slowly, looking blankly at the hand, offered to him. He could see the expression flicker across the other's eyes, probably reading the chaos in his own. Every step he was taking, was leading him further from what he knew, further away from his comfort zone.

Reaching out, he slowly placed his trembling hand in Izaya's, the flea's fingers closing around his own, forming a near unbreakable grip, pulling him from the bed. Shizuo used his free hand to hold his shirt together, briefly noticing the blood on his chest had smudged and dried. His stomach cramped, the pain never leaving, the feeling hidden by pleasure.

He let the flea tug him from the room, leading him into the bathroom. "What are you up to?" He was ignored, the door closing behind him, the lock being slid across. "Sit down, Shizu-chan." Shizuo turned, seeing a chair, where Izaya gestured for him to sit. He moved reluctantly sitting down. "Now what?" He didn't see what this had to do with him being painfully hard.

The chair moved, he felt panic rush through him, as Izaya wheeled it in front of the large mirror, where he could see his entire reflection, as well as the flea standing behind him, an odd light in his eyes. He turned his head, focusing on the wall. His erection wilted as dread ran through him, knowing now, exactly where this was going.

He could feel fingers playing with his hair, before slowly moving down his cheeks, gently but forcefully moving his head, so he was back to looking in the mirror. He closed his eyes, refusing to look, refusing to see who or what he was at the moment. "Shizu-chan, open your eyes." But he didn't want to. He couldn't.

His body started to relax, as he felt Izaya's fingers move gently in a circle motion, coaxing him to open his eyes and gaze back at his worst nightmare, his worst fear. A moan slipped from his lips, as he felt a hot breath brush against his skin, before he felt the familiar warm pressure, against his throat, licking and sucking.

Shizuo shivered his eyelids flickering, his body tensing as he found himself looking into his own eyes, seeing the cauldron of emotions he had tried to keep locked in. The loneliness that he felt, even though he had his workmates, his brother and his friends. The sadness that was closer to the surface than anything else, threatening to well up, leaving tear tracks down his cheeks again.

Fear of himself, that no one would accept him, he would end up alone, that he might accidentally hurt someone he cared about, that he was a monster without any control. He scrunched his eyes closed, unwilling to see any more. His fists clenched, but the chair was too far from the mirror for him to smash, shatter into a thousand pieces.

"Come on, Shizu-chan." Those fingers moved, close to the corner of his eyes, pressing and rubbing gently along his eyelids. "You're doing well." He could feel the heat from Izaya's body, against his own, hearing the low voice against his ear, making him shiver at every word. "Once more." Shizuo opened his eyes, listening to the comforting words. His lips were set in a thin line, he looked lost. That was the best way to describe it. He was lost.

He hated the image that looked back at him, he turned away, knowing he couldn't handle it. But there was Mr god complex, forcing him to stay where he was, one hand rested on his wrist, trying to keep him pinned to the chair. "L-let go." He looked back into the mirror, seeing tears run down his cheeks, knowing he was going to lose it.

"Try again, Shizu-chan." The blond flexed his wrist, easily breaking from Mr god complex's grip. "Get lost." He could see Izaya's reflection, concern flicked in those eyes, along with something else. "Shizu-" Shizuo shook his head, moving from the chair, both his and the flea's reflection cracked and shattered as he headed for the door.

He was panicking, the room feeling like it was closing around him, suffocating him, the damn pain in his abdomen didn't help, making him hunch over. His fingers lost patience at fiddling with the simple lock, opting for ripping the door from its hinges instead. He moved, wanting to get out, finding fingers gripping his arm in an attempt to pull him back. "Shizu-chan."

He moved his wrist, sending Izaya flying forward, watching the flea regain his balance with ease. "Go away. Go away. I need to get out. Kasuka. Where is Kasuka?" He stormed into the bedroom, pulling open the door to his wardrobe. Clothes he needed clothes. He could still see his eyes staring back at him, in his mind. Pain, loneliness, anger. Nothing but a broken, lost pitiful monster.

He rummaged through his clothes, finding something to wear. He froze as he felt warm arms wrap around his waist. "Shizu-chan, calm down." He didn't deserve this, didn't deserve any of it. "Shizu-chan." The blond shook his head, pushing Izaya away, he could feel the flea try and strengthen his grip, locking around him. "Let go. Let go letgoletgoletgoletgo." He struggled, his anger rising, finally managing to get Izaya away from him.

And the flea remained calm, walking towards him. Don't. Don't. He wasn't in control. He felt fingers gently rest on his hand and that was it. His vision blurred, everything mixing, losing control, losing the last of himself, who he was, what he was. His hands moved picking up the first thing he could hold onto. His wardrobe, he lifted with each throwing it into the wall.

He blinked, trying to get rid of the blurriness covering his vision, feeling wet as tears welled up, his face twisted in a mask of rage and anger. He didn't want this. He could see crimson eyes in front of him, easily broken grips, his name sounding muffled in his ears and then nothing. Everything collided, he hissed moving back as he glimpsed a flash of silver.

He lashed out, smashing everything in the room. A room that wasn't his, in an apartment that didn't belong to him and had no right to destroy. Another pain rippled through him, making him drop the small table, his hand grabbing his stomach. A hand rested on his shoulder, which he quickly swiped away, going back to throwing things and then everything slowed.

The bed sailed towards the door, clipping Izaya's shoulder, forcing him back. Shizuo blinked, seeing the surprise in those crimson eyes, that seemed to gleam, the only thing he could see properly at the moment. He moved forward, trying to shake himself back to normal, reaching the stairs as the flea fell backwards, knife outstretched, falling backwards, hitting his head against the wall, landing at the bottom. "Izaya!" Shizuo cried out as he heard the sickening thud.

Next:- Hospital


	32. Hospital

**Hospital**

_A/N:- Thanks for the reviews and on with the next part. Enjoy._

"..." He opened his mouth, no words leaving him. He tried again, his voice choking. "...I..." He couldn't move his arms, each step was stiff and jerky. What had he done. After what seemed like forever, he took the last step, his legs collapsing underneath him. He blinked seeing the carpet becoming damp, in small circles. Ah, he really was a monster.

"..." Shizuo crawled over to where Izaya had landed and was now laying unmoving, his eyes closed. "..." His fingers twitched as he opened his hand, laying trembling fingers against the still form. "..." He didn't bend his fingers, in case he caused more damage. Almost impossibly light, he shook his boss. "...I...I...z..." Ah he was crying, his chest aching, the feeling of his heart being ripped out of his chest. He had done it. He had hurt the only one who had tried to help him.

"...Iz...a...ya." Every syllable was painful, everything hurt. It hurt. "...Iz...a...ya." Wake up. Why wasn't he waking up? His fingers moved, threading underneath the others head. "No." His hands were damp. No. Shizuo pulled his fingers away, his eyes widening as he could see the red liquid, covering his fingers. .no. Nononononononono.

He was a monster – No. He didn't have time to hate himself. He jerked his fingers back, gasping in shock as a bloodied hand print was left on the carpet. He pushed himself up, staggering against the wall. He jerked forward, stumbling to the door, his gaze never leaving the man he had grown to love. His fingers fumbled with the door handle.

Help, he needed to get help. Shinra. Shinra would help. "...He-lp. Help. Help!" Why was he calling for help? He needed his phone. But still his voice was raising, getting higher and louder. Stupid. So stupid. The door across the hall opened, a then another one. A high pitched scream, echoed through his ears.

Blankly he realized he was standing in the doorway of an apartment that didn't belong to him. In his boxers and an open shirt, covered in blood, where his hands had touched. "H-help, my... boss." The woman tilted her head, pulled her phone from her jacket, holding it to ear. Shizuo gave a broken smile, leaving the door open as he fell to his knees, beside Izaya, he reached out, holding onto his hand. "W-wake up."

Time slowed for him, but everything was too fast, speeding around him, a blur of lights and colours. Muffled voices as he moved on automatic. The sharp gasp as the woman with the phone found why he needed help. The men in uniform, that weren't Shinra, asking him questions, that he couldn't answer. When they lifted Izaya up, wheeling him out of the apartment, Shizuo blindly following.

Everyone was watching now, doors opening everywhere. They let him climb into the back of the ambulance, hands placed over his head as the loud siren screamed through the streets. Not once did Izaya move and then the vehicle came to a halt, the doors being thrown open. Izaya was taken away from him, leaving him to find his own way.

He looked up, seeing where he was. He had to find him, make sure he was okay. Shizuo made his way through the glass doors, knowing that everyone was looking at him. "Excuse me. Can I help you?" He glanced up, seeing the young woman who had spoken. "My...friend, was just brought in. Can I use your phone?" The woman nodded, handing him the receiver.

His fingers froze, his mind was blank. He didn't know the number. Think. "Do you need to see a doctor?" The blond shook his head, trying to calm himself down. Slowly it came to him, until he had finished dialling all the digits. _Shinra speaking. _Shizuo cleared his throat feeling it becoming clogged. "Shinra. It's me, Shizuo. Come. Come to the hospital. Iz-Izaya got hurt." He hung up before there was a reply, handing the phone back. He moved over to one of the empty chairs, sitting down and waiting.

He jumped every time the doors opened, hours passing, his heart pounding, his mind flashing back to seeing Izaya unconscious. He flinched as a hand rested on his shoulder. "Shizuo. What happened?" He looked up, seeing a concerned Shinra and Celty. He shook his head. He watched as Shinra walked up to the receptionist. He looked up at the comforting hand, resting on his shoulder. "Thanks Celty."

She sat down next to him, hand on his. He was tired. So tired, such a monster and it hurt. But he needed to see him, check that he was okay. "Shizuo, come on." Celty held his hand as he followed Shinra. He was surprised the illegal doctor hadn't bombarded him with questions. His legs moved, until they stopped outside an open door. A plaque on the door read _Izaya Orihara. _His feet froze at the threshold, unable to go any further.

Shinra had already gone inside before him, a clipboard from the end of the bed in his hand. "Shizuo, he's fine. His chart says, there's nothing broken. Slight head trauma, but nothing serious. Once he wakes up, he should be fine." Still he didn't move. "Shizuo get in here." A sharp tug knocked him off balance, pulling him into the room. With a groan, he straightened himself, keeping away from the bed in the room.

He couldn't help it, his gaze focused on the pale figure lying asleep in the bed. Raven strands stuck out from the white bandages wrapped around his head. A bitter smile, broke on his face. Seeing Izaya like this, in a hospital gown. He would hate it, if he saw where he was. The small room was white, light green curtains hanging over the window, a small bedside table, a tv and some sort of monitor, that beeped occasionally.

Shizuo avoided looking at the chair that sat along side the bed, his legs twitching, holding back the urge to move forward and watch over the flea. "Shizuo, what happened?" Ah, here it was. Shinra's questioning. How much did he know? "I got angry, I made him fall down the stairs." His friend nodded, knowing how short tempered he could be. "So why are you nearly naked?"

The blond blushed, not answering. The illegal doctor's eyes widened. "Wait are you two? Wow. Uh, congratulations?" Shizuo shook his head, looking helplessly at Celty. His best friend smiled, nudging Shinra, hard in the ribs. "Ow, Celty my beloved." Shizuo couldn't see the screen, as Celty typed, showing the message to Shinra. "Ok ok. Now that we know Izaya is okay, we'll get you some clothes. Stay here."

Celty led him to the chair he had avoided, sitting him down. He opened his mouth to protest, her expression shutting up. His mouth closed shut as he gave a small nod. He watched as they left the room, closing the door behind them. Shizuo let out a long sigh, sitting slumped, his gaze on the curtain, swaying slightly, as the breeze blew in through the open window.

Now that he knew Izaya was safe and would wake up fine, he was calming down, the long wait had helped drain him. His gaze finally shifted, as he tried to look away, yet he couldn't stop it, his eyes landing on the unconscious figure. "Hurry up and wake up, flea." He was glad, he could speak in sentences again.

His fingers twitched against the arm of the chair, wanting to touch him, just to feel the warm skin, to prove he was really okay. He hadn't noticed the sound before, but now it filled the silence in the room, the constant steady beeping and the slow ticking of a clock, that hung on the wall, just above the television on the wall. He counted each second, then minutes, until he had the urge to rip the damn thing from the wall.

He hated it, the silence, not hearing the flea being his annoying self. He missed it. Ah this falling in love stuff, was a horrible feeling. He wasn't ready for it, but if it had been a normal person, he would have lost them. Izaya would have managed to lessen the damage somehow.

Shizuo groaned, it had been one hour, fifteen minutes and ten seconds, nope make that eleven seconds. But if he put the clock out of its misery, he would be acting like a monster again. Instead he turned his gaze away from the irritating mechanism, focusing on the figure in bed. "I'm not sure what's more annoying you or these damn things." No answer no smart ass comment.

He closed his eyes, releasing a sigh. Where were Shinra and Celty? He couldn't sleep, everytime his eyes closed, his past would haunt him, everything he had done, both as himself and Shizuka, flashing through his mind, like an unending kaleidoscope. So he did the only thing he could think off, to get rid of the boredom and the noises that filled the room. He talked.

It was probably the most he had spoken to or about Izaya, in a way he was glad to get everything off his chest, even better that the flea couldn't hear his words. "Sorry. I'm sorry Izaya." He lowered his head, disappointed that that crimson gaze wasn't fixed on him. "Hurry and wake up. Shinra read your medical chart, he says you're fine."

"Everything was my fault. I should have stopped you, I should have been in more control. I messed up." He ran his fingers through his hair. "I've let a lot of people down. I really am a monster." He shook his head, finding the words flowing easier. "I'll probably never say this to you, when you're awake. You scare me." There he had said it.

"I kept everyone at a distance, to protect them and...myself. But you, Mr god complex got closer than anyone has. I don't have any secrets from you. You know about my parents, Kasuka and what I am. No matter what I tried, you just got closer. Ruined both of my lives, keeping me by your side. Heh, even reading my diary." He looked up, gazing at the other's peaceful features.

"You didn't wait for me to tell you, you read everything, so this doesn't really matter to you does it? At first I thought you were playing a game, one I guess I've lost. I wanted to leave, once I saw you were okay, but I can't. It's reached the point where I can't walk away. You win, flea." Shizuo shifted in the seat, drawing his knees up on the chair, his arms wrapping around him.

He sat huddled in the chair, his head resting on his knees. "I love you. That's the first time I've said it aloud. You've gotten under my skin, you damn flea, making me feel all this crap. I wasn't ready for this. I can't fall in love and yet here I am, still at your side, checking if you're okay. Damn."

Shizuo told him everything that he was feeling, the words forming, slipping from his throat. He told him about his child hood, the pain, what he had seen when Izaya had forced him to look at his reflection. He left nothing out, everything from his heart was sent out into the room, his words falling on deaf ears. But that was okay, he didn't need anyone to hear them.

He jumped guiltily at the sound of the door opening. Shinra and Celty were finally back. He let go of his knees, trying to sit normally and not like a lost child. He turned to smile at his friends, blinking in confusion. He froze as an unfamiliar man walked into the room. Not a nurse, maybe a visitor for Izaya?

He looked quite old, wearing a brown hat, a cream coloured jacket that went to his knees, over his shirt and a thin black tie. He was slightly scruffy, with stubble. In his hand he held a small device. Shizuo sat up. "Are you here to visit Izaya?" The man shook his head, closing the door. "Shuji Niekawa, I'm a reporter for Tokyo incidents." Shizuo blinked, this couldn't be good.

He stood close up, moving towards the unconscious flea. "I have a few questions for you." He shook his head, practically sitting on the bed, blocking Izaya from view. "Please leave." The man took a step closer. "I'm here to do a report, on Izaya Orihara, the CEO of The Great Orihara Industries. Can you explain how he ended up in hospital?"

Shizuo shook his head. "I spoke to everyone at the apartment. He was found at the bottom of the stairs, it was quite a mess." The damn reporter was getting closer. "Shizuo Heiwajima, you're his P.A correct?" He was still holding that damn device, holding onto the recording button. "Judging by the damage, there was a fight, did you push him?"

The reporter was in his personal space, the recorder shoved in his face. "I know all about you, you've recently been staying with him. What's your relationship?" Shizuo blinked, what did he say? If he knocked the guy out, he would be causing trouble for the flea. "By the way you're dressed, you look like his lover. Can you confirm that for the article?"

He kept his mouth closed, fingers clenched by his side. He froze as he heard an irritated sigh, the reporter winced, hissing in pain, but he hadn't touched him. He dropped his gaze to the source of pain, slim fingers were wrapped around the annoyance's wrist. He followed the hand, to the arm behind him. The man in front of him hissed again, trying to pull his wrist free.

Shizuo pushed himself from the bed, slowly turning around. The flea's eyes were closed, but by the tight grip on the reporter's wrist and the pained expression, told him he was awake. He blinked and then blinked again, realization hitting him like a truck. "Damn you, flea!"

Next:- Enough is enough


	33. Enough is enough

**Enough is enough**

_A/N:- Yay! I get my laptop back tomorrow. Thank you for the reviews and onto the next chapter. As usual let me know what you think and enjoy._

Damn flea, he pressed his fingers against his forehead, gritting his teeth. He was awake, of course he was awake. The question was for how long, he had the sinking feeling he had been conscious the entire time. Shizuo covered his face with his hand, feeling his face heat up. He remembered every word he had said, everything he had explained to the unconscious flea.

He didn't want to look as the reporter cried out in pain. Nor as he heard rustling behind him, he flinched as he felt familiar fingers resting splayed on his back, feeling the heat through the material of his shirt. "Good morning, Shizu-chan." The blond bit his lip. "Its not morning, flea." His heart rate quickened as he heard Izaya pull himself up, hand resting on his shoulder. He noticed how the flea was still gripping onto the reporter.

"Excuse me, could you let go?" Shizuo turned around, so he could see both the flea and the reporter, crimson eyes narrowed, before a twisted grin appeared on his features. He shivered glad that look wasn't directed at him. He had yet to see Izaya's temper or if he even got angry. "Ah reporter-san, why are you here?"

"Orihara-san, I heard you were in an...accident. Do you have anything to say about it?" Shizuo tensed as Izaya let go of him, plucking the recorder from the man's hands and letting go of him. He blinked as the flea dropped the recorder on the floor, climbing out of the bed and repeatedly stamping on the device as he let out a manic laugh.

Shizuo froze as Mr god complex paused, foot hovering over the device. "This is a lot easier with shoes. Shizu-chan, break this for me." The blond caught it between his fingers, as it was thrown up to him, his fingers clenching around the device, hearing the crunch as the it shattered. He handed them back to the reporter, who took them blinking as he looked at the tiny pieces.

"Well, that's everything, goodbye reporter-san. Give my regards to your high school daughter." Shizuo could see the man's eyes widen. "How do you know that?" The blond turned back to the chair, he had been sitting in, this conversation had nothing to do with him. An arm looped around his waist keeping him by the flea's side.

"I know everything, it would be in your best interest if you leave me and Shizu-chan alone." Shizuo shuddered at the cold look in that gaze, the reporter backed away, closing the door behind him, leaving the two of them alone. He tried to move only to be pushed onto the bed. Shizuo sighed in relief, glad that look had vanished, Izaya was back to his usual annoying self.

He glared up at him, feeling his face flush. "How long were you awake?" The flea didn't look the slightest bit guilty. Shizuo sighed. "How much did you hear?" He blinked when Izaya didn't answer him, covering his body with his own. "It's good you've calmed down, Shizu-chan."

"...Yeah. I'm glad you aren't hurt." He closed his eyes, awkwardness and embarrassment flooding through him. He looked away as he heard Izaya laugh. "You couldn't hurt me. Sorry about this." He had forgotten, the long cut along his chest. He knew the flea must have done it trying to stop him. "It's going to scar." He jolted feeling Izaya's wet tongue, lap at the dry blood, running the muscle into the wound.

His fingers clenched, holding onto the sheets. "Oi, We're in a hospital." The flea nodded, pausing at what he was doing. "I know." Shizuo sighed. "I'm practically in my underwear." His gaze fixed on the white bandages, standing out from the dark hair. "You're hurt." He received a shrug in reply. "Its nothing serious." Shizuo wasn't going to attempt to push him off, after last time... it would be better to put up with the annoyance. "You're wearing a hospital gown."

He smiled as Izaya stopped, looking down at himself and letting out a sigh. "Shinra's going to get us some clothes." The blond clenched his fist. "You've been awake since then? You damn f-" He was cut off, Izaya straddling his waist, licking at his lips, before his tongue was darting in, wrapping around his own, his eyes closed, feeling fingers entwine in his own, moving them around the flea's neck.

His eyes snapped open, moving to pull his arms away, he didn't want to harm him. "Shizu-chan, it's fine." The look in Izaya's eyes told him, he wasn't going to let him run any more. He inhaled, breathing deep, leaving his arms where they were. He caught the smug grin as the other's tongue dove back in, licking along his lower lips.

He felt a sharp tap on his knee, running his fingers through Izaya's hair, he moved his legs apart, so the flea had more room to move. His tongue danced with the intrusion, Izaya taking the lead, his body was quickly heating up, he let out a sharp gasp as he felt pressure against his boxers. The flea had moved from his waist, as he shuffled further onto the bed.

"Enough." He couldn't go any further. This was his limit. That crimson gaze locked with his own, making him feel helpless as it looked through him, seeing everything. "Okay, Shizu-chan." He wasn't sure if he sighed in relief or disappointment. He smiled at the look of disgust crossing the flea's face as he took a second look at what he was wearing.

"Come on" He sat up moving out of the way as Izaya lifted the gown over his head, showing him a full view. He turned his gaze away, before the other caught him staring. He climbed off of the bed, the flea pulling back the covers, patting the space next to him. "Get in Shizu-chan." He couldn't think of a reason to object, so he climbed in, letting the sheets cover him. He didn't move as an arm wrapped around his waist, pulling him close. Before he knew it, his eyelids were drooping, listening to Izaya's heartbeat as they closed.

"..." Shizuo kept his eyes closed as he woke up, staying perfectly still. Somehow his legs were entangled with Izayas,instead of laying by his side, he was laying on top of him, head resting on his chest, he could feel his groin against the fleas. A single movement would rub them together. "It's fine, Kasuka-kun knows."

He made sure not to move, they were talking about him. "Izaya, he could have seriously hurt you. Are you sure you two should be living together?" Ah, that was Shinra's voice. "He didn't mean to, Shinra. He's under a lot of stress at the moment." He tried not to flinch as fingers played with his hair. "You two are both my friends, but there's things about Shizuo you don't know."

He felt the rumble underneath him as the flea let out a bitter laugh. "I know a lot more than you do, Shinra. Shizu-chan is staying with me." He could hear a sigh, knowing it wasn't the flea. "Is this one of your games?" Shizuo bit his lip, trying to calm down. He couldn't stop the build up in his eyes, or when the tears ran down his face, dripping onto the flea's chest. If he hadn't known he was awake, he did now. "It has nothing to do with you Shinra. Celty, can you take the idiot home?"

He heard Shinra sigh again. "I get it, just don't be an asshole to him." The flea's fingers stiffened against his skull. "Come on my beloved, Celty. Lets go home." He could hear foot steps and then the opening and closing of the door. "I know you're awake, Shizu-chan." He ignored him, keeping his eyes closed. "Don't ignore me." He kept his eyes closed, but he hadn't expected to fall asleep again.

The next time he woke up, he was still in the bed, his head against the pillow. He opened his eyes, sitting up and looked around the room. The flea was at the end of the bed, putting his shoes on. "Did they let you out?" He climbed out of bed, picking up his clothes from the chair. "I'm not staying in here a minute longer."

Shizuo shook his head, taking off what was left of his shirt. He paused feeling someone staring at him. "Quit staring, flea." He turned around to glare at him, reaching for the clean shirt. Shinra and Celty must have gone to Izaya's apartment for them. He quickly dressed, seeing the flea still staring at him. He buttoned up the last button, slipping his shoes on.

"How long are you going to stare at me?" The flea shrugged. "Lets go, Shizu-chan." The blond sighed, following Mr god complex out of the room. He shook his arms, feeling uncomfortable, unbuttoning the cuffs and rolling them up. He had been fine in the room, now he could feel strangers staring at him. He wondered if it was his slightly bigger shirt or the tight jeans that hugged his ass.

He quickened his steps, walking slightly ahead of the Izaya. He counted each one until he was out past the doors, breathing in fresh air. "There's a cab waiting for us." Shizuo nodded, following the flea to the waiting cab, just outside of the hospital. He climbed in, putting his seat belt on. His boss joined him, closing the door.

Shizuo closed his eyes, leaning against the window, he didn't want to see anything. Especially the small mirror at the front of the car, where he had a perfect reflection of Izaya's bandaged head. His fingers trembled as they got closer to the apartment. He froze as the cab stopped, letting them out. His body moved on auto pilot, unclicking the seat belt and climbing out. He stood in front of the apartment, looking up. He couldn't see Izaya's window from here.

He flinched as he felt a hand on his shoulder, relaxing slightly when he saw it belonged to Izaya. "Maybe Shinra was right." He felt the grip tighten as he muttered the words. "Unpredictable as usual. You've already gotten this far." Yeah, he knew that, but only because Izaya was forcing him along. If it hadn't been for the flea he would still be living the same double life.

Every step he took, made him think about the flea's neighbours, the one that had screamed and the one who had helped. He hesitated, before walking into the lift, wondering if he should bother Kasuka with this. His younger brother knew everything else. He stared at the buttons, watching as the screen changed showing the floors.

There was silence in the lift, neither one of them saying anything. It dragged on, making him uncomfortable, wondering why the flea wasn't saying anything. "I heard everything." He froze, knowing what he had thought was true. "I guessed. When did you wake up?" He kept his gaze focused on the flea. He had no secrets from him any more, yet the flea was still here, still by his side.

"Who can sleep through, Shinra talking. You think his flirting is bad enough when you're there. Its worse when there's no one around." Shizuo sighed at the crooked grin. It was his own fault, spilling all of his feelings around the damn flea. He should have known he would try something. "You should have said something, instead of making other people worry."

"Aw, you were worried? Shizu-chan." He opened his mouth to protest, denying that he was worried, he shook his head, knowing what Izaya wanted. "Like you said, you heard everything." Mr god complex laughed. "Ah, you're almost there." He found himself against the rail of the lift, Izaya's body hot against his. He gasped at the fingers stroking his cheek. "What is going to take for you to trust in me? Shizu-chan."

He couldn't answer, all of this was new to him, he was moving forward blind. "What will it take for you to stop fighting?" He just wanted everything to stop, he wanted a normal life like everyone else. He waited for Izaya to say something else, but he had lapsed into silence. Before Shizuo could ask what he was thinking, the silence was broken by the flea's laughter. "Ah. I know." The lift stopped, doors opening. "Shizu-chan, I want to show you something."

Next:- Mutual feelings


	34. Mutual feelings

**Mutual feelings**

_A/N:- Thanks for the reviews and onto the next chapter. Anything in italics is from Precious monster part one and two. Enjoy._

He should have known, nothing was easy. Part of him was happy Izaya was still trying to get him to open up. The flea wasn't disgusted with him and there was no sign of him being scared. He had hurt him and it had been brushed off.

Still he couldn't stop the growing panic as he was led from the lift. The doors were closed, but he still remembered the piercing scream, the panic. His fingers tightened around the flea's, until he let go realizing he could hurt him. He let out a shocked gasp, as his hand was caught, fingers entwining in his. "Don't run, Shizu-chan."

They made it to the door, the flea pushing it open, with ease. Shizuo's breath hitched as he struggled to pass the threshold. He could see it on the carpet, a bright crimson stain, drenching the fibres. He blinked, seeing the motionless figure laying there. He shook his head, trying to shake the image. Shizuo stumbled as he was tugged forwards, the door closing behind him.

Mr god complex was saying something, but he couldn't hear, his gaze fixated on that stain. He flinched as an arm looped around his waist, the other hand covering his eyes, like a makeshift blindfold. "It's over. Leave it." Easy for him to say. He knew what was past the stairs, in the bedroom. The result of his temper and unstability. He didn't move as he heard a sigh. "It can wait until tomorrow. Go to sleep, Shizu-chan."

For once he didn't argue, he let himself be led to the sofa. Blinking the dampness from his eyes. His eyes widened as the flea ran his fingers through his hair. Just a bit, just to forget everything. His eyes closed, seeing the white bandage as the flea walked away.

He groaned, rolling over. Nightmares plagued him, the sofa was uncomfortable and his bladder demanded the bathroom. He briefly wondered where the blanket had come from, rubbing his eyes. He pulled himself up, navigating through the darkness. The light to the bedroom was on, but it wasn't where he wanted to go. He headed into the opposite room, closing the door to the bathroom.

As he left, his eyes snapped awake, his mind clear. Shizuo groaned moving into the bedroom. Izaya was cleaning the bedroom, trying to lift the bed. He shook his head, the flea should be resting, not cleaning up his mess. "How long was I asleep?" Mr god complex, grinned at him. "Its nearly midnight." The blond sighed, picking up the bed with ease. "Where do you want it?"

He could feel his face heat up, seeing that smile. "Here, Shizu-chan." He nodded, gently lowering it and grabbing the mattress. Once he was done, he took one side of the sheet, the flea taking the other, as they made the bed together, neither one saying anything. Once they were done, the covers were pulled back, Shizuo climbing into the bed. He didn't move as the light was turned off, or when an arm wrapped around his stomach, pulling him close.

The next morning, when he awoke the bed was empty. He sat up glancing around the room, the flea wasn't in the room. He sighed, climbing out of bed. Surely he wouldn't have gone to work. He made his way from the bedroom, realising he was only wearing his boxers.

"Good morning, Shizu-chan." The flea was sitting at his computer. "Uh, morning." He made his way to the kitchen, searching the cupboard for chocolate. "Did you?" He unwrapped the bar, taking a bite. "Hmm? Did I what? Shizu-chan." The blond shook his head. "Forget it." He made his way to the sofa. The flea must have undressed him.

As he ate, he could feel the flea looking at him. It wasn't until he finished, that he spoke. "I'll be working from here today, just in case." The blond nodded, getting up to throw the wrapper away. He sighed as he heard footsteps behind him, a hand splayed on his belly. "Shizu-chan, did you forget?"

He froze as he remembered the conversation yesterday. That's right, Mr god complex was going to show him something. "Don't you have work?" He turned around, brushing the hand away. "Already done, everything else can wait." He flinched at the voice hot against his ear. "Time to stop running, Shizu-chan." Slim fingers rested on his shoulder, slowly spiralling down his arm, until their fingers were touching.

He gulped as the flea led him to the computer, sitting in the spinning chair. "Sit down, Shizu-chan." On the flea? Not happening, but Mr god complex had more leverage sitting down, arms around his waist. He blinked, finding himself sitting safely in Izaya's lap, staring at the desktop screen, seeing another Valkyrie. "Oi! What is it this time? Flea."

He froze as Izaya reached for the mouse opening up a folder. "Shizu-chan. Why is there a file with my name?" The flea ignored him, opening the file, showing two documents. Both were dated with the time. "I read your diary." He shivered at the light nips to his shoulder. "It's only fair you read mine." His grip tightened on the chair, as he realized how close they were. "I'm only showing it to you though. Remember that, Shizu-chan."

He stared at both of them, so they were documents about him. He had a feeling he shouldn't read them, but the urge was strong. Izaya's feelings about him were written in them, he would know the flea's true intentions and if he had been right to trust him. Before he could turn away or reach for the mouse, Mr god complex made the decision for him. He found his eyes fixated to the first line. _Just when you think you know everything about your precious humans, they do something unpredictable._

He ignored the fact he was still on Izaya's lap, only wearing his boxers. His gaze took in each word, a mixture of emotions running through him. _One of my precious humans, stands out from the rest. _Ah, he could feel his face heat up. _The blond who always surpasses my expectations..._ Shizuo clenched his fingers, this was from when they first met, at the beginning of the month. _...It was me who wanted the blond... _Damn he knew it had begun as a game, but certain words, suggested more.

_...I could sense something else under the surface... _Shizuo tensed, even though he knew this was before everything, it still made him defensive. He tilted his neck, feeling the flea's lips make their way up his throat, distracting him from his trail of thought. "Carry on, Shizu-chan." He stifled the moan threatening to leave him. _...So I watched him,observing his actions, finding out everything about him... _He grit his teeth, finishing the paragraph, if he didn't know better, he would have said the flea was a stalker.

_...Sometimes I deliberately walk past him to see his reaction... _Damn flea, so he was messing with him. He grit his teeth, anger sparking and then there were the gentle touches along his side, his composure slipping as he tossed his head back, the flea leaving his mark, teeth biting into flesh. "Stop that, I'm trying to read." _...My gaze was always drawn to him... _Ah, that one was making him blush.

_...I learnt to read his moods... _That wasn't all he had done, he had managed to break everything. _...I timed my arrivals, according to his moods... _"Damn fle-ah!" Another nip and another mark. _...I sit at my desk observing him... _If that wasn't a stalker, he didn't know what was. He shivered as he realized exactly how long the flea had been watching him for. Since the beginning.

He wasn't sure what Izaya's goal was, in having him read this, but it was only telling him he was wrong to trust the flea. _...I knew as soon as she looked up it was Shizu-chan... _So he had known, all along. _...pass as a woman... _He resisted the urge to hit the flea, continuing to read. Each word made him angrier, proving it was all a game. The last sentence he read, made his blood run cold. _...A secret like this, I could've made him do anything I wanted... _

An inhuman growl left him, as a sharp stabbing pain hit him, making his chest ache. "Shizu-chan, carry on reading." He shook his head, it was enough. He moved to get up, away from the truth, away from the flea's advances. The arms around his waist tightened as he struggled. "So stubborn. Fine." He looked over his shoulder, seeing crimson eyes glitter. "...It changed as I carried on reading." He covered his ears, not wanting to listen.

"I rarely hated my precious humans, I couldn't stop the irrational hatred I felt for his parents." Shizuo blinked, his gaze turning back to the screen, the flea was quoting from. _...I now knew everything about Shizu-chan, but its still not enough. I want to see more, observation is no longer enough... _"I want to touch him and be by his side." He shivered as the words were spoken, against his ear, the flea lazily drawing patterns on his stomach. It sounded like a love confession, the flea wanted to stay with him.

He turned away, feeling the multitude of emotions flowing through him. The flea reached for the mouse, closing the document. Another click and he opened the second. Shizuo gulped, shaking slightly. He almost collapsed in relief as the silence was broken by the ringing that filled the air. He could see the slight twitch of annoyance in the flea's fingers around his waist. The grip loosened as the flea picked up the phone, sighing behind him.

He took his chance, quickly moving from the other's lap, heading for the kitchen. He grabbed another chocolate bar, making his escape to the bedroom. He had read enough. He knew if he carried on, it would be too late to back away. He didn't look back as he closed the door behind him. He settled under the covers, taking large bites, Izaya's words running through his mind as he tried thinking of anything to will his growing erection away.

He wasn't sure when he had fallen asleep, his cheeks damp. On the side table was a chocolate bar on top of stapled sheets of paper, the flea's handwriting at the top. _Shizu-chan, I'll be back soon. _And that was it, nothing saying where he had gone or who he was with. He picked up the chocolate bar, seeing the first words on the top piece of paper. _...Ah, the look on Shizu-chan's face when I showed up. _

The blond sighed, picking the sheets up. At least the flea wasn't here. Wasn't reading them to him or touching him. So it should be okay. It was probably the second document he was reading. He could see the date and time at the top. _… I wasn't letting him go that easily, it was too much fun... _At least Mr god complex was more honest in his writing.

He grit his teeth, blood turning to ice. _...Shizu-chan is Shizu-chan... I left him with words that would haunt his mind, digging themselves deeper and deeper into his heart. My precious humans, were so easily to manipulate. They listened to the words they wanted to hear, letting them seep through, like poison. Now to see if my monster is any different..._

He let his anger take over, vision red as he tore easily through the words, gasping sharp breaths watching blankly at the shredded white, falling to the floor, like snow. Ah! He shouldn't have done that. Shaking, he got out of bed, reaching down to pick the pieces up, trying to slot them together, nothing made sense, there were too many pieces. He had the chance to see what the flea was thinking and he had destroyed it.

With a heavy sigh, he trudged to the door, knowing he had to clean up the mess. He blinked as he opened it, seeing more pieces of paper by his feet. Shizuo crouched down picking it up, staring in shock at the note. _Don't rip this one up, Shizu-chan. _He blinked, making his way down the stairs, checking Izaya wasn't hiding somewhere. He let out a bitter laugh as he sat on the sofa. The flea had known what he would do. Just how well did Izaya know him?

Shizuo took a deep breath, curling his legs underneath him, as he read more about Mr god complex's feelings. _...I don't correct him, the more slip ups he makes the easier it will be... _Yeah, he knew know, nearly everything had been his fault, the way he acted, the way he fell for the flea's tricks. If he had ignored him and walked away. No he had a feeling it wouldn't have made a difference.

_...I play out the game in my head, thinking of my next move... First was words, the second is slight touches... _The damn flea had everything planned . _...I didn't let Shizu-chan out of my sight..._ Shizuo sighed, he didn't get it. Was the flea doing it for fun, obsession or maybe he was in love with him? _...I needed to be closer... Another puzzle piece slotted into place... _His fingers twitched, resisting the urge to make another mess. He grimaced as he saw the small black writing at the side. "Shizu-chan, keep reading." He jumped as the words were spoken, behind him.

He shifted over, giving the flea room to sit down. "When did you wake up?" Shizuo sighed. "About ten minutes ago. Where did you go?" The paper tore slightly as it was pulled from his tight grip. "Aw, were you worried about me?" The blond scowled, looking away. "I was with Shiki." Shizuo sighed, leaning back. The flea still had bandages around his head. "Which copy is this? The third or the fourth?"

Shizuo blinked, glancing down at the sheets, he gritted his teeth, so more of this was going to make him angry? "Second." He watched the flea nod, glancing over his shoulder. _...I got my first glimpse at Shizu-chan's mother. I rarely dislike humans, but this one, I can make an exception for... _He looked away, feeling his chest swell. _...I reluctantly drive away, after all its not in my plans and there are no early moves in this game... _

He grit his teeth, shaking his head. He didn't understand anything. _...Does my precious monster know how close I'm getting?... Does he realize how much of it is his own fault?... Its fun and interesting watching his reactions... I'm getting impatient... _Shizuo sighed, shaking his head, ignoring the look the other was giving him. _...Now here's my next move... breaks the tap...fixing the tap in the first place... _

"Son of a -" His fingers twitched, the sheets ripped in half. He stared in silence at the two halves, before letting out a sigh. "Third." He held out his hand, not surprised when Izaya handed him another copy. "How many did you print out?" He didn't get an answer. _...My fingers itch to touch him... _Damn was his body heating up again. ..._This could go quicker than I had planned... I could play nice, when it was needed... _No, there was the anger again.

_...I'm the one taking all his firsts, the one breaking his walls down. It's me that's corrupting my precious monster, bringing him closer into my arms...made my pants tighter...I drank it all in... _Shizuo placed a hand over his face, damn it was embarrassing. He peeked through his fingers, blushing at the next words. _...It wasn't gross, it was part of him, simple another hole for me to pleasure, with the ability to have children... _He ignored the last few words, he wasn't ready for a relationship, let alone children.

But the flea had accepted him. _...Already he had let me get closer than anyone else he knew... _And who's fault had that been? It was Izaya who had managed to crawl under his skin, wedging himself into his heart. Mr god complex was sitting beside him, their shoulders lightly touching. _...So I climbed out of my car to help...she wasn't helping..._His muscles tensed as he reached the part about his family, he couldn't deal with them, not now and maybe not in the future. _...Shizu-chan looked good in a bra and panties... _His face flushed, the small note written at the side didn't help. _Don't get embarrassed, Shizu-chan. _And there went another copy.

He accepted the new one without a word, taking a deep breath as he read through what had happened at the family dinner plus flea. _...I admit, this may be another situation where I was wrong... _Izaya admitting he was wrong? He turned his head, looking out of the window, just to double check everything was still standing. _...She almost had me fooled... _Nearly, but not good enough, or he wouldn't have fallen for the flea.

He flinched at the way Izaya described him as fragile and scared. He had known everything, there had never been anything hidden, Izaya had figured out everything. _...So many cracks, that I had missed before... _Which you made even wider, breaking everything. _...Her side was falling, I had both sides now... _His fists clenched, slightly surprised, there was no side note telling him to calm down.

_...I needed to get her out of there before something bad happened... _Ah, that bit he remembered, it was nothing to do with him, but it was, after all he and Shizuka were the same person. _...Another moment between us... didn't object to me continuing... _His face turned crimson at the last line, fingers twitching. _...A little more and little Shizu-chan would have been up... _He grit his teeth, focusing on where he was. As he read the very last line, he turned to the last page, seeing another note from the flea. _Well done, Shizu-chan. You didn't destroy the final copy._

With a slightly pissed off smile, he turned to Izaya, meeting his eyes, as he slowly ripped the last copy up, just to prove him wrong. He flinched at the grin the other gave him. "You didn't think that was it? Did you? Shizu-chan." He sighed as Izaya reached under the sofa, holding a laptop. "Its not up to date." Shizuo shook his head, watching the flea load everything up.

"I've read enough, flea." He yelped as he was pulled forward, once again sitting in Izaya's lap. "I need help with this one, Shizu-chan. As my Personal assistant, you can type." He turned around glaring at his boss. "I'm not your- Oi, watch where you're touching." He groaned at yet another mark, left on his shoulder. Slim fingers played along his arms, threading over the top of his hands.

His fingers were moved with ease, forced to press down on the keys. The flea had created another document. "I found Shizu-chan on a bench. Shizu-chan you aren't typing." The blond kept his hands still. "Enough." He laid his hands down on the keyboard. "Shizu-chan?" He shook his head. "Enough, Izaya. I don't get it, I don't understand, what the hell you're thinking. Is it still a game? Are you sexually frustrated? I don't fucking get it. I don't need to know what has happened. I was a mess. Why the hell are you doing this?"

He was shaking, with anger and confusion. The flea stared back at him calmly, the same crimson eyes staring straight through him. "If that's what you want." He flinched at the look he was given, he could see it in Izaya's eyes, the tightening of his mouth. He was holding back, trying to push him, without going too far.

It was too late now, he was the one that had made the decision. His fingers were forced to move, as the flea moved his. "Such a protozoan." He shuddered at the tone of voice, maybe he had gone too far. "It's been almost a month, since I got involved with Shizu-chan." Shizuo typed the words up, not saying anything. "A lot has happened, but I have him where I want him. Shizu-chan is Shizu-chan after all."

His fingers froze, gasping for breath, it was like something had slammed into him. "He's finally himself, trusting me and accepting himself." Shizuo shook his head. "Stop!" But the words kept flowing, finding themselves into his ear, unable to block them out. "Shizu-chan is unpredictable and naïve. He's in love with me, his new life revolves around the one who destroyed his old one."

Shizuo shook his head, fingers trembling. Ah, he wasn't ready for this. Damn his temper and his hormones. He moved to get up, arms locking around his waist, keeping him where he was. He was scared, so scared. He brought his hand covering, Izaya's mouth, keeping him quiet. He coughed, letting out a choked sob.

He flinched away, seeing that steady gaze. "Shizu-chan is mine. Don't look away." He gasped as his chin was caught, forcing their gazes to meet. "I don't let people I don't care about stay at my apartment. Remember you're the one who wanted to know." He could feel the tears silently rolling down his cheeks. "I love you, Shizu-chan. I have no intention of ever letting you go. It's time to stop running and accept it. Shizu-chan is Shizu-chan."

The laptop fell, hitting the floor, both he and the flea ignored it. He loved him. Izaya loved him. His body sagged, tears running faster, until he could taste the damp saltiness on his lips. His legs gave way underneath him, as he slumped against Izaya, resting his head on his chest. His body shook violently, as he wept like a child in front of the man he loved. "...H-ha-te y-ou." Arms encircled his trembling form, soft lips placing a kiss on his forehead. "I know, Shizu-chan."

Next:- A day away


	35. A day away

**A day away**

_A/N:- Thank you for the reviews. Yep this one will be ending soon. And onto the next chapter. _

Why was he doing this? His fingers clutched tightly to the flea's clothes, resting his head on the other's chest. It wasn't fair, none of this was? Shouldn't he be happy and smiling? Glad his feelings had been returned? So why was he confused? Tears spilling from his eyes. It hurt,it felt like something was crushing him and he had no way out.

He could feel Izaya's fingers in his hair, playing with the strands. He could feel the steady beat of his heart, through his chest. The flea loved him. He loved the flea. Wasn't it supposed to be simple now? But he couldn't stop his tears or the drowning feeling, his shaking calming a little, as he started to feel tired.

"You should have waited, Shizu-chan." Yeah, he should have, or maybe that was in Izaya's plan. After all he was completely defenceless now. Damn it, he closed his eyes, listing to the rhythm of Izaya's heart pounding in his ears. Just once more. This would be the last time he would be this weak. The last time he would show his tears., especially to Izaya.

But for now, he would stay where he was, letting the flea support him, fingers stroking his hair, while his other hand was on his back, keeping him where he was. Just this once. He let his mind drift, dropping any remaining guard, falling asleep where he was resting.

_He blinked, knowing he was dreaming. Ah, even his dreams were crying. He looked up, seeing the sky crack open, torrents of rain, falling and bouncing from the ground. He stepped through, still perfectly dry. Shivering as a gust of wind blasted past him. He kept going, hearing the clap of thunder. _

_But he could hear it, the small clacking sound. He followed it, stopping at the small pile of blocks. He picked a blue one off of the top, twirling it with his hand. He blinked, not surprised as a child took it from him. It was him again. "You aren't knocking them down this time?" His dream self looked up, smiling. "There's no point, there's a clean surface to build on." _

_Shizuo shook his head. Why were his dreams always so confusing? "Because I'm trying again?" The child stood next to him. "No, because you're reaching the starting point. This will be the life you create for yourself, all of your own choices." He took the offered building block, grimacing at the bright redness of it. "This is the last one." _

He groaned turning his head, as he slowly woke up. With a startled gasp, his eyes snapped open, remembering where he had fallen asleep. He was still on the sofa, laying down, his legs curled underneath him. He wrinkled his nose, as the fur from Izaya's jacket tickled him. When had he been moved? Shizuo sat up, seeing that he was alone.

His mouth watered, making his stomach grumble. He couldn't remember the last time he had eaten properly. Tossing Izaya's jacket aside, he stood up, following the smell of spices coming from the kitchen. Ah, so that's where the flea had got to. He leaned against the door, watching Izaya make dinner. He had wasted nearly the whole day sleeping or crying.

"Dinner will be ready soon." Mr god complex, turned around to face him. "You're eating today." He sighed, nodding his head. "Do you need any help?" Damn this was awkward, the flea was acting the same, while he couldn't even meet his eyes. "I'm nearly done, you can get the plates ready. I've never seen someone sleep so much." He let out a bitter laugh, searching for the plates. "And whose fault was that?"

He flinched as their gazes met. "Do you want me to answer that? Shizu-chan." He sighed shaking his head. "Not really." Shizuo pulled out two plates,setting them on the side. "You missed one." He blinked, looking at the two plates. "Is someone else coming?" The flea nodded, going back to stirring, while he pulled out another plate. His question was answered by the ring of the door bell. "Can you get that?"

The blond left the kitchen, heading to the door. Izaya had invited someone from work? Maybe it was important. In that case should he really be here. He looked down at himself, seeing he was only in his boxers. Damn. He looked around for anything to put on, grabbing Izaya's jacket. It was a little tight, but it made him look like he was wearing something.

The door bell rang for the third time as he pulled it open, his jaw dropping in shock. "Hi, nii-san." He blinked, stepping back to let his younger brother in. Izaya had invited Kasuka? Why would he do that? He closed the door behind him. "Hi Kasuka. Did you finish the movie?" His younger brother nodded, making himself at home on the sofa.

"We finished up this morning. Have you been okay?" Ah, where to start? "That's Orihara-san's jacket, isn't it?" He couldn't stop the blush spreading across his face. "Y-yeah, I'm only wearing my boxers..." His brother looked at him expressionless. "Are you and Orihara-san-" Shizuo cut him off, unzipping the coat. "No! Not like that. I started my period early." He quickly took his arms out of the sleeves, dropping it on the sofa. He didn't need Izaya to see him wearing it.

"But you aren't due until next week." Shizuo shrugged. "I know, it caught me off guard." He took his place next to Kasuka on the sofa. "It might be stress?" He nodded, that could be it, he had been angrier than usual, after everything it wasn't surprising. "Probably, I should get it under control." He never did pick up that prescription.

He couldn't help but smile and look away, as the flea came in holding two plates. He used his hand to cover his mouth hoping, Kasuka hadn't noticed. He hadn't spoken to him for a while and a lot had happened in that time. He could feel the tension in the air, as his brother and the flea looked at each other. "Orihara-san." Shizuo took one of the plates from him, setting it on the table. "Kasuka-kun."

He shook his head, looking between them. Why did he get the feeling they didn't like each other? Well he knew his brother didn't like the flea. And Mr god complex's files had something about him in there. "Thank you for the invite." Shizuo sighed, even he could tell, the words had been forced. "I made curry." Shizuo's gaze followed him as he went back to the kitchen. "Nii-san?"

The flea returned with his own plate and knives and forks for all of them. "Did you help? Nii-san." Shizuo shook his head. "I was asleep." He scooped up the first mouthful, ending the conversation. "I taught nii-san how to make curry." He coughed as the flea grinned. "Then you can cook next time, Shizu-chan." He could see his brother tense. "If there is a next time, Orihara-san." His fork slid from this grip, dropping onto the plate. What did that mean?

He picked up the fork, gripping the tiny area that wasn't covered in curry. Kasuka was sitting on one side, Izaya the other, while he was in the middle. "Nii-san, do you need a new fork?" Shizuo sighed, placing the plate on the table, moving past his brother. He turned the tap on, washing the silver, wondering if it was a good idea to leave the two alone.

At some point he needed to talk to Kasuka. He needed to talk to Izaya as well. What would happen from here? They both knew how the other felt. Drying his fork, he headed back to the tense atmosphere, hearing the last few words. "...do what you want, Kasuka-kun." Shizuo sat back down, silence filling the room. He ate quickly, wondering what was going on.

Once he was done, he set the plate aside, Kasuka and Izaya were already done. The flea picked up all three plates, taking them away. "Nii-san, I need some help, decorating." Shizuo smiled at him. "I'll help. But I might be a bit..." His brother nodded, knowing what he meant. "If we start now, we should be finished tomorrow."

Oh, so that's what it was about. "I'll go and get dressed." He stopped at the bottom of the stairs. Maybe he should tell Mr god complex first. He sucked in a deep breath, finding Izaya by the sink. "I'll be staying with Kasuka tonight and tomorrow." He wasn't sure what he was expecting. "See you, Shizu-chan." And that was it, no arguments, no touching, nothing. "See you, flea."

Kasuka was waiting patiently on the sofa. He made his way upstairs, finding his clothes set out on the bed. Was that it then? Izaya was letting him go? Ah, that pain was back, his chest stinging. He quickly dressed, making his way slowly down the stairs. "Ready? Nii-san." Slightly saddened, he nodded, Kasuka closing the door behind them.

He stayed where he was, not moving. "Come on, nii-san." With a nod, he made his way to the lift, each step putting a gap, between him and Izaya. Five steps, fifteen, thirty. A whole building. He shook his head, as he saw Kasuka move to open the door for him. "I can do it, Kasuka." He took one last look up at the highest window, wondering if Izaya was watching him. "Nii-san?"

"Yeah, I'm ready." He climbed into the car, putting his seatbelt on. He rested against the window, closing his eyes, so he couldn't see the reflection in the mirror. He wasn't following the roads, his brother took. He didn't get what was happening. Was this part of Izaya's games? He could feel his eyes swelling, he clenched his fist, shaking his head. He had made up his mind, no more tears, not for anyone or anything.

The car pulled up outside an apartment building he had never seen before. "This is where I live now." Shizuo nodded, climbing out of the car, hand slipping into his pocket as he walked. He stopped as his fingers brushed against something. He pulled it out, seeing a piece of paper, it was cut neatly, but he could tell it was from one of the copies he had ripped up. _Shizu-chan is Shizu-chan. _"Nii-san." Shizuo smiled. "Coming."

Kasuka's new apartment was slightly bigger than their old one. He closed the door behind him, looking at the pots of paint lining the floor. He noticed how empty the rooms looked, apart from the bed, with a few bundles of clothes on. "Everything else is in the removal van." Shizuo sighed, running his fingers through his hair. "Are you okay wearing clothes?" He looked down at himself, seeing that he was wearing a shirt and jeans.

"It's fine." Kasuka stopped, staring at him. "Kasuka, it's fine really. Its not bothering me." His brother was silent, before turning away. "I thought we could start here, it's the biggest room." Shizuo nodded, rolling his sleeves up. He opened the windows, while his brother opened the paint, grabbing one of the brushes. "I thought you would have got it done professionally." Kasuka started on his side. "I got the papering done, only the painting is left."

Shizuo worked quickly, covering the wall, in even strokes. Everything faded, he didn't think about Izaya, just concentrated on getting the job done. Time passed by surprisingly quickly, the sky turning dark. "Do you want a drink? Nii-san. The fridge has been set up." Shizuo switched the paint brush to his other hand. "Thanks Kasuka, I'll have a glass of milk."

Once his brother had gone, he stared out of the window, wondering where they were. How quickly would he be able to get back to the apartment? Already he missed the damn flea. Not that he would tell him. "Here, nii-san." He hadn't heard his brother come back in. He took the glass gratefully. "What time is it?" They had only done a quarter of the room each. "Its just gone seven."

Kasuka had to stop now and then to answer his phone, probably about work, he was a famous author after all. He worked like a machine, never stopping, when one arm got tired, he used the other and then the same again. He didn't stop or take a break, until Kasuka took the brush from him. "We've done enough for today." They had finished one room.

Reluctantly he let go of the brush. "One of the piles on the bed is yours. I got you some pads as well." Shizuo sighed, making his way to the bedroom, grabbing what he needed. "Bathroom is down the hall." He nodded, following his brother's directions, closing door behind him to the empty bathroom.

He groaned as he left the bathroom, in his boxers and a loose t-shirt, his hair damp. Something had to be wrong, he had stopped. He climbed into the bed the other side of the Kasuka. "Goodnight, nii-san." Shizuo nodded. "Good night, Kasuka." He rested on his back, staring at the ceiling. Good night, Izaya. It took him a long time to get to sleep, the soft snoring from his younger brother, didn't help.

His fingers clenched as he tossed and turned, trying to get to sleep. Nothing was working. In the end, he gave up, shrugging of the t-shirt as he slowly got out of bed, leaving the room. He knew what was wrong, it was because he had been relying on Izaya, he hadn't been allowed to leave his side. The damn flea was always there to push or support him and this was the result.

He switched the light on, seeing the paint tins. Kasuka had labelled each one. The near empty one said living room. He picked up the one for the bathroom, grabbing the paint brush. He hoped Izaya was having a better night. Opening the window, he took the lid off and started painting.

He smiled as he felt his eyes droop, finally feeling the tiredness settle in. It was good that he had finished another room. Dropping the paintbrush in the tin, he stumbled to the bedroom. He didn't make it, his legs giving out underneath him. It was fine, the floor was comfy enough.

He groaned as he was roughly shaken away. "Nii-san. Are you okay?" He sat up, finding himself in the middle of the hallway. "I fell asleep. I'm fine Kasuka." He took the hand offered, pulling him up. "You painted the bathroom." Shizuo sighed. "Yeah, I couldn't sleep. What room is next?" Kasuka stared at him expressionless. "I could get us some breakfast?" Shizuo shook his head. "I'm not hungry."

He heard the small sigh. "The kitchen or the bedroom." He smiled, grabbing the paint tin. Taking off the lid, he tackled the kitchen, brush in hand. The kitchen was about the same size as the bathroom, he could get it done no problem.

He didn't stop as he heard the front door close. "Nii-san, I'm back. I brought you a cake." He balanced the brush on the edge, going into the bedroom. Kasuka handed him a chocolate muffin and a milkshake. They sat together on the bed, eating what they had. "I saw the bandages around, Orihara-san's head."

"Yeah, I lost my temper. He ended up in hospital." He turned away, not wanting to see his brother's disappointed gaze. "He didn't do anything?" Shizuo shook his head. "No, he forgave me. Kasuka, a lot happened since we last spoke." His brother nodded. "I can tell. You've changed." Shizuo blinked. Had he? He wasn't sure what Kasuka meant. The last time they had seen each other was when he had been Shizuka. After that they had only spoken once on the phone. "Shizuka is gone. Its just me." As they ate he told Kasuka the basics of what had happened. He didn't mention his feelings for Izaya.

Once they finished, they finished painting the kitchen, moving onto the bedroom. By midday they were finished, sitting in the living room, eating their lunch, which Kasuka had brought for them. The only thing left to do was wait for the paint to dry, so they could start moving everything in. "Nii-san, can I ask you a favour?" Shizuo lowered his sandwich. That was a stupid question, he would do anything for his little brother. "Can you move in with me? It can be like before"

Next:- Decisions


	36. Decisions

**Decisions**

_A/N:- Thank you for all the reviews. So the next chapter will be the last one. There is smut in this one (Yep, about time). Enjoy._

Shizuo sighed, setting his sandwich to one side. "I'm sorry Kasuka." He lowered his head. Anything else he could have done, but staying away from the flea, wasn't one of them. He knew after this, he wouldn't be able to leave. "Its okay, nii-san. I already knew your answer."

"What do you mean?" Kasuka stared at him a small spark in those usually expressionless eyes. "You're in love with Orihara-san. Aren't you?" Ah, so he did know. "Yeah." He looked up at the hand on his shoulder. "It wasn't hard to see. You've changed, that look in your eyes is gone." Shizuo blinked. "I couldn't do anything. Orihara-san fixed everything."

"Kasuka-" His younger brother, shook his head. "Orihara-san won. He was the one that called me, he knew I was planning to take you away. He said I wouldn't be able to do anything." Shizuo rested his hand on top of Kasuka's. "I don't like it, nii-san. But you need him. The way you look at him, I've never seen you like that. And you're not crying. Usually around this time, you're in a bad way."

He knew that, Izaya had done a lot for him. "It's okay, nii-san. I won't always be here, you'd be left on your own. Its better this way, as long as you're happy." Damn it, just after he promised himself, he wouldn't cry. "Thanks Kasuka." He wrapped his arms around his younger brother, pulling him close. "I like this you better." Shizuo smiled. "I wouldn't have been able to get this stage, if it hadn't been for you. Its you who kept me from going too far."

He let go of him, finishing the rest of his sandwich. "Do you need me to do anything else?" Kasuka shook his head. "I can handle it, you can go back, nii-san." Shizuo sighed looking down at himself. He needed a bath, the clothes he was wearing were a mess and would have to be thrown. "You're a lot calmer this time." He nodded, pushing himself up, from the floor.

"Something is different. I came on early and stopped last night. Everything is different now." Kasuka stood next to him, their rubbish in his hands. "I think its stress, but you could go and see the doctor." Shizuo shook his head. "I don't think that's possible. The thought of dressing as a woman again, makes me feel sick." He had made his decision, Shizuka wouldn't be coming back.

He smiled as he waited for the bath to fill up. He was glad Kasuka had accepted his answer. It was true what he had said, his brother was the reason, he had got to this point. He dreaded what would have happened, if he had stayed in the house, living with his parents. Would he even be alive? It didn't matter now.

Turning off the taps, he lowered himself into the hot water, laying back and relaxing. He felt different, Izaya loved him, Kasuka accepted him. Sure he would still have problems with everyone else, but it didn't matter. The two people he loved the most were there for him and that was enough. He had spoken to Kasuka, leaving the flea to deal with. He blushed at what he was thinking of doing.

He met Kasuka in the living room, once he was out of the bath. "Ready to go? Nii-san." Shizuo blinked, seeing his brother walk towards him, car keys in hand. "You're driving me?" His brother stared at him blankly. "You don't know any of the streets." Shizuo smiled. Even though his brother, didn't like Izaya, he was still willing to send him back.

This time he was looking out of the window, trying to memorise how to get to his brother's apartment. "Nii-san. Have you two, done...that?" Shizuo blushed, looking away. "Not all the way, not yet." Silence filled the car. "Make sure to use protection." His mouth dropped open in shock, covering his face with one of his hands. How could his younger brother be so straight forward? They lapsed back into silence, Shizuo looking out of the window, as they got closer, to the apartment.

He took a deep breath, as the car stopped outside. "Good luck, nii-san." He watched Kasuka rummage in the glove box, pulling out a box. "Your prescription, it should fix things." He took the box, slipping it into his pocket. "Thank you, Kasuka. If you need help with moving let me know." Shizuo undid his seat belt, climbing out of the car.

"Nii-san, tell Orihara-san if he hurts you, he'll have me to deal with." Shizuo smiled, closing the door. "Thanks Kasuka." He watched as his brother drove away, giving him a small wave. He was lucky to have a brother like Kasuka. He waited until the car was out of site, before heading into the building.

He decided on the stairs, rather than the lift, taking them two at a time. By the time he reached the top, he was slightly drained and acting normal, instead of like an excited child. He didn't want to make the flea's ego any bigger. He walked straight up to the door and rang the bell. Ah, maybe he wasn't in.

The door opened, revealing black hair and crimson eyes. There were no bandages around his head though. "Welcome back, Shizu-chan." Mr god complex left the door open, letting him walk past. "That was quick." Shizuo shrugged. "It was quicker with the two of us." He waited until the door was closed, taking a deep breath, it didn't matter if he was following the flea's plan. "Izaya."

His heart pounded as he willingly pressed his lips against Izaya's. He pulled back, seeing the flea smiling at him. "Are you sure?" He knew what he was being asked, nodding his head with determination. He didn't flinch as Izaya's fingers threaded through his own, he smiled, closing the gap, as he was led up the stairs.

"Your bandages are gone." His fingers played with the stands of the flea's hair, as he was pushed gently onto the bed. "Shinra said it was okay to remove them. Last chance to back out." He shook his head, he had made it this far. "Good, it was too late anyway." For both of them. Shizuo pulled his shoes off, throwing them into the corner of the room, laying back on the bed.

His fingers fumbled on the buttons of his shirt, until the two sides fell apart, revealing his chest and new scar. He looked up, seeing the flea, pull his own top off, throwing it to the floor. He gulped as he saw the look in Izaya's eyes. Quick fingers worked at the button to his jeans, before they were slid over his legs, along with his boxers. Leaving himself open, to Izaya's gaze.

He trembled as slim fingers, brushed over the horizontal scar. "You're perfect, Shizu-chan." He couldn't look away from that gaze. "Shut up, flea." He moved up the bed, leaning against the pillows, the flea following after him. He closed his eyes, feeling Izaya's wet tongue against his chest, taking his time on the scar. "Ah!" He cried out, sharp teeth, grazing his right nipple, while the other was tweaked between slim fingers.

His fingers clenched uselessly onto the covers, letting Izaya assault his body. Hot lips moved over his chest, sucking and biting, leaving more marks, that wouldn't fade for a while. "Nn." He jolted as the flea wrapped his hand around his awakening cock, stroking him in steady rhythm, "Ahn, fuck." until he was sent over the edge, his release hitting him hard.

Shizuo blushed, laying back against the pillows, coming down from his high. "You still haven't touched yourself? Shizu-chan." He opened his eyes, glaring heatedly into crimson eyes. "Sh-shut up." He grimaced, seeing Izaya lick his fingers. "That's disgusting." He backed away at the grin he received.

He gasped as their lips connected, the flea's tongue diving in, swirling it around his own, mixing their saliva. He broke away for air, ignoring the bitter taste that filled his mouth. He watched anxiously as Izaya pulled out a small bottle, flicking off the cap.

Shizuo jolted as slicked fingers ran over his balls, past him entrance. "No, not there!" He sat up, holding onto the flea's arm. "Please." Mr god complex blinked. "Okay, not until you're ready." He nodded, slowly letting go of Izaya's arm, laying back on the bed. He shivered as the finger circled his other entrance, slowly pushing in.

He looked away, not wanting to meet Izaya's gaze, crimson eyes taking in all of his reactions. It felt uncomfortable, he groaned as he felt himself stretch slightly, another one sliding into him. "Shizu-chan?" He shook his head, shivering as the flea brushed against something inside him. "Nn...Izaya." Shizuo looked up, seeing the heated look in the flea's eyes.

He moved his legs, giving Izaya more room, to move. "You're doing well." He nodded, feeling fingers move around inside him, stretching him wider. He didn't rush him, he gave in, leaving everything up to Izaya. His attention turned to the flea's free hand, working on the his pants, letting them drop to the floor.

Shizuo felt empty as Izaya removed his fingers, getting rid of his boxers. He couldn't help but stare, unable to tear his gaze from the flea's body. "Ready? Shizu-chan." Not really, but it was enough. He blinked, seeing Izaya fist himself, covering his erection with lube. He clenched his fists, panicking as Izaya lined himself up, pressing against his entrance.

"Shizu-chan. Look at me." He did as he was told, the flea hovering over his body, he shivered, feeling a hand, resting against the side of his head. Izaya's lips on his, he gratefully joined in, kissing back, accepting the diversion as the flea moved forward, thrusting into him. His scream was taken from him, tongues entwining around each others.

He gasped for air, the flea backing away. Shizuo met his gaze, knowing what he wanted. "Move." He winced as Izaya pulled out slowly, pushing back into him. "Relax, Shizu-chan." Fuck it hurt, his insides burning. Every movement was different. "Ah! There." Mr god complex grinned, punishing the same spot each time, turning him into a whimpering mess.

His arms wrapped around Izaya's neck, holding on, his legs rested on his lover's shoulders. "Nn...fuck." His grip tightened, but there was no strength, his muscles turned to jelly. "Ah! Izaya." He could feel his stomach cramp, a weird feeling coiling in his abdomen. He jolted, feeling the flea's hand wrap around his sensitive, erection, pre-cum leaking from the tip.

His body shuddered, he was close, so close. "Iz-ah!" It was too much, pleasure racked his body, driving him over the edge, Izaya's thumb flicking over the tip, giving him the final push. "Nn." His orgasm hit him hard, covering the flea's hand and his stomach. He collapsed back against the pillows completely exhausted, his breathing harsh and vision blurry.

His eyes shot open, as the flea sped up, thrusting deeper into him, before he tensed. Shizuo jerked as he felt something fill him, covering the inner walls of his ass. He let out a tired groan, as Izaya pulled out of him. His arms untangled from the other's neck, dropping limply onto the bed. His legs were lowered, his eyes drooping, barely awake.

Shizuo glared tiredly at Izaya, feeling something leak from his ass. "I'll be back in a minute." His eyes closed, all energy gone. He flinched at the cold feeling on his skin, cracking his eyes open. The flea was back, with what looked like a wet cloth. His eyes closed again.

He groaned as the bed dipped underneath him, his eyes half opening, seeing Izaya laying next to him, still naked, playing with his hair. "You're mine now, Shizu-chan." He glared up at him, well he tried. "...Did everything go as you plan-" A yawn cut him off. Damn he was tired. "It worked out the same. I went easy on you." He blinked, trying to stay awake. Easy? He called that easy?

"...Kasuka?" He turned his head, giving Izaya more access, lips against his neck. "Kasuka-kun was the only one you trusted, you two are close." Shizuo sighed. "Damn flea." He didn't resist, when Izaya's arms wrapped around him, pulling him close, placing lazy kisses along his collar bone. "Get ready Shizu-chan, I'm not holding back any more." He shivered at the warning. "Can I go to sleep now?" He heard Izaya laugh as his eyes closed, finally succumbing to sleep.

Last:- Shizu-chan is Shizu-chan


	37. Shizu-chan is Shizu-chan

**Shizu-chan is Shizu-chan **

_A/N:- Thank you for the reviews. This is the last chapter. Enjoy._

Shizuo blinked, opening his eyes, staring at the chest, he was currently laying on. He closed his eyes, trying to calm his pounding heart. Ah, that was right. He and Izaya had slept with each other. After all the teasing and touching, he had finally let the flea, go all the way.

He could feel his face heat up, remembering every moment, everywhere Izaya had touched him. He was okay now. He had given Mr god complex everything. He didn't feel lost any more. He tried not to jump, when he felt soft lips pressed against his forehead. "I know you're awake, Shizu-chan." He didn't answer, not quite sure how to react yet.

"Don't ignore me, Shizu-chan." Shizuo kept his eyes closed, pretending to be asleep. He bit his lip as he felt nimble hands roam his body. "Ah!" A moan slipped from his mouth, the damn flea, playing with his lower half. "Stop that." He reached down, grabbing Izaya's wrist, before he could cause any other reactions.

"Are you sure you want me to. Little Shizu-chan is awake too." He glared at him, moving to get away. "What time is it?" He lifted his head, trying to see the clock. He found himself pulled closer, his whole body on top of Izaya. "Its half five." He struggled to get away, cautiously watching those hands.

He gasped in shock, the flea crashing his lips down on his, forceful and demanding. His heart stopping, from the lustful look he received, stirring his awakening erection to life. Shizuo pushed himself away, coming up for air. "Oi, fle-ah!" He moaned as he sat up, legs falling either side of his lover, noticing the grin and the quick fingers on the inside of his thighs. "I just woke up."

"I warned you, Shizu-chan." He shivered at the slick coated fingers, ran along the crack of his ass, wondering when Izaya had grabbed the lube. He closed his eyes, feeling his already sensitive hole twitch around the slim intrusions, scissoring inside him. Fuck, he was still sore, the damn flea. But his body was already ready, wanting more.

"Nn." Without warning, something larger than fingers pushed into him, making him cry out. "Fuck. Go slow-ah." Damn, the flea already knew his weak spots, thrusting directly into his prostate. He send a heated glare, receiving a mischievous grin, before he was flipped backwards, the flea pumping out of him. Shizuo wrapped his arms around the flea's neck, shifting his hips in time with Izaya's movements.

It was long until he was close, the flea bringing him to completion. He laid back against the covers, coming down from his high, his fluids covering his stomach. He felt Izaya tense. "Oi, don't you-" He moaned as the flea thrust into him for the last time, releasing inside him. He waited until Izaya pulled out, before he attempted to get off of the bed, his legs shaking as he struggled to stand.

"Where are you going? Shizu-chan." Shizuo shook his head, trying to ignore the pain in his lower back. He grimaced, feeling something leak from his entrance. "I'm going to take a shower." He flushed at the gleam in Izaya's eyes. "Alone. Aren't you making dinner?" The flea shook his head. "You can make it today." He should have guessed. "Fine." He limped from the room, heading for the shower.

Of course, he was stuck making curry, the one dish Kasuka, had mentioned he could make. Not that he minded, it was just a little distracting, the flea leaning in the door frame, watching his every move. "For someone so strong, you're very careful." He paused, knife in hand. "What's that supposed to mean?" He heard a laugh behind him. "Its a compliment, Shizu-chan. Something else you need to accept."

"Yeah, I know." He jumped as he felt arms circle his waist. "Are you admitting I'm right?" Shizuo shook his head. "I'm holding a knife." He lowered the sharp steel, placing it safely on the counter, Izaya's lips against his neck. "You wouldn't hurt me, Shizu-chan." He turned around, opening his mouth, it snapped closed, as he saw the belief in those crimson eyes.

Instead he rested his head on his lover's shoulder. "Shizu-chan?" He shook his head, trying to get rid of the childish smile, that had split across his face. "Shut up. Just stay like this." His eyes closed as he felt Izaya's fingers on the back of his neck. "I would, but the curry is over flowing." Damn. But he couldn't stop the grin as they broke apart, tackling the mess on the cooker together.

It was late when Shizuo climbed into bed, laying back and staring at the ceiling. He didn't move, when Izaya flicked the lights on, changing out of his clothes. "Shizu-chan. Still awake?" Shizuo sighed. "Yeah." There was a lot running through his head. For once it wasn't anything bad. He was thinking about the future. He shuffled closer to the flea, once he had gotten into bed.

"What are you worrying about?" He smiled, despite being slightly annoyed at how well, Izaya could read him. "I'm thinking." He heard a sigh next to him. "Anything good?" Shizuo turned his head, seeing the concern in that gaze. He was starting to understand him more. "I was thinking of going to Artic tomorrow." He noticed the way the other tensed.

"Not as Shizuka. She's gone for good." He went back to looking at the ceiling. "I need to see Shiki. I never explained or handed in my official resignation. Its not fair to him, he was a good boss." He smiled at the pout Izaya was giving him. Did he even realize he was doing it? "If I want to start again, I have to tie up any loose ends."

"Do you want me to come with you?" Shizuo laughed, a happy sounding noise. "You would anyway." He blinked, feeling Izaya's hand softly resting on his cheek. "This Shizu-chan is better." He sighed, moving into the comfort of his lover's arms. Yeah, he agreed, everything was so clear now. "Shizu-chan is Shizu-chan, right?" He didn't wait for an answer, he knew Izaya was smiling into his shoulder. "I'm going to get you back for that tap incident." Ah, that one got a laugh.

"If you can. Goodnight, Shizu-chan." He waited until Izaya was sleeping, before placing a soft kiss against his lips. "Good night, Izaya." He closed his eyes, falling into a dreamless sleep, his arms around Izaya, the flea's around his waist, foreheads resting against each other.

Shizuo woke up, completely refreshed, escaping from Izaya's embrace. After he had showered, he made his way down the stairs, switching on Izaya's computer. He blinked, as he wasn't asked for a password, allowing him straight into the desktop. The flea must have known what he was going to do. With a sigh, he opened a new document, typing out his resignation for one of his bosses.

He was halfway through, when he heard footsteps coming down the stairs, Izaya coming into view. "Good morning, Shizu-chan." He blinked seeing the flea get closer, standing behind him and reading over his shoulder. "Not bad. Do you want any breakfast?" Shizuo shrugged, knowing the flea would make him something, even if he refused. "Toast will be fine."

He was feeling slightly nervous, as he watched the letter print, holding it in his hands. This was the last thing he had to do and then Shizuka was out of his life and behind him. "Izaya, do you have any envelopes?" The flea poked his head out of the kitchen. "In the draw." Shizuo grabbed one that would fit, carefully folding the piece of paper and sealing it inside. On the front, he wrote Shiki's name.

It rested on Izaya's desk, the flea handing him a plate. "When do you want to go?" Shizuo finished his mouthful, before answering. "Straight after this. I'll tell everyone at work too." He carried on eating, when Izaya didn't reply. "I don't think it will be safe to tell Shinra." Just Celty knowing was enough. "Yeah, that would be a mistake."

Shizuo opened the door climbing in, the letter safely in his grasp. Once his seat belt was on, he rested back against the seat, closing his eyes. "Shizu-chan?" He shook his head. "Its fine. Lets get going." He was glad Izaya was there with him. He wasn't sure if he had the strength yet, to do it himself. The entire time, his gaze was on the letter, wondering how Shiki would react.

He didn't have to wait long. "We're here, Shizu-chan." He was broken out of his thoughts, finding himself staring at the club's sign. He climbed out of one side, waiting for the flea. He wasn't sure whether Shiki was in or not, but he had to try. Taking a deep breath, he pushed the door open, stepping inside.

A quick gaze of the bar and he could tell, Shiki wasn't there. Instead he headed straight for his former boss's office, knocking on the door, Izaya by his side. "Come in." Damn, he was in. He pushed open the door, Izaya's hand on his arm in support. "Ah, Shizuo Heiwajima. Its been a long time."

Shizuo nodded, feeling the coldness around Shiki. "Please sit down. You too Orihara-san." Shizuo stared warily at the two guards behind Shiki, feeling trapped. "What can I do for both of you?" He blinked, seeing Izaya grin. Maybe his lover was slightly crazy. "Not me, Shiki-san."

"I wanted to apologise for the way Shizuka acted and to hand in this." He held out the resignation letter, which Shiki took. "I see, its a shame, you were a good worker." Shizuo smiled. "Its just me now, Shizuka won't be back." He watched as Shiki opened his letter, skimming through the words. It was set down on the table, Shiki leaning forward.

"I wish you luck in the future. I can see you and Orihara-san have gotten closer. If you have enough of him, you can always come back." He watched from the corner of his eye, the expression that flickered across Izaya's features. "That won't be necessary, Shiki-san. I have no intention of letting Shizu-chan leave my side."

"I see, so its not just Heiwajima that has changed. I wish you luck informant." Shizuo stood, feeling the conversation had ended. " He bowed slightly before standing back up. "Thank you, Shiki-san, for everything." He paused at the small smile he received, before both of them were escorted from the room. "What next? Shizu-chan."

Shizuo shook his head. "Shouldn't you go back to work?" He knew Izaya was probably behind on his paperwork, but then again it was Mr god complex he was talking about. "Every thing is up to date, there's no need to." He sighed, climbing into the car. "Shizu-chan, do you want to see your parents?"

Almost immediately he shook his head. "No, nothing would change. My mother would hate me." Shizuo leaned back against the seat, strapping on his seatbelt. "You've done enough, Izaya. I can handle things from here." He was ignored completely. "Where do you want to go?" He glared at the flea, before turning away, face red. "I was going to shop for new work clothes." Crimson eyes blinked. "You're going to tell them?" Not yet or maybe he was, at the moment he wasn't too sure. "For now, I'll buy clothes that actually fit me."

He groaned as they drove past the shopping store. "Oi, flea. You missed it." He gulped at the mischievous smile he received. "Don't worry, Shizu-chan. They'll arrive for Monday." Which meant, the flea had already known what he was thinking and planned ahead. "Anything else you've already thought of?"

He followed Izaya's gaze, opening the glove box. Shizuo stared and then blinked. "You shouldn't-" He was cut off, with a knowing look. "I'm an informant too, remember." Slowly he took out everything that was inside. The first was a new silver phone, already programmed, with every number from his old phone, if he knew the flea. The second was a file, containing all of Shizuka's documents. Everything Kasuka had gotten created for him. "What am I supposed to do with these?"

He didn't get an answer, then again he didn't expect one. It was something he would have to figure out for himself. Setting the documents to one side, he flipped open the phone, surprised when there was actually a normal background. He scrolled through the contacts, immediately changing Izaya's to something more appropriate.

Ah, he already had a message. _Shizuo, can we meet up? It will have to be at the apartment. _He smiled at his friend's message, knowing Shinra was being more overly lovey dovey than usual. "Can you drive to Celty?" At the next road, the car turned direction, heading for where his best friend lived.

Shizuo sighed as he got out, closing the door behind him, hearing the same sound on the other side. "You don't have to come." The flea shrugged, walking beside him. When he knocked on the door, two things happened. The first was Celty in tears, a huge smile on her face, throwing her arms around him. And an angry Shinra demanding he get away from his 'beloved.'

"Celty, my beloved. You have to be careful. No strenuous activity." Shizuo glanced between them, slightly confused. He followed his friend inside, being dragged to the sofa. Shinra grabbed the flea's arm, pulling him out of the room. "What happened?" He watched as Celty typed quickly, shoving the screen in front of him. _I'm pregnant. _

He felt his stomach drop, Shizuo didn't have anything against children, it was just his mother had gone on about it for so long, the idea repulsed him. _Shizuo? _He shook his head, smiling. "Congratulations." His friend beamed, typing another message. _How is everything now? _He leaned back against the sofa, telling her what had happened since the hospital. _So you and Izaya?" _

"Yeah. Me and the flea." Celty smiled, hugging him again. He froze at the next message. _Will you have children in the future?" _That wasn't something he wanted to think about. Sure Izaya may want to have kids, but right now, he couldn't deal with it, let alone think about it.

"Shizu-chan?" He blinked, snapping out of his thoughts, Izaya crouched in front of him. "What happened?" Shizuo shook his head. They had a long time yet, he had only just accepted the relationship. Anything else could wait. "Nothing." He had to concentrate on the present. "Congratulations, Celty-san."

"Wait, don't crowd her, my beloved needs space." Shizuo shook his head, seeing his friend blush and punch Shinra in the ribs. "Congratulations, Shinra." The illegal doctor, rubbed a hand through his hair, grinning like an idiot. "But it doesn't mean you can get close to my Celty."

He was silent on the way back, leaning against the window, eyes closed. He was glad Izaya wasn't saying anything. "Shizu-chan. The weekend starts tomorrow." The blond opened his eyes. "So?" He didn't like the smirk on his lover's face. "Neither one of us, has to do anything, silly protozoan." He shook his head, still not getting it.

Mr god complex, parked the car, wrapping an arm around his neck. "It means, I get to spend all that time with you." Ah, he knew that look, it was the same one, Izaya had when he was playing with his body. He could feel his entire body flush, gulping at what he knew would happen.

Still at least the flea waited until they were inside the apartment, behind closed doors. He found himself up against the door, Izaya's lips on his, fingers curled in his hair. "All mine, Shizu-chan." His lower half agreed, happy at Izaya's touch, his breathing barely catching up. He was pulled forward, across the room.

"Oi, flea. The bed is upstairs." He bit his lip, cutting off an escaping moan, as his half mast erection was palmed, through his jeans. "We can use the bed later." Shizuo yelped as he fell backwards, landing safely on the sofa, his boss on top of him. "The sofa is fine for now." The blond threw his head back, shivering at the touches, filling him with pleasure, finally understanding what Izaya had meant by 'holding back.' He was in for a long weekend.

Shizuo cracked an eye open, looking around the room, hand slamming down on the alarm clock. Izaya wasn't there. He groaned, pulling himself out of bed. A few times, he wished the flea had kept holding back. His body would have been better off for it. Not that he didn't enjoy it. Shizuo sighed, he was getting as bad as Izaya. The flea, knew his body inside and out, every single detail, every weak spot, well except one.

He winced as he pulled himself up, heading for the shower. One thing Izaya didn't have was self control. Today was a new a day, the start to a new week and his lower back was aching, thanks to a certain flea. He needed to find something to get back at him.

After his shower, he wrapped a towel around his waist, heading back into the bedroom, there laying neatly at the bottom of the bed, were his new clothes. After trying his hair, he slipped the new ones on, shaking his arms, to see how baggy they were.

They fit him perfectly, he smiled, going back into the bathroom and staring into the mirror. Although he was slightly worried, Izaya knew his measurements, he didn't mind. For the first time in his life, he felt like who he was supposed to be. "Shizu-chan?" He shook his head. "In here." The flea leaned against the door frame. "What do you think?" He could see the look in those eyes, as the flea opened his mouth.

He held his hand up. "Actually don't tell me." Shizuo moved past Izaya, heading down the stairs and into the kitchen. "How's your back?" He sat on the sofa, with his already made toast, looking back at the figure on the stairs. "Like you don't know." He took a bite of his toast, wondering how his day was going to go.

"Is this your doing?" Shizuo sighed, looking out of the window, as Izaya parked the car. "No, it makes things easier though." He shook his head, not believing him for a second. Closing the door, he headed over to his usual smoking area, where his work mates were waiting. "Shizu-chan. Welcome back."

He looked down, seeing Erika hugging him. She let go, taking a step back. "Shizu-chan, you look amazing." He turned away from the way she was looking him up and down, waving to Kadota and Walker. "Good morning, Shizuo." Everything was back to normal. "Morning Kadota. How was everything?"

"Shizu-chan is your new look down to Iza-Iza?" They both ignored her, making their way into the building. "Everything was the same. Um, Shizuo. I got a text from Shizuka." His eyes widened, that was impossible. "She said, she needed to get away from everything, so she was going travelling." His colleague smiled sadly. "She said to say good bye to everyone and that she didn't hate you."

"Kadota." The other male shook his head. "I'll miss her, but if she's happy, its okay right?" He turned around glaring into crimson eyes, now he couldn't tell them the truth, but in a way everything had been sorted out. He had no need to tell them. "Good morning, Iza-Iza." Oh no. "Have you managed to get Shizu-chan yet?" Trust Karisawa, to create embarrassing situations.

Don't tell them, he silently mouthed the words, but he knew it was too late. "You didn't know? The two of us live together." Everyone turned to them as a loud squeal drew attention in the corridor. "I knew it. Iza-Iza, take care of him." The flea grinned. "So you won't mind, if I borrow him for a while?" Before either of his two sensible colleagues said anything, Erika was already pushing him into the lift with Izaya.

"What game are you playing now?" He followed him from the lift, to Izaya's office. The desk was still empty. "You didn't find a new P.A then." Mr god complex closed the door, moving past him to his desk. "There's someone coming in for an interview later today." Shizuo blinked, slightly surprised. "So this isn't a trick to get me up here again?"

"I thought you trusted me? Shizu-chan." He didn't resist as Izaya pulled him into his lap. "If the interview fails, then you'll be my temporary P.A. Agreed?" Shizuo closed his eyes. "And you won't say anything to sabotage it?" The flea shook his head. "I won't say anything." The blond smiled. "Fine, if it fails. I'll be your P.A, until the next interview."

The flea tightened his arms around him, kissing at his neck. Shizuo automatically tilted his head, giving him more access. "Cut it out, I have to work." He shivered at the skilled tongue, licking against his collar bone, nimble fingers, finding their way under his shirt and into his boxers. "Fuck, Izaya." Damn, he was losing it again, just like he did every time the flea touched him.

He barely heard the knock at the door. "Um Excuse me, Oriha-" Shizuo grabbed Izaya's wrists, bringing himself back to reality. A neatly dressed woman, stood at the door, mouth open. "Ah, s-sorry. I'll leave now." He blinked as she ran off down the corridor. Don't tell me. "Well, since the interview failed, You're my new P.A."

He pulled himself off of Izaya's lap, rearranging his clothes. "You cheated." The flea shook his head. "No, I didn't say a word. Coffee, Shizu-chan." It was times like this, he wondered why he loved Izaya, and he knew it was because the flea had never left his side, never turned him away, fixing everything. Even if he didn't want him to.

He felt his temper rise as he made his way to the kettle. "Damn flea, who does he think I am?" But he already knew the answer to that one. Izaya had been right all along. _Shizu-chan is Shizu-chan. _The blond smiled. Yeah, he was.

End

_A/N:- So that was the end of that one. Let me know what you thought and I hope you enjoyed it._

_And yep, in case anyone was wondering, I was thinking of doing a sequel. This is what I have so far, for the title and the summary. Not happy with the title, so if anyone has any ideas let me know._

_Over the secretary – Sequel to under the boss. Its been a year, since Shizuo and Izaya have been together. The blond is finally happy with who he is, but now Izaya wants more, throwing him back into chaos and confusion. Izuo. Mpreg (or normal pregnancy, not sure what it would count as.)_


End file.
